Slashdot Mirror
Growth Job Sector: Freelance Technical Support
An anonymous reader wrotes: "Over at World New York, they've posted excellent advice to the geek masses: If you're out of work and know how to use a computer, you can make a killing doing freelance technical support." Update: 07/25 20:00 GMT by M : The author has asked that we link to the article on homepage.mac.com due to server overload. :)
It'll probably work.. until everyone's doing it.. I guess the real question is, "Is there enough idiots out there to support all the 'geeks'?"
I'm not the devil.. just his advocate.
I'd rather lay bricks in oklahoma in august, it's less frustrating, more consistant and pays just as well.
judging by the quick slashdotting, there must be a lot of unemployed geeks out there.
"I don't need a compass to tell me which way the wind shines." - Mr. Furious, Mystery Men
...hitting that refresh button tryng to get a FP on /.
Dh'o!!
and after 6 months, i was on the brink of insanity and would take my anger out on friends and family. mom: why isnt sound coming out? me: you stupid cunt, you have the sound muted, dont you see the red circle with the slash going through it on the speaker icon? jesus you are so stupid..
$5 an hour with free cookies and milk to boot.
I mean, heck, just take a page from AT&T... (actual call!)
...
Me: Yeah, hi, I have a cable modem through you and...
Drone: You have a what?
Me: I have a cable modem, its not
Drone: You have a what?
Me: I. Have. A. Cable. Modem. High. Speed. Internet. You. Know? Its out, flashing lights...
Drone: Oh, you have broadband. Unplug your modem for 5 seconds, and then plug the network cable directly into your computer if you have a hub/router (obvious they have no clue what either is, its probably just in their script as such).
Me: I've already done that, and no, its not the hub, the hub works fine.
Drone: Let me send out a technician.
Me: ARGH!!!!
God I hate them. Thank you Speakeasy! At least they laugh when I tell them how much I hate the cable companies!
This is my sig. Its pathetic.
What a great opportunity to meet bored and lonely housewives.
IT is done, toast in this country. The best way to make money is to open a firm in india and have an IT sweatshop. You would be better off opening a typewriter repair shop, at least its a noble way to starve yourself to death.
[Knock Knock Knock]
Customer: Who is it?
Techie: Tech support.
Customer: I didn't call for any tech support!
Techie: Yes sir, I know. I am in the door to door tech support business. Can I interest you in some high quality tech support? My rates are very reasonable!
Customer: No, thanks. Goodb...
Techie: Are you sure you don't have bugs to troubleshoot?
Customer: No, really, thanks for coming, but....
Techie: Perhaps I could install some peripherals for you?
Customer: No!
Techie: Maybe I could run anti-virus software and defrag your hard drive. That's the special of the day!
Customer: No!
Techie: Any mysterious crashes I can diagnose, and then tell you you need to put in some more RAM and reinstall your operating system?
Customer: Well... wait, NO!
Techie: Maybe I could just open and close all your windows. I offer that service for only a dollar!
Customer: Go away or I'm calling the cops!
-- I Am Not A Terrorist.
Well anyway, how much does an idiot charge me for some help tweaking some shell scripts, or a little bit of perl programming?
They don't charge you anything, you charge them, ideally by the hour.
I had a friend of mine, genius he wasn't, who tried this. His website is full of typos and grammar errors. That would fill me with confidence as a client.
My fave consulting story: he begs me once that he needs me to help fix someone's printer. Mac couldn't print. After some convincing (I was jealous he was doing it and I knew i was too lazy to get off my ass) I went over. Tried some basic stuff, didn't work. Went to core simple things:
Printer plugged in? yep, light on and everything.
Cable plugged into Mac? yep.
AppleTalk turned off on serial port? yep.
Printer cable plugged into printer? ummm, nope.
The kid also had a PowerCD, essentially a CD player you could use as a portable or hook to the Mac (i told you this was years ago). Kid wanted to show me some games, so to show me, he shut the computer down, removed the CD and restarted it. My jaw dropped slightly. "Umm, you know you can drag the CD to the trash can to eject it". "Wow, just like a floppy?" "yeah," I said "just like a floppy". I asked my 'consultant' friend why didn't he teach the kid that. He said "well, I didn't want to confuse him." Oh, so to not confuse him, you show him an alternate way of ejecting a CD instead of showing its just like all removable media. Umm, OK.
Hmm, then again this is the same guy who's car was on fire, didn't notice it, and when a cop pulls him over to kill the flames, pulls into a gas station.
Silly thing is, he got a lot of clients, including one of The Kennedys. He's going to her house, in her car, and she says "I have to stop by work for a second." Pulls up to the Merchandise Mart, at one time the only commercial building in the US with it's own ZIP code (they've since sold off their interests). he goes "wow, you work there?" "Kind of, I own it." Goes to show, sometimes you don't need to be smart, just have to look smart to the people paying you.
If you're out of work and know how to use a computer, you can make a killing doing freelance technical support.
In addition to making a decent wage and setting your own hours, you can decide how to respond to each customer without having to worry about what The Boss thinks of your approach:
Caller 1: "Hello? My computer won't work anymore!"
You: "When did you first notice the problem?"
Caller: "Oh right after I took it apart and washed all the components with warmy, soapy water. It was getting really dirty."
You: "You fuckin, fuckin, moron. No help for you!"
Caller 2: "Hello? I'm having trouble getting the floor pedal to work. How hard am I supposed to be stepping on it?"
You: "Floor pedal? What the fuck?"
Caller: "You know. That hand-shaped device with the rubber ball imbedded in it!"
You: *click*
Caller 3: "Hello? I can't get Microsoft Outlook Express to work with my AOL account."
You: "Well, Dude, it sucks to be you. If you were using pine on a Linux box I might be inclined to help you. But nooooo, you wanted to help Microshaft and AOHell strengthen their monopoly. Well, have fun with their tech support lines 'cause I sure as hell ain't gonna help your monopoly-strengthening lazy ass!" *click*
Yeah, I can see the freedom to provide the appropriate response a real bonus to this job!
GMD
watch this
"Oh, hello, Jim. How're things at World New York? ...oh...I see...hmm...well, let's see what we can do.
"First off, what do you see on the screen? ...Nothing? Is the server plugged in? Mmm-hmm...it is? Okay, that's good. And the power is on? ... you press the little button, but nothing happens. OK. And are any lights on? No. Hmm.
"It sounds like you may have a hardware--what's that? Really? Well, that's not good...yes, it does smell rather bad when that happens. *laugh* Yes, I can see how having the extinguisher right there came in handy...
"Well, I'm afraid...huh? Your backup just went, too? That's odd. That only ever happens when--hang on. *clickity tappity clackety CLACK*
Oh.
"Jim, have you ever heard of a website called 'Slashdot'?
Obliteracy: Words with explosions
Freelance tech support is like opening your door and inviting all the world's idiots in. Everyone and their Grandma has a computer these days, and nobody (speaking of general population non-geeks) understands them.
From a business perspective, who do you think your customer base will be? Straight up, candidly speaking (I can't understate this), your customer base will be people who are FUCKING DUMB. =) You're going to get the poor ghetto trash with 8th grade educations that SOMEHOW managed to buy an incredibly outdated computer that won't run anything, and expect you to fix it for them. Like talking to brick walls? Maybe you should try that, instead of trying to fix a PC for a dumb irate redneck egomaniac know-it-all ignoramus who can't even figure out how to click his mouse or scroll the screen from left to right, and expect him to understand a word of non-urban slang gramatically correct English.
However, if you've got a masochistic craving for suffering at the hands of total idiots, this would be the perfect field for you. Personally, I'd rather be a janitor, because cleaning shit up would be preferable to this. =)
naked freelance support. and yes it is a new meaning of HARD drive.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
What make you think that "computer people" and "idiots" are mutually exclusive?
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
Don't forget to bring your video camera along and come up with a great come on using the words:
LARGE HARD DRIVE
Maybe this is the road to riches they are thinking about.
myke
Mimetics Inc. Twitter
Gee, with a sig like that I can't imagine why you'd have a bunch of useless certifications and no degree. Here's a tip: get a certification in long term thinking, maybe they'll teach you why your hill-climbing algorithm makes you an asshat.
Because when your computer crashes, it doesn't flood your bathroom with shit.
Kintanon
Check out JoshJitsu.info for Brazilian Ji
Step 3... 11 inches.
That is all.
Definition of "To Live Decently in NYC on 52K a year"
1. You don't live in NYC. Your cardboard box on 131st & 5th doesn't count
2. You can't work more than 20 hours a week because your eating frugally (ie out of garbage cans and meals on wheels leftovers, and your customers refiges) and have prefected the art of chimping change from the "take a penny, leave a penny" jar.
3. You've mastered the art of "wow, this is a major problem, it's going to take ALLL night to fix" and convienently crash on the customers couch until morining.
Maybe I missed the key point in this quote and your "sharp tax advisor" means something I'm unfamiliar with and is the real key to your success.
Quote: "Do the math for a minute: Let's say you work 20 hours a week and charge $50 an hour. That's a $1000 a week. That's $52,000 a year. Now, you'll pay taxes out of that, perhaps up to 40% depending upon where you live, and your own insurance, and other costs, but it's still a respectable income. If you itemize your deductions and hire a sharp tax advisor, you can avoid an unnecessary tax burden. Even in New York City, one of the most expensive towns on the planet, you can live decently on that money."
A customer called and said:
The software doesn't work. All I keep getting is the options: Repair or Remove, when I click on it.
Turns out he was executing setup.exe again and again rather then the software itself.
After talking him very slowly (9 mins. in all on our 800 no) through Start->Programs etc. he said:
That's the first time I'm seeing the program!
Too late now, everyones going to be doing it now that they read about it.
Is this the first time an entire job market has been slashdotted?
If I were to go freelance I'd work only for Willy Wonka. And then only if he gave me my own Oompah Loompah assistant and a chocholate PDA. Hourly rate has to figure in the market for those said skills. Sprint just lay off 200 IT people? Your UNIX skills won't get you jack in KC for the next year or two then.
Maybe they should hire someone for tech support. Seems their server's not doing so well.
Once you find out the cupholder can play music, what else is there to know?
He dropped down into commiseration mode: the corners of his mouth drooped, his head ducked, he took a Hapsburg stance--his feet angled, his left foot perpendicular to his right, heel against arch, his torso yawed a few degrees off center, his hands lightly on his hips--
...A crowd gathered around him. The music starts. He starts dancing his infamous Geek Ramba. The crowd goes wild. In mid stride, he slings off his leather Lord of the Rings jacket revealing a homemade Bittorrent t-shirt, a fresh nametag from the latest Star Trek convention, and a platinum necklace with a giant emblem in the shape of a penguin...