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Search for the Missing Universe

Posted by michael on from the just-had-it-around-here-somewhere dept.

Chris Gondek writes "The Sydney Morning Herald has reported that one of the greatest discoveries of our time could be made under the Yorkshire moors. Deep in a Yorkshire mine, scientists are toiling to solve a cosmic puzzle that has baffled astronomers for 70 years: about 90 per cent of the universe is missing. Analyse the movements of stars and you can work out how much matter is making them swirl round in galactic islands and how much makes galaxies cluster together as they do - in other words, you can work out how much mass makes the universe look the way it does. But measurements suggest that the universe is not what it appears."

16 of 370 comments (clear)

  1. Bush Administration cites Missing Universe Theory by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    The Bush administration today announced that they believe Iraq's WMD are being stored inside the missing 90% of the universe. "They're definitely there, in the missing 90%, because we can't see them." said White House Chief of Staff Ari Fleischer. "We'll continue to look for them, but if we don't find them, feel confident no one else will be able to, either."

  2. For starters by Faust7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    about 90 per cent of the universe is missing

    I'd look in Windows.

    --
    The coolest voice ever.
  3. Did you look in your shoes? by .com+b4+.storm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Whenever I lose something, sometimes it turns up in my shoes.

    </obligsimpsons>

    --
    "Wow, you're like some kind of superhero able to ward off happiness and success at every turn."
    -- Ryan Stiles
    1. Re:Did you look in your shoes? by Greyfox · · Score: 5, Funny
      I always look under the couch when something goes missing. I wouldn't be surprised if 90% of the mass of the universe is actually under my couch.

      Hey, go ahead and laugh, but it's at least as good a guess as anyone else has managed to make. It just has much less funding.

      --

      I'm trying to teach myself to set people on fire with my mind... Is it hot in here?

    2. Re: Did you look in your shoes? by Black+Parrot · · Score: 3, Funny


      > I guarantee you, if you follow these directions to the letter and use halfway decent ingredients and equipment, these will be the BEST steaks you've ever eaten. Period.

      I'd rather just swing by Krusty's for a ribwich.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  4. Perhaps it's not lost. by bonsai_kitty · · Score: 5, Funny

    There is allways the chance it is just compressed....with bz of course :)

    --
    Computer science is a grab bag of tenuously related areas thrown together by an accident of history, like Yugoslavia.
  5. Not 42? by Joe+Jordan · · Score: 3, Funny

    So does that mean that the answer to the universe isn't really 42?

    1. Re:Not 42? by atomicdragon · · Score: 3, Funny

      We know the answer is 42, we are just trying to fix the problem that we only have 4.2 now.

  6. So thats where my dryer sends my clothes by 1nsane0ne · · Score: 3, Funny

    If 90% of the universe is missing, I'm betting that my dryer is the portal to the missing part. Let me explain. I put a load of clothes in the washer. Then I move them from the washer to my dryer. Then when the dryer gets done with them and I put them on my bed to be folded, stuff that was there when I put the clothes into the dryer is always missing. This has convinced me that my dryer is a portal of sorts to somewhere. On a side note if anyone wants to get in my dryer and try to open this portal somehow you're more then welcome assuming you get me my clothes back.A big plus would be that you'd get the credit for finding the rest of the universe.

    --
    Check out my life
  7. Black Listed by OneArmedMan · · Score: 5, Funny

    Its not that 90% of the Universe is missing, but because of all the Email spam problems we have, the Earth has been Black Listed. I contened that once we solve the spam problem, we will be able to reach the rest of the Universe. With that said, dont epect to be able to reach the rest of the Universe for quite some time.

  8. Re:The question bad then too?! by inaeldi · · Score: 3, Funny

    8 times 6 is 48

  9. Dark data.... by mseeger · · Score: 5, Funny
    Hi,

    i'm currently investigating a similar matter: dark data. It seems to occupy around 90% of my hard disk.

    Bye, Martin

  10. Re:Bush Administration cites Missing Universe Theo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Furthermore, if Al Quaeda were to buy, steal, or receive plutonium as a gift from the missing 90% of the universe, then Al Quaeda would be dangerously close to having a nuclear weapon. This is unacceptable.

    Clearly, 90% of the universe needs to be destroyed. Facing clear evidence of peril, we cannot wait for the final proof -- the smoking gun -- that could come in the form of a mushroom cloud.

  11. The answer to the riddle of the socks by MousePotato · · Score: 5, Funny

    If they ever find the missing 90%... I want back all my missing socks, several sets of keys, two wallets and my mind...

    --
    Prospecting Stinks. Stop Wasting Time on Cold Calling.
  12. Correction... by clambake · · Score: 5, Funny

    Clearly, 90% of the universe needs to be destroyed.

    I think you meant "liberated".

  13. You really have no clue... by DesertFalcon · · Score: 4, Funny

    how unbearably sexy it is to hear a girl discussing mind-bending physics. Or anything that's way over my head, for that matter.

    --
    --- 11 meters/second, or 24 miles per hour - the airspeed velocity of an unladen European swallow. Really.