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IBM Countersues SCO, And More!

mr.crutch writes "Few details are available, but CNet is reporting that IBM has filed counterclaims against SCO. CNet also has an interview with Red Hat CEO Matthew Szulik..." Jizzbug writes "Thanks to the folks of K5, we can all obtain our rights to use the Linux kernel from SCO, and without paying up to SCO's extortion. If kernel.org kernels aren't safe, sco.com kernels certainly ought to be." LWN has a copy of SCO's Linux License for your perusal. Bruce Perens is speaking of the dangers of patent portfolios to open source software, notable because IBM's counterclaims include patent infringement. And finally, a company is selling SCO Check, a tool to de-SCOify your Linux system, if SCO ever presents any evidence whatsoever of infringing code in Linux. Update: 08/08 00:16 GMT by T : SCO's public response to IBM's counterclaim is short and to the point. Among other things, it says "If IBM were serious about addressing the real problems with Linux, it would offer full customer indemnification and move away from the GPL license." Given the other links in this story, perhaps SCO should go first on that count.

83 of 1,156 comments (clear)

  1. better and better by eyegor · · Score: 5, Funny
    Geez... this is better than watching Battlebots!

    I think that old Darl (www.tubdarl.com) bit off more than he can chew! IBM has more seasoned lawyers that specialize in patent cases than SCO has employees.

    Anyone notice that SCO's stock slipped another 11% today? heh.

    --

    Don't anthropomorphize computers, they don't like it.
    1. Re:better and better by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 4, Funny

      I can see it now, after the trial is over, and SCO is decimated, IBM's chief attorney:

      "0wn3d!!"

    2. Re:better and better by Amiga+Trombone · · Score: 2, Funny

      Part of the claim demands that SCO stop shipping all of the software infringing on IBM's patents, which is essentially all of SCO's software.

      Probably a redundant request on IBM's part. Does anyone really believe SCO is still shipping any software, anyway?

    3. Re:better and better by iceT · · Score: 4, Funny

      Part of the claim demands that SCO stop shipping all of the software infringing on IBM's patents, which is essentially all of SCO's software.

      To both customers? What is that, 2 licenses?

      They'll be devistated!

      --
      -- You can't idiot-proof anything, because they're always coming out with better idiots.
    4. Re:better and better by cosmo7 · · Score: 4, Funny

      lawyers acting for
      santa cruz operation
      no longer laughing

    5. Re:better and better by Thavius · · Score: 3, Funny

      Maybe a sign that has an enlarged version of that pic of Tux in battle gear, "Born to Frag." How about Tux photoshopped like Cats saying, "You have no chance to survive make your time."?

      No, a billboard for KY Jelly: "For when you know you're going to get it..."

      Or you could make a 20' tall Tux, with an angry look on his face, appear in the road in front of their driveway. That'll spook 'em good.

    6. Re:better and better by H310iSe · · Score: 5, Funny

      I have a suggestion I posted on the poll yesterday: Linux users can bring SCO to the ground with a massive call-in program! 1-800-726-8649. Everyone call and talk to the nice people at SCO about giving them money. They'll love all the time you spend on their 800 line. They'll love the time you spend with their sales staff. Request information be mailed. Request callbacks. Suggest you may want to pay in cash and ask if you can bring it by their office. I welcome other fun ideas, anyone?

      I, of course, called. They put your name in a queue for a sales call-back. I said I had a couple linux boxes, and they haven't called back, so I think, in order to be effective, you need to front like a big linux shop (or at least medium-sized one). I'm calling back under a different name and call-back number as the head of a subcontractor to Industrial Light and Magic or something...

      --
      closed minded is as closed minded does
    7. Re:better and better by rot26 · · Score: 2, Funny

      breakup w/girl of 2 years

      So it wasn't ALL bad, huh?

      --



      To ensure perfect aim, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target
    8. Re:better and better by XO · · Score: 3, Funny

      HMm. suggestions...

      All your assets are belong to us!

      0wn3d!!!11!

      1b|\/| 0wnzorz j00!

      August is National Anal Sex Month! So take it like a man, Darl!

      Don't fuck with the skinny guy!

      --
      "Champagne for my real friends - and real pain for my sham friends!" http://ericblade.postalboard.com/
    9. Re:better and better by JudgeFurious · · Score: 5, Funny

      I don't think IBM is finally opening their patent portfolio. I think the damned thing is so big that they've been going through it since SCO first started making noise and they've just now reached some entries in it that are applicable.

      When you say "patent portfolio" and "IBM" together in the same post I get this mental picture of the warehouse from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. They've probably got a small mountain of stuff in there they can destroy SCO with. It just takes them a while to dig it out. It's like getting the Death Star in range, it takes a little while but once it's there you're done.

      --
      Appended to the end of comments you post. 120 chars.
  2. Finally by Trigun · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hope SCO managers cashed in ALL of their stock.
    Sco is going down like Justin Timberlake at a Nambla meeting!

  3. Oooh, the front page. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Generally, I would say that linking to a 25 meg file from the front page of Slashdot is unconscionable. But in this case, perhaps it should be seen as an act of patriotism.

  4. SCO Check by mopslik · · Score: 4, Funny

    And finally, a company is selling SCO Check...

    I'd be more than happy to sell my own de-SCO-ifier program for a mere $699 per license.

  5. SELL SELL SELL by freedommatters · · Score: 4, Funny
    sell your shares in SCO and IBM, buy shares in the lawyers!!!

    (i am not a lawyer and any advice given here is purely to take the piss out of everything and everyone, i will not be held responsible for anything, even my own actions)

  6. K5 /.ed by Enigma2175 · · Score: 1, Funny

    Hmm, 4 comments and I can't get to Kuro5hin. Mirrors?

    --

    Enigma

    1. Re:K5 /.ed by watzinaneihm · · Score: 2, Funny

      That settles it . We have finally decided who is the King. We have Slashdotted Kuro5hin , SCO and kernel.org all at once.
      Good thing they did not link to IBM.

      --
      .ACMD setaloiv siht gnidaeR
  7. De-SCO by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just bought a tool for $699 to De-SCO my windows 98 box. I'm not taking any chances.

    I recommend you all buy the utility, the website is http://www.caldera.com/

    1. Re:De-SCO by WCMI92 · · Score: 5, Funny

      SCO will invoke the DMCA's provision arguing that DeSCO unencrypts their profit algorhythm. And a Norweigein teenager will be tried for it.

      --
      Corporatism != Free Market
  8. SCO responds by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Darl McBride: "We can't comment on the action yet. Our attorneys are still reviewing the court filing."

    No Mr. McBride, your attorneys are already dead

  9. You slashdotted K5, that's not very nice :( by photon317 · · Score: 2, Funny

    n/t

    --
    11*43+456^2
  10. Haha by brsmith4 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Looks to me that big blue wont have to buy SCO. They will simply be awarded what's left of the company as a settlement. How poetic.

  11. I, too ... by DogIsMyCoprocessor · · Score: 5, Funny
    have a program that determines if any infringing SCO code is present in your Linux system -

    /usr/bin/false

    --

    "And this is my boy, Sherman. Speak, Sherman." "Hello." "Good boy."

    1. Re:I, too ... by Anonym0us+Cow+Herd · · Score: 2, Funny

      Your program is a clear violation of the DMCA.

      --
      The price of freedom is eternal litigation.
  12. AT LAST. by codexwriter · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comments should be informative... but all I can think to write is. BWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. IBM to SCO. -"There can be, Only One."

  13. Munch munch by IWantMoreSpamPlease · · Score: 1, Funny

    Pass the popcorn will ya? This is getting good!

    --
    So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
  14. How is SCO's Lawsuit affecting sales of Linux? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    If I were a CIO or CTO debating the TCO of *nix vs. Win2K3 to a CEO, would IBM vs. SCO be the TKO that stops the CEO from approving A/P to pay my PO for RH's LGX?

    FWIW, even if OSS is FAIB, if the DOJ considers *nix IP with a TM, then it basically become's SCO's LIC, meaning our OSS becomes a CSS OS, which would RSTBO.

    AIBO going w/ an ASP that manages our OS? BTA, we might end up w/ a BOFH giving us ZA, which WWAD PMS.

    AFAIK, INMP if SCO wants to be ITM by enforcing its supposed IPR - *nix IP should be PD or GNU, like BSD just on GP, IYKWIM. I keep asking myself in this situation - WWLD?

    Oh, BTW - IITYWIMWYBMAD?
    ---
    sorry, i just *had* to ;p

  15. Wow by pogle · · Score: 4, Funny

    Finally some decent action outta Big Blue. And coming soon, 1200+ /. comments to keep me busy reading for the rest of the day!

    --
    http://thechubbyferret.net - Ferret pictures and informative links.
  16. Hmmm.... this wasn't in the plan! by Picass0 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Hey Dale!!!!

    I don't think IBM is going to buy your company!

    This isn't working out like you wanted, is it?

    If I were at IBM, I would have seen to it that we mentioned four patents are being infringed, but SCO will have to agree to our terms to find out what they are.

    1. Sue IBM
    2. ???????
    3. Run for your life!

  17. Burn SCOX Burn! by WCMI92 · · Score: 3, Funny

    http://investor.news.com/Engine?Account=cnet&PageN ame=QUOTE&Ticker=SCOX

    If the theroy holds, that every negative thing that causes SCaldera stock to fall prompts an even MORE bizzare release from SCO to get it back up, I wonder what we'll get by this evening?

    SCO claiming that because AT&T once owned Unix that everyone with a phone owes them $700 for a license?

    --
    Corporatism != Free Market
  18. SCO is dying by gumpish · · Score: 1, Funny

    It is official; Slashdot now confirms: SCO is dying

    One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered SCO Group when IBM and SuSE confirmed that SCO is full of shit. Coming on the heels of a recent RedHat lawsuit which plainly states that SCO has been spreading lies, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. SCO is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in karma rankings on Slashdot.

    You don't need to be a Kreskin to predict SCO's future. The hand writing is on the wall: SCO faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for SCO because SCO is dying. Things are looking very bad for SCO. As many of us are already aware, SCO executives continues to dump their shares. Red ink flows like a river of blood.

    SCO is sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If SCO is to survive at all it will be among Slashdot trolls. SCO continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, SCO is dead.

    Fact: SCO is dying

  19. Re:SCO Stocks Tumble... by LilMikey · · Score: 4, Funny

    I bought a single stock that I'm donating to the Darwin awards. First place is a lock for these jokers.

    --
    LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
  20. Re:Oooh, the front page. by EnglishTim · · Score: 5, Funny

    Odd - I'm still getting 191KB/second - Come on, Slashdotters, you can do better than that!

  21. Re:the Kuro5hin instructions by LilMikey · · Score: 2, Funny

    Come on... if you want to run a legal kernel it's:

    [Enter][Enter][Enter]
    shutdown -r now


    The reboot is optional.

    --
    LilMikey.com... I'll stop doing it when you sto
  22. Re:Finally by ihummel · · Score: 1, Funny

    He's a witch! BURN HIM!

  23. Re:Finally by Trigun · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hoo-Boy. And here I was, starting to get upset that IBM and Red Hat were doing nothing to stop the fudwar.

    Man, can IBM bitchslap or what? Not only are they targetting SCO, they're targetting the managements pocketbooks as much as possible. If that entire Novell blocking the revocation of the AIX licenses is true, then the shareholders have a beef which could ultimately lead to a class-action.

    IBM for President!!!

  24. Probably not the best... by Omicron32 · · Score: 5, Funny

    IBM: Do you hear that, Mr. SCO? That is the sound of inevitability. That is the sound of your death. Goodbye, Mr. SCO.

    SCO: Oh shit.

    1. Re:Probably not the best... by cant_get_a_good_nick · · Score: 4, Funny

      SCO: SO, do you expect me to talk?
      IBM: No, Mr. McBride, I expect you to die...

  25. Re:Litigate 'till CSO runs out of money? HAH! by kalidasa · · Score: 5, Funny

    I believe it [the IBM anti-trust case] was settled by Nixon appointees early in the Carter administration. "ran out of money" is of course facetious

    Don't remember the Carter years too well, do you? "Ran out of money" isn't that bad an exaggeration!

    :-) Couldn't help it

  26. Re:I choose the wrong job! by MisterMook · · Score: 4, Funny

    All the money to be made in all industries is made by lawyers, didn't you get the memo?

  27. I found the code by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    It is i++ guys, it is every where. We are doomed

  28. Poor Darl by SLot · · Score: 4, Funny

    I bet he's very "disappointed" that IBM countersued.

    Heh.

  29. someone had to say it ... forgive me please ... by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 5, Funny


    McBride: What happen?
    Ballmer: Somebody set up us the bitchslap.
    Ballmer: We get lawsuit.
    McBride: What!
    McBride: Main screen turn on.
    McBride: It's You!!
    BigBlue: How are you gentlemen!!
    BigBlue: All your rights are belong to us.
    BigBlue: You are on the way to bankruptcy.
    McBride: What you say!!
    BigBlue: You have no chance to survive make your time.
    BigBlue: Ha Ha Ha Ha ....
    McBride: Take off every preferred share.
    Ballmer: You know what you doing.
    McBride: Move shares.
    McBride: For great profit.

    1. Re:someone had to say it ... forgive me please ... by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 3, Funny
      "I didn't know the goatse guy posted on slashdot."

      Now I've been accused of a lot of things in my time, but this is a first ;-)

    2. Re:someone had to say it ... forgive me please ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      yeah. its always nice to 'look up an old friend...'

  30. Re:Another article,SCO can't respond to the bitchs by stephenry · · Score: 2, Funny

    By the way SCO's stock is looking i wouldn't be surprise that, in true N.Korean fashion, SCO claims tomorrow to posses Nuclear Weapons, and demand one to one talks will the capitalist-scum IBM. Either that, or something about a mighty Jihad, Saurons dark forces, the mother of all court battles, the shadows, etc...

    Anything to get those stocks back up so the execs can off load whatever shares they hadn't yet sold.

  31. Re:Litigate 'till CSO runs out of money? HAH! by sphealey · · Score: 2, Funny
    Don't remember the Carter years too well, do you? "Ran out of money" isn't that bad an exaggeration!

    :-) Couldn't help it

    Well, I did say "ran out of energy" didn't I?!?

    Anyway, that was a good riposte!

    sPh

  32. Re:Finally by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Why would Justin Timberlake have a problem with Marlon Brando lookalikes?

  33. SCO stock falling by mb12036 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Stock is down 11.25% on the day as I type this. Probably just reactionary, but still...

    Too bad, so sad.

  34. SCO Check Code by Bigby · · Score: 2, Funny

    #include <stdio.h>

    int main(int argc, char *argv[]) {
    printf("You're clean!\n");
    return 0;
    }

    1. Re:SCO Check Code by GreySeal2k01 · · Score: 2, Funny

      That'll be $699.00 please........

  35. Another one rides the bus! by AndroidCat · · Score: 2, Funny
    Another one rides the bus! And another gets on, and another gets on! Another one rides the bus! Yeah!

    Jeez, talk about your Landshark Rush! This is going to get horribly violent ... and I like it! Woo-hoo!
    Boot to the head! Na na
    Boot to the head! Na na
    Boot to the head! Na na
    Boot to the head! Na na...

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  36. Re:Litigate 'till CSO runs out of money? HAH! by LinuxTek · · Score: 4, Funny

    Not only popularized, but I'm pretty sure they're also patenting the process, and then sue SCO for another patent infringement.

    --
    Signatures are supposed to be funny?
  37. Highlights of SCO's linux licence faq... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    The whole faq is pretty funny, but these are my highlights:

    What is the SCO Intellectual Property (IP) License for Linux?
    Many customers are concerned about using Linux since they have become aware of the allegations that Linux is an unauthorized derivative work of the UNIX(R) operating system. These customers unknowingly received unauthorized copies of SCO intellectual property and many are running critical business applications on Linux. Customers have come to SCO asking what they can do to respect and help protect the rights of the SCO intellectual property in Linux. SCO has created the Intellectual Property License for Linux in response to these customer needs. Customers who are running Linux distributions on a client, a server or an embedded system can obtain a license from SCO to use the SCO IP in binary form. This license is sufficient for the end user to continue to run its operation uninterrupted.

    Does everyone who uses Linux need a SCO UNIX IP License for Linux?
    End users running Linux 2.4 or later versions for commercial purposes need a SCO IP license.

    and my personal fav:

    I have Linux servers deployed in my organization. What options do I have besides purchasing a SCO IP license?
    There are 3 options for you to evaluate:

    You have the option to do nothing, adopt a "wait and see" attitude, and hope that SCO is not serious about enforcing its intellectual property rights in the end user community.

    You can replace all servers, desktop and embedded uses of Linux.

    You can obtain a license from SCO to use SCO IP in binary form in Linux distributions

  38. Monty Python where are you? by podperson · · Score: 3, Funny

    So in summary, SCO wants us to pay to use software they claim uses stuff they own but won't tell us what it is so we can stop using it and the rights to which they gave away but claim they can take back because they didn't know what they were giving away when they gave it.

    Seems reasonable enough to me.

  39. McBride as The SCO Information Minister by TexTex · · Score: 5, Funny

    I'm starting to find more and more comparisons between McBride and the Iraqi Information Minister.

    "There are no IBM patents in SCO. Never!"
    "We have them surrounded in their servers!"
    "Let the IBM infidels bask in their illusion!"
    "We will own them all...most of them!"

    --
    -Barkeep, a draft of your most hazardous brew, for the world is slowly stepping into focus, and I don't like what I see.
  40. STOP by supe · · Score: 3, Funny

    Stop posting this shit. I'm note getting any work done!

  41. Re:Oooh, the front page. by Some+Dumbass... · · Score: 3, Funny

    Why is it K5 gets the credit for posting the link to SCO's linux source? I already did it here on slashdot back in July

    You should have patented the idea.

  42. Ohh I can't wait!! by quantaman · · Score: 3, Funny

    This is awesome news! Not only from the fact that IBM is getting in on the action with a countersuit but every time someone takes a shot back at SCO you know SCO comes out with some bizarre claim/lawsuit to trump it! When Redhat sued SCO decided to start selling licenses for everybody who used linux, when SuSE joined in they went after the US government!!! Now that IBM is countersuing them just try to imagine what we're going to see from SCO in the next couple days. Sue the Catholic curch? Sue everybody who is running linux in a RIAA style attack? I mean I can't even imagine what they'll do.

    Okay here's my idea, get a press pass and get some film from the press conference, add a laugh track and we'll have a sitcom good enough to fund linux development for the next 10 years!

    --
    I stole this Sig
  43. No way by siskbc · · Score: 2, Funny
    Geez... this is better than watching Battlebots!

    No. I'm sorry. Nothing is better than watching Battlebots.

    --

    -Looking for a job as a materials chemist or multivariat

  44. Re: SCOX and shorting by Black+Parrot · · Score: 5, Funny


    > Another method used in shorting is "Borrowing." This is where an investor can sell someone else's stock, buy it back later at a cheaper price, and give back to the person who originally owned it.

    Yeah, sometimes I do that with other people's cars, on weekends.

    --
    Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  45. IBM code by WhytTiger · · Score: 2, Funny

    Although I realize that IBM may sue me for copyright infringement, I thought I would share with you their latest piece of code. Perhaps the OSS community could incorporate some of this code in their future dealings with other companies.
    do
    {
    bitchslap(szCompanyName);
    }while(FUD);

    --
    My Sig Beat up your Honor Roll Sig
  46. Lawsuits lawsuits everywhere... by MacGod · · Score: 2, Funny
    But not a drop to drink.

    Man, now I'm getting so excited I want to sue somebody!

    C'mon, mom, can I? Can I? All the other nerds are doing it!

    --
    "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one " -Albert Einstein
  47. Re:Finally by siskbc · · Score: 4, Funny
    Man, can IBM bitchslap or what? Not only are they targetting SCO, they're targetting the managements pocketbooks as much as possible. If that entire Novell blocking the revocation of the AIX licenses is true, then the shareholders have a beef which could ultimately lead to a class-action.

    Oh yeah. Been waiting for this, the official "other shoe," to drop for months.

    Seriously, what was SCO expecting? On a ranking of groups not to piss off...

    999,934,953,021: PETA

    999,934,953,020: FSF

    127:GNAA, San Quentin Prison Chapter

    2: Colombian cocaine cartels

    1: IBM

    Shoulda seen this coming.

    --

    -Looking for a job as a materials chemist or multivariat

  48. Re:SCOX and shorting by someguy42 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Aww, c'mon! It's easier than that to short stock! All you have to do is connect the positive end to the negative end...

    --
    The probability that someone is watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your actions.
  49. Understatement... by frozenray · · Score: 5, Funny

    From SCO's quarterly report:

    "There is also a risk that the assertion of our intellectual property rights will be negatively viewed by participants in our marketplace and we may lose support from such participants."
    This, Ladies and Gentlemen, has to be the understatement of this century, if not of this millennium.
    --
    "There are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is NOTHING like Shakespeare." - Blair Houghton
  50. Re:We need to start planning now to buy SCO by Nonillion · · Score: 2, Funny

    I agree, SCO used to be cool. But now they are the scurge of the earth. Lets buy them and change it to Start Coding Openly. :)

    --
    "I bow to no man" - Riddick
  51. classic blunders by shis-ka-bob · · Score: 3, Funny

    Vizzini (aka McBride): Ha ha, you fool! You've fallen victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less well known is this - "Never go in against IBM when intellectual property rights are on the line!" Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha h-! (falls over dead)

    --
    Think global, act loco
  52. /me editoriali[sz]ing. by Kickasso · · Score: 2, Funny

    All your codebase are belong to us.

  53. Let 'em duke it out in true Geek style by Ridgelift · · Score: 4, Funny

    SCO sues IBM, Red Hat sues SCO, IBM sues SCO, et cetera, ad nauseum, ad infinitum.

    I say forget the legal process. It's too slow. Let's get each company to build their own BattleBot and go on Robot Wars to settle this whole mess. Just imagine: "Big Blue", a huge flipper bot flinging "SCObot" through the air while a big red bowler hat smashes into SCO at every opportunity. Chunks of metal flying, flames licking up from dismembered metallic remains.

    Ah I love the smell of burnt electric motors and battery acid in the morning!

  54. Re:Finally by lone_marauder · · Score: 2, Funny

    On a ranking of groups not to piss off...

    • 2: Columbian cocaine cartels
    • 1: IBM

    Wow. If the Columbian Cartel tools around in Blue SUVs and shoots at you with uzis, I wonder what the IBM gang car is?

    --
    who are those slashdot people? they swept over like Mongol-Tartars.
  55. Who knew SCO could field such a force? by Godeke · · Score: 2, Funny

    http://english.peopledaily.com.cn/200308/07/eng200 30807_121861.shtml

    --
    Sig under construction since 1998.
  56. Next step for SCO... by mikeg22 · · Score: 2, Funny

    sue God!

  57. Re:Unspecified? by sjbcfh · · Score: 2, Funny
    > BM is seeking unspecified monetary damages...
    Wait a second. Did you just call them a "B.M."?

    Well, you gotta admit that, right now, IBM is the shit.
  58. Re:READING BETWEEN THE LINES by Theatetus · · Score: 4, Funny
    that the license is fallacious because they keep referring to the

    You're close. It's actually fellatious in that the more they push that license the more I want to shove my dick in their mouths.

    --
    All's true that is mistrusted
  59. Re:READING BETWEEN THE LINES by 11223 · · Score: 4, Funny

    It's actually fellatious in that the more they push that license the more I want to shove my dick in their mouths.

    That doesn't sound like such a wise idea. I'd bet SCO bites.

  60. Weak. Only four patents? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    From the article:
    "IBM also argues that SCO software violates four IBM patents"
    Only four patents? Quite disappointing, considering IBM's army of lawyers and piles upon piles of patents. They must be using trainees to handle it or something.
  61. Re:SCOs responses by ENOENT · · Score: 3, Funny

    Muhahaha!

    SCO: Have at you!
    IBM: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
    SCO: Oh, had enough eh?
    IBM: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!
    SCO: Yes I have.
    IBM: Look!
    SCO: Just a flesh wound!

    I would say that SCO doesn't have a leg to stand on.

    --
    That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
  62. Re:If something really, really bad by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    Sounds like SOMEONE NEEDS A HUG


    Now return to your HAPPY place. Ahhh, now isn't that better? Yes. J-Lo's there, and Baflack fell down a sink hole or something... She calls your name. Happy-happiness fills your thoughts... Ah yes... :)


    Wake up! Your keyboard's getting sticky! NOT THAT friggin' HAPPY!

  63. SCO in Dire Straits, getting Money for Nothing? by Tsu+Dho+Nimh · · Score: 3, Funny

    Arrgh - I've been bitten by the parody bug. My apologies to Dire Straits, and it's not my fault.

    Money for Nothing

    Now look at them SCO-yo's that's not the way to do it
    They say we're infringing on their IP.
    It ain't workin' the way they try to do it
    They're getting nowhere, lawsuits ain't free.
    No it ain't workin', not the way they do it
    Lemme tell ya them guys are dumb
    They gots a lawsuit from them RedHat people
    And a 'nuther from that IBM.

    You gotta buy their UNIX license
    Or else they gonna sue you guys
    They gotta keep that FUD stream flowing
    They gotta keep that stock price high.

    See little Darl with the options and delusions
    He's got no braincells under his hair
    That little Darl wants his own jet airplane
    Little Darl wants to be a millionaire

    You gotta buy their UNIX license
    Or else they gonna sue you guys
    They gotta keep the FUD stream flowing
    They gotta keep that stock price high.

    I shoulda learned to play the market
    I shoulda learned to pump and dump
    Look at them, they got all those profits
    Man I could have some fun
    Darl's up there in Utah making lawyer noises
    Bangin' out lawsuits like a chimpanzee
    It ain't workin' the way they try to do it
    They're getting nowhere, lawsuits ain't free.

  64. more haiku by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    see darl mcbride
    I B M fills all his holes
    with lawyer penis

  65. No threat by headonfire · · Score: 2, Funny

    /* Intellectual Property Buster v1.0 (IPbuster.h) Include this in your kernel to prevent that nasty SCO licensing business. */

    /* Since SCO refuses to release the code in question so that we may not replace it with clean code, I hereby symbolically delete all non-GPL SCO Corporation code from this kernel. Deleted section begins below. */

    /* BEGIN */





    /* END */

    /* IP Buster v1.0 (C)2003 Headonfire, all rights reserved. Not for redistribution. */

    ----------------
    *cough cough* Damn.

    Anyways, just kidding about the license. It's really GPL!

  66. Which end is up? Hee Hee Hee.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Which end is up?
    More evidence that this remains unknown in the alternate universe known as SCO.

    On their website, SCO's display of "unity" with other Linux companies is beyond ironic,
    and fits nicely with the continuing public FTP of the Linux code SCO is attacking!

    SCO is so cah-loo-less that their "United Linux" web page still has a link to SuSE:
    http://www.sco.com/unitedlinux

    After clicking on the SuSE logo, you can read SuSE's opinion of the actions of their "partner":
    http://www.suse.com/us/company/press/press_release s/archive03/sco_redhat.html

    Besides greed and belligerence, the general state of consciousness seems to be sub-comatose at SCO.
    (Of course, that's not news.)

  67. Oh. by Captain+Entendre · · Score: 2, Funny

    In that case, it's been a pleasure doing business with you.