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In-Flight Reboot?

steelem writes "The Washington Post is running a story about how the F-22 Raptor's software requires in-flight reboots. Apparently the 2 million line software project is 93% done. Knowing most projects I've been on, it'll stay that way for another few years."

28 of 594 comments (clear)

  1. Hah by B3ryllium · · Score: 4, Funny

    Welcome to Microsoft Airlines, your Stewardess today will be Steve Ballmer.

    1. Re:Hah by 680x0 · · Score: 5, Funny
      What?!? No one's made reference to the new pilot nicknames which are becoming popular... like Colonel Panic.

      Is this really Slashdot? :-)

    2. Re:Hah by los+furtive · · Score: 3, Funny

      Its Major Panic, BTW. Here are some other popular ones:

      • Major Disaster
      • Captain Kaboom
      • General Chaos
      • General Dissaray
      • Major Disorder
      • General Motors
      • General Electric
      • General Mills
      • Coporal Punishment
      • Corporal Feliac (think about it)
      • Major Minor
      • Sargent Major
      • Private Parts
      And the list goes on and on...
      --

      I'm a writer, a poet, a genius, I know it. I don't buy software, I grow it.

    3. Re:Hah by sharkey · · Score: 5, Funny
      your Stewardess today will be Steve Ballmer

      Better him than Clippy. Which would you rather hear? "Peanuts, peanuts, peanuts!" or "It looks like you're barfing! Would you like some tips on ways to hold your bag?"

      --

      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
    4. Re:Hah by B3ryllium · · Score: 4, Funny

      It's okay, I found it humorous. General Protection-Fault really needs to start explaining his actions, however.

    5. Re:Hah by EvilTwinSkippy · · Score: 3, Funny

      Oh god. The terms "Blue Screen of Death" and "System Crash" suddenly take on a much deeper meaning.

      --
      "Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
      --Dr.W.Edwards Deming
  2. the 'let's go kill people' software by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    damn, my job is so boring. I wish I was on the 'let's go kill people' software dev team.

    1. Re: the 'let's go kill people' software by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


      > the 'let's go kill people' software

      Yeah, but the pilot ain't the one that it's supposed to kill.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  3. In flight Clippy by niko9 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hi there soldier! You seem to have lost power to both engines secondary to a software malfunction, over hostile territory. Would you like me to help you reboot Windows?

    1. Re:In flight Clippy by Trevalyx · · Score: 5, Funny

      "I'm sorry, but the Escape function is disabled during reboot. Instead, you can change what I look like! Click F1 for more options."

    2. Re:In flight Clippy by FrostedWheat · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hi there soldier! You seem to have lost power to both engines secondary to a software malfunction, over hostile territory. Would you like me to help you reboot Windows?

      F-22 Raptor has encountered a problem and needs to close. We are sorry for the inconvenience. If you were in the middle of something, the information you were working on might be lost. Please tell Microsoft about this problem.

    3. Re:In flight Clippy by HillBilly · · Score: 5, Funny

      It looks like you are about to die. Would you like help?

      - Get help with dying
      - I'll die on my own thankyou.

      --
      "Go into the hall of mirrors and have a bloody hard look at yourself" - HG Nelson
  4. Too easy... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Would it be too trollish to say this brings a whole new meaning to "The Blue Screen of Death"? Yeah, I thought so too.

  5. Critical software by limbostar · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Now, admittedly, it's critical software. This is the 'let's go kill people' software."

    Man, I need to get a new job.

    --
    this is a sig.
  6. Timing by SnowWolf2003 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Control: Destroy that incoming cruise missile. ETA 35 seconds.
    Pilot: Got Radar Lock
    Pilot: Hang on - just got to reboot. Will be ready in 36 seconds...

  7. Yes, my young skywalker... by bugnuts · · Score: 5, Funny
    Now you shall witness the power of this Fully Operational Ba...
    Your program has performed an illegal
    operation and will be closed by Windows
  8. Re:Remarkably frank ... by Matimus · · Score: 5, Funny

    It disturbs me that you are disturbed by the military talking about killing people. What exactly do you think the military does? Maybe they will make it open source and you can add some code for feeding orphans.

    --
    GENERATION 25: The first time you see this, copy it into your sig on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social exper
  9. Re:What do you expect by Uber+Banker · · Score: 3, Funny

    yeah... $200mn per aircraft... if it wasn't for these damn patents they could download them for free from Kazaa...

  10. Knights of the Sky by anon*127.0.0.1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    During WWI, pilots would signal the enemy if their machine guns jammed. Then it was considered the gentlemanly thing to do for the opponent to wait until the pilot had cleared the jam before resuming the dogfight.

    I wonder if modern day pilots are going to need a way to signal their opponent that their computers are rebooting?

    --
    I am NOT a man!
    I am a free number!
  11. Redefines 3-finger-salute by SuperBanana · · Score: 4, Funny

    How about giving a whole new meaning to the term "three finger salute"?

  12. Not the first time by PortWineBoy · · Score: 5, Funny
    The original version of the A-6 Intruder had some sort of non-digital ballistics computer, the AN/ASQ-61. It evidently would freeze and require a reboot by kicking a certain area of the cockpit floor. The computer had a mechanical drum that actually got stuck and needed to be "booted" in order for it to get going again.

    Told to me by a pilot, I can't verify via a quick google.

    --

    this sig deleted by another sig

  13. Must be running windows by glen · · Score: 5, Funny

    [_] Take off
    [*] Land
    [ok](cancel)

    You must reboot your computer for the new settings to take effect...

  14. Cool! by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 3, Funny

    I can already imagine the cockpit layout of a Raptor... Altimeter, speedometer, non-functional IFF indicator, roll indicator, yaw indicator, pitch indicator, three displays for tactical data, fuel indicator, HUD, control, alt, delete...

    At least Windows would be fitting on an aircraft... It's easier to move a mouse cursor around with a joystick then to type "shutdown -r now" with it!

  15. Welcome to F22 Raptor version 3.1 by TearsForFears · · Score: 3, Funny

    Welcome to F22 Raptor version 3.1 (C)1990-2003 Microsoft Corp. Start Microsoft MiddleEast Explorer...Please Wait Target: Hussein, Saddam Located Would you like to: Copy/Delete/Return? Delete? Yes/Cancel Before you delete Hussein, Saddam, would you like to sign up for Microsoft .NET?

  16. Re:LinuxBIOS in flight computers by Loligo · · Score: 5, Funny


    Sure, it's considered unsportmanlike to shoot someone with the ";) ..." over the cockpit.

    -l

  17. Wrong by efuseekay · · Score: 3, Funny

    Trying to get a girlfriend to read /. is the most complicated endeavour undertaken by mankind.

    --
    Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
  18. A phone call to tech support... by softspokenrevolution · · Score: 3, Funny

    Pilot: (Dialing microsoft support services while cruising at mach 50,000) Come on, pick up, pick up.

    Pre-recorder message: We're sorry, all circuitys are busy now. Your call is very important to us, please stay on the line until an operator is availible.

    Pilot: (Over enemy territory and ready to drop payload, toggling switches like a madman) Damnit, pick up.

    Tech Support Person: Hi, This is Candice, how are you today. Pilot: (Engine failure light flashing) Can you can the chatter, I'm cruising over Eastern Kreblenkistan about to die at Mach 40,000.

    Candice: There's no need to be rude sir. First I'll need to confirm that you're not using a pirated copy of our software, so will you please refer to the key sticker located on your computer. Pilot: (Frustrated, going down) I can't do that, I'm sort of in a plane right now, can you just tell me how to reboot the thing.

    Candice: I'm sorry sir, but we can't be responsible for the failures of pirated software... (transmission ends, big fiery explosion)

  19. Gentoo F22/Java F22/FreeBSD F22 by dotslashdot · · Score: 4, Funny

    Java F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Starting Garbage Collector. Please Wait." Gentoo F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Compiling Sidewinder Missile..." FreeBSD F22: Pilot: Firing on target... Computer: "Sidewinder Missile is dying..."