Slashdot Mirror

← Back to Stories (view on slashdot.org)

Future Army Battle Uniforms - Wired, Lethal

Posted by simoniker on from the serious-geek-hardware-spending dept.

ssyladin writes "CNN is running an article about the future US army battle dress, code-named 'Scorpion'. It says that "..soldiers of 2011 will step into wired uniforms that incorporate all the equipment they need. The uniforms will monitor vital signs and plug them into a massive network of satellites, unmanned planes and robotic vehicles the military has planned." There will be sensors to monitor heartrate and blood-pressure, built-in tourniquets, a HUD to connect to GPS info, overhead maps, infrared and starlight cameras, and even the venerable M16 rifles are slated for an overhaul."

33 of 756 comments (clear)

  1. Nostalgia by NeoMoose · · Score: 4, Funny

    But can it play networked Pong?

    1. Re:Nostalgia by brocheck · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yes, with bullets.

      --

      suddenly I feel very tired

    2. Re:Nostalgia by FireballFreddy · · Score: 0, Funny

      Sweet! Finally we'll have the technology to invade Canada!

      --
      SQUEAK, the Death of Rats explained.
  2. Kinda brings a whole new meaning by thumbtack · · Score: 5, Funny

    to the phrase "Blue Screen of Death" doesn't it?

    1. Re:Kinda brings a whole new meaning by boaworm · · Score: 4, Funny
      Have you seen this Sun-add. Kind of the same theme, but in a different environment :-)


      *Prays his bandwidth will survivs*

      --
      Probable impossibilities are to be preferred to improbable possibilities.
      Aristotele
    2. Re:Kinda brings a whole new meaning by Mr.+Bad+Example · · Score: 4, Funny

      Let's hope they don't give the contract to Microsoft...

      ERROR: AMMO_COUNT_NOT_LESS_OR_EQUAL

      RIFLE.DLL caused a general application fault in module INFANTRY.EXE. Your battle dress uniform has been shut down to protect your data. Please reboot your helmet. If the problem persists, contact technical support or your local coroner.

  3. like a video game by satanicat · · Score: 5, Funny

    It does sound like a video game.

    I wonder if the "network" keeps track of Frags?

    --
    How Now Brown Cow
    1. Re:like a video game by Jaysyn · · Score: 3, Funny

      Well that's why the studies were done by scientists and not idiots spouting off on /.

      btw....If you are completely without a clue, said studies proved that heavy gamers have increased spatial reasoning abilities. I.e. while one person can only track so many moving objects at one time, the gamer can track *up to* 50% more. This is good for both jet pilots & RADAR operators.

      As for references, it was just in the news (and I believe Nature) last week, Google's your friend.

      Jaysyn

      --
      There is a war going on for your mind.
  4. Good... by Anubis333 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Maybe now we won't be firing at ourselves the majority of the time. ... unmanned drones and vehicles will be?

    CE

    1. Re:Good... by pubjames · · Score: 3, Funny

      Maybe now we won't be firing at ourselves the majority of the time...

      Yourselves? Don't you mean your British and Australian allies? And journalists of course.

    2. Re:Good... by Dionysus · · Score: 5, Funny

      There used to be a saying during WWII:
      "When the German flew overhead, the Allied took cover. When the British flew overhead, the German took cover. When the Americans flew overhead, everybody took cover".

      Doesn't seem like things have changed that much.

      --
      Je ne parle pas francais.
  5. Soldier, you are way out of line... by pieterh · · Score: 5, Funny
    "But sarge, I don't really think shooting those civilians is such a good ide.. BLAMAWAP!!!!"


    Sarge: "Dang, that remote works well."

    --
    My blog
  6. Spearmen? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I wonder, will Spearmen will be able to defeat these soldiers?

  7. More beta testing for... by jabbadabbadoo · · Score: 3, Funny

    ...Dolph Lundgren and Claude Van Damme.

  8. It has to be done... by bigboard · · Score: 1, Funny

    Imagine a Beowulf cluster of those.

    --
    Cynicism is the natural defence of the romantic.
  9. News Flash by farnsaw · · Score: 2, Funny

    IPv6, once known as "Toaster Net", has officially been renamed "Bullet Net". Every Bullet will have it's own IPv6 address, built in webcam, Fly by Wireless, and will automatically check to see if there is any beverage left in the coffee pot / coke machine.

    --
    "Computer Scientists can count to 1024 on their fingers" (non-mutant, non-mutilatated, human computer scientists)
  10. Re:Stupid land mines by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    The mines, connected wirelessly...

    Awesome! free wireless network connectivity, paid for by the U.S. Army. Aim your pringles cans! Who's going to do the chalking?

  11. So... by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 4, Funny

    US forces are starting to look like Imperial Storm Troopers? Well, they already aim pretty lousy... That was a start, this is just the finishing touch I guess.

    --
    Hate me!
  12. Re:Good Riddance by mnemonic_ · · Score: 1, Funny
    Hopefully they'll replace it with something that's a bit more reliable

    They did, after Vietnam. It's called the M-16A2.
  13. whoa. by Muhammed+Absol · · Score: 2, Funny

    The most high-tech component will be the helmet, with tiny, built-in cameras to spot enemies lurking in the dark or concealed by bushes. The cameras' images will appear on semitransparent screens attached to their helmets.

    Sweet! Wall hacks for US soldiers. What else will we learn from counterstrike and quake 3 kids?

  14. Then comes a uniform with built-in tourniquets by t0qer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Then comes a uniform with built-in tourniquets that one day might be tightened and loosened remotely.

    Bored Soldier: Base I'm bleeding bad, I need my "arm" tightened.

    Base: Our sensors show that isn't your arm.

  15. Missing feature by magwm · · Score: 4, Funny

    Why is there no SEP(Somebody Elses Problem)-field included in this nice suit?

    ouch - this is really bad for the eyes.. Zaphod

    1. Re:Missing feature by Jason+Earl · · Score: 1, Funny

      Let's hope they come with Peril Sensitive Sunglasses as well. That would be helpful.

  16. Re:Haven't we heard this all before? by visualight · · Score: 0, Funny

    I think that system is the one the article mentions getting rid of. The first three paragraphs again:


    NEW YORK (AP) -- Dennis Birch compares the U.S. soldier to a Christmas tree: Whenever improvements in technology help lighten a soldier's load, someone else wants to hang on a new piece of gear like an ornament.


    The result is "100 pounds of great ideas hanging off him in all different directions," Birch said.


    So in its prototype for a high-tech uniform of the future, researchers at the U.S. Army Soldier Systems Center in Natick, Massachusetts, have shaken all gear from the soldier and started from scratch.

    --
    Samsung took back my unlocked bootloader because Google wants me to rent movies. They're both evil.
  17. Skins by Cackmobile · · Score: 3, Funny

    DO you think it would allow the soldier to put their own skins on the enemy. Make them look like they are wearing a purple pokka dot bikini or something...

    but seriously how about not putting the money into armies and not having wars.

    --
    -- Karma Karma Karma Karma, Karma Chameleon - Boy George
  18. In the Army now by Markee · · Score: 2, Funny


    Welcome to two new high level members of the Army:

    General Protection Fault

    and

    Major Error!

    And good luck to their subordinates.

    --
    Yes, you are right there. -- Another glass of champagne?
  19. Evil Plan Forming..... by evilviper · · Score: 1, Funny
    "..soldiers of 2011 will step into wired uniforms that incorporate all the equipment they need. The uniforms will monitor vital signs and plug them into a massive network of satellites, unmanned planes and robotic vehicles the military has planned."

    At which time (2011) I will construct several tesla coils, and use them to single-handedly take over the world.

    I can't wait!
    --
    Slashdot gets worse every day... Pipedot: News for nerds, without the corporate slant
  20. Sound? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Does this thing have built in sound? Because you can just imagine the...

    "3 Frags Left!"

    "Multikill!"

    "Godlike!"

  21. MS jokes [troll warning] by Lord+Prox · · Score: 4, Funny

    In a press release... Microsoft Corp announced today its DirectX 12 MilSpec API renamed DirectWarfare including the new
    DirectFCS (fire control system) and
    ActiveWarhead
    seamlessly integrated in the new Microsoft LookOut Below communications software.

    Where do you want the bombs to fall today

  22. The force.. by leuk_he · · Score: 2, Funny

    Finally we figure out how darth vader chokes one of the commanders.

    "donÂt underestimate the powers of the force"

    While pressing the neck tourniquette of one of the commanders with his remote.

  23. He looks familiar... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    I know, he's Boba Fett!

    http://i.cnn.net/cnn/2003/TECH/ptech/06/04/soldi er .future.ap/story.futuresoldier.cnn.jpg

  24. Re:thinking things through by onthefenceman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Is the idea of hundreds of soldiers running through a forest, all attached with miles of CAT 5 cable any better?

    --
    Have you seen my stapler?
  25. Re:Good...(uh oh, it's an offtopic post!) by untaken_name · · Score: 1, Funny

    That's OK. You still be firing at the Canadians and the British.

    Only if they won't give up their WMD.

    --
    http://xkcd.com/386/