An enormous breakthrough for parents
by
artemis67
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· Score: 5, Funny
Finally, a solution to the "Dad, he keeps touching me!" dilemma.
Re:An enormous breakthrough for parents
by
CptChipJew
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· Score: 5, Funny
The one problem though, is that this device runs at about 15,000 Kelvin.
Wait, now that I think about it, that would really teach those damn kids to stop messing around.
-- Vonal Declosion
Re:An enormous breakthrough for parents
by
indros
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· Score: 4, Funny
Also probably a good first line of defense as birth control as well. Make sure the swimmers don't reach their destination!
Re:An enormous breakthrough for parents
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
The one problem though, is that this device runs at about 15,000 Kelvin.
Bah, that's only 14,727 degrees Celsius.
I've already seen a working force field
by
Hogwash+McFly
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· Score: 5, Funny
There was a guy down the street from me who was in a force field. Can't remember his name but he had a black and white striped shirt, white face paint and he didn't speak that much.
-- Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
Re:I've already seen a working force field
by
Amarok.Org
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· Score: 2, Funny
do I get a prize for guessing correctly?
No, but you get a prize for being an idiot and driving the joke completely into the ground.
-- --
"Other than that, how was the play Mrs. Lincoln?"
Re:I've already seen a working force field
by
MaestroSartori
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· Score: 5, Funny
Apparently, he was keeping quiet about it until the patent came through...
Re:I've already seen a working force field
by
TopShelf
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· Score: 4, Funny
Be very careful - this sounds like a French spy who's been trapped successfully. Sometimes they try to escape by climbing a rope, so be sure that field has a lid to it...
Re:Force fields have existed for ages
by
CatKnight
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· Score: 2, Funny
"In the olden days, electricity and magnetism were counted as two separate forces (for a total of five), until it was discovered they were two aspects of the same thing (still charges and moving charges), and could be described mathematically in one theory, namely Maxwell's equations. Particle theorists have since combined the weak force with electromagnetism into a single theory called electroweak, so if you count that way there are three forces. Of course, particle theorists are gung-ho about combining all the forces into one huge Grand Unification Theory, which will give us just one force."
Hmm, integrating all of the fundamental forces of the universe into one neat package? Aren't there supposed to be anti-trust laws to prevent this? Bill Gates must be jealous as hell.
-- The Stone Age did not end for lack of stones, and when the oil age ends it will not be for lack of oil. --Bjorn Lomberg
They use the word plasma so many times in the last sentence of the first link, that for some strange reason (closely related to my sense of humor, I'm sure), I'm reminded of Monty Python and Spam:
A much faster, more complex version of a previously introduced "spam window" (see New Scientist, 12 April 2003), the spam valve is the latest example of novel uses of spam for particle-beam applications; other recent ones include spam acceleration of antimatter (Update 634), a spam lens (Update 508), and spam deflection of high-energy beams (Update 540).
Niiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
-- You are checking your backups, aren't you?
Re:Strange Room Temperature
by
Baron_Yam
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· Score: 2, Funny
Silly Americans... still converting to Fahrenheit.;)
RTFA: NOT, NOT, NOT a "force field"
by
1u3hr
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· Score: 5, Funny
1) It's a "plasma valve". Not a force (ie magnetic or something ethereal), the magnetic "force" confines the plasma.
2) The plasma valve is INSIDE a copper container.
If you think this is a "force field" then you might also be interested in the "ray gun" in your television tube.
An interesting story nonetheless, spoiled only by the fatuous ignorance of the submitter and editor.
Re:RTFA: NOT, NOT, NOT a "force field"
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
Oh, and the plasma valve would take your finger off if you touched it. Oh well. This is real life that we're stuck with, after all.
Well, then what you've got there is a *Klingon* force field. Duh!
It's already obsolete
by
jdfox
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· Score: 3, Funny
Because I brought my DINOSAUR! Who EATS force field dogs!
Re:Strange Room Temperature
by
mothrathegreat
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· Score: 2, Funny
I think he probably got the general message after the first 10 people told him he is crap at maths;)
-- Extended Warranty? How can I lose!
Re:Dont try this at home
by
Anonymous Coward
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· Score: 2, Funny
If you tried this in say a jail cell, you would fairly quickly cook the occupant.... if the occupant touched the field, his finger would cease to exist...
Still, i'll take the plasma field over the 6'5" grinning black man with the jar of vaseline in his left hand and 10" in his right.
I suppose next we'll be hearing about a new sort of sci-fi device called a "laser". Perhaps this "laser" can be used with the "force field" to sculpt pictures of world leaders onto the face of the moon...
--Won't that be grand? Computers and the programs will start thinking and the people will stop. - Dr. Walter Gibbs
Re:It's not "degrees Kelvin"!!
by
stoops
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· Score: 2, Funny
you sure it's not "degrees Kelvin"?
i don't know about you, but when someone asks me my height and weight i always say "130 weight units pound" and "70 height units inch".
Re:You are smoking crack
by
Dr.Enormous
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· Score: 5, Funny
Or how about we don't convert away from an absolute temperature scale before dividing things all over the place?
If you convert to C first, you've just assigned an arbitrary zero to the scale and cut off about 90% of room temp, but only about 2% of the force field temp, so of course when you then go dividing by 50 it doesn't work out.
Remember kiddies: arbitrary scales are all well and good for addition and subtraction, but don't go messing around with multiplication and division; you'll end up a pregnant murderer who supports terrorists.
Re:You are smoking crack
by
TheKodiak
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· Score: 2, Funny
How about not being a moron? Would you like an analogous operation? Let's say you're doing.1 kph over the speed limit (which happens to be, say, 30kph) and a guy zooms past you at 60kph. Would it be fair to say he's driving 300 times faster than you are?
Celsius includes an arbitrary constant. If you multiply a celsius measurement, you're multiplying the constant and creating a new scale.
Not that it really makes much sense to say "x is y times hotter than z" in the first place, but at least there are things that scale roughly linearly with Kelvins. Nothing scales linearly with degrees Celsius.
In fact, that's an even better example - I don't think you can follow this one, but other readers might be able to hack it. PV=nRT. So if I have a quantity of gas at -1C, and it occupies 1L of space, and I heat it to 1C - WTF! OMG! I HAVE CREATED FUCKING NEGATIVE SPACE! I AM THE MASTER OF SPACE AND TIME!
Finally, a solution to the "Dad, he keeps touching me!" dilemma.
There was a guy down the street from me who was in a force field. Can't remember his name but he had a black and white striped shirt, white face paint and he didn't speak that much.
Mother, do you think they'll like this sig?
are some borg implants so I can walk through the force field unaffected.
I can think of so many uses for this.
;)
Like keeping PHBs out of the server room?
My journal has hot
or is all its blocking at the moment air? then again 14k kelvin might keep us out.
Finally a decent way to protect your *nix server
from physical contact!
Yipee!
*snicker*
- Don't do what I do, it's probably not healthy nor safe. -
I asked the guy how he did it, but he won't tell me.
Hasn't anyone explained to him the wonders of open force?
-JDF
Yes, but can it stop plasma torps? what about phasers?? :-)
Just read here
They use the word plasma so many times in the last sentence of the first link, that for some strange reason (closely related to my sense of humor, I'm sure), I'm reminded of Monty Python and Spam:
A much faster, more complex version of a previously introduced "spam window" (see New Scientist, 12 April 2003), the spam valve is the latest example of novel uses of spam for particle-beam applications; other recent ones include spam acceleration of antimatter (Update 634), a spam lens (Update 508), and spam deflection of high-energy beams (Update 540).
Niiieeeeeeeeeeeeee!
You are checking your backups, aren't you?
Silly Americans... still converting to Fahrenheit. ;)
2) The plasma valve is INSIDE a copper container.
If you think this is a "force field" then you might also be interested in the "ray gun" in your television tube.
An interesting story nonetheless, spoiled only by the fatuous ignorance of the submitter and editor.
Because I brought my DINOSAUR! Who EATS force field dogs!
Extended Warranty? How can I lose!
If you tried this in say a jail cell, you would fairly quickly cook the occupant. ... if the occupant touched the field, his finger would cease to exist...
Still, i'll take the plasma field over the 6'5" grinning black man with the jar of vaseline in his left hand and 10" in his right.
I suppose next we'll be hearing about a new sort of sci-fi device called a "laser". Perhaps this "laser" can be used with the "force field" to sculpt pictures of world leaders onto the face of the moon...
... does it make that cool "Bzzzzt" sound when you walk into it?
Miko O'Sullivan
you sure it's not "degrees Kelvin"?
i don't know about you, but when someone asks me my height and weight i always say "130 weight units pound" and "70 height units inch".
Or how about we don't convert away from an absolute temperature scale before dividing things all over the place?
If you convert to C first, you've just assigned an arbitrary zero to the scale and cut off about 90% of room temp, but only about 2% of the force field temp, so of course when you then go dividing by 50 it doesn't work out.
Remember kiddies: arbitrary scales are all well and good for addition and subtraction, but don't go messing around with multiplication and division; you'll end up a pregnant murderer who supports terrorists.
How about not being a moron? Would you like an analogous operation? Let's say you're doing .1 kph over the speed limit (which happens to be, say, 30kph) and a guy zooms past you at 60kph. Would it be fair to say he's driving 300 times faster than you are?
Celsius includes an arbitrary constant. If you multiply a celsius measurement, you're multiplying the constant and creating a new scale.
Not that it really makes much sense to say "x is y times hotter than z" in the first place, but at least there are things that scale roughly linearly with Kelvins. Nothing scales linearly with degrees Celsius.
In fact, that's an even better example - I don't think you can follow this one, but other readers might be able to hack it. PV=nRT. So if I have a quantity of gas at -1C, and it occupies 1L of space, and I heat it to 1C - WTF! OMG! I HAVE CREATED FUCKING NEGATIVE SPACE! I AM THE MASTER OF SPACE AND TIME!
-=Best Viewed Using [INLINE]=-
Let me get this right.. you want a picture of a vacuum surrounded by air. Now that sounds like a nice picture.
I've got a good picture of it here.