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Telemarketers Sue Over "Do Not Call" List
Joey Patterson writes "CNN reports that 'Telemarketers expanded their legal challenge to the government's do-not-call list, suing a second federal agency over the call-blocking service for consumers that the industry says will devastate business and cost as many as two million jobs.'"
The list works. What a shame
will devastate business and cost as many as two million jobs Telephonus Marketroidae are getting closer to the Endangered Species List.
Isn't this exactly like the candle manufacturers suing the electric utilities, claiming electricity will cause massive job loss? On the other hand, what are all those losers whose only skill is having a big mouth and being able to follow a script going to do for a living now?
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
They're stating that not only has the FTC been distributing their intellectual property over P2P networks, but that it was also illegally incorporated into Linux.
(What? This is a different lawsuit? I thought Slashdot only covered the RIAA and SCO!)
*sheds a tear for the pain and suffering of telemarketers*
Exemptions included...calls on behalf of politicians.
So, even if I put up the telephone equivalent of a "Do not trespass" sign, the craziest of all businessmen are still allowed to call me?
Ceci n'est pas une sig.
Maybe those 2 million people can get jobs selling magazines door-to-door.
Oh wait. People hate that, too.
blog
Exemptions from the list include calls from charities and pollsters and calls on behalf of politicians.
But calls from people telling me, Vote for Dayton/Coleman/Ventura/ whoever else is running are the worst kind. And don't get me started on charity calls, It's bad when they try to sell something, it's worse when the ask me to give them something for nothing. Toughen the law even more, I say. Make those annoying "oops wrong number" calls a federal offense. I don't want my phone to ring for anyone I don't already know. In fact, add my family to the list. The only ones I want to allow to call me are single women.
SAILING MISHAP
So, people that don't want to be called put themselves on a list. Alternatively, others can remain off the list and still receive calls.
The telemarketing companies end up calling only those that are willing to listen. Instead of wasting time, they call someone else that will listen to them and be a possible sale.
And.... they are complaining?
Drugs dealers suing the government for ruining the market?
'...cost as many as two million jobs.'
Another group of people who went to the 'RIAA School of Maths'
I have over 70 freaks, do you?
You are either a consumer, or you are with the terrorists.
Well, paraphrasing slightly, but I think you get the picture. If you can't be pressured into buying things that you don't want and don't need, then what's going to happen to all the people making those things, and applying that pressure? They'll have to get, you know, actual jobs.
I suggest they start making buggy whips, as most of us need them about as much as the current products and services that need to pimp themselves with unsolicited calls.
If you were blocking sigs, you wouldn't have to read this.
"Hell has expanded its ongoing legal challenge to religion and is suing yet another church over the concept of salvation, which Hell claims is devastating its business and will cost millions minimum-wage demons their jobs."
It is as easy as that. Build a business on annoying people and then, when the annoyed people react, cry "But won't anyone think of the children (of our employees)?". The point is they shouldn't exist in the first place (the employees, not their children). It should not be everybody else's problem if you have a business model based upon a service no one wants (because if everybody wanted it we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?).
*... of the world's smallest violin plays for the ATA.*
Anyone else feel like starting up a telemarketing scam for telemarketers?
"Hello, sir. Are you pissed since people no longer want to hear your sales pitch during their dinners? Would you like to hear about a technology which beats that nasty 'do not call' list? With our new technology, we are able to allow you to get around those laws and continue letting you peddle your crappy interest rate credit cards and stupid health insurance policies without the federal government finding out about it all! Are you interested, sir?"
"What? It sounds like you're eating right now. Well, just think about how surprised your potential clients will be when they have the same thing happen to them. If I can just get your name, address, telephone number, credit card and social security numbers, we can send our informational package to you for the low price of $159.99!"
-Jellisky
yesterdays novelties are today's nuisances
...
So true. *cough* Clippy *cough*
No wait, Clippy's been a nuisance from the start.
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
the constutional right to profit is right there in the bill of rights with the right to privacy...
The war with islam is a war on the beast
The war on terror is a war for peace
He makes good points. Does this mean we can sue India for taking away all our programming jobs?
Why even complain about the do not call list if those people listed on the do not call list basically are saying that they don't want to buy stuff from the telemarketers in the first place!
That's like me getting a list of girls who would never go out with me. I'd love to have that list , it would save me time. Then again that list might be bigger than the do not call list, but that is beside the point.
[alk]
Like going into porn.
It's all fun and games until someone loses the key to the handcuffs.
"marketing will always exist"...got me thinking...
Luke struggles to remove a small metal fragment from Artoo's neck joint. He uses a larger pick.
LUKE: Well, my little friend, you've got something jammed in here real good. Were you on a cruiser or...
The fragment breaks loose with a snap, sending Luke tumbling. He sits up and sees a twelve-inch three-dimensional hologram of Leia Organa, being projected from Artoo. The image flickers and jiggles in the dimly lit garage. Luke's mouth hangs open in awe.
VOICE: Help me, you're my only hope. My name is OBI-WAN KENOBI, if you help me by transfering $12BN credits into your account, you too can have a 12 inch Organa like mine!
LUKE: Aaaagh!!*%^$_"$£!!!!!?
is a Do-Not-Sue list!
telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Sara, and I represent ___ mortgage company."
me: "I don't believe your name is Sara."
Sara: "What? Er.. hmm... well.. Why don't you believe my name is Sara?"
me: "Well, okay. I guess I didn't mean it that way. I'll believe your name is 'Sara'. But I don't believe you're a real person. I think you're a computer program."
Sara: "Huh? What? Why would you think I'm a computer program?"
me: "Because I'm on the do-not-call list, so I can't believe a person would actually call me. You'd have to be a computer program."
Sara: (laughs .. has a place to get back on the script) "The do-not-call doesn't apply to us. So I'm not a computer program."
me: "That's what a computer program would probably say."
Sara: "Okay, well I guess I won't waste your time tonight." (hangs up)
The US DEA has initiated a crackdown on unwanted drug dealers in affluent neighborhoods all across the US, causing countless millions to be out of work... ~m
"Yes, I have a Disaster Recovery Plan. It's called my Resume"
, muggers and such start a suit in defense of their jobs? Finally forbidding thievery forced SO many of them work illegally and risk law consequences...
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
Caller: May I speak to Mr Yozepp Cleeboorn?
Me: Nobody by that name lives here.
*click*
I'm sure the last caller was the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes. <sigh>
My wife's favorite strategy is to look at caller ID. If it's "unknown name & number", she quickly taps the answer & then the end button. This denies the caller the chance to tag our answering machine, which my wife says they get some sort of credit for doing. Dunno if this is true, but I've learned never to argue with my wife over this sort of thing.
Meanwhile, I'm still working on my telemarketer zapper device which will send a 140 db burst of noise up the line... And now it looks like the no-call lists will steal all my potential market :-(
"Obviously, I'm not an IBM computer any more than I'm an ashtray" (Bob Dylan)
Oh yeah. I love screwing with telemarketers.
Here are some of my favorites:
1)
me: "Can you hold please?"
them: "Sure."
me:
2)
me:
me: What are you wearing?
3)
me: "Excuse me, is telemarketing your primary means of reaching your target consumer group?"
them: "Uh, I think so."
me: "Well did you know that there are currently 85 million hosts on the internet and that number is growing every day. For a $49.95 setup fee and just $19.95 a month I can set you up with a web site which can potentially market your product or service to each and every one of them..."
4)
Then there's always the famous Seinfeld one.
me: "Sorry I'm kinda busy right now but how about you give me your home phone number and I'll call you sometime around dinner?"
5)
them: "Am I speaking with ?"
me: "Sorry, he's dead."
Damnit!
I put stuff in the to "me:" lines in the first two situations and they showed up in the preview.
The gist of it is still there but in case anyone is interested they where
1: hits hold and takes another crack at beating the rock monster in Metroid Prime.
2: breathes heavily.
So, where were all these women who can't say "No" when I was single???
"Live Free or Die." Don't like it? Then keep out of the USA
Used that one a few times. Immediately I got "Oh I am so sorry..." ...which made me rather angry, since I knew damn well they didn't care and were being even MORE dishonest. ;-)
Mmmm......sacrelicious.
Early reports indicate that every cruise missile hit its intended targets except for one that leveled a Stuckey's in deepest, darkest New Jersey.
"It was something else," said Garden State resident Bibby O'Leary. "There were nutty cheese balls everywhere. May the gracious Lord grant me my wish to never look upon such a sight again."
"We gave the stinking pig-dogs a chance with the National Do Not Fucking Bother Me Resolution," said al-Sahaf. "We gave them every chance, but their black little souls were full of evil, and they had to be taught a lesson.
"Gurgle! Argh!" shouted American Teleservices Association executive director Tim Searcy from his hospital bed where he was being treated for extensive limb loss. "Millions of grandmothers will die for lack of employment, and rats will devour the children of the land! Telemarketing is the only thing keeping the cloven hooved man-goat at bay in his underworld!"
"There is ample legal precedent for governmental interest in protecting residential privacy," said FCC spokesbabe Bubbles McConnifer. "If those cock-gobbling leeches at the ATA don't like it, we can add them to the list of known terrorist organizations, and tip off the MPAA that the ATA is involved in heavy file sharing. Let's see how those weasels like that."
Related link:
Amateur photo of ATA headquarters.
--- Ban humanity.
The OCAA (Organized Crime Association of America) is suing the government over their "Anti-Theft" laws.
Their representative, known only as "The Don", says that the legislation cost their business 9.4 trillion US dollars last year.
"This is a staggering sum" said The Don
"That's the equivilant of the entire US GDP for that year. Do you know how many citizens can be employed with that kind of money?"
The White House refused to comment.
-1 Uncomfortable Truth
Hi, I'm calling you to tell you about...
Can I get your phone number?
Sure. 1-800-55...
No, your home phone number?
Wha... why do you want my...
So I can call you at home. It's only fair, no?
"Last one in is a rotten goblin!" - Kepp
I can't afford a sig!
hilarious
I love going down to the elementary school, watching all the kids jump and shout, but they dont know I'm using blanks.
CALLER: Hello, I'm calling you on behalf of President George W. Bush. He has a very important message for you. For just 3 easy payments of 19.99 you can own your very own George Foreman grill. For an extra $2000.00, you can be the proud owner of the Texas sized George W. Bush premium edition.
"Sorry, he's dead."
I tried something similar to this, it went like:
Marketer: Hi this is Ann with a special deal on blah blah.. Could I speak with Joe?
Me: Sorry he died.
Marketer: Oh, sorry to hear that. Could I speak with whoever the current owner of the household is then?
I should have replied, "No, he just died at the audacity of your response.".
Outdoor digital photography, mostly in New Engl
Yeah, and if you think a lot of jobs will be lost by restricting telemarketing, just think how many would be lost if we outlawed drugs and prostitution! Telemarketers will be the sacrificial lamb that will wake us up to the devastation caused by government interference in the markets before we go too far.
On the flip side, my psychic foresaw that this law will raise the GNP by $57 billion after people sitting at home unmolested by telemarketers get bored and start up home business to kill time.
Convert RSS to HTML - integrate webfeeds into your website
Or we could just load them into a space ship along with all the phone sanitizers and launch them into space, never to return.
Just to be safe, maybe we should add the number for the WOPR to the Do Not Call list.
Anyone have the number handy? Bueller? Bueller?
them: "Am I speaking with ?"
me: "Sorry, he's dead."
I heard of someone taking this approach once. He did this when his credit card company called once, and they wound up closing his account because they assumed he was deceased.
According to This page There are between 12 and 40 million drug dealers in the US. They should get together and sue the Government - think of all those poor dealers who will be out of work when those "Do Not Sell Drugs" laws take effect. Think of what it will do to the economy.
-------
Hmmm, lets rate this 62% Funny, 28% Insightful, 29% Sarcastic, 1% interesting with a +1 bonus for putting in a link.
(For the people who think moderators need help)
Who cares! I sure as hell don't! It will be 2 million under paid, depressing, high pressured, demeaning, unsatisfying, false hope, no education needed, scam pushing, annoying jobs that will be removed off the face of this earth.
What a relief! I have no pity at all.