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SCO Amends Suit, Clarifies "Violations", Triples Damages
Bootsy Collins writes "This evening on C|Net contains three new items. First, they've upped the damages they're seeking to $3 billion. Second, they claim that by making SMP technology generally available through Linux, IBM violated federal export controls and thus breached their contract with SCO through committing an illegal act. Finally, they elaborate on one specific technology they claim rights to which IBM inserted into the 2.5 kernel series -- the
read-copy update memory management features which went in at 2.5.43.
Unclear is why SCO thinks they have the rights to RCU, since the technology was originally developed by Sequent in the early 1990s."
In Unix, a zero length file is a valid shell script, that has an exit value of true. Thus, here is the whole program copied --
"There are two major products that come from Berkeley : LSD and UNIX. We don't believe this to be a coincidence." -- Jeremy S. Anderson
Soon SCO will claim ownership for LSD too
09 F9 11 02 9D 74 E3 5B D8 41 56 C5 63 56 88 C0
Heck, why settle there? While were at it, why don't we ask for 30 billion? I mean if your going to make a spectacle, why not achieve high?
30 billion? 300 billion? 3 trillion?
Cmon SCO, make those claims WORTH something!
Think nothing is impossible? Try slamming a revolving door.
Three times nothing is still nothing.
On behalf of the /. crowd, I am formally requesting that the Caldera/SCO widget be changed to a steaming pile of poo.
We feel that this is more appropriate.
Sincerely, /.
I think i speak for everyone when i say:
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH MUAHAHAHA -gasp- MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH
Next they'll be getting the U.N. involved!
Steve
...on grounds of comedy. This is starting to turn into an old Looney Tunes cartoon, where the SCO Coyote throws everything but the Acme kitchen sink at the IBM Roadrunner. Meep meep!
Dude, where's my packet?
$3 billion ? Sounds like the evil empire from Austin Powers. Stupid COrp.
Hmm - five - six more articles maybe, and SCO will become the most posted/hated OS on Slashdot?
/. ;)
I wonder how Bill Gates will take losing the "Number One" spot here at
_ _ _ Go for the eyes Boo! GO FOR THE EYES!
Yeah no shit. I'm awaiting the day that SCO claims that Osama himself has submitted patches to the kernel and that Alan Cox colaborated with Saddam Hussain in the mid 90's.
Admittedly, I wouldn't mind seeing D'ohl McBride stood in a street corner shouting idiotic nonsense at passers by. At least then his actions would be socialy unacceptable and the authorities could lock him up. It seems that it is perfectly O.K to act like a paranoid loon if you're a CEO and your conspiricy theories are printed in an international news outlet. Then its O.K
If you were an SCO employee, would you feel at least a little concerned that your boss is aparently dilusional? I know I would.
I see your 3 billion and raise you two more. Show your cards...
My rights don't need management.
FUD champagne? Is that the kind with scary bubbles?
So IBM is helping terrorists and rogue states now? I think we need an addition to Godwin's Law - "As a dispute goes on, the probability of one side claiming the other is helping terrorists approaches one"
It's like playing the Kevin Bacon game! Can you claim IBM broke your license agreement in less than 7 hops? Yes? Well then you've got a case. Sad. It's just sad.
Fear trumps hope and ignorance trumps both
I'm sorry to hear that, but I'm still loving it. I especially liked the bit about exporting to axis of evil countries, and the weaponisation of linux. And doubling the claim just when things are getting hairy for them. It's like a failed poker player trying to pull off the biggest bluff in history, when everyone knows he's only got a pair. When this goes to court, it'll be hillarious. Go SCO!
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
SCOicide : to destroy your company by finding the biggest target imaginable and wielding a non-existent IP portfolio in their face in the hope of making easy cash.
I don't think it's an unfair suppository to make at all that Microsoft is viewing this as a high-risk low-cost gamble on SCO winning this fight.
I hate those unfair suppositories, especially from Microsoft.
I always knew Bill Gates was trying to shove something up my bunghole.
"My God...It's full of ads!" -Fry, about the Internet, Futurama
Like that matters! All you need to know is (repeat after me) SCO bad; Linux good. SCO bad; Linux good.
"The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it." -- Ayn Rand
Translation of the next obfuscated memo to come out of IBM:
No, seriously, you need to fuck off now. It's not funny anymore.
Cyde Weys Musings - Scrutinizing the inscrutable
But that doesn't apply to parodies... so maybe IBM just released a "parody" of System V, eh?
You can only fight insanity with insanity.
"It's better to have a gun and not need it than need a gun and not have it." ~ Christian Slater, True Romance
Who else very recently made the Linux kernel freely available to any foreign party including terrorists, communists and all three vertices of the Axis of Evil?
Hmmm?
Could it be .... SCO!!!???
Didn't they do the due dilligence to see if the capabilities that they were distributing were exportable under U.S. law? Looks like they didn't, and now OBL himself could very well be running Caldera Linux on the Beowulf cluster in his cave simulating thermonuclear explosions.
In SCO's last 10-Q, it claimed roughly $35M of earnings for the last six months.. So, lets just say they do $70M a year. That makes this suit the equivlant of aprox 42 years of earnings at SCO's current rate. [Insert Douglas Adams joke here]
--
Comments from my blog at MemeStreams
- My Blog - http://www.memestreams.net/users/rattle/
SCO upps damages to 6 billion - citing IBM's illegal use of 'international business machines' acroynm which they thought up first.
Damages go up to 15 trillion when SCO discovers that gravity and other basic laws of the Universe which IBM has been using to build servers formed a basis for SCO's machines first.
Finally, SCO ups damages to (quoting here) "forty bazillion-kabillion" for "having a successful business," which is what SCO was planning to do but couldn't because of IBM.
It should be noted that this last figure was given just before the Executive board collectively passed out after coming down dangerously from a hallucenagic high caused by dry-erase markers, non-dairy creamer, pez, and possibly other office-related recreational drugs.
Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
IBM are a superpower of villains. They are superpower of Al Capone. These cowards have no morals - they have no shame about lying. We will slaughter them all
Mohammed al-Sahaf (now SCO press spokesman)
Former Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
http://boston.com/business/tech_innovation/news/20 03/06/17/sco_ibm.htm
President: "Ha ha ha! 100 Billion dollars? That's like asking for a bajillion trillion!"
Dr. Evil: "C'mon, Mr. President, show me the money."
Scott: "You're a moron."
It's like hiring the Three Stooges to fix your plumbing. Yeah, we'll *triple* the damages! Nyuck Nyuck Nyuck.
My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
Redesigning Linux for use by demanding business customers "is not technologically feasible or even possible at the enterprise level without (a) a high degree of design coordination, (b) access to expensive and sophisticated design and testing equipment; (c) access to Unix code and development methods; (d) Unix architectural experience; and (e) a very significant financial investment," the amended suit says.
SCO: They built a better OS using so-called open source methods? Inconceivable!
IBM: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Moderating "-1, Disagree" is simple censorship. Have the guts to post your opinion.
ScaryBubbles? If that's not a developmental kernel codename, I don't know what is. Of course, the full power of the open source community will probably come up with something much more pointed and insulting than that...
So what you're saying is that after reading all the legal briefs and filings in the case, after studying all the evidence from both sides, based upon your expert knowledge of the law, (I'm assuming you're a lawyer who specalizes in this specific area) you don't see any LEGAL basis for their lawsuit???
I mean, I just want to clarify exactly what you're saying here, just so I understand you.
All the best,
--Bob
From what I understand: you can download Linux from SCO's FTP site
I think: wouldn't that mean SCO themselves are also breaking any export restrictions if IBM were?
I recommend Ashcroft look over SCO's FTP logs for binladen@cave.com and shussein@iraq.com
[Raise pinky]
[Dr. Evil]
$3 billion dollars
[/Dr. Evil]
[/Raise pinky]
Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.
Penguin tastes a lot like spotted owl. Mmmm.
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
Dear Mr. Palmisano:
I have become aware of a litigious situation between your company and that of Darl McBride (SCO). In your pending defense against their lawsuit(s) I would like to recommend to you that I, NMG be your sole defense attorney. I am not on your legal defense team, nor am I actually a lawyer. I am merely a reader of Slashdot. SCOâ(TM)s claimâ(TM)s of damages are so ludicrous, I believe that even a troop of Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s could provide you proper defense. Unfortunately for you, the Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s were already hired out for the year by the Federal Trade Commission. Therefore, I extend an offer of my services for your legal defense in return for a pack of smokes, a ThinkPad and a chance to punch SCO in the kisser. This union will save you a bundle of money in defense feeâ(TM)s and will save your legal resources for your pending investigation with the horde of Screaming Monkeyâ(TM)s. Thank you for your time.
Sincerely,
NMG
come on everyone together now:
Oh the weather outsides delightful.
And McBride is surely frightful.
In case you didnt know
Bite me SCO, Bite me SC0, Bite me SCO.
Well, the SCO boys are surely crazy,
Too much crack makes their intellects lazy.
In case you didnt know:
Bite me SCO, Bite me SCO, Bite me SCO.
When we finally go to court,
How I hate dressing up for the day,
But if Blue really gets real mad.
you will just get blown AWAY.
Oh the weather outsides delightful.
And McBride is surely frightful.
In case you didnt know
Bite me SCO, Bite me SC0, Bite me SCO.
"To do is to be" - Socrates.
"To be is to do" - Plato.
"Do be do be do" - Sinatra.
"Please pass the doobie" - Darl McBride.
Lump lingered last in line for brains, and the ones she got were sorta rotten and insane.
You know. I've got two nice SCO golf shirts that used to be some of my most treasured posessions and I wore them with pride a couple of years back.
Now, I want to throw them away and if someone should stop me in the street and ask if I know SCO, I would lie like a Judas and exclaim never to have heard of the company.Hell, I wouldn't even put it on my CV anymore! This is really sad. At least I can continue to wear my "Geek by Nature, Linux by choice" T-shirt with even more pride! It doesn't fit so well anymore though...
"I used to have that really cool,funny sig
Is that why the floating green monkeys keep quoting Satre today? I knew that seemed out of character for them.
I'm sorry, technical difficulties prevented the translation in Cavemanese. That was, in fact, the English version.
One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
"Remember - SCO's not claiming patent infringement, they're claiming copyright violation."
SCOs claims seem to change faster than I can type a sentence. By the time I press submit the claim may well have become that Linux contains ASCII art animal porn.
Who knows what those wacky guys will come up with next?
The SCO folks thought it said "History is written by the wieners", and of course, they're the biggest bunch of wieners around.
It was a joke! When you give me that look it was a joke.
We have now identified lots of code copied source from our precious SCO Unix.
Here are 2 of the worst offending code snippets:
Please look at our SCO-Unix code, you will see how shamelessly those lines were copied:
And there are 58 other lines of shamelessly copied source code in Linux. Our marketing department has calculated that each line of code is worth 50,000,000 $ which translates to an average of about 10,000,000$ per character. We have found copied characters worth of 5,693,340,000,000 $ in the Linux source code, however, because we are generous, we only insist on the fully copied lines of code. However, if IBM doesn't pay, we might be forced to demand the full amount.
But for now, I only demand IBM to pay 3,000,000,000 $ within 2 weeks to this account:
account holder: Barl McDride
account no: 4239573204
Royal Cayman Bank
134 Ocean Boulevard, Cayman Islands
Every week of delay will cause another 1,000,000,000 $ due to lost sales, mental stress and other damages which have to be paid to the same account, so please pay quickly, or else.
Sincirely, your pal
Darl McBride
SCOs claims seem to change faster than I can type a sentence. By the time I press submit the claim may well have become that Linux contains ASCII art animal porn.
Who knows what those wacky guys will come up with next? </quote>
Oh, great. Now you've given them the idea of copyrighting the goatse.cx man in ascii art, copying it into their source, changing the file dates, and suing about half of all /. posters :-(
SCO in court:
Q: What does this section of code do?
A: It's for catching bad pointers.
Q: And it's in your original SCO Unix code?
A: Yes. Look at the comments (referring to ascii goatse.cx artwork). It means you're badly f$cked up.
I'm glad I'm an American, I'm glad I'm free,
I wish I were a dog and SCO was a tree.
DMCA, Hollings, Palladium. What might have sounded like paranoia is now common sense.
Well I'm English so as a country I hearby give notice that all people in the world who are using English are breaking copyright and all derivative works (including technical specifications and patent applications) are now owned by the UK Goverment.
We are also claiming Charles Babbage and all derivative works that involve computation and concepts of automated computing.
Unfortunately the Iraqi's are now claiming that they invented writing, the Chinese are laying claim to printing and basically everyone on without a 2,000 year+ history is screwed.
An Eye for an Eye will make the whole world blind - Gandhi
I'll come clean. IBM didn't put it there... It was me.
I love it when the news media expecially on the internet writes articles and title's them differently everytime they add a paragraph and update the report.
Too bad we can't get them to do it the right way, with version numbers and ReadMe's stating changes since the previous version.
If I were a CEO of barely breathing tech company in the midst of a shakeout, I'd consider accumulating a few million shares of my company thru an off-shore broker when everybody is puking them out. Pick them up quietly, like gathering apples as they fall from the tree. Then, file some outgeous suit against some deep pocket, wait for the shares to multiply by 20-30 times, call my broker on payphone using a phone card purchased a gas station, and head for the islands. But, I'm not in that position....
Planning meeting in Dr. Evil's lair.
.... ozone layer
Dr.Evil:
Number Two: That already happend.
Dr.Evil: Sh.t! Oh well, let's draft some frivolous lawsuit and sue the world's biggest computer company for...
ONE MILLION DOLLARS!
Number Two: *cough* Don't you think we should ask for more?
Dr.Evil: OK. And sue them for ONE BILLION DOLLARS!
Or heck, make it three.
Good.
Hyperom.com
Kind of like this...
Resume for Albrecht Speer
Previous experience:
1923-1925: Architekt, Reichstag
1925-1927: Head designer, Deutsches Bundeswerk
1927-1931: Factory Designer, Porsche
1931-1945: Unemployed.
(Yes, I made up the history so don't bother...)
-Looking for a job as a materials chemist or multivariat
It didn't work so well for H. Ross Perot. :)
-- lk t lv ll th vwls t f wrds. T svs lts f tm t wrt bt ts pn n th ss t rd nd mks m lk lk cmplt dpsht.
I can only hope any deal involving an IBM buyout of SCO will include a claude mandating that SCO executives be anally violated with some ungodly large peice of IBM hardware as compensation for putting everyone through this bullshit.
--
Intelligence is definitely a recessive trait.
Get it right o.k.
/. is atrocous....
shesshhh spelling on
the 17% solution only makes sense if SCO has a minimal chance of winning the suit and gettint a reasonable percentage of what they're claiming. Right now, they're suing IBM for GPL'ing a piece of code that (as far as I can tell) was created by a sequent -> IBM employee (and, I presume, assigned to Sequent then transferred to IBM).
This is my quick summary of the SCO conversation:
Free Software: Like love, it grows best when given away.
Yeah, but he claimed ninjas were out to get him.
SCOs claims are much closer to pirates, and we all know pirates are cooler than ninjas.
I like you, Stuart. You're not like everyone else, here, at Slashdot.
Q: HOW DO I KNOW WHEN AN ANIMAL HAS RIGHTS?
The general rule is as follows:
IF AN ANIMAL IS RARE, PRETTY, BIG, CUTE, FURRY,
HUGGABLE, OR LOVABLE, THEN IT HAS RIGHTS.
Examine the following chart:
RIGHTS NO RIGHTS
-------- -----------
cows cockroaches
cute bunnies flies
dolphins in tuna nets tuna in tuna nets
whales sharks
red squirrels gray squirrels
owls loggers
harbor seals barnacles
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix. /msg atnt haha. idiot. :~(
. html?thread=2531787
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell>
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI>
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
From : http://www.livejournal.com/community/linux/397771
Model M keyboard.
Need I say more?
Note to M1-ers: a curt but otherwise insightful message is not "Flamebait" or "Troll".
I doubt any employee of SCO is under the delusion that Darl McBride is a prophet...
Don't give him ideas, man! :)
Found this little gem on Spot's LiveJournal Account:
/msg atnt haha. idiot. :~(
Repeated here to avoid slashdot affect:
Topic in #os: hey guyz, stop pickin on irix.
<SCO> w00t! i bought unix! im gonna b so rich!
<novell>
<novell> whoops. was that out loud?
<atnt> rotfl
<ibm> lol
<SCO> why r u laffin at me?
<novell> dude, unix is so 10 years ago. linux is in now.
<SCO> wtf?
<SCO> hey guyz, i bought caldera, I have linux now.
<red_hat> haha, your linux sucks.
<novell> lol
<atnt> lol
<ibm> lol
<SCO> no wayz, i will sell more linux than u!
<ibm> your linux sucks, you should look at SuSE
<SuSE> Ja. Wir bilden gutes Linux für IBM.
<SCO> can we do linux with you?
<SuSE> Ich bin nicht sicher...
<ibm> *cough*
<SuSE> Gut lassen Sie uns vereinigen.
* SuSE is now SuSE[UL]
* SCO is now caldera[UL]
<turbolinux> can we play?
<conectiva> we're bored... we'll go too.
<ibm> sure!
* turbolinux is now turbolinux[UL]
* conectiva is now conectiva[UL]
<ibm> redhat: you should join!
<SuSE[UL]> Ja! Wir sind vereinigtes Linux. Widerstand ist vergeblich.
<red_hat> haha. no.
<red_hat> lamers.
<ibm> what about you debian?
<debian> we'll discuss it and let you know in 5 years.
<caldera[UL]> no one wants my linux!
<turbolinux[UL]> i got owned.
<caldera[UL]> u all tricked me. linux is lame.
* caldera[UL] is now known as SCO
<SCO> i'm going back to unix.
<SGI> yeah! want to do unix with me?
<SCO> haha. no. lamer.
<novell> lol
<ibm> snap!
<SGI>
<SCO> hey, u shut up. im gonna sue u ibm.
<ibm> wtf?
<SCO> yea, you stole all the good stuff from unix.
<red_hat> lol
<SuSE[UL]> heraus laut lachen
<ibm> lol
<SCO> shutup. i'm gonna email all your friends and tell them you suck.
<ibm> go ahead. baby.
<SCO> andandand... i revoke your unix! how do you like that?
<ibm> oh no, you didn't. AIX is forever.
<novell> actually, we still own unix, you can't do that.
<SCO> wtf? we bought it from u.
<novell> whoops. our bad.
<SCO> i own u. haha
<SCO> ibm: give me all your AIX now!
<ibm> whatever. lamer.
* ibm sets mode +b SCO!*@*
* SCO has been kicked from #os (own this.)
Ben, you've become an UberGeek! Take me as your padawan!!!
From an interview [byte.com]with Chris Sontag, SCO's Senior Vice President in Byte. Sounds more like Donad Rumsfeld than Mohammed al-Sahaf.
Either way you're talking about a delusional maniac spewing lies anyone with a scrap of sense knows are crap.