Slashdot Mirror
Cockroaches Daubed With Yeast As WMD Sensors?
Our Man In Redmond writes "OK, yeah, it sounds weird, but it just might work. Researchers at Sandia National Laboratories have come up with the idea of attaching genetically-modified yeast to the back of a cockroach - or a cockroach-sized robot - and using the yeast to detect chemical or biological agents. The story's in today's Seattle Post-Intelligencer. They point out some other possible nifty uses for the yeast-based technology, like detecting diseases by having a patient blow on a piece of paper 'printed' with the yeast."
Fear not, terrorists, I've got your solution! Just make your WMD in really, really, really bright laboratories! Problem solved!
... what? Crap, I'm sorry ... gotta go ... some nice men in suits are here and need to talk about some "Patriot Act" or something ... I'll see you in about 20, I guess ...
*mumble mumble*
topreacher@signature.slashdot.org 1% rm -rf sig
" like detecting diseases by having a patient blow on a piece of paper 'printed' with the yeast."
now THAT's a blowjob
my blog
Why work on such esoteric stuff when we have tons of people sitting idle?
They can be our "smart detectors".
now we'll have groups complaining about roach cruelty...
Die First, Then Quit
1) Cockroaches fail to find evidence of WMDs.
2) Government asserts non-cooperation on part of regime under inspection with cockroaches conducting said inspections.
3) ???
4) Democracy!
Yeah, I know one "nifty" technology based on yeast: it's called "beer" and has been around for thousands of years. Hoooray for yeast! ;-)
Ahhh...the great dumpster continuum. Many a free computer will be found there. -- sowth (748135)
I suggest cockroach + robot = "cockrobot"
As an added benefit: "I, for one, welcome our new cockrobot overlords" has a nice ring to it.
Has become the new "Star Wars" angle for research. Looking for new Funding ? Unsure that it will get approved ? Well see how it could possibly be applied to WMD, it doesn't have to be sensible, it just has to be enough to get the funding. After all there are people of billions of dollars out there who can't find WMD, so your research not doing it either won't change anything.
This is for the diagnosis of illnesses, pure and simple. And at 2am in a bar when the funding review was at 10am the researchers had an idea.
An Eye for an Eye will make the whole world blind - Gandhi
Young bachelor to FBI agent: "That's not a biological weapons lab, man; that's my kitchen!
Doing my level best to piss off the religious right wing...
So, I guess I can rest assured that the guy down the road baking baguettes isn't a terrorist then? ;)
Gr@ve_Rose
!ekoj on si aixelsyD
Weapons of mass destruction. Biological outbreaks of plague. Medical sensors. Bah.
There is one purpose for which yeast, and yeast research, should be put. Beer. Better beer. Beer that tastes great, but is less filling. Beer that I can drink until snookered, then wake up from the next day, hangover free.
Beer.
Any questions?
OK this is cool You send the coachroaches out into an area where there is WMD. How do you check the yeast? Have the coachroacges on a really long leash? :)
Rus
Cheap UK and US VPS
Patient blows.
Doctor: "Ehmmm. You have herpes."
Patient: "What? One blow, and you say I have herpes?"
Haven't they learn from Hollywood movies? In the most critical moment, a bad guy will squash the spy-roach under his boot and the good guys will have to find another way to get what they want.
And when you get them back you can use them to make Vegemite
Shouldn't we still try to at least develop countermeasures instead of "taking a kick in the balls"?
Exclusive of any other effort? No. Absolutely not.
Now, if some of you monkeys decide you're big enough to address the root cause of all this terrorism, and then, as a complement, work on new technology to thwart further acts of violence, then yeah, that would be good.
But to continue to place all our faith in technology without understanding why people want to kill us? That's stupid.
Are you stupid?
By the way, here are 2,998 people who had nothing to do with America's "evil past".
Actually, the number is now 2,976, idiot. If you bothered keeping current with the news, you'd know that. And yes, ordinarily such a correction would count as picking nits, but the fact of the matter is that it's because so many of you skip reading international news that we're in this mess in the first place. You're too busy watching football or wrestling.
And so you are completely unaware as the rat monkeys who control this country continue to plunder and rape other nations, causing untold misery and grief... misery and grief which eventually finds it's expression in acts like 9/11, and who are more than happy to leave the rest of us exposed to the consequences.
Did the victims of 9/11 deserve it? No more than any of the rest of us did. We all choose to remain ignorant of the evil deeds committed by our government, so in a very real sense, yes, we are responsible.
I can only hope you were kidding when you say that the we let some of our major cities be destroyed, then use the term "rational leadership" in the next paragraph.
Of course, I didn't say that. In fact, my council here was aimed at preventing such an occurance. And if you could a) read, and b) think, you'd understand that.
Thank you for letting your stupidity screw the rest of us over.
It's people like you that make me hope that hell really exists.
Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
So, the USA not just destroys Iraqi infrastructure to stone age, they now want to flood the ruins with yeast-infected cockroaches?
No limits to human cruelty..
Lisp is the Tengwar of programming languages.
So if they are still alive when all humans are gone, we'll know it was a really, really good weapon. What? Oh...
Money for nothing, pix for free
.. welcome our new bread-making anthrax-detecting apocalypse-surviving insect overlords.
Finally, a little yeast on the back of every SCO bigwig, folks of the MPAA, RIAA, MS Employees, and most government officials...and they're useful again!
Who said we couldn't find good uses for vermin?
and with the correct software they will be able to provide "proof" that saddam actually had WMD's.
Better than letting those robots search for weapons they should be used to help rescue workers in saving lifes. I think the small form factor would make it easy to let them search for survivors under collapsed buildings after earth quakes or - as we saw in Russia lately - help examine tunnels or mine shafts for survivors after accidents. Why does research always drift in the military direction? *sigh*
".Sig Stealer" was here
Yeah, I got a question.
What about bread?
Um, to go with the beer, of course.
Someone you trust is one of us.
The discussion on the yeast in the story seems like the easy part (IANABC-I am not a Biologist-Chemist), but making a cockroach that has enough power, is controllable (either remotely or through AI), and is actually useful would be the hard part.
The civilized world has more to fear from the development of technology like this than the terrorists do. A cockroach is less of a threat to a terrorist hiding in a cave (they can find a new cave or have a pet snake to eat the cockroaches), verses nations that have nuclear powerplants, mass transit systems, and airplanes that could fall victim to a terrorist controlled cockroach-bots that likes to munch on wires/circuit boards and fuel lines.
Development of miniature cockroach robots will initially be by First World nations, but the technology will proliferate much easier than nuclear capability ever did. It would be easier to hide a cockroach-bot program than a nuclear program, and a cockroach-bot will be more useful.
mmm... cockroaches daubed with yeast...
Whence? Hence. Whither? Thither.
Won't the bad guys just buy a few cans of pyrethrin lacquer (the stuff you spray around ant holes). "I'm sorry, Mrs. Roach, but your husband is missing presumed dead. He crawled for what he believed in."
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
...it will be easy to spot the terrorist hiding WMD since they'll have huge collection of frogs, reptiles, birds and sharks with frickin' "laser" beams attached to their heads protecting their lair of WMD.
Directions:
1. Get access to your server.
2. Blow yeast on it.
3. ???
4. If yeast turns green, there's a patch coming out soon. If it turns red, well, you're screwed.
... that it's a very bad idea to mix anything "genetically modified" and "cockroach"... Mimic anyone ? Am I the only one that envisions frothing swarms of sentient, mansized, flesh eating, multiplying-at-the-rate-of-yeast-bacteriae cockroaches surging out of Manhattans' manholes ?
On a brighter note, it could also spawn a new breed of crunchy luxury beer called "Skuttlebrau"
... just have a cockroach with a tiny little camera strapped to its back go in behind the yeast roach.
i'll take 10,000 of those "monkeys" you talk about above 1 self-important pompous arrogant windbag like yourself
your arrogant attitude and dim consideration of your fellow human being is part of the problem, not the solution
you are not better educated about the problems of the world, you are merely drowning in self-righteous teenage-level cynicism about the world
you're actually a dime a dozen, and you suck
get back to us when you grow up, teenager
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
...the only W.M.D. the cockies will detect is a can of Mortein or Raid, yeast or not! Pfffssst!
Go permanent? In your dreams and my worst nightmares.
That's not a open container of beer . It's a mobile WMD detection device!
There exists no way of exchanging information without making judgments. --Bene Gesserit Axiom
Actually, the number is now 2,976, idiot. If you bothered keeping current with the news, you'd know that. And yes, ordinarily such a correction would count as picking nits, but the fact of the matter is that it's because so many of you skip reading international news that we're in this mess in the first place. You're too busy watching football or wrestling.
;-)
Actually, the number is now 2,750, idiot. If you bothered keeping current with the news, you'd know that. And yes, ordinarily such a correction would count as picking nits, but the fact of the matter is that it's because so many of you skip reading international news that we're in this mess in the first place. You're too busy watching football or wrestling.
This is not a sig.
There were no Weapons of Mass Destruction
GWB knows there were - his dad has the receipts.
First the Navy trains dolphins to swim into mines, then the gov'ment is sending innocent cockroaches into the most hazardous sites without protection! Wait until PETA hears of this.
Use the Firehose to mod down Second Life stories!
Sorry, but at this point, the idea to 'infest' a country with cockroaches because they're suspected of harboring WMDs sounds like little more than a reaaally big contract for the Orkin Man.
You are in a little twisting maze of passages, all different. You're screwed.
Do they send the cockroach with its yeasty sensors off in search of WMD, and then sit outside waiting for it to come back. Are cockroaches trainable or something. Am I missing something here?
I suppose homing pigeons have been be a bit obvious, and I guess if you send in enough cockroaches, one is bound to come back.
In other news, sales of 'Raid' have increased dramatically in the middle-east.
Now, only terrorists and "rogue" natious will have boric acid...
[o]_O
Who needs the yeast? if the cockroaches die, chaces are theres WMD in whatever building youre searching.
... Cockaroaches ARE WMDs.
"Oh good, here come the Americans with a nasty disease carrying pest which can not be killed."
Not From Concentrate.
Ok am I the only one who read the article title and thought "Windows Media Devices"? I guess cockroaches would be the best agents to find those suckers! :P
-Jason
Suddenly two years ago GWB decides that Biological, Chemical and Radioactive "dirty" bombs are now WMDs.
Let's be clear about this. Them beer-dipped roaches are not going to find any nukes ...
Actually, the number is now 2,750, idiot.
No it isn't.
That's the toll for the WTC alone.
If you bothered to read the news, you'd discover that the WTC was not the only target of terrorism on that day.
Retard.
Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
your arrogant attitude and dim consideration of your fellow human being is part of the problem, not the solution
I see, criticizing the wanton destruction of other nations/cultures constitutes a "dim consideration" of my fellow human beings.
Right.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
I wonder why I chose the term monkey. Oh yeah, that's right... thank you for reminding me.
Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
I can't tell you how many times I make that mistake.
Is this truly the only Earth I can live on?
of honest poignant cutting insightful analysis of world events
but it will all mean absolutely nothing to anyone reading your words- it will even make people who would otherwise agree with you 100% bow their heads in shame and embarrassment and a desire to distance themselves from you
as long as you continue to demonstrate your mocking, belittling, arrogant tone for your fellow human being
that tone makes you an arrogant teenager, and not one bit more
and so no one will listen to you
you either understand this concept, or you understand nothing at all: your mocking tone makes you just as bad as all of the people you hate, for that mocking tone flows from the same "i am better than you and i have the right to treat you worse" bad psychological spot as all of the behavior you see that you hate
you demonstrate the same arrogance as those you hate
think about that
if you don't understand why that is blindingly obvious to anyone reading your words and fills them instantly with disgust at your blatant hypocrisy, then you are completely lost to the debate you obviously care so much about
i said it once, i'll say it again: get back to us when you grow up, teenager, and learn some simple respect for your fellow human being, at the very least develop an ability to demonstrate a surface-level appreciation of the concept that your holier-than-thou tone flat out sucks... otherwise, you are completely irrelevant to the debate you are engaging in
simple as that
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
www.facebook.com/DareDefendOurRights
www.fairtax.org
"get back to us when you grow up, teenager"
have you grown up yet?
"you fucking retard"
apparently not
consider my talking to you to be intellectual charity, as most everyone else is not reading a word you say
intellectual property law is philosophically incoherent. it is your moral duty to ignore it or sabotage it
Say the yeast is engineered to detect human disease. Then a doctor could print up a yeast card, have a patient breathe on it and determine what illness the person has, Brinker said.
And what if you have really bad breath? Will it tell you that you have cancer? Makes you wonder.
Sig? No thanks, I don't smoke.
A friend of mine (who is a total pervert, deep into "upskirt" business and who even runs his own website dedicated to voyeurism deviation -- hi, Igor) told me recently that "an old-school shoe pinhole camera can only get us this far -- there are serious limitations which we need to overcome if we really want this industry to evolve." I am sure he could find a good use for these cockroaches as soon as they hit the mainstream market being equipped with a wireless mini camera. I can already see www.cock-roaches.com banner ads. This is really great news. (For perverts, that is.)
Sincerely,
Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
"Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."