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The Management Secrets of T. John Dick

Craig Habeck writes "As a Dilbert aficionado, I was intrigued when a colleague handed me a book that he described as 'like Dilbert written from the point of view of the Pointy-Haired Boss.' I read it over the weekend and came into work on Monday with my sides still sore from laughing." Read on for the rest of what sounds like a good antidote to the plague of management/motivational airport books. The Management Secrets of T. John Dick author Augustus Gump pages 268 publisher Mainland Press rating 9 reviewer Craig Habeck ISBN 0970874693 summary Dilbert in Prose - Sort Of

In fact, the resemblance to Dilbert is confined to the setting (a dysfunctional company) and a general atmosphere of corporate absurdity that will be only too familiar to many of us. This is a novel which is closer in tone to British humor of the 1950s. For 268 pages we go inside the head of T. John Dick, a hopelessly incompetent but supremely self-confident marketing manager, transferred from Boston to a small company in the fictitious town of Falling Rock, North Carolina.

Dick immediately goes about licking the company into shape, with disastrous and frequently hilarious results.

The humor derives chiefly from the character of TJ himself and the stark contrast between his self-image and reality. In his mind, he is a dynamic leader in tune with the latest management techniques. He is fond of sharing with us some of his "greatest strengths," including his ability to see "the big picture." In reality, he is a bumbling nincompoop, obsessed with petty details like the tidiness of his employees' desks and his mind-numbingly complex Meeting Room Reservation Procedure, the constant flouting of which drives him to distraction. He is completely unaware of the source of amusement he provides for his colleagues, particularly his nemesis, the laconic VP of Finance, and Hans Kartoffel, the German acting President of the group.

TJ applies the same cutting edge management techniques to his marriage, with similar results. He is completely oblivious to his wife's frequent affairs. We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.

TJ's unusual management style leads him into some unique (and very funny) situations. His arrangements for a celebration of two million accident-free work hours lead to a fire which burns down half the factory. He attempts to struggle through a violent attack of diarrhea during an important presentation. He accidentally locks the company's president in a restroom stall and endeavors to free him without being noticed. So accident-prone is he that we are hardly surprised when his golf pants catch fire. Of course, no matter what happens, TJ always has a perfectly rational explanation - and it's never his fault.

The character of TJ is an exaggerated but nonetheless very recognizable version of bosses we have known. I laughed, but I also squirmed at the thought that there is no shortage of TJs running around gumming up the gears of industry. The book will appeal to anyone, engineer, product manager, secretary or other corporate wage slave, who has ever had to deal with an incompetent boss or colleague.

The Management Secrets of T. John Dick concludes with a series of completely absurd topics for readers discussion groups. My favorite: "TJ's obsession with trivial details....might be described as a serious personality defect. Discuss some of your own personality defects. Bet you've got some real doozies! You might like to help your co-members by pointing out some of theirs."

The book's back cover reveals little about its author, Augustus Gump, so I turned to the publisher's web site www.mainlandpress.com. Gump has previously published a number of short stories and his humorous articles have appeared in the Charlotte Observer and other regional newspapers. This is his first novel. I will be looking out for his next one.

You (or your boss) can purchase The Management Secrets of T. John Dick from bn.com. Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.

22 of 226 comments (clear)

  1. Re:two million accident-free work hours? by eoyount · · Score: 5, Informative

    You forgot to divide by the number of people. You're exactly right in your second sentence. Companies count man-hours, so you would contribute 8 accident free hours for every shift you worked.

    --
    To understand recursion,
    you must first understand recursion.
  2. For a TV show that's funny in a similar way... by PancakeMan · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ...check out "The Office" (I get it on BBC America)

  3. well, ok... I'll try that by inode_buddha · · Score: 5, Insightful

    little challenge at the end of the review to explain my own failings.

    1. I usually don't bother to care what I seem like to others; Instead, I concentrate on my goals and not much else.

    2. I should pay attention to detail with the rest of life too, not just the contents of my hard drives.

    Conclusion: I'm gonna buy this one, because it seems to provoke thought as well as laughter.

    --
    C|N>K
  4. Mr. Bean = Boss? by sssmashy · · Score: 4, Insightful

    His arrangements for a celebration of two million accident-free work hours lead to a fire which burns down half the factory. He attempts to struggle through a violent attack of diarrhea during an important presentation. He accidentally locks the company's president in a restroom stall and endeavors to free him without being noticed. So accident-prone is he that we are hardly surprised when his golf pants catch fire.

    Sounds like the pointy-haired boss, portrayed by Rowan Atkinson.

  5. Re:two million accident-free work hours? by seeesesk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Perhaps you should ponder the section on obsessing over trivial details.

  6. Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert by sphealey · · Score: 5, Interesting
    We would feel sorry for him, if he weren't such a jerk. In fact, we do occasionally find ourselves sympathizing with him, but we soon get over it.
    The early Dilberts were quite funny. They started going downhill IMHO when the character of the boss changed. Originally, the boss was a typical boss-guy: sometimes clueless, sometimes wrong or wrong-headed - but not always. From time to time the boss would demonstrate that his employees were not the proto-gods that they believed, but were also fallible human beings subject to stapler misfires.

    Then when the drawing of the boss changed from the taller, more jowly look to the shorter, fatter-but-thinner-face guy, that changed. After that the employees were 100% godlike and the bosses 100% clueless.

    At that point I found it to be a lot less funny. Because let's face it: a lot of the stupidies of the workplace are caused by the worker bees themselves, not just the evil bosses. And when Dilbert lost the balance that recognized that fact it started to slide (a slide which got worse when Scott Adams was fired from his real technical job).

    sPh

    1. Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert by Kierthos · · Score: 5, Insightful

      Are you reading the same Dilbert? The one where Wally is a lazy good-for-no-work coffee drinker? Where Alice is frequently violent to fellow co-workers? The one where Dilbert causes most of his own misfortune when the PHB isn't involved?

      The entire company is disfunctional. If they were godlike in skills, they wouldn't be working there. A recent comic even had Dilbert noticing that he wasn't even qualified for his own job any more.

      Incompetence has _never_ been limited just to the PHB, nor just to the people who read those damned management books.

      Kierthos

      --
      Mr. Hu is not a ninja.
    2. Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert by sbillard · · Score: 5, Funny

      So... how's that corner office working out for you?

      My TPS report will be ready by the end of the day.

    3. Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert by Fesh · · Score: 4, Interesting
      A recent comic even had Dilbert noticing that he wasn't even qualified for his own job any more.


      Funny, I read that one as a comment on the absurdly inflated requirements listed in job postings these days, not that he was actually unfit for the job he was doing.

      Although to be fair there's probably an arms race between the hiring managers and the buzzword-weilding resume-writers occuring.
      --
      --Fesh
      Kill -9 'em all, let root@localhost sort 'em out.
    4. Re:Similar to the downhill slide of Dilbert by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Interesting

      Absurdly inflated requirements?? oh, c'mon.. I'm sure there's people pounding on their doors with 10 years of Win2K experience, and at *least* 5 years of experience with Oracle9i.

      I *sorely* laughed one time when I was job-shopping online, and found a posting for a company that was looking for someone with a PhD in IT Security, 10+ years experience with internet firewalls, and certifications up the wazoo... and then they say "we've had this job posted for over a year and have only had two applicants". Gee, I wonder why? Meanwhile one of the best firewall/security people I've ever met was in his mid-20's, a consumate geek with no college degree, and totally security-paranoid.

      Now unemployed, I've seen a *lot* of jobs out there with totally rediculous requirements. Luckily, my old boss from a previous job (who loved me and knows how capable I am of *learning* new technologies on the fly) has a job lined up for me (although I've enjoyed my month off ;-) ).

      I've interviewed people with certs and education up the wazoo, who couldn't pick up anything new without 6 months of training (and even then would do everything by 'rote'). And I've interviewed people who have no certs and not much post-HS education who would jump in and pick up anything in a week. Education is *not* everything, attitude and ability to learn is the most important.

      I prefer the latter. I'd rather have someone who can jump in and pick something new up in a short time, and who is *interested* in what they do.. rather than just a paycheck. I was amazed in college (I didn't graduate) with all the people who were in a particular major just because it would 'pay well when they graduate'. I remember a senior year EE major asking for my help (I was a freshman CS major... who grew up tinkering in digital electronics - building my own boards, etc) in designing his final project so he could graduate. I took his design that was like 40 IC's and would never have worked and got it down to 10 IC's and something that actually would work in an hour. I was spouting off 74xxx series chip #'s, knowing exactly what they did off the top of my head, and he had to keep looking them up in the databook to find out what their function was (this is early 80's). The difference was, it wasn't a 'job' for me, it was something I enjoyed doing and was interested in and had done for years as a hobby at that point.

  7. The Brittas Empire by fermion · · Score: 4, Interesting
    It does sound like a british comedy. In fact it sounds like The Brittas Empire. Except in that one Gordon Brittas destroys the entire lesuire centre and comes out a hero. I think it is called rising to your level of incompetence.

    The question it really raises is that of inflated levels of self esteem, or perhaps self worth. I prefer to think it is the later. In any case, it certainly illustrates the notion that an ability to initially present yourself as competent may be more important than in fact being competent. Unfortunately being able to fool people for a little while is often all that is needed to succeed.

    Off topic, is there any official news on the Red Dwarf movie? Is a vapour or something that might happen?

    --
    "She's a scientist and a lesbian. She's not going to let it slide." Orphan Black
  8. Re:Nerds for Nerds? by gerf · · Score: 5, Insightful

    And this book review is of interest to nerds WHY EXACTLY? The reviewer makes a comparison to the lead character of this novel and a supporting character in a technology-based cartoon and that's enough to get this accepted on slashdot? WTF? This book has nothing to do with technology or nerds or anything that nerds care about! This has about as much relevance on slashdot as Martha Stewart's latest "Cooking Simplistic Crap For the Masses" book.

    Engineers deal with business too. Do you think that every geek/nerd sits in a cube all day, working on crap, and never has to manage? Please, don't feed me that.

  9. Re:Nerds for Nerds? by hoggoth · · Score: 5, Funny

    Since many of us work for T. John Dick I would disagree.

    Start your own website, "Slasherdot: Strictly News for Nerds. Stuff that matters to one particular Anonymous Coward."

    --
    - For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat /dev/random (may take some time)
  10. Kartoffel by LordNimon · · Score: 5, Informative

    FYI, "Kartoffel" is German for potato.

    --
    And the men who hold high places must be the ones who start
    To mold a new reality... closer to the heart
  11. Re:two million accident-free work hours? by TJ6581 · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I don't know of any companies that have been around that long.

    If you are looking for a few companies that meet this age criteria try Zildjian Cymbal Co. It is in Norwell, Mass., founded in Turkey in 1623 and now in its 14th generation of management by the Zildjian family.

    for a more complete list of companies with some time behind them try this list.

    --
    "Freedom of speech has always been the abstract red-headed stepchild of the Constitution"
    -Suck
  12. Re:Nerds for Nerds? by Yogurtu · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It has a LOT to do with nerds. Some day your parents will demand that you work for a living, and then you'll see.

  13. Sounds like "The Office" ? by devitto · · Score: 5, Informative

    This is almost exactly like the office, in tone, if not setting.

    "The Office" is a UK series that's won loads of the biggest awards, and is, I guess, something yet to make it over to the US on masse.

    When it does, I think it'll be the next "Fawlty Towers"....

  14. Mainland Press is requesting stories... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Insightful

    and "anecdotes illustrating his theory that the business world is inhabited almost exclusively by knuckleheads."

    For the "The most disastrous business decision you ever witnessed" I would have to say IBM's decision to license DOS from Microsoft. Either that, or the current deathwish that SCO has against IBM and the computing industry in general.

    "The most ridiculous presentation you ever heard": Hasn't Mr. Gump seen, or even heard, of the conference where Balmer comes onstage, jumps around, and screams "DEVELOPERS!" repeatedly at the top of his lungs? I found that hilarious.

    Those should definitely make it into the next book.

  15. Did anyone read the review? by MikeD83 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Dick immediately goes about licking the company into shape, with disastrous and frequently hilarious results.

    I can't believe the Slashdot editors would allow a sentance like this to slip by.

    1. Re:Did anyone read the review? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      Why? Because there are no grammatical errors?

  16. I've been poking around various bookstores... by idontgno · · Score: 4, Funny

    but I haven't yet seen this title in the non-fiction aisles. Strange.

    --
    Welcome to the Panopticon. Used to be a prison, now it's your home.
  17. Re:two million accident-free work hours? by loosifer · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I think you are referring to irony, but one wouldn't know so from your post:

    irony, n - Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs: "Hyde noted the irony of Ireland's copying the nation she most hated" (Richard Kain).

    Your statements just describe things that suck, not things that are ironic. Please, base your definitions of words on actual reading, not music, because apparently musicians are just as illiterate as the rest of America. It's crappy when it rains on your wedding day, but it's ironic if it happens after you chide all your friends for not preparing for rain on their wedding days yet you yourself don't prepare for it on your day. It's lame when you've got lots of spoons but need a knife, it's ironic when you've been slowly trading knives for spoons and you never actually need a knife until you run out of them.

    My favorite, most poignant story of irony is a racist skinhead who decided he couldn't stay in any longer. When he informed the rest of the skinheads, they beat him up and left him almost unconscious on the side of the road. Multiple white people passed him by and did not help him, and finally a black couple saw him and helped him. See, that's irony, not just crappy

    Please, read more, music less

    .