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Using Sling Shot Power to Hurl Into Orbit

the_2nd_coming writes "space.com has an article about a new application of a very old technology. NASA is putting money into Momentum-eXchange/Electrodynamic Reboost tether technology -- MXER for short -- an innovative concept that if implemented would station miles and miles of cart-wheeling cable in orbit around the Earth. Then, rotating like a giant sling, the cable would swoop down and pick up spacecraft in low orbits, then hurl them to higher orbits or even lob them onward to other planets."

44 of 310 comments (clear)

  1. the bad boys of science. by sweeney37 · · Score: 4, Funny

    The key scientists behind this project are Dr. Bartholemew J. Simpson and Dr. Dennis "The Menace" Mitchell.

    Mike

    1. Re:the bad boys of science. by MouseR · · Score: 2, Funny

      any reference to the simpsons is given +funny automagically

      I didn't do it.

  2. Hmmmm by jeffkjo1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Dennis the Mennis apparently grew up and got a job at NASA!

  3. Or perhaps by 1984 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Swoop down and clobber spacecraft in lower orbits, smashing them into tiny pieces that could go one to clobber other spacecraft. Or perhaps larger pieces that re enter in fiery displays of wasted millions.

    Or it might work. That'd be something.

  4. hm... interesting possibilities... by Wakko+Warner · · Score: 5, Funny

    I once used sling shot power to hurl little rocks at my neighbor's cat. Used the middle finger from a rubber kitchen glove, a cut-apart 2-liter soda bottle, and a pipe clamp.

    If they built one of those in space, they'd be able to scare the shit out of my neighbor's cat.

    - A.P.

    --
    "Remember when the U.S. had a drug problem, and then we declared a War On Drugs, and now you can't buy drugs anymore?"
    1. Re:hm... interesting possibilities... by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

      I once [made a] sling shot....Used the middle finger from a rubber kitchen glove

      Bet your mom was pissed that dish soap ruined her commute-finger.

  5. Obligitory... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    In SOVIET RUSSIA, the slingshots fire you.

  6. Great, just great... by loucura! · · Score: 3, Funny

    Alien species put up huge fences to keep us outside of their garden, and now we're going to be shooting stuff at them...

    [Dennis the Menace]

    Hey Mr. Freeeblgwaaxx!1

    [/Dennis]

    --
    Black and grey are both shades of white.
  7. DOS? by stoolpigeon · · Score: 4, Funny

    "the ultimate dos-Ã-dos swing machine."

    I know the caption says it uses old technology- but I'm not trusting my space flight to something that runs on DOS.

    --
    It's hard to believe that's how Micronians are made. Why don't we see it right now by having you both kiss one another?
  8. Fishnets!!! by petronivs · · Score: 4, Funny

    "It's sort-of like a one-hundred kilometer long fish-net stocking in space, only it's incredibly strong, and it can withstand many years of bombardment by orbital debris," Hoyt said



    Say, if they make these smaller, maybe I won't have to keep buying pantyhose for my girlfriend!

    --
    This is the real signature
    (Beats those shadows on the cave wall, don't it?)
    1. Re:Fishnets!!! by overshoot · · Score: 5, Funny
      Say, if they make these smaller, maybe I won't have to keep buying pantyhose for my girlfriend!

      They last longer if you take them off first.

      --
      Lacking <sarcasm> tags, /. substitutes moderation as "Troll."
    2. Re:Fishnets!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Reminds me of an old joke.

      A young couple was in the backseat of the car. The boy says, "If I'd known you were a virgin, I'd have taken more time." To which she replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I'd have taken my pantyhose off!"

    3. Re:Fishnets!!! by Archangel+Michael · · Score: 2, Funny

      Anyone get what is wrong with this post?

      Yup, the girlfriend.

      --
      Agent K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, stupid, panicky animals, and you know it.
    4. Re:Fishnets!!! by Guppy06 · · Score: 2, Funny

      "maybe I won't have to keep buying pantyhose for my girlfriend!"

      "Girlfriend?" That may be what you tell the cashier, but we know better.

  9. Not while I'm aboard... by freeze128 · · Score: 4, Funny

    I don't think I would enjoy getting smacked upside the spacecraft by a cable going 25,000 MPH faster than me.

    Can anyone say whiplash?

  10. Also by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    When probes from outer space attack the earth, we can use the slingshot to go back in time to retrieve the exact species of whale they're trying to contact!

    1. Re:Also by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      In the 1950's they thought that we would have nuclear and ionic space ship engines by now. Imagine their expression when someone from the 50's wakes up from a cryogenic sleep to instead see a giant slingshot aimed into space.

      "Damn! I told that egghead to set it to 2005, not 1905."

  11. With support of ACME Inc.? by OrangeGoo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Slingshots never worked out very well for the Coyote. Doesn't anyone pay attention to the great value of cartoons? Sheesh... how many boulders must fall on the heads of coyotes before someone gets it?

    On the other hand, rockets never worked for the Coyote either... maybe NASA is on to something! Is it possible... could cartoons be... unrealistic? Noooooo!

    1. Re:With support of ACME Inc.? by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

      I ordered an ACME slingshot once and used it on my face. Boy did it hurt! Fortunately, my sister shouted, "It is ACME, not ACNE you dumbass dweeb!"

    2. Re:With support of ACME Inc.? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Slingshots never worked out very well for the Coyote. Doesn't anyone pay attention to the great value of cartoons? Sheesh... how many boulders must fall on the heads of coyotes before someone gets it?

      On the other hand, rockets never worked for the Coyote either... maybe NASA is on to something! Is it possible... could cartoons be... unrealistic? Noooooo!


      I've always said that two rockets and a big fuel tank strapped to another rocket was a design that could have only come from a cartoon coyote.

  12. Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase by drgroove · · Score: 2, Funny

    "you've got your ass in a sling now!"

  13. Rotational Momentum? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Won't using the earth's rotational momentum like that take energy from the earth to give to the spaceship? Hell, after a couple hundred thousand launches our days might be an hour longer. THIS IS PREPOSTEROUS!

  14. Hurl into orbit? by Columbo · · Score: 5, Funny

    Gives new meaning to "Projectile Vomiting".

    Heh. Alright, I'll go away now.

  15. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  16. Pedantic note ... by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... "sling" != "slingshot". They're two completely different things. Conflating the two is kind of like calling a canvas-sided trailer with some rusty tanks and piping a "weapon of mass destruction."

    --
    The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
    1. Re:Pedantic note ... by hansroy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Conflating the two is kind of like calling a canvas-sided trailer with some rusty tanks and piping a "weapon of mass destruction."

      Worked for Bush

  17. Obligatory... by Lane.exe · · Score: 5, Funny
    Meep meep.

    --
    IAALS.
  18. Re:Degrading Orbit by heli0 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Easy. Launch another sling above it...

    --
    Whenever the offence inspires less horror than the punishment, the rigour of penal law is obliged to give way...
  19. Re:not a sling shot by proj_2501 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Chill out man, I'm just trying to make some karma same as everybody else.

  20. Another fine product... by Rorschach1 · · Score: 3, Funny

    This thing doesn't happen to say 'ACME' on the side, does it?

  21. Next Up -- Patented Childhood Memories by Eberlin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Heat things with a giant magnifying lens until the object smokes or pops. Nope

    Shoot bb guns at stop signs (not lights). Nope

    Slingshots...that's taken.

    Blow darts with straws and paper...hmmm, yes, giant air pressure pipe to launch space capsules into orbit.

    Anyone know a good modernized implementation of pouring salt on snails?

  22. DON'T DO IT! by Xzzy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't these guys know anything about thermodynamics?!

    By launching a ship in this fashion, they will be STEALING momentum from the earth's rotation, degrading the planet's equilibrium and ultimately destroying the orbit and sending us to a firey death in the sun!

    This is obviously a "plan B" coming from those same wackos who want to send the moon crashing into earth by harnessing the energy in the tides.

  23. Re:Been there, done that by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    >>And, in fact, Tethers Unlimited, the company proposing this beast,

    Damn. I read that at Titties Unlimited, the company proposing the breast,

    I really, really need to get some lovin. Soon.

  24. Too late - the Elbonians have already tried it. by tdelaney · · Score: 0, Funny

    I'd give a link to the correct Dilbert strip, but don't have time to find it before I go to work.

  25. Re:not a sling shot by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    A sling shot is not the same as a sling....A sling uses the sudden stop of centripedal force.


    Shut up! You are ruining our jokes, Bastard!

  26. woot by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    A giant space trebuchet.

    Let the siege of Mars begin!

  27. Re:What I don't get... by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    This thing is going to transfer momentum to the space craft it is boosting, right? Where is it getting it from? Something has to get that cable spinning,

    A giant U-shaped magnet from ACME, of course.

  28. Swing Low... by Mu*puppy · · Score: 3, Funny


    Swing low, sweet NASA slingshot,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars;
    Swing low, sweet NASA slingshot,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars.

    I looked over low orbit,
    And WHAT did I see,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars,
    A band of "Hoytether" comin' after me,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars.

    Swing low, sweet NASA slingshot,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars;
    Swing low, sweet NASA slingshot,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars.

    If you get there before I do,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars,
    Tell all my friends I'm being slung too,
    Comin' for to launch me to Mars.

    --
    There's no wrong way, to eat a Rhesus...
  29. Runs in the family by Tablizer · · Score: 2, Funny

    Goliath's future relative in Houston walks outside to pick up the morning paper, and SWWWOOOOCK!!!

  30. Acme + Coyote = Space Propulsion by bastion · · Score: 2, Funny

    WOW!

    Wasn't this theory widely in use by a certain coyote?

    If memory serves (which it usually does just for someone else) he used the rubber bands first and rockets second, we seem to be at odds with the Acme Lab theories on propulsion.

    Everything you need to know you learned from Looney Toons (even that crossdressing habit you try to hide)

  31. Two great tastes that don't go great together by Daetrin · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...when orbital mechanics go awry...

    "You plastered your Teather System across my Space Elevator!"

    "You got your Space Elevator caught in my Teather System!"

    --
    This Space Intentionally Left Blank
  32. Yeah I just saw this on TV by neophenix · · Score: 2, Funny

    I believe this is the same thing that Wyle E Coyote tried to catch the roadrunner. Hopefully NASA will get better contractors than ACME

  33. Tempur-Pedic by mabu · · Score: 2, Funny

    Nasa is back to working on space stuff? I thought they gave it up to focus their energy on mattresses?

  34. cosmic trebuchet by technoCon · · Score: 2, Funny

    Has Ron Toms at Trebuchet.com been awarded a NASA contract?