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IBM Responds To SCO: Business As Usual
Newsforge is running a statement from IBM on its decision not to bow to SCO's demand that they stop shipping AIX. In a statement this short, there's not much room for weaselly language, but the even-shorter version is this: "IBM's Unix license is irrevocable, perpetual and fully paid up. It cannot be terminated."
Fuck off
SCO fires back at IBM, Swears to go to court to collect Damages.
details at 11
_ _ _ Go for the eyes Boo! GO FOR THE EYES!
forever and ever, in spiritu santcum. Amen.
"A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
Just got a mental picture of Big Blue with a big leapord-print hat laying down some pimp hand.
Mod point free since 2001
This whole SCO vs. IBM affair is more entertaining than every daily soap-opera...
can't wait to see the next episode.
I was prepared for the harsh stance IBM was taking, but I wasn't prepared for the ascii middle finger and the "W3 0wnz0r j00 5c0 b10tch" on the bottom.
i'm picturing some kind of weekend, pay-per-view event, where IBM's lawyers square off against SCO's lawyers.
:)
the SCO lawyers will be puny, whiney, and the villians.
the IBM lawyers would all be built like Goldberg and carry lead pipes in. it would be a bloodbath, over in a few minutes, and save us all the legal crap.
let's face it, SCO is going to get bitch slapped hard by IBM at this point. they're trying to play hardball and up until now IBM has pretty much ignored them. however, like a fly that bites i have a feeling they're about to get swatted back into nothingness.
i guess courtTV needs their drama too.
The companies had engaged in brief but unfruitful discussions, SCO said last week.
The call, intercepted by an unnamed source, went like this:
Operator: Thank you for calling IBM. How may I direct your call?
SCO: Mr. Palmisano, please.
Operator: May I tell him who's calling?
SCO: Darl McBride, CEO of SCO
Operator: Oh, you again. *pause* He is still not taking your call. Would you like his voice mail?
SCO: *sigh* Sure.
[Flush][laughter]*click*
...IBM pisses REALLY hard on SCOs shoes....
Steve
hey geeks, didja hear that? SCO called Captain Kirk a wimp, you feeling riled?" Well, riled we are...
Screw you IBM, Picard rules!!
Scene: SCO's balls are tightly wrapped in electrical tape and SCO is lying on the floor...
SCO: Dddddon't hurt me!!
IBM: We ship your clothes, complete your financial transactions, know your insurance info... WE GUARD YOUR DATA WHILE YOU SLEEP, DO NOT FUCK WITH US!
Just you wait, he's just going to fade away in a few weeks. No one will know where he went until some fisherman finds his cement shoes in a net one day.
"When I am king, you will be first against the wall..."
Translation:
IBM: <yawn> <glances over shoulder> Oh, SCO? You still there? Eh, fuck off, will you? <goes back to sleep>
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
A SCO janitor just walked onto one of the floors to clean it. Oh no wait! Ipswich from Accounting is opening a drawer! What's this, more news?!?!? Yes it is, the A/C unit just kicked in for the second floor. My this is exciting! Hold the phone, yet more developments! Apparently the new intern just stretched her arms!!!!
See SCO.
See SCO lie.
See stocks fly.
Fly stocks, fly!
See Gartner blow.
SCO stocks grow!
Grow stocks! Grow!
See Novell.
See Novell smack,
Smack SCO! Smack!
See IBM.
See IBM laugh.
SCO lawyers barf.
SCO stocks cut in half.
See SCO.
See SCO whine.
SCO says "It's mine!"
See IBM.
IBM puts foot down.
SCO execs start to drown.
Drown SCO, drown!
When this goes to trial I hope I get jury duty.
"Do you know what Unix is?"
No
"Do you know what Linux is?"
No
"Do you know who SCO is?"
No
"Do you know what IBM does?"
Ummmm they make typewriters?
"Ok, you are on."
Bwuahahahahah
I filtered Caldera so I don't have to see all of these stories and here's one slipping through.
The SCO section you speak of would quickly be obselete. It is probably not worth the effort.
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
Point by point translation:
SCO, shut up or put up.
Just who do you think you are?
Fuck off.
Another non-functioning site was "uncertainty.microsoft.com."
The purpose of that site was not known.
"Bite my shiney blue ass, meatbags"
Man, this is going to be fun.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Go for the eyes Blue! Go for the eyes!!!
This space for rent, inquire within.
i`ve never seen a real-life showdown like this over the internet. this is the kinda shit the non-geek ppl don`t know about, we're priviliged that we do!
:D
i can`t tell u all how much i want to grab some popcorn and watch lawyers fight it out by cutting eachother with papercuts from legal doucments, wooooo!
i`m supporting SCO... i like supporting under-dogs
WTF is a sig?
It's gonna be like a wet tshirt competition, but without the tshirts.
heh.
There are 10 kinds of people; those who know ternary, those who don't, and those now hunting for a dictionary.
"IBM's Unix license is irrevocable, perpetual and fully paid up. It cannot be terminated. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It does not feel pity, remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you are dead."
Well, this would be prosecuted, thanks to the Bush administration's sincere stance against corporate crime.
Oh, wait...
Gates' Law: Every 18 months, the speed of software halves.
We have been reporting endlessly for weeks that a skinny field mouse, obviously starving slowly to death, has been madly dragging at the claws and kicking the feet of a bengal tiger, in an apparent attempt to beat the sleeping beast within an inch of its life and steal its larder.
Today's update: The mouse bounded upon the tiger's face and kicked it in the lips. In response, the tiger slowly and barely opened one eye, and fixed the mouse firmly in its gaze.
More updates as the situation warrants.
TERRORISTS ALSO BREATHE AIR! Let's take this war to mother nature.
"How about I give you the finger, and you go the hell away."
It sounds like a chalenge but what a great way to go.
If you are about to quit and you have access to some company account (petty cash will do) then go and spend it all on 5,000 cpies of OS/2 or something equally as stupid.
Imagine the fame for being the firsrt person to be fired for buying IBM.
Mouse powered Chips, Open source Processors and Lego
Sontag is wrong if he thinks that US govt will help because Linux is used by terrorists, since Linux is also used by NASA, Pentagon etc. It would have been different matter if he had said that Linux is used by Al Gore....
OSX isn't unix, right? ;-)
Yeah, maybe Google or Yahoo or some internet company will become the next evil empire. Evil companies are always cute when they are still a young pup.
AOL already missed their shot as the big bad, since they are currently imploding.
These guys are into some realy good weed. I wonder who their source is? Even a nickel box of this stuff
would keep you going for a week.
You want fries with that?
IBM will continue to ship, support and develop AIX which represents years of IBM innovation, hundreds of millions of dollars of investment and many patents. As always, IBM will stand behind our products and our customers.
# # #
Trink Guarino
Director, IBM Media Relations
PS. Nyah Nyah Nyah
That about covers it.
You're confused. SCO is suing IBM, not Microsoft.
SCO: All your [code] base are belong to us!
Half of Slashdot will get laid before this resolves itself.
>But when did IBM become an ally?
>
When Tux got command of his customized BIG BLUE TANK from Project AKO!
The court also finds that IBM is SCO's "daddy", and instructs SCO's legal counsel and executive management to "say it, biatch".
the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
I wonder how many gigs of text documents would have to be prensented.
IBM today announced the completion of the world's fastest legal team: Blue Thunder which was jointly developed by the U.S. Energy Department's Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, Harvard University and IBM. Blue Thunder can perform 3.9 trillion lawsuits per second (15,000 times faster than the average IP law firm) and has over 2.6 trillion bytes of high-tech patents to work with (80,000 times more than the average Wall Street tort artist). It would take a lawyer using a small office of secretaries 63,000 years to perform as many legal actions as this team can perform in a single second.
Let's see, IBM buys AT&T and terminates SCO's license
... against corporate crime, executives are getting caught, exposed and tossed in jail. I'm suprised you didn't know that. It's been in all of the papers.
Watching Cowboy Bebop in my jammies, eating a bowl of Shreddies.
Somebody earned their paycheck. ;-)
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
if you're going to insert any type of a character-set when referring to IBM, you should use EBCDIC.
... hi bingo
- I must admit, I used to not think SCO had a case, but now it's starting to look like they do have a very good one.
I hope you don't change answers on multiple choice tests -- you demonstrate an uncanny ability to think yourself out of a correct answer.-- @rjamestaylor on Ello
" IBM could of course just buy SCO and get rid of the problem quickly."
But where would be the fun in that? The IBM legal department has been twiddling their thumbs for about a decade or two and are really looking for justification for their budget allotment. They need something to do.
I think you added an extra `m' to your statement. SCO is run by Morons, not Mormons.
Achille Talon
Hop!
He's that Ziggy Stardust guy, right?
All I can is say is that SCO must have a terminal brain fart. I know that Texas Instruments reversed their sagging fortunes by enforcing patents and suing companies. I guess that SCO thinks they can do that too.
I had to administer a SCO box at a former employer, and all I can say is that it was the least friendly UNIXes I've ever dealt with. I say goodbye to SCO and good riddance.
In defense of SCO, we'd all be cheering them on if they were suing Microsoft, and I'd bet we'd try to find some justification for it and cheer them on. Note to SCO--If you survive, go after Microsoft! Oh wait! You are probably their patsy. Er that's Microsoft Patsyâ. Never mind.
"You'll get nothing, and you'll like it!"
You're getting out of your car with your briefcase and your bag of groceries and you have this eerie feeling you're forgetting something important. You stand up and reach for the door and give it a shove. As the door careens toward closure, that little switch in your brain flips and that little voice starts screaming "Take it back! Take it back! Your keys are in there!!!" In an instant, your body wretches trying to catch the car door closing but to no avail. That little voice in your head then says "Awww shit, you really fucked up now, and you're beyond the point of no return."
And the time all this takes is called an Ohnosecond, boys and girls.
Because:
void sue(infidel){
throw LegalTarPit();
}
IBM: What does YOUR code looks like?
SCO: What?
IBM, pointing his gun: Say "what" again. SAY "WHAT" AGAIN! I dare you, I double dare you, motherf***er! Say "what" one more goddamn time!
SCO: You s-s-stoleee my source code...
IBM: Go on.
SCO: I w-w-want YOUR m-m-money...
IBM: Do I look like a bitch?
SCO: What?
[IBM shoots SCO in the shoulder]
IBM: DO I LOOK LIKE A BItCH!?
SCO: NO!
IBM: Then why you trying to f*** ME like a bitch, SCO?
SCO: I didn't!
IBM: Yes you did. Yes you did, SCO. You tried to f*** ME. And I don't like to be f***ed by anybody, except by Micro$oft.
Two words: GNU Hurd.