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The Internet and The War

John Jorsett writes "Wired Magazine has an interesting article on the realities of the use of communication and navigation technology in the Iraq war. Particularly intriguing is the use of chat rooms to engage experts thousands of miles away in helping to solve problems at the troop level in the field. And if you think your admin job is tough, try running your servers in 125 degree heat in a sandstorm."

46 of 281 comments (clear)

  1. Soldier Skills. by villain170 · · Score: 4, Insightful


    The military better watch itself -- if they start relying too heavily on technology, soldiers will lose the fundamental skills that make them unique.

    --

    I am over here... now I am back over here!
    1. Re:Soldier Skills. by Cipster · · Score: 5, Insightful

      It's already happened in my field (medicine). Too many doctors rely on sophisticated lab tests rather than performing a good physical

    2. Re:Soldier Skills. by Timesprout · · Score: 5, Funny

      Na with the automation of weapons and IRC communication it just means the recruiting adds will change their requirements to something like

      Ability to work alone (usually forced)

      Extensive experience in underground bunkers (parents basement is acceptable)

      Ability to type 80 wpm

      Extensive experience with RTS and FPS games

      Childish desire to hit back at society for rejecting your inept social skills by attempting to achieve global domination

      --
      Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
      What truth?
      There is no dupe
    3. Re:Soldier Skills. by Planesdragon · · Score: 5, Interesting

      The military better watch itself -- if they start relying too heavily on technology, soldiers will lose the fundamental skills that make them unique.

      Yeah, like swordfighting--er...

      I mean, yeah, like how to fire a musket line--no, wait...

      Trenches! Must not forget trenches!

      The history of war is a history of technology progressing, progressing, and progressing. The "war-fighter" (i.e., "solider, salior, marine, or pilot") doesn't have a job of reading maps and following trails--their job is to fight and win.

      Sure, your networked rifle squad could lose its GPS uplink--but that's no different than having your map burnt away from you.

    4. Re:Soldier Skills. by hobbesmaster · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Isn't that somewhat saying that you don't need guns because you already have bayonets? And when your gun jams, you're going for that bayonet anyway so lets just skip the guns.

      And then centralized command and control; knock that out and theres nobody to control the armies! So lets just throw everyone out there and say "conquer the nation" and it'll all work out!

      More or less the same line of reasoning. I'd expect a squad to react to losing his GPS the same way he'd react to losing their comms or running out of ammunition....

      Anyway, when did using faulty technology stop the military in the past? I seem to recall an absurd rate of duds in USN torpedos during WWII...

    5. Re:Soldier Skills. by Dun+Malg · · Score: 3, Insightful
      Basic Training may not change much from what it is now; however, once soldiers get to their units and they see their officers using their fancy GPS machines, they are going to wonder why they ever learned how to read a stupid old paper map in the first place. That's when the military is going to be in trouble.

      You're looking at it wrong. GPS units aren't used as replacements for maps. They're used to supplement them. GPS doesn't show terrain features, so planning unit movements still often requires separate maps. Even if these maps are kept totally online someday, the ability to READ a map will still have to be taught. Basic military training will always include basic navigation skills.

      --
      If a job's not worth doing, it's not worth doing right.
    6. Re:Soldier Skills. by zilly · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Look, why exactly will the military be in trouble when they begin relying on GPS instead of paper maps? Presumably there's some advantage to all this newfangled technology over reading paper maps, else they wouldn't be training soldiers to use these GPS gizmos.

      If your argument is that the military shouldn't rely on technology because technology is inherently unreliable, then you may have a point -- but do note that the Pentagon isn't stupid, at least not when it comes to training its soldiers, and it will have prepared them well for the eventuality of a technological failure. In fact, the article specifically mentions that soldiers are trained in how to read paper maps in case GPS fails.

      Arguing that technology shouldn't be adopted because it causes basic skills to atrophy is like arguing that society should never have moved past the hunter-gatherer stage because today, in the age of specialization, hardly anyone knows anymore how to kill, skin and roast a beast with their bare hands.

      May I also point out that even GPS mapping units require the user to know how to read a map.

      humbly yours

  2. Heh, the use of chat rooms... by craenor · · Score: 5, Funny

    A/S/L - 19 iraqi single male, looking for sniper...

  3. In Australia... by more+fool+you · · Score: 5, Funny

    We cook our lunches on the servers. We left a 2U gap so we could also have grills.

    1. Re:In Australia... by fredrikj · · Score: 4, Funny

      We cook our lunches on the servers. We left a 2U gap so we could also have grills.

      Here in Sweden, the extra heat from computers is just about enough to evaporate oxygen. Overclocking is a necessary means of survival during the winters.

  4. Can't be true. by caluml · · Score: 4, Interesting
    Suspect chemical attack, he types into a Microsoft Chat session running on the tactical Internet, the military's battlefield communications system.

    Tell me this isn't true? The US military resort to Microsoft Chat to communicate a possible chemical attack? Surely they'd have some custom chat software with some heavy duty encryption in it?

  5. Military Relies on Microsoft Technology by HidingMyName · · Score: 4, Insightful

    Several things come to mind reading this. For one thing, they appear to be using Microsoft Chat over the internet to communicate reconnaissance information. Whether such communication is secure is something I'd really like the govt. to think about, if not it could be putting soldiers at risk. One thing that is mission critical is tech support, and apparently they have a top tier (premier?) support from Microsoft. I wonder if anybody short of say IBM could offer a competing Open Source (*BSD or Linux) based solution?

  6. BBQ! by The+Bungi · · Score: 4, Funny
    Suspect chemical attack, he types into a Microsoft Chat session running on the tactical Internet, the military's battlefield communications system. Multiple dead sheep by side of road. Pls advise.

    A1 sauce and your tank's exhaust. pls send wingz the commander replies.

  7. Re:OMG by caluml · · Score: 4, Interesting
    every friendly tank, plane, ship, and soldier in the world in real time,

    I think "every" might be a slight exaduration. But seriously, does that extend to allied forces, cos we (British) always seem to take a lot of hits from people allegedly on the same side as us. :o(

    And also, it's all very well having two soldeirs guarding it, but what happens if a missile lands right on top of them. You need them separated by a few miles.

  8. RTFA by (54)T-Dub · · Score: 4, Interesting

    "Welcome to Siprnet," he says. GCCS runs over Siprnet - the Secret Internet Protocol Router Network - in the same way that Web applications run over the public Internet. The difference with "Sipper" is that it's basically a far-flung local area network. To maximize security, it doesn't connect with the Internet proper. But it links Centcom to the battlefield and, among other things, allows Franks to talk to Rumsfeld and President Bush via two-way videoconference every evening.

    --

    "I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
    1. Re:RTFA by KrispyKringle · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Again, according to the article, procedure is that if a humvee or truck equipped with one of these units is surrounded, the driver is to turn off the ignition, which shuts down the computer, requireing a password to restart. However, you obviously have to wonder what happens if, say, the driver is sniped but the computer left intact. Some sort of timed logout, while-using-biometric-authentication, or deadman switch seems the best answer, I suppose. Of course, the same vulnerability applies to radios, apparently without many ill effects.

    2. Re:RTFA by Svobodin · · Score: 4, Interesting

      On the FBCB2 project, SOP was to "zero" the harddrive using a built-in switch, then smash the screen if compromise was certain. But even if they were to get hold of one, and if the average Iraqi is anywhere near as smart as the average American GI, it'd take him a while to make sense of the damned thing. In that time, we're busy pushing out new comsec to secure any future transmissions.

    3. Re:RTFA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Informative

      SIPRNet is one of several DoD operated internets that are physically separate from The Internet(tm), but use the same technology (TCP/IP, DNS, HTTP web servers, etc.) Interconnections between physically secure LANs are over dedicated point-to-point facilities that are bulk encrypted with hardware. It is used for very low-level classified information ("SECRET"). (This level of classification is used for information like today's weather forecast, as opposed to, say, the launch codes for nuclear missiles.) There's also a "sensitive" but unclassified version called NIPRNet, again physically separate. The military likes air gaps.

      Owning the crypto box does you no good without the key sets. In fact, I think the SIPR crypto is compatible with the old KG-84s which John Walker gave away so long ago. As with software, it doesn't matter if the algorithm is known.

      I expect the keys are routinely changed daily for this application based on similar levels of security for other purposes, but I don't really know.

      Nothing about the network architecture prohibits using other levels of encryption at other layers in the protocol stack. You can still use IPSec, SSL, SSH, web site passwords, ROT13, and all that to your hearts' content. SIPRNet just provides data link encryption.

      The bit about Rumsfeld and Franks teleconferencing is probably fluff. If true, they may well have had additional crypto on either end. Or not; it might've been along the lines of "How's it going, Tommy? Fine, sir, fine."

  9. What the army needs a few good admins... by EdgeShadow · · Score: 5, Funny

    From text of article:

    "If a general has a problem with his Web browser, then I fix it," Cluff says.

    "How do you fix it?" I ask.

    "I consult Microsoft online help," he replies.

  10. Better watch that EULA! by phillymjs · · Score: 3, Interesting

    So what happens if a bunch of soldiers in the field die due to a failure of/flaw in a Microsoft product? Will Microsoft get off scot-free because of their "no liability" language in their EULA? Would there suddenly be knee-jerk laws passed concerning software reliability?

    Discuss.

    ~Philly

  11. Article canot distingush Internet from WAN by whoever57 · · Score: 5, Informative

    If you actually *read* the article, you will see that the reporter talks about (sigh) a "secret Internet" and a "Tactical Internet". What they really mean is a "WAN" (the reporter refers to it as a "far-flung LAN"). It even says that the WAN is NOT connected to the Internet.

    --
    The real "Libtards" are the Libertarians!
    1. Re:Article canot distingush Internet from WAN by redhog · · Score: 3, Informative

      _An_ internet (as opposed to _The_ Internet, which is _a_ worldwide internet), is a network of networks, an inter-network-connectivity. WAN is a specific set of technologies for implementing larger networks, whereas an internet is a network made up of several LANs and/or WANs, interconnected using "routers", using the IP as communication protocol.

      --
      --The knowledge that you are an idiot, is what distinguishes you from one.
  12. It's true by John+Jorsett · · Score: 5, Insightful

    General speaking, you don't encrypt at the software level, you encrypt the comm links themselves, using NSA-approved hardware. That way, you don't have to worry about it at the application level, and there's no opportunity to build in hidden channels to bypass the encryption.

    1. Re:It's true by John+Jorsett · · Score: 4, Insightful
      There's no point encrypting the links if one end is compromised, or am I missing something?

      Correct. Which is why you have a destruction plan in the event of capture, and procedures to change out the keys if compromise is suspected. Too, you take into account the perishability of the info. You don't need to protect, "I'm at position X," as long as you do, "the identities of our agents are ...," so that factors in to how you handle potential compromises as well.

    2. Re:It's true by Svobodin · · Score: 3, Informative

      Exactly. A large percentage of the traffic on the tactical internet takes place via tcp/ip on encrypted, frequency hopping fm packet radios. And commo is always ready to push out new comsec in case of any compromise. This keeps them pretty secure. Trying to use any of it outside line-of-sight is a bitch, though.

    3. Re:It's true by Dylan+Zimmerman · · Score: 5, Informative

      Actually, they DID have contingencies. If the sub was ever boarded, abandoned, or could possibly change hands in any way, the comm oficers were ordered to throw the books describing the Enigma into the water on the floor. These books were printed with a special red ink on pink paper. The ink would disolve as soon as it hit the water.

      Without those books, the Enigma would be completely useless. They contained the schedule describing the first few letters the operators had to type to use the machine for any given day. It was a great system, really. The Enigma was eventually captured, but it took quite some doing.

  13. Heavy Metal music by Hydraulinen_Androidi · · Score: 3, Funny

    They also need an MP3 player to torture those poor captured representatives of the former Iraqi regime with heavy metal and children's songs. Very demanding admin work too. Military admin needs to know how to operate Winamp player! No use for M16 as a human rights and democracy tool? Might look a bit nasty on the telly?

    And then you might need some kind of a Geiger counter or something to find those non-existent WMD's this war was supposedly about.

    And do not forget to buy a pair of robot brains for your smart president.

    This is the high tech reality of American Warfare today!

    Mr. American President says "Boot my operating system!"

  14. Get real. by El+Camino+SS · · Score: 5, Insightful


    For one thing, they appear to be using Microsoft Chat over the internet to communicate reconnaissance information. Whether such communication is secure is something I'd really like the govt. to think about, if not it could be putting soldiers at risk.

    You're kidding, right? The DOD created the internet concept to make a more secure network. They have crap to keep things secret that we could only dream of.

    Given that one "internet" concept alone, and the fact that Echelon probably exsists and the US Govt has probably been using it for decades, and that military planes explode in impact specifically to destroy technology... ...then I'd juuust assume that the US Govt would be up on communication secrecy.

    Cmon. Secrecy has been *the* number one asset of the military for centuries. Its not a new concept.

    After all, the Chinese got inside our spyplanes and didn't get jack squat out of it. That should let you know how paranoid we are about our information. So to say, "be careful that is not secure," to the US Military is like saying, "be careful, that stove is hot," to a five star chef.

    1. Re:Get real. by caluml · · Score: 3, Interesting
      the Chinese got inside our spyplanes and didn't get jack squat out of it.

      You're very certain of that.

    2. Re:Get real. by swillden · · Score: 3, Funny

      So to say, "be careful that is not secure," to the US Military is like saying, "be careful, that stove is hot," to a five star chef.

      Hehe. This reminds me of a good story.

      A few years ago, I gave a presentation on security technology to the Israeli Ministry of Defense. My presentation went well, but the guy who went before me was a security consultant used to dealing with corporate environments, with absolutely no concept of military realities.

      The room full of Israeli brass listened politely to his presentation, even though it was clearly a waste of their time, up until the time he was discussing the importance of documenting your security policies and asked them, in complete seriousness, if the Israeli military commands had any documented security policies. I have to say that they took it very well: rather than forcibly ejecting the idiot from the room, they just laughed uproariously and proceeded to tune out the rest of his talk.

      I have more than a passing familiarity with US DOD security policies, which are measured by the metric ton, and I cannot even begin to imagine what Israel, a country that has been, essentially, at war for every minute of its entire existence, must have. Needless to say, when he asked that question, I was torn. Half of me wanted desperately to crawl into a hole and die, and the other half wanted to stand up and yell "He's not from my company! I think he works for Microsoft!"

      --
      Note to ACs: I usually delete AC replies without reading them. If you want to talk to me, log in.
  15. Change in communication and detractors by Wyatt+Earp · · Score: 5, Informative

    There has been alot of press made about the US military's changes in the way it communicates and it's desire to "swarm" on an enemy instead of the old way it and every other army has moved and communicated.

    Basicly since the Romans every conventional army moved like a great set of parallel lines with interconnecting lines between them for communication and supply.

    There has been a layer of abstraction between what the Generals tell the Colonels, what the Colonels tell the Captains, what the Captains tell the Lieutenants and what the Lieutenants tell thier soldiers.

    Since the Revolution the layers of abstraction grew wider and wider.

    By the Second World War, the United States Army had the widest gulf between the commanders and the men at the front of any Army in the European Theatre of Operation.

    By Vietnam it was worse and the Gulf War it came to a head when Schwarzkopf canned a General who refused to advance due to a lack of fuel for his M-1s.

    Now what is happening is remarkably fast adaptation of technology and communications systems for an Army.

    In Afghanistan it was possible for A-Teams on the ground to contact the Pentagon directly and request supplies for themselves or thier allies on the ground and to have those things loaded within hours on C-17s.

    Beyond the chat-rooms and GPS are the data-links between aircraft like the newer F-15s, F-22s, Grippens, Comanche, or data-links between ships, helicopters and patrol aircraft.

    An example of this can be seen in the F-22. The radar of the F-22 has many modes, but one of them is to sit there dark and listen for radar signals, then it sends out pencil thin beams to detect the engines of an aircraft and it compiles a list of possible types from that signature. Using a data-link the detecting F-22 can send back detailed target information and aircraft behind the lead aircraft can launch AIM-120 missiles on a profile to light thier radars only when they get close to the target.

    People have been pooh-pooing this revolution in communication and sensors in the press, but I think there is an assumption of rapid technology adpotion in the private sector that just doesn't happen in the military, but as militaries go the United States is adopting at a revolutionary rate.

    1. Re:Change in communication and detractors by brer_rabbit · · Score: 4, Funny
      In Afghanistan it was possible for A-Teams on the ground...

      On the ground? Well duh! How many times do we have to hear, "I ain't gettin' on no plane with that crazy fool!"

  16. DON'T by GC · · Score: 5, Funny

    MENTION THE WAR...

    [John Cleese, Faulty Towers]

  17. Colonel!!!! Error message!!!! by macshune · · Score: 4, Funny

    Private : Colonel! It says, "MSN Messenger down for maintenance. Please try again in 15 minutes"

    Colonel : Shit, boy! We're gonna get gassed 'cause Billy didn't change the oil up in Redmond! Sheeeit.

    Private : Do you want me to bring out the pigeons?

    Colonel [lights cigarette]:Fuck it. Send an e-mail to command that says, "possible chemical attack underway. pls advise."

    Private :Sir! XP just had to install an update. I need to reboot! ...Sir? Sir???

    [Colonel breaks M-16 over leg]

    Thankfully, a giant penguin dropped down from the sky with reliable software, just before it was too late.

  18. Re:Chat rooms? by John+Jorsett · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I don't mean this as a troll (though somewhat tongue-in-cheek), but seriously, asking for military advice on IRC or AOL strikes me as akin to asking the NIDA for information on the dangers of marijuana - ie, even if you manage to get any factual information, you'll never find it from the BS it comes buried under.

    You don't seriously believe that a tank commander is going to go on some AOL or IRC chat and start asking a bunch of random schmucks for advice about a gas attack do you? The military is using off-the-shelf technology to construct their own private networks and chats because that's a convenient structure for what they're trying to accomplish. I work with these guys and they're not quite that stupid (they just might even say the same about me if I'm lucky).

  19. Re:OMG by (54)T-Dub · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Further down in the article the exaggeration is revealed:

    About a quarter of the trucks in this convoy have GCCS

    The system is still really powerfull though:

    One zoom out and I'm looking at the entire Baghdad region. Another zoom out and I see all of Iraq, with forces dotted in the north and heavily clumped around the capital in the center. One more click and I'm looking at the entire sphere of Central Command, from the edge of Libya to Pakistan. I see forces in Turkey, and clustered in Iraq and Kuwait. I feel like a four-star general. I'm sitting in the Iraqi desert looking at troop movements across 25 countries.

    --

    "I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
  20. Re:Colonel!!!! Error message!!!! by netsharc · · Score: 3, Funny

    Reminds me of the scene from the South Park movie, where the holographic war map crashes, and the General summons Bill Gates. Here an MP3 of their conversation.

    --
    What time is it/will be over there? Check with my iPhone app!
  21. Embedded... by cruppel · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The news ruined the word "embedded" for me...Embedded reporters watching soldiers fight, take a piss, talk about this war like it had been going on for even two months, watching them do whatever...I will always hear that word from now on and think of soldiers doing mundane things.

    As for them using "Microsoft Chat" or whatever they called it, that's just plain irresponsible. If people have trouble using computers for simple email every day then why on God's (sandy) earth do they think those same technologies will hold up in much more mission-critical military conditions?

  22. Clippy sez... by commodoresloat · · Score: 4, Funny

    It looks like you're communicating news of a WMD emergency. Would you like help?

    __ Get help with emergency

    __ Continue with emergency without help

    __ Howl in agony and clutch at face as it melts grotesquely into the desert sand

  23. Re:F-22 by Wyatt+Earp · · Score: 3, Informative

    Now I'm sure someone will complain about my talking up the F-22 and claim I'm over Tom Clancy'ing it's capabilities or something.

    My info came from International Air Power Review Volume 5 pages 60-62 and covers the ALR-94 passive receiver, Intra-Flight Datalink and APG-77 radar in non-cooperative target recognition and jet engine modulation modes.

  24. critical soldier skills by The+Tyro · · Score: 4, Insightful

    like cleaning everything... constantly... endlessly.

    Most people who have never deployed to that region of the world don't realize that it's not sandy... it's dusty. The soil (or what passes for soil) is this lightweight, fine, adherent brown dust... that dust got into damned near everything, even closed pelican cases (don't ask me how).

    It wreaked havoc on our COMM and Systems guys; they were constantly cleaning their boxen, from the servers, right on down to the Dell laptops we were using.

    Even in my field (medical), we were constantly cleaing and mopping out our Operating Room (in a tent, naturally).. you could NEVER get ahead of the dust. This drove my surgeon colleagues nuts... you could pretty much count on a higher complication rate with an environment like that. When the sandstorms would roll in, forget about it.

    A bunch of us ran our own private LAN between a bunch of tents; honing our 31337 CounterStrike 5killz (I tell ya, those terrorists were in deep trouble if they tried to take us on... our M4 and AWP skills would have devastated those Al-Queda noobs... ) Fortunately, our hardware was not as mission-essential as the systems/COMM types... we could afford the occasional crash (though it did hurt to lose your sweet kill ratio).

    Demanding environment, alright... it's amazing our stuff worked as well as it did.

    --
    Even if a man chops off your hand with a sword, you still have two nice, sharp bones to stick in his eyes.
  25. Re:How many MS licenses did our military buy? by commodoresloat · · Score: 4, Informative

    There are more pressing military waste issues than M$ licensing to worry about, like the one trillion missing USD that they simply can't explain. ("Sorry, Senator, I must have left it in my other pants.")

  26. Technology changes other fields as well by John3 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The challenge is to integrate the technology without reducing the skills that make the particular occupation unique. I own a hardware store and we've embraced all sorts of inventory, POS, web, wireless and communication technology. However, we still need to be able to manually examine a rusted ballcock that a customer yanked out of their toilet and hook them up with the proper replacement parts.

    --
    "We make our world significant by the courage of our questions and by the depth of our answers." Carl Sagan
    1. Re:Technology changes other fields as well by operagost · · Score: 3, Funny

      Huh huh... you said "ballcock".

      --

      Gamingmuseum.com: Give your 3D accelerator a rest.
  27. War is cool and doesn't cause any harm! by MavEtJu · · Score: 4, Insightful

    "What's funny about using Microsoft Chat," he adds with a sly smile, "is that everybody has to choosean icon to represent themselves. Some of these guys haven't bothered, so the program assigns them one. We'll be in the middle of a battle and a bunch of field artillery colonels will come online in the form of these big-breasted blondes. We've got a few space aliens, too."

    This is exactly what I fear, that going to war is fun and not causing any harm to whoever is in it. First the US television stations didn't want to show the pictures of their own casualties, now this is added.

    War is cool, war is fun and it doesn't cause any harm[*]!

    [*] no pictures of harmed people by our own actions will be shown.

    --
    bash$ :(){ :|:&};:
  28. Using chat rooms to connect soldiers to experts? by cje · · Score: 5, Funny

    *** soldier (jimbo@army.iq) has joined channel #help
    *** techie (whizkid@pentagon.mil) has joined channel #help
    <soldier> hey, anybody know how to get sand out of a gatling gun?
    <techie> Sure thing. let me look it up for you. brb
    <soldier> thanks
    *** katie (luvkitties@ipt.aol.com) has joined channel #help
    <katie> hay all!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    <soldier> ...
    <katie> hi solder ASL??
    <techie> Approximately when did you get the sand in the gatling gun?
    <katie> huh??
    <soldier> about 15 minutes ago.
    <techie> okay, brb
    <katie> techie what r u talking about!!
    *** jenny (nsync_rulz@msn.com) has joined channel #help
    <katie> hi jenny how r u ltns!!!!!!! lol
    <jenny> K8E!!!! kisskiss
    <soldier> ...
    <techie> How much sand would you say is inside the gatling gun?
    <jenny> wtf lol
    <soldier> well, there's quite a bit. it's draining out like an hourglass.
    <jenny> hour glass??
    <katie> jenny geuss what, taylor told lisa today that he want's me 2 invite him 2 the dance on saturday
    <jenny> omfg LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
    <jenny> wat did u say? did u say anything 2 him?
    <techie> The sand is draining out of the Gatling gun like an hourglass?
    <soldier> pretty much, yes.
    <katie> heehehe!! well i went up 2 him and said hi and then he bought me a bottle of mt dew code red!! LOL
    <techie> I see. have you tried shaking it vigorously?
    <katie> techie wtf would i shake it vigorusly, it would fizz over and explode
    *** techie rolls eyes
    <techie> soldier: Have you tried shaking the gatling gun vigorously?
    <soldier> no. brb
    *** taylor (linkinparkfan@earthlink.net) has joined channel #help
    <jenny> OMFG
    <katie> OMFG
    <soldier> OMFG
    <soldier> the damn thing just went off and took out the cook and the chaplain
    <katie> hi taylor, how r u????
    <techie> I see. Recommend you replace gatling gun immediately.
    <taylor> hi katie
    <soldier> roger
    *** soldier has left channel #help
    <taylor> jenny, how r u? r u busy saturday night?
    <katie> f u jenny
    *** katie has left channel #help

    --
    We're going down, in a spiral to the ground