Slashdot Mirror
Killing Cancer With a Virus
just___giver writes "The U.S. National Cancer Institute has just decided to fund multiple human clinical studies to test the reovirus. This naturally occuring virus has a remarkable ability to infect and kill cancer cells, without affecting normal, healthy cells. Here is a before and after picture of a terminal patient with an actively growing neck tumour that had failed to respond to conventional treatments. This tumour was eliminated with only a single injection of the Reovirus. Researchers at Oncolytics Biotech have shown that the Reovirus can kill many types of cancer, including breast, prostate, pancreatic and brain tumours. Human clinical trial results indicate that there are no safety concerns and that the reovirus shrinks and even eliminates tumours injected with this virus. Numerous other third party studies show that the reovirus should be an important discovery in the treatment of 2/3 of all human cancers."
Damnit, I wanted to cure cancer. Oh, well, I guess I'll just move on to the next thing on my list, stopping aging.
Until it mutates into a deadly pathogen!
They aren't going to be able to use headlines like this anymore on their stories:
Scientific study concludes that eating a lot of fast food and sitting in front of the TV makes you fat. Still no cure for cancer.
I just finished deleting all those viruses off a client's network, and *now* you tell me they can be used for good? ..oh wait
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
Hah, here I was thinking I'd have to quit. Now, I'll just get a shot and knock the tumor right out.
This is my sig.
Sure, that's what it WANTS us to think. Friendly, helpful virus. Easy to get along with virus. "I'll help save 2/3 of all cancer victims" virus.
Then when we're licking reovirus lollipops and gulping down reovirus power shakes, that's when it reveals it's true agenda: World domination.
I, for one, do NOT welcome our new reovirus overlords. Who's with me?
When you cure cancer you can release the cure under the GPL, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
Slashdotter are stupid and biased.
+1 happy citizen in all canadian cities.
Any sufficiently advanced libertarian utopia is indistinguishable from government.
The virus is found naturally in shallow pools of water
Ah, that could present a problem right there. The pharmaceutical industry industry has invested a lot of money in R&D for patentable anti-cancer drugs. If it turns out that there is a naturally occuring substance that aids some cancer patients they'll probably lobby to have it outlawed.
Coming soon: The War on Naturally-Occuring Pool-Dwelling Viruses; sponsored by your favorite big-time pharmaceutical companies.
Am I overreacting? Yeah, probably.
Great, the R.J. Reynold's organ farm!!
"Smoke up! We'll grow more!"
-- stream of did I lock the front door consciousness
"I never get colds, I never get infections, I don't gett'em! You know why? Cause I got a good strong immune system!.... When I was young, we swam in the Hudson River, and at the time, it was filled with raw sewage. We swam in raw sewage.. you know, to COOL OFF!
:)
And at that time, the big fear was polio.. No one in my neighborhood ever got polio.. EVER! You know why?! BECAUSE WE SWAM IN RAW SEWAGE! The polio never had a prayer, we we're tempered in liquid shit!"
- George Carlin
Ahh yes.. once again science proves truth in comedy.
4. Where does the reovirus come from? Reovirus is found naturally in shallow pools of water, lakes or streams or in the sewage system.
And people used to LAUGH at me when I would swim around in raw sewage!!! Who's laughing now, huh?!?
How can you exactly copyright this virus if it occurs in nature ?
I agree; copyrighting natural phenomena is outrageous. This is what patents are for.
The Umbrella Corporation.
if you notice anything weird at all, especially anything hard, [emphasis mine]
Oh man, my doctor doesn't want two appointments a day with me to discuss what happens every time I think of Natalie Portman...
No, it was frequent masterbating caused memory loss in 66% of men
[lights up a cigarette]
It's about time!
I can hear Phillip Morris (Or whatever their name is now) cheering.
Bastard. One minute I am reading Slashdot, no big deal. The next I am going OMFG better check for testicular cancer. Then it dawns on me, somewhere out there CrackHappy is probably wacking off to hundreds (thousands?) of nerds checking their balls for cancer.
Eek!
Ummm... I might be mistaken here, but that list of names at the top looks like it has been populated with columbian drug barons.
Hmm.
People that believe in their opinions don't post AC.
*picks up cluestick*
*begins inscribing on the side of it*
Despite the Crown (and I suppose 'The People') ultimately controlling the natural resources around here, that doesn't exactly mean that there's no profit motive in Canada. Capitalism lives, just with higher taxes.
*WHACK*