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Gates Comdex Keynote Shows Plans, Matrix Spoof
An anonymous reader writes "According to Eweek, Bill Gates' keynote speech at this year's Comdex showed Microsoft's 'focus on security, spam and [the] tablet PC', including a new version of its Internet Security and Acceleration (ISA) Server, an extension of the SmartScreen Technology for spam prevention, and the next version of the Microsoft Windows XP Tablet PC Edition operating system. But the showstopper was a filmed spoof of The Matrix (screencaps available here), with Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively, and including a jab at Linux."
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix. Of course, there will be bugs in the system allowing people like Neo to pop-up and hack in.
Hmm...still looks better than Revolutions.
I didn't know the Borg had a sense of humor.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
Now that is just wrong.
Wrong I tell you.
So very, very wrong that I cannot begin to fathom just how craptastically crappy this crap is.
Imagine. Using a popular culture movie to debase your competition and promote your crappy vaporware. Where do I sign up for this crap? I want off your lists. All of them. And your parent company lists too. No, don't try and sell me your product by linking it to a popular movie reference, please. Let it stand on it's own merit. Oh, you say it's all smoke and mirrors and you don't have the features I want? Too bad, no money for you, bye now.
Grrr.
Don't Ask Questions. I don't know the answers and even if I did I wouldn't tell you.
Gates and Steve Ballmer as Morpheus and Neo respectively
Um, I thought Ballmer was the fat one.
I can much more easily picture Morpheus dancing around the Zion cave shouting "DEVELOPERS! DEVELOPERS!" ad naseum, than Neo.
I mean come on!!! A more appropriate spoof would be that those two were the virus version Smith (crikey, I'm writing this now and listening to the Animatrix OST and Red Pill Blue Pill is on!!!)... yeah Longhorn would have to be the Matrix code, constraining humanity and the problem is choice: which MS don't want people to have.
Plus, the Matrix is due for a critical crash, hmm the parrallels are endless...
Are you local? There's nothing for you here!
As Switch. One of the Nebuchadnezzar crew that got killed really early on the first movie and was promptly forgotten about forever.
Isn't that dying faster than *BSD?
sulli
RTFJ.
I haven't seen it (yet) but doesn't Neo die in the movie :D
:D
Which is Neo again?
Has Comcast disconnected your Internet account? Same here. You can read about it at http://comcastissue.blogspot.com
Neo: What is the Matrix?
Morpheus: Unfortunately no one can be told what the Matrix is.
Neo: Why?
Morpheus: My tablet PC just crashed.
For the part where Agent Linux burns Bills eyes out and then he finally can see all the Linux everywhere...
Actually, that doesn't sound too different from the movie plot. Agent Smith obviously hadn't been patched because Neo exploited him immediately upon gaining Administrator access. And we learned that the Matrix must be "reloaded" periodically to fix the humans that "leak" from the main program...
End of lesson. You may press the button.
thank you bill for pusing the envelope.
2 1337 4 u!
And Neo would have to pay the Oracle $60 up-front just to talk to her over the phone.
At least you were original... oh, wait--nevermind. You were just another imitator. Please, world, I beg of you: bite styles wantonly and give credit never! That's the only way for culture to survive!
Wow, he's called "steve-o" ? The marketing / PR folks screwed the pooch a bit there.
Nothing like having one of your two most recognizable corporate officers sharing a name with a guy who's known for stapling his ball sack to his leg.
The other Steve-o
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
Larry Elison as the Oracle!
Next week, there'll be an article on how the company MS contracted to put this movie together did it with Apple iMovie or somesuch.
"Old man yells at systemd"
Uh. What? Microsoft has ALWAYS been an innovation-stifling, will fuck for money, back stabbing company. This whole thing started when Bill G got laughed out of the homebrew computer club for throwing a hissy fit over how people were copying his version of basic.
All this time I thought it was that leather trenchcoat making Laurence Fishburne look so cool. I need a mental shower now to clean the image of Bill Gates in a long leather coat.
Other than that, I know some guys that would rather choke on a blue pill that size than go Windows.
Gates plans to trap humanity in his own MS Matrix.
Let's just pray Agent Clippy doesn't learn how to copy himself!
GMD
watch this
...as Agent Smith!
If the matrix was built on a Linux platform, it would never work, because device drivers for human beings wouldn't exist.
evil adrian
Linux: A clone of Minix, itself a clone of UNIX.
UNIX: A rough implementation of Multics, written expressly so that Ken Thompson and Dennis Ritchie could port a game called Space Travel to old, cheap hardware.
Who's got new ideas now?
Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they attack you, then you win."
-Gandhi
So what stage are we at now?
Oh, yeah. I hate those LINUX Kernel Errors that pop up all the time... Who wrote that into Gnome anyway?
...lots of bugs."
I think I speak for more people when I say,"Who gives a shit?"
No, but they're sueing, claiming that the Architect, and therefore The Matrix, contains millions of lines of SCO code. (has SCO ever written any code?)