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United Nuclear

Posted by michael on from the even-the-name-is-perfect dept.

goombah99 writes "Hey Mr. Science, need a rocket pack for your bicycle? Look no further than United Nuclear scientific supply where under their dangerous products category you can purchase your own radioactive uranium ore, as well as a two million volt generator if you need one. Or what mad scientist can do without his own particle accelerator (which they advertise can mutate DNA in seed, explore the atom, or simply transmute elements)"

40 of 263 comments (clear)

  1. on second thought, pass the lead gloves please. by sweeney37 · · Score: 5, Funny

    All of these samples measure over 40,000 CPM and we'll occasionally have some as high as 300,000 CPM.
    This is 2 to 15 times the radiation level as our "High Radiation Level" samples.
    Do Not store these samples on your person, and wash your hands after handling them.

    Yeah, if I'm touching uranium that they label as being "Super High Radiation Level" I'm thinking I may want more than a "hand-washing".

    Mike

    1. Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please. by gantrep · · Score: 5, Funny

      Everyone is way too paranoid about radiation. Sure you wouldn't want to handle it every day, but a piece of uranium metal is not the same thing as a nuclear bomb, ok?

      You can hold plutonium metal in your hand and you can even eat uranium metal with minimal harm.

      Wow, huh?

      Even though these samples may be very radioactive, most likely, the handwashing as they say is all you would really need. They're the experts, they deal with it. Trust them.

    2. Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please. by adagioforstrings · · Score: 5, Funny

      Are these the same experts that say that Depleted Uranium weapons do no leave any harmfull after effects after they are used

      Uh, I thought that was the point? I know what you mean, though, it just seems kind of funny:

      Scientist 1: Today we're testing to see if there are harmful effects from depleted uranium weapons
      Scientist 2: Righto. Commence with experiment.
      (Scientist 2 activates 30mm chaingun with depleted uranium shells to deliver DU to test subject)
      Scientist 2: Uh...harmful effects?
      (Scientist 1 inspects test subject)
      Scientist 1: Hmm, hard to say. Maybe on that bit over there?

    3. Re:on second thought, pass the lead gloves please. by Sayjack · · Score: 4, Funny

      In the former German Democratic Republic, thousands of miners were working with Uranium ore. Twenty years earlier they died than the rest of the people, by average.

      They should have washed their hands more.

      --

      -- Good judgement comes with experience. -- Experience comes with bad judgement.

  2. important safety tip! by Tumbleweed · · Score: 5, Funny

    > Or what mad scientist can do without his own particle accelerator

    If you get more than one, don't cross the streams. It would be ... bad.

    Cats and dogs living together ... MASS HYSTERIA!

    1. Re:important safety tip! by fireboy1919 · · Score: 3, Funny

      I'm a little fuzzy on the whole good-bad thing.

      What do you mean, "bad?"

      --
      Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
    2. Re:important safety tip! by Tumbleweed · · Score: 3, Funny

      Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.

      Total protonic reversal.

    3. Re:important safety tip! by NecroPuppy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
      Ray: Total protonic reversal....

      --
      I like you, Stuart. You're not like everyone else, here, at Slashdot.
    4. Re:important safety tip! by fireboy1919 · · Score: 3, Funny

      Ok right that's BAD, important safety tip.

      Thanks Egon.

      --
      Mod me down and I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!
  3. Potential Advertisement by TheOnyx · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Well, you can't find weapons of mass destruction, but now, you can build one with our at-home kit!"

    --
    "Do not hold strong opinions about things you do not understand."
  4. Happy Fun Rock by citking · · Score: 5, Funny
    Disclaimer packed with each ore sample:

    Do not taunt happy fun rock. If happy fun rock starts getting hot, turn and walk calmly but quickly towards the nearest bomb shelter...

    --
    "This food is problematic."
    1. Re:Happy Fun Rock by el-spectre · · Score: 4, Funny

      When I was in high school, a teacher handed around a rock for us to see, and once it was 2/3 of the way around class, said 'oh, if you think you might be pregnant... don't touch that. It's mildly radioactive'

      Thanks prof!

      --
      "Faith: Belief without evidence in what is told by one who speaks without knowledge, of things without parallel." - A.B.
    2. Re:Happy Fun Rock by danthedanish · · Score: 2, Funny

      On a similar note, my high school biology teacher passed around an orange dinner plate and revealed that the plate was radioactive. He said that many years ago, he used to nab lunches from his students by telling them of some nuclear accident that may have contaminated their sandwiches. He would place the sandwich on the plate and detect radioactivity with a Geiger counter, then promptly confiscate the sandwich for the student's safety (and for his consumption).

    3. Re:Happy Fun Rock by LauraScudder · · Score: 2, Funny

      My high school physics teacher had a coffee mug from this set. The fiestaware orange ones were orange from some uranium glaze I think. Smart.

      In his first radiation lecture he would pull the sucker out of storage for his coffee that day. He'd bring out the geiger counter and explain how it worked etc. and start writing stuff on the board while it ticked away background radiation. Then he'd casually take a sip from his mug and then set it back down next to the geiger counter, which proceeded to go mad. He'd just turn back to the board as if he didn't notice while the whole class stared wide-eyed at his radioactive coffee.

  5. Oh no, now you've done it! by Elpacoloco · · Score: 2, Funny

    The government spooks have seen this and will take very cool products of the market in 3....2...1...

  6. Disappointing... by Otter · · Score: 4, Funny
    This category contains samples of the most sought after Uranium ore, Pitchblende. Pitchblende is a jet-black, very heavy, semi-crystalline Uranium ore that is pure Uranium Oxide...Very rare and nearly impossible to find at any price. We've been searching all over the world for more Pitchblende for over a year now, and these are our last samples... when they're gone, they're gone.... Sorry, there are currently no samples for sale in the category.

    I'm surprisingly disappointed given that I had no idea I wanted a piece of pitchblende. But they made it sound so enticing, and then I discover they're out...

    --
    What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
  7. 60 MPH on his Schwinn!? by AsnFkr · · Score: 2, Funny

    Captian...she can't take much more...she's breaking up!!

    --


    adventure-today.com
  8. Just what the radioactive Boy Scout needs.... by marbike · · Score: 4, Funny

    Perhaps it is a good thing that this company was not well known when Dave Hahn was working on his breeder reactor.
    http://www.dangerouslaboratories.org/rad scout.html

    --
    it is better to light a flame thrower than curse the darkness. -Terry Pratchett Men at Arms
  9. PayPal by Vokbain · · Score: 2, Funny

    The main part of the site says they take PayPal. I wonder if I can pay for my Uranium that way?

  10. Re:WMD? by buffer-overflowed · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, this just means you don't have to goto Niger to get your uranium.

    --
    The key to the enjoyment of pop music is to replace any instance of "love" with "C.H.U.D."
  11. Will Scott Evil Shop There? by Eberlin · · Score: 2, Funny

    Now it's not cool until it's a one-stop-shop for sharks with frickin' lasers!!!

  12. Just wait till they put a big red 'R' on it! by teamhasnoi · · Score: 3, Funny
    Woo Woo!

    I think I heard the sound of a million ricer jaws dropping.

  13. Obligitory /. joke by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Seems they aren't using a nuclear powered server.

  14. News Flash! by dapuk · · Score: 3, Funny
    It has been determined that the sudden shortage of uranium is in the hands of members from the slashdot.org terrorist organization.

    The military believe that they plan to build a nuclear warhead. George W Bush has asked for the slashdot.org terrorist communication and control center to be destroyed immediately. It is believed that Cmdr Taco is the mastermind of this attack.

    More news as we get it...

    1. Re:News Flash! by daveo0331 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The government's mission to destroy the Slashdot terrorist organization has been code-named Government Nuclear Aggressor Annhilation.

      Almost looked like it might succeed a few days ago.

      --
      Remember the days when Republicans were the party of fiscal responsibility?
  15. New favourite store by Cap'n+Roger+Wang · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sorry Thinkgeek, but I think that I've just found a new place to spend my discretionary income.

  16. Slashdot Works For US Government - Stopping Terror by docstrange · · Score: 5, Funny

    Recent conversation between CMDR Taco and Donald Rumsfield.

    Rumsfield: Hey CMDR Taco, there's this website we need to take down that sells nuclear supplies. We think that terrorists might be using them to build weapons of mass destruction.

    Taco: No problem, i'll have a slashdot story posted immediateley. It should stop the website dead in it's tracks until we can permanently shut them down.

    Rumsfield: Excellent, thank you for protecting our country.

    --
    Remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.
  17. No responsibility by tarquin_fim_bim · · Score: 5, Funny

    "A few of these projects will instantly kill if precautions are not followed. Although we have personally conducted every experiment & built every project here, we assume no responsibility for your attempt to do so."

    I suppose a refund would be out of the question then.

  18. Shipping? by jbfaninmo · · Score: 3, Funny

    Does UPS, Fedex or USPS ship Uranium? Bit of a nasty suprise for the delivery guy.

  19. ooooh .... by taniwha · · Score: 1, Funny

    perhaps Mr Bush could finally find some weapons of mass destruction

  20. Invade Slashdot by mobileskimo · · Score: 4, Funny

    • Rumsfield: What do you mean these slashdot terrorist have no oil?

      CmdrTaco: They don't even have a country.

      Rumsfield: Oh well that's just dandy! Now I got two excurisions I need to explain!

      CmdrTaco: They have karma...

      Rumsfield: "karma"? Is it worth anything?

    --
    "Last one in is a rotten goblin!" - Kepp
  21. Holy shit! by illuminata · · Score: 1, Funny

    You guys just gave the Slashdot effect to people with nuclear capabilities! You better hope for your sake that they're not too pissed off. You might just have a special shipment by way of air mail pretty soon...

    --


    Until Slashdot fixes the funny modifier, use insightful or interesting. The poster knows your intentions.
  22. Mad scientist necessity! by Code-Ex · · Score: 2, Funny

    Do they sell a slashdot-proof server?

  23. Re:Bush Administration by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    No, that goes by the name "United Nookyuler"

  24. Suppliers like in "Science Made Stupid"? by hiryuu · · Score: 4, Funny

    I can't help but be reminded of some of the "supply stores" mentioned in "Science Made Stupid" as the places to get various dangerous things. U-235 rods from "Bud's Scientific Supply," anyone?

    Footnote on page 25 (might not be in the web version linked above): "A fuller discussion of Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle may be found in the Appendix. Then again, it may not."


    --
    Karma: Excellent, but still won't get you laid.
  25. What irony... by teutonic_leech · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... they're selling this stuff online and I get my nailclippers confiscated before boarding my plane. What a world we live in ...

  26. Place an order by Henry+V+.009 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hello, I'd like to place an order for 30,000 tons of your uranium ore. I'll also need some good centrifuges.

  27. Re:Slashdot Works For US Government - Stopping Ter by Guppy06 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Does this mean that the coming dupe is just Taco's way of emulating Shock and Awe?

  28. Darwin's theory of natural selection beckons.... by Sayjack · · Score: 4, Funny

    I can hear Darwin's theory of natural selection beckoning me to resign from the gene pool as I salivate and fantasize over my jet engine driven bicycle spewing lightning bolts as I complete my newspaper route with unprecedented speed and precision.... Can you feel it calling you as well?

    --

    -- Good judgement comes with experience. -- Experience comes with bad judgement.

  29. Great job on the /.'ing guys... by SealBeater · · Score: 2, Funny

    This Account Has Been Suspended
    Please contact the billing/support department as soon as possible.

    Way to go, nothing like kicking a cool website off the web.

    SealBeater

    --
    -- Its survival of the fittest...and we got the fucking guns!!!