Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Caldera vs. Microsoft Court Documents To Be Shredded

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the conspiracy-theory-much dept.

Geste writes "As now being reported in this brief story and on my local (Seattle) NPR affiliate, 3 million court documents from Caldera's unfair competition suit against Microsoft are to be shredded in Utah. The timing relative to Microsoft's recent licensing of SCO Unix IP is undoubtedly a complete coincidence. "

29 of 214 comments (clear)

  1. Toilet paper... by ryants · · Score: 5, Funny
    The company that is storing the reams of documents from the Microsoft case has been hired to shred the papers -- then they'll be made into toilet paper.
    This joke practically writes itself.
    --

    Ryan T. Sammartino
    "Ancora imparo"

    1. Re:Toilet paper... by jared_hanson · · Score: 5, Funny

      In related new, Microsoft has just announced that they are resuming the iLoo project.

      --
      -- Fighting mediocrity one bad post at a time.
    2. Re:Toilet paper... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
      Like muLinux says...
      "Micro$oft. Whats that? Some kind of toilet paper?"
    3. Re:Toilet paper... by loquitus · · Score: 4, Funny

      Is this paper going to be proprietary, only for use in MS-created iLoo toilets? How will they ensure compliance and introduce incompability for those of us who try to use "non-standard" products?

    4. Re:Toilet paper... by toxcspdrmn · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hi! I'm the Orifice Assistant.

      You appear to be trying to wipe your bum...

      --
      "E pur si muove!" - attributed to Galileo Galilei, 1564-1642
    5. Re:Toilet paper... by darkov · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hi! I'm the Orifice Assistant.

      Please, no more shitty Microsoft software.

      --
      Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
    6. Re:Toilet paper... by unitron · · Score: 4, Funny

      You have to admit that the iLoo gives a whole new meaning to "Where do you want to go today".

      --

      I see even classic Slashdot is now pretty much unusable on dial up anymore.

    7. Re:Toilet paper... by yawble · · Score: 5, Funny

      Hi, I'm just some asshole, and I'd like this to get modded up to a +5 just to continue this amazing trend.

    8. Re:Toilet paper... by cgenman · · Score: 2, Funny

      Please, no more shitty Microsoft software.

      You can try Open Loo, but there are privacy concerns.

      --
      The ______ Agenda
    9. Re:Toilet paper... by TCaptain · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well with OpenLoo you have to share with the world the results of your work, but if you use the iLoo, the details of what your doing get transmitted back to Microsoft for "debugging" purposes

      --
      "I'm not a procrastinator, I'm temporally challenged"
  2. How ironic... by VCAGuy · · Score: 4, Funny

    Most of it is then made into toilet paper.

    How ironic indeed...any word on which manufacturer will get the pulp (I want to get me some of that!)

    --
    Q: "Why do sound techs say 'check 1, 2'?"
    A: "Cause if they could count any higher they'd be lighting techs."
    1. Re:How ironic... by commodoresloat · · Score: 5, Funny

      Why? Do you really want that stuff up your ass? Don't MS products already cause enough pain in that region as it is?

    2. Re:How ironic... by molarmass192 · · Score: 4, Funny

      Get to slam MS ***and*** SCO in one wipe!!!

      --

      Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws-Plato
  3. Now I'll wonder... by jdray · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I'll wonder, every time I use the john, if this piece of paper once made Microsoft embrace Unix...

    (okay, so I'm stretching things just a little)

    --
    The Spoon
    Updated 6/28/2011
    1. Re:Now I'll wonder... by teamhasnoi · · Score: 4, Funny
      Now I'll wonder, every time I use the john, if this piece of paper once made Microsoft embrace Unix...

      (okay, so I'm stretching things just a little)

      Don't wipe so hard.

  4. Ollie North by Shadow+Wrought · · Score: 4, Funny

    And just this morning I was asking myself, what's Fawn Hall up to these days?

    --
    If brevity is the soul of wit, then how does one explain Twitter?
  5. Well... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    it should make for a more comfortable wiping experience than the Windows 95 cd I currently use. Not as satisfying though.

  6. I'm in Utah, and I won't use it by dragoncortez · · Score: 4, Funny

    How will I know if I'm buying microsoft toilet-paper? I'll just feel it in my bones. This is why I've been reading /. for so long, so that I can just feel that sort of thing. Also, if I have to sign a EULA or something before using it, I'll know.
    Plus, I'm just going to use the single-ply sheets that look like normal paper- not the double-ply, flowery, squishy toilet-paper that I'm sure will have come from microsoft. Just something to get the job done, and something that won't break. That's what I need.

    --
    Making stupid comments so you don't have to.
    1. Re:I'm in Utah, and I won't use it by realdpk · · Score: 3, Funny

      Hint: If you feel toilet paper in your bones, you're wiping too hard!

  7. Quite a sight... by unicron · · Score: 4, Funny

    It is scheduled to be the single most interesting thing that has EVER happened in Utah.

    --
    Finally, math books without any of that base 6 crap in them.
    1. Re:Quite a sight... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

      What about the Sundance Film Festival and the Salt Lake City olympics? Lots goes on in Utah besides getting married and having kids when you're 14.

  8. Re:Toilet paper...supply for the ILOO by pauls2272 · · Score: 2, Funny

    "...they'll be made into toilet paper"

    For use in the new ILOO.

  9. Where's the Dupe? by Guppy06 · · Score: 3, Funny

    CmdrTaco posting an article first just doesn't feel right...

  10. Great... toilet paper... with an EULA by EmbeddedJanitor · · Score: 5, Funny
    This paper is licensed for use on one arse.... come on help me out /.

    --
    Engineering is the art of compromise.
  11. Potty Humor.... by Tsali · · Score: 3, Funny

    Most of it is then made into toilet paper ... so does the EULA fit on one-ply or two-ply? Do you have to break the seal by peeling the sheets apart?

    --
    This space for rent.
  12. Re:The AARD code story is immortal. by Red+Pointy+Tail · · Score: 2, Funny
    However, the WIN.COM code that produced this message turned out to be XOR encrypted, self-modifying, and deliberately obfuscated--all in an apparent attempt to thwart disassembly. The code also tries to defeat attempts for a debugger to step through it.


    What... they decrypted and unobfuscated it??? Sic em, DMCA! :>
  13. Re:try READING the article by dcmeserve · · Score: 3, Funny

    > The 937 boxes of court-ordered documents
    > .

    Ok everyone, sing along:

    937 boxes of court-ordered documents on the wall,
    937 boxes of court-ordered documents!

    Take one down, shred it around,

    936 boxes of court-ordered documents on the wall!

    936 boxes of court-ordered documents on the wall,
    936 boxes of court-ordered documents!

    Take one down, ***AGGGMMMPHHPHHH*** [wad of toilet paper shoved in mouth]

    --
    "Orthodoxy is unconsciousness" - Orwell
  14. Send them here. by uberdave · · Score: 3, Funny

    They can store them at my house for a mere $500 a month.

    --
    "I'm not impatient. I just hate waiting." - My Dad
  15. Okay, here's a better solution by MickLinux · · Score: 2, Funny

    Just auction it off on ebay.

    "937 boxes of documents from the SCO vs. Microsoft case; you must register this with the appropriate judge, and may not destroy it, but you can have your own little piece of Microsoft dirt! This lot contains boxes #237-244. A digitized list of the contents of each box is as follows:..."

    --
    Correct Horse Battery Staple: 72 bits of entropy. Enter "Correct H" into google. When it generates the phrase, that's