Slashdot Mirror
Astronomers Upset About Asteroid Panic
DrMorpheus writes "According to the New Scientist, astronomers are horrified by press scares over asteroids - including the recent furore over QQ47 - which briefly had a one-in-a-million chance of crashing into our planet in 2014. So much so that they are toning down the scale they use to rate the threat posed by asteroids in an attempt to discourage journalists from covering potential collisions. Some even want the way asteroids are assessed to be completely overhauled."
"History doesn't repeat itself, but it does rhyme." Mark Twain
At some point in the future, Earth will get hit by a global-killer! That's statistically probable, too! (given infinite time... well, ok... maybe we don't have INFINITE time, but... close enough for government work).
;)
Oops! Shouldn't have posted this... now the National Inquirer will have fodder to run with this overly-used story for another 10 years.
I'll start worrying about the accuracy of asteroid collision prediction after they manage to figure out how to predict rain 3 days from now with better than 70% accuracy. 8/
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice doggie!" until you can find a rock.
Reporters: The Sky is Falling, The Sky is Falling!
Scientists: STFU!
Reporters: Aw, damn.
Try to hack my 31337 firewall!
Asteroid? Not worried. Vaguely worried. Sorta worried. Kinda worried. Somewhat worried. Fairly worried. Worried. FEAR FEAR FEAR
Don't believe them!! They're trying to... hey, get out of my room!, AARRRRGHHGHH.....
[NO CARRIER]
Please stop paying attention to us! We don't need funding or publicity! Give our money to the effort to stamp out terrorist bad breath!
This sounds suspisciously like an Onion article in the making...
"Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
It's not only the astronomers who are worried about one of these things coming, it's Bruce Willis who is worried, too.
He's afraid he's going to have to wear that hideous cordoroy space-suit again and listen to Ben Affleck mope about J.Lo.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Oh wait, they are all dead, I forgot.
Where is my green/blue/yellow/orange/red?
Perhaps we should always be in an elevated state for possible impact too!
Yes, because if the big one is going to hit, there are a lot of virgins here who need to get laid before everyone dies.
Thank you. Drive through.
Problem is, so far scientists have done more to annihilate us then anything else -- or at least they're providing the tools to do so. Remember, the Nobel prize was set up by somebody that felt guilty about inventing dynamite! If we had a group of scientists dedicated to watching out for things that could potentially annihilate us, most of them would be watching other scientists! Just try getting a grant from the NSF for that!
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
10. Fox News: "TERROR FROM ABOVE!"
9. CNN: "We now go to our Washington bureau for the latest on the Bush administration's responsibility for this catastrophy.
8. PBS: "If you send us $100, you'll get this nice Yanni videotape."
7. MSNBC: "In Scarborough country, asteroids are held accountable"
6. C-Span: "Tonight on Book Chat, the author of the "Meteor" tie-in novel weighs in."
5. CBS News with Dan Rather: "This meteor will sweep through the South like a tornado through a trailer park"
4. The View: "What do you think we should wear for this?"
3. Good Morning America: "Is your pet psychic? These and more stories after the asteroid report."
2. MTV News: "With this new asteroid in the sky, Meat Loaf has a few words to say about the fact that he is no longer the biggest `Rock Star' around"
1. James Carville on Crossfire: "Ken Starr is bringing this upon us! This asteroid will kill minorities and poor children!"
0. Springfield News: "This is Kent Brockman. I for one, welcome our...."
Convincing the blond next door that an asteroid is about to hit the earth may be the only chance most slashdotters have of getting laid...
"Freedom means freedom for everybody" -- Dick Cheney
All we have to do is put a little white triangle in space that we can control on the ground using a conputer. We can then just spin it around and around and fire little white dots of light to blast the asteroids into smaller and smaller pieces...
From excellent karma to terible karma with a single +5 funny post...
I was. I put on my tinfoil hat and haven't been out of the bomb shelter since.
Why take a chance, ya know?
Most of them are right here on /.
I don't want a pickle; I just want a Motor-Cycle! A four foot cop arrived with a five foot gun!
The answer? Be american and get the dictator, then be american again and do the great thing as soon as someone else tries to do it before you...
My Systems
... be VERY afraid.
...yeah, astronomers lead such active social lives--all the extra attention was really weighing them down.
. . . by the awful news about Jo Lo and Ben Affleck.
Or was it Johnny Cash and John Ritter?
Nothing to feel bad about. Most people didn't read about the discovery of those bipedal sapient weasels in Burma because of all the ruckus over Bob Hope dying.
Stefan
Ha! That was easy! Surprisingly you use the exact same password as I do! What are the odds?! Needless to say I changed it.
Any technology distinguishable from magic, is insufficiently advanced.
I will sell, to the highest bidder, a lottery ticket in the year 2014 which will guarantee you a 1 in a million chance of winning a multi-million dollar jackpot.
Boy, the media should pick up on this story and cause some hysteria.
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Astronomers Upset About Asteroid. Panic!
But there is a solution. Start spreading the rumor that Saddam hid his cache of WMDs on Mars.
The BSD syslog Protocol already has a scale that can be adapated with a little tweaking. And then we can have notification relayed to a plethora of Syslog consoles that can take appropriate action (backup, shutdown, pager, send T101 back in time to stop it, etc). So we have:
which with a little tweaking becomesThe only downside I see is that it is the BSD syslog protocol, and I understand that BSD is dead...
Recycle PCs and build a wireless community network www.hillsborough.org.nz
Astronomers upset about journalists reporting that astronomers are upset about asteroid panic.
and I, for one, will welcome our new carbon and silicate overlords! You guys rock!
Damn right! It has never been the same since Ogg the scientist discovered how to make flint hand-axes.