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Red Hat Sues SCO, Sets Up Legal Fund
An anonymous reader writes "Red Hat has released a PR Newswire article stating that it intends to sue SCO Group to prove that it doesn't infringe any of SCO's intellectual property regarding the Red Hat Linux platform, and to hold it accountable for its actions and smear campaign. They've also announced the creation of a legal fund, to which they've pledged $1M US dollars to fight complaints such as these, called the 'Open Source Now' fund."
[03:35] squeeze my tail and my penis pops out.
To see SCO and sue in the same headline.
That million-dollar pledge? Will be used to pay the bandwidth costs for this Slashdotting.
(Set to the tune of Starblazers)
We're off - to see the courts,
We're leaving sense behind,
To save, the G-N-U....
Our law blazers!
Subpeona fly like distant stars,
We will litigate way far,
Showing code that should be ours
Who knows what IP we'll find?
We must - be strong and brave!
RMS - our souls will save!
If we don't - in a few years -
Linux servers, will dissappear!
Our law blazers!
Or - ah, something like that. If nothing else, we can hope for Space Cruiser Yamato to open up the Wave Gun on SCO headquarters. I would pay money so see that.
52 Weeks, 52 Religions with John Hummel
But just keep that one under your hat.
"Learning is not compulsory... neither is survival."
--Dr.W.Edwards Deming
They've thrown their HAT in the ring?
Sorry, had to say it.
Does anybody else see this coming? Just as MS is secretly behind SCO, it's going to become clear that IBM is behind Red Hat. So, if I might make the Babylon 5 analogy...
The Shadows are Microsoft and IBM are the Vorlons, while the Centauri are SCO and the Alliance is Red Hat...
Each "First One" is trying to win their side of the war using the smaller races as the pawns in their larger game.
Don't fall for it Red Hat, you're just doing what they want you to do! You got to choose to stand on your own and kick MS and IBM directly.
Although, wouldn't it be great if the CEO of Red Hat shows up with a space ship and a 50megaton Nuke to blow a hole in Z'hadum (Redmond WA.)...
If telephones are outlawed, then only outlaws will have telephones.
Buy a lotto ticket. Your odds of making money are better that way.
Hmmm, can we talk incessantly about this case instead? It certainly sounds like the courtroom scenes will be more eye-pleasing than anything we'll see in Red Hat vs. SCO.
What I'm listening to now on Pandora...
For a SWEET Publicity idea for SCO.
They and Metallica should get together an throw a "free benefit concert" for promoting "fair protections for intellectual property." They could send out mailers to their dwindelling fanbase, and invite critics to come too. And then just when the show is about to start Darl McBride and Lars could get in their matching gold plated limos and start running over the assembled crowd.
And you did all this on the exact 6 minutes between the story going front-page and your post submitted?
...
Although I agree is a good idea to support them, you should not need to troll to get attention here.
Oh, wait
Well, hey, if we want SCO to lose, just have me buy some of their stock. Whenever I buy stock from a company, their stock goes down, no matter what.
Yeah, but this actually makes even more sense.
The mouse (SCO) slaps the elephant (IBM) with its tiny gauntlet and says "I challenge you to a duel!"
The elephant carefully ponders its options, gathering data that will lead to the eventual crushing stomp and flattening of said mouse.
A top hatted party goer (RedHat) wanders by, and says "Hey, your duel is making my party a lot less fun!" The top hatted party goer smacks the mouse with his cane, and challenges the mouse ot a duel.
You could say, the mouse knew the job was dangerous when it took it. However, the mouse wasn't that wasn't too smart to begin with, IMHO.
I will not weep, when said mouse is pulverized.
Regards,
Fredrick
Yeah, this is something that the open source movement has had for a while. It used to be called the FSF. You know, the guys that want you to sign over your copyrights so they can defend them for you. I guess they spent my donation money on pizza and Bawls, because they haven't done much here.
... your OS is bloated, but your heart is in the right place.
Go RH
My mother always used to tell me: If you can't find anything nice to say, say something bad about Windows.
I'm sorry, but IBM (the company that has made billions in revenue off GNU/Linux) should be floating the bill.
Well, if Red Hat picks up a few buddies, they might do okay. Imagine a penguin army, where a little Red Hat penguin has beefy 320-pound IBM and Sun penguins marching along him (I do think Sun is ultimately behind Linux, if only because they have no choice). They march to the top of a hill and see the SCO donkey and his rider, the Great Microsoft Satan, in the distance. A battle of apocalyptic scale would ensue, but, suprisingly, it turns out that the Great Satan is clinically paranoid about pengins and their "piercing black eyes" and "evil little feet" (whatever that means). The Great Satan screams like a little girl and accidentally falls off a cliff, and, for no particularly obvious reason, the SCO donkey explodes in a puff and disappears.
Or, more realistically, how about we cross-breed penguins and pirhanas and unleash the hoard on the SCO headquarters?
Healthcare article at Kuro5hin
if they do, paypal will freeze their account for some unknown 'violation' and that money will never be seen again.
Nah, man, you've got it all backwards. Microsoft is the perfect icon for capitalist greed, whereas those pinko commie bastards over at IBM are just *giving* away the software.
"In a 32-bit world, you're a 2-bit user. You've got your own newsgroup, alt.total.loser." -Weird Al
In related news...
I will also be suing SCO. Everyone reading this post, please send me $5.00.
heh heh
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
there are ways to get news other than slashdot??!! say it isn't so!
Hey, if Apple gets their own section on Slashdot, why not a SCO section? There's more SCO news these days. :-)
--GrouchoMarx
Card-carrying member of the EFF, FSF, and ACLU. Are you?
M$: "SCO, I choose YOU!!!"
IBM: "Go Redhat!!!"
Both corporations throw pokeballs into the ring and out pops Daryl and whoever from Redhat. They toss various legal accusations around and defend with evidence. Finally, as SCO looks about beaten, and looks back at Billy Gates to call him back into the pokeball, he notices Gates walking away whistling like he was never a part of it.
Buy Steampunk Clothing Online!
They were waiting for Linux World. Duh...
The legal fund is an excellent idea, money in the bank to immediately summon lawyers and lay the groundwork for a proactive defense the next time this happens.
What a great day!
Wow, a lucrative publishing contract! I don't have to be evil anymore. --Meteor
That exact multiple normally only happens with market caps in the days after a full moon during the chinese "year of the chicken", oddly enough SCO exhibits characteristics of the chicken. Strange coincedence? I don't think so.
Bad boys rape our young girls but Violet gives willingly.
> In related news...
:) :) :)
> I will also be suing SCO. Everyone reading
> this post, please send me $5.00.
Sure!
Just post your bank account number here...
In Soviet Russia, WORD spell-checks YOU!
Ok, you can kick me now.
Napster-to-go says "Fill and refill your compatible MP3 player", which is a lie. It's not MP3. It's WMA with DRM.
SCO sue's YOU! Oh wait . . . . .
Two kinds of justice in America: justice for the rich and justice for the super-rich.
...and that's a pity, because, again, that's the side were the money is made.
So instead of both of those, please put your money to use and have a pizza payed for and delivered to my house. You will be added to my friends list on delivery of the pizza.
You don't really want to see the slashdot effect materialize as pizza, do you?
Like what I said? You might like my music
and now we know where Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf got off too
IBM is no more philantropical or free software friendly than SCO.
Philantropical - adj. - of or related to the act of giving assets to charitable organizations while simultaneousl living in a warm, humid climate.
SCO's CEO threatend to respond:
l
Of course, we will prepare our legal response as required by your
complaint. Be advised that our response will likely include
counterclaims for copyright infringement and conspiracy.
http://biz.yahoo.com/prnews/030804/lam110_1.htm
1. Red Hat sues SCO and wins.
2. The damages bankrupt SCO.
3. Red Hat agrees to accept, in lieu of the cash damages, transferral of the copyrights to the original UNIX source code.
4. Red Hat dual-licences the original UNIX source, with the GPL as the new licence.
5. ???
6. You don't think I'll ruin this post with that godawful punchline, do you?
--
"SCO did not respond to Red Hat's letter {requesting that SCO explain the bases for its allegations regarding Linux}, except to make a telephone call seeking to have Red Hat pay for an unneeded UNIX license."
Darl: Hi, is Matt around?
Operator: Matt who?
Darl: Umm, I'm not real sure how to pronounce it... Matt, uh, SSS-Zulick?
Operator: Hold on...
(telephone ringing)
Darl: Chris, can you believe these fuckers are suing us?
Chris Sontag: Well, you know, once we get into court and show them what we showed the analysts under DNA-
Darl: Chris, you're an idiot. Shut up.
Female Voice: Hello, you've reached the office of Matthew Szulick. How can I help you?
Darl: Uh, yeah, is Matt in?
Matt's Admin. Asst.: I'm not sure. I can check for you. May I ask who's calling?
Darl: Yeah, this is, uh, Darl McBride. From SCO?
Admin: Please hold.
(Muzak)
Darl: Chris, I'm gonna put this on speaker for a moment.
(pause)
Isn't that the IBM corporate song?
Chris: No... I don't think so. It's "Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head", isn't it?
Male Voice: Matt here.
Darl: (fumbles with speakerphone switch) Hey, Matt, how are you? It's Darl McBride here, from SCO.
Matt: Yeah, Darl, what do you want?
Darl: Look we got your letter here...
Matt: Uh huh
Darl:
Matt: What did you have in mind?
Darl: Well, I've got this Unix license I could sell you real cheap, just between friends, I mean, hey, we're both CEO's here...
(click)
Darl: Matt? Matt, are you still there?
heh!
Bet thats the first time Novel's ever been called 1337.
Couldn't they do it the other way?
SCO: I have you now!
Redhat: Look!(pointing at IBM ) It's Godzilla!
SCO: Whu...?
Redhat knocks SCO out while he is looking at IBM.
I can dream, can't I?
I can't afford a sig!
A lawyer is as good as his case.
So true. Another good old chestnut is:
If you have the facts, pound the facts. If you have the law, pound the law. If you don't have either, pound the table.
GF.
Lots of petrified grits
"Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, SCO's accusers would certainly want you to believe my client was lieing about their software patents and copyrights, and they make a good case. Hell, I almost felt pity myself. But Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider.
Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk who carried a gun and ran from the mob. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it. That does not make sense. Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor with a bunch of two-foot-tall Ewoks. That does not make sense. But more important, you have to ask yourself what does this have to do with this case.
Nothing. Ladies and Gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case. It does not make sense. Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major software company and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca. Does that make sense? Ladies and Gentlemen I am not making any sense. None of this makes sense.
And so you have to remember when you're in that jury room deliberating and conjugating the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No. Ladies and Gentlemen of this supposed jury it does not make sense. If Chewbacca lives on Endor you must acquit.
I know he seems guilty. But ladies and gentlemen this is Chewbacca. Now think about that for one minute. That does not make sense. Why am I talking about Chewbacca when a companies future is on the line? Why? I'll tell you why. I don't know. It doesn't make sense. If Chewbacca does not make sense you must acquit. Here look at the monkey , look at the silly monkey.
The defense rests."
We substituted the coffee Slashdot normally drinks with "Sandoz Crystals", Lets see if they notice the difference
CAn'T CompreHend SARcaSm?
What is this, some kind of Freudian slip? Obviously he meant to say, "I must say that your decision to file legal action does not seem conducive to the long-term survivability of SCO."