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Iceman Otzi was a Fighter
Theatetus writes "Yahoo! News is running a story from USA Today that Otzi the iceman's murder is more complicated than we thought. It seems Otzi had blood on his clothes and knife from four different people in patterns that suggested he took out two with his bow and carried a wounded or dead person over his shoulder. I sense an action movie in the making..." If you don't remember Otzi, read the original story.
... The Straight Dope
I can see it now! It's got action! It's got Drama! It's got this hot, sexy half-naked female co-star! Throw in some young stud like Vin Deisel as Otzi, and we've got a surefire winner!
Alright, who's with me to bid on the movie rights?
Karma Whoring for Fun and Profit.
Since this murder case is still open, I suggest we get together and frame Darl McPrisonBride for it.
with his leathered 5000 yr old skin, his bronze axe, knife, quiver, his grass cloak (usually worn by heardsmen until the last century) and series of wounds (did I mention self-ritualized death?).. Otzi reminds us that life in the alps is cold, dangerous, and just not worth it. (for it, see *MURDER*)
btw.. i think it's great that they used the pollen (which various form found are only released in Autumn) to figure out what things were like when he died. Harsh, autumn is in the alps.. he was fighting many men for days at a time in dead brutal conditions.. RAD.. go otzi
p
** "It's not my job to stand between the people talking to me, and the ones listening to me." -- Pego the Jerk
Tanking is a bitch.
He had blood on his back from one person, and blood on his knife from two more. So the theory is he carried a wounded friend, and fought two assailants. His own DNA set is included in the count of 4. I saw the first discovery show they did on him, was pretty neat. Looking forward to the next one.
ERROR: Geek reference assigned an unknown value. Subscriber status will be revoked.
-- Fighting mediocrity one bad post at a time.
you can tell from how well the bruises on his hips were healed.. among other injuries, and also, he died slowly.. he ritualistically placed a few items in a pattern below his chest.. they remained there perfectly until he was moved for study
p
** "It's not my job to stand between the people talking to me, and the ones listening to me." -- Pego the Jerk
Whatever! Sounds to me like he had smacked his would-be wife over the head with a club, and was about to drag her back to his cave, when three ninjas jummped out from behind a rock and started freeking out. Sadly ninjas live the life of the sword, and came to a fitting end. Even if this sword was just a pointy knife.
-makoffee
...you are an archeologist and would like a good cry.
It's a bit boring and slow at times, but overall pretty interesting. The most memorable piece of the book describes hikers and local police/government types hacking at the ice and mud that Otzi was frozen in, irreparably damaging the corpse...breaking the bow (& arrows) in half by snapping it off in the ice when trying to pry it out of the frozen muck. The initial discover of Otzi was nothing less than a tragedy for science.
The book also discusses in detail all the political BS that went along with the discovery...whether he was found in Italy or Austria and who really "owned" Otzi. One big mess, really...
Maybe he should run for Governor of California.
* rimshot
Just raise the taxes on crack.
He's a distant ancestor of John Oconnor.
In the all-Irish universe where O'Dyson builds O'SKYNET and unwittingly unleashes the O'Terminators?
"I'll be back, ye swags!"
The coolest voice ever.
simple story... he is a fighter...
Conclusion: He failed his last saving throw.
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
... and what level?
4?
5?
Gashes, arrow wounds, wow, he definitely had more than 10hp!
Nice Fortitude saves, too
[Error 407: No signature found]
Scientists discover 5,300 year old, mumified, Italian badass.
Next season on NBC:
Law and Order: Special Caveman Unit
Come on, he has a knife and a bow, is dressed in leather armor, so he must be a RANGER!
Mode (3) smart-aleck mode. Press * to return to main menu.
Yeah I know, "not a neanderthal at all", but I couldn't resist the alliteration.
"Otzi" is a nice cute name. Maybe if they'd named him something like "Shiv" or "Kane" people's imaginations wouldn't bestow such benevolent traits upon him automatically.
Maybe he was a cannibal, who was carrying someone he killed back to his lair to consume, when he was attacked by the brothers of his victim, who were intent upon ending his rein of terror over the local populace.
Or maybe I'm a cynic. Heh.
Well, the article seems to suggest that the scientists concluded that Otzi had attempted to remove the arrow from his back, but only succeeded in removing the shaft, leaving the point in his shoulder.
He was found clutching his knife, with indications from cuts on his hands that he was in a knife fight. With bruises to his torso that indicate he may have been beaten.
Seems to me the evidence does seem to point to the scenario: he was shot, pulled the shaft from his body, and was in a running fight that ended with a nasty close-up knife fight, which resulted in his demise.
Derek
It's interesting how people automatically assume he was some explorer, a hero of his time.
Dig
The first conclusion was that he was walking the alps in Autmn. A sudden storm blew up and he died of Hypothermia.
The guys that proposed this theory and missed the huge (well not huge but not tiny) arrowhead stuck in his shoulder.
Then somebody grabbed samples of 5000 old turd from his anus and discovered spring pollen. So the next theory I believe was that he got into a fight, someone/s beat the shit out of him breaking his ribs and he fled into the mountains, collapsed and died of shock.
Then lo and behold somebody spotted the arrowhead. So then we get the shot in the back theaory and the rib deformation was determined to be post mortem, caused by the pressure of the ice he was frozen in.
Now because they've found bruises on his rib area , the entire Ice pressure hypothesis goes out the window and we're back to the beating, but with a twist. Blood samples on his shoulder spontaneously exagerates into a wounded wisecracking side kick. Other blood samples become ninja assassins and Otzi is now a Lowly Sheep-Hearder turned Vigilante Out for Justice(TM).
Have these guys ever heard of Ockham's Razor? I'm no foresic scientist, but this does not seem like the simplest explanation too me.
In fact this smacks of sensationlism aimed at Joe & Jane Sixpack, so these guys can grab more funding.
I work in research and if I cooked up a wild story everytime I think I've discovered the 21st Century's version of DNA, my boss would have my head.
My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle...
Otsi J. was seen driving away in a white Ford Flinstonemobile.
Ladies and gentlmen of the jury, I'm just a caveman. I fell on some ice and later got thawed out by some of your scientists. Your world frightens and confuses me! Sometimes the honking horns of your traffic makes me want to get out of my BMW and run off to the hills or whatever. Sometimes when I get a message on my fax machine I wonder, Did little demons get inside and type it? I don't know! My primitive mind can't grasp these concepts. But there is one thing I do know. When a man like my client slips and falls on a sidewalk in front of a public library, then he is entitled to no less than two million in compensatory damages and two million in punitive damages. Thank you.
While we're at it, I'm beginning to think this whole "rule of law" thing is going too far, myself. It does nothing for the sense of "vengeance" human societies were founded upon for millennia.
How many people have you met that leave you shaking your head as you walk away? They're whiny, stuck-up, self-centered, or complete assholes. It's because we aren't allowed to beat the hell out of people who fully deserve it. In a more "natural" sort of human society, being a jerk is a crime, and can get you a severe ass kicking.
Let's get rid of these silly laws and get back to the good ol' days!
(Note for the humor impaired: this post is meant only half-seriously. It is in no way an attack on the parent post, nor is it meant as a real suggestion that we return to a state of complete lawlessness. I think the parent post [and mine] have a real point to make, though. A fundamental part of our human brain evolved to handle an environment that we almost never exposed to now, and a 9-5 job is no match for beating sabre-tooth tigers with clubs. *grin*)
bytesmythe
Hypocrisy is the resin that holds the plywood of society together.
-- Scott Meyer
They'll discover that he actually had *three* arrows in him, and a cloven horn by his side. Turns out that jerk Aragorn didn't put Boromir in a boat after all.
With reasonable men I will reason; with humane men I will plead; but to tyrants I will give no quarter. -- William Lloyd