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Novell's Certified Linux Engineer
AEnertia writes "Novell have been quick in moving ahead with their recent aquisition of SuSE. I was browsing their site when I found this page describing their new certification (CLE) under their certifications programs. Looks like they are positioning their well respected certification program for their newest asset."
Your ideas are intriguing to me, and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
FUCKING FAGGOT!
How to suck cock (for gay men and straight women):
:)
I love blow jobs. Not just getting them, but giving them. It's an amazing experience. Being gay, I may not be typical for a man, however straight women generally have an even stronger aversion from dick sucking than straight men. Females not only don't know how to suck dick, they don't want to learn. They don't own the equipment, they don't understand the male drive, they don't know how a blow job feels, and they don't know how penises work. In fact, while many women have experimented with dick sucking, 90% of them don't like or don't want to try sucking dick. That's unfortunate because they are missing out on a rewarding experience. Likewise, their men are missing out on a very exciting experience. Let's face it, if you want to receive not just a blowjob, but a blowjob, you probably want a guy for a partner. Unless, of course, this guide helps transfer the carnal knowledge of pleasuring a man from a gay man to the straight women out there. If not, I hope to at least transfer this knowledge to another gay man out there.
The penis is one of the most wonderful parts of the body to suck. Nothing can compare to its size, shape, texture, warmth, taste, and its response to touch. Female breasts are rather inanimate in comparison. Their only redeeming qualities are the nipples that respond to touch, but guys have nipples too, so it's not an exclusively feminine part of the body.
It is important to give yourself a weekend of privacy the first time you try to suck off a guy. You may not be able to the first time and will need extra time the next day or two to try again. If you don't give yourself a weekend, you can end up failing and then next time you will make the same mistakes again because you will not remember what you did wrong the previous time.
You probably have noticed it's much harder to masturbate while standing up. It is much more difficult to get a guy off if he's standing up, especially if you've never sucked off a guy before. Although blowjobs are stereotypically associated with a kneeling giver, in practice, that is an uncomfortable position for the receiver as he must either sit or stand. Instead, have your partner lie down on his back on a bed (or somewhere soft and flat). Here's a good (censored cartoon) example of such a position. Note how both bodies are aligned. Note also that it will get very hot underneath a blanket of any thickness, so lose the blanket unless the room is uncomfortably cold. Use your own experiences of masturbation in private to guide you as much as possible.
Notice how the dick is not completely cylindrical, but is slightly flattened? That shape is designed to fit perfectly in the mouth. There's no way evolution could have better designed a part for sucking. Note that the most sensitive portion of the penis is the length underneath the shaft. This should clue you in on how to position yourself to suck him. You will want to scoot yourself down so that you are 1) straddling one or both of his legs or 2) kneeling beside him or between his legs. Find out what works for the both of you.
The underneath of his shaft should rest on your tongue and his penis should lie flat in your mouth. Once you take him into your mouth, try turning your head 90 degrees around his cock and you will notice that you will have to open wider to accomodate him. The wider you have open your mouth, the quicker you will tire, so make sure you align yourself for the most comfort. Likewise, your partner will enjoy it more if your tongue is in the right place.
Lick along the length of the shaft and give the tip a few licks around the ridge of the tip. Have fun. Take his tip in your mouth and suck. You may want to hold his shaft down at an angle just enough to allow his penis to enter your mouth smoothly. By now, you may notice a drip of clear liquid forming at the tip of his
That this certification is worth more than my SCO Master ACE. Cheers,
Step 1. Write code. Step 2. ??? Step 3. Profit!
I know there a plenty of smart guys around here, so maybe you can help me with this.
What is it with women and their obsession with shoes? I mean when they first meet a man, they look at his shoes and pretty much judge him based on their shine/price/quality.
Has anyone figured out what it's about?
From the Novell site:
the test
The Novell Practicum test for the Novell Certified Linux Engineer (Novell CLE) will require you to prove your Novell Nterprise Linux Services knowledge in a "real life" setting. Your knowledge of both Linux and Novell Nterprise Linux Services will be tested.
The practicum is basically a remote connection to a live server bank with Linux installed. Using the remote access session, you will be given a scenario with tasks to complete. These tasks will include configuring Novell Services on Linux, performing basic Linux tasks, and may even get into some troubleshooting.
You will need to perform these tasks just as you would in a real environment. You will be evaluated automatically on each of the servers and will you receive a pass or fail exam result. The length of the exam is estimated to be about two hours.
There is no "written" test anticipated at this time.
For once, there is nothing written, and you actually have to demonstrate proficiency! No more "wannabes" (*cough*MCSE*cough*) merley memorising and getting the Certification.
libertarianswag.com
I have over a dozen fucking novell certs and I may as well be wiping my ass with them. They'll fucking run their Linux initiative into the ground just like every other fucking thing they do. The big red N can kiss my big brown eye.
Novell's Certified Linux Engineer
Just one? Might be an uphill battle for Novell then...
The coolest voice ever.
No don't get me wrong. I don't believe in supernatural, but I do believe that the strange phenomena documented throughout the human history is real in physical sense.
I would like to put together a team of physicists, chemists, psychologists and folklorists to investigate this phenomena.
So the first thing that you see when you go to the Novell page is a guy laying on his back, arms cross behind his head.
Are they saying that we are lazy?
Treehugger? Treehugger... Treehugger!
I was checking the SCO website and came across their "SCO certified IP lawyer" certification webpage.
What do you guys think? Worth getting?
Novell do not even know the difference between Linux and an Egg but yet they show up and want to do Certifications ?
It would be like my grandmoms cake which she wrote the receipy for which she has baked for the past 40 years is now worth nothing because some indish faggots came along from nowhere stole the shit and now certifies them on their own...
Novell should first learn to walk on the Linux path and make other shit afterwards.
GO LINUX!!!
Could-a, should-a, would-a, didn't.
Bob-
The Ludwig von Mises Institute. The reasoning individuals economics
even more to be thankful about? (Score:mynuts won, no monIE here either?)
by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 30, @12:01PM (#7592801)
/. putting stuff that matters into future storIEs?
(Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 30, @11:30AM (#7592655)
just kidding?
see also: stuff that really matters/chips ahoya @ a dime # dozen?
eating it/at all? (Score:-1, Troll)
by Anonymous Coward on Sunday November 30, @10:02AM (#7592314)
?eating? in 3rd wwworld countries, for example
score: mynuts won, nothing to buy here?
Posted by CmdrTaco on Sunday November 30, @09:13AM
from the tang-makes-me-ill (how annoying that must be for us, & the folks over at tang.com?) dept.
morons write "What do you think babies aboard the ?other? side of the planet had for Thanksgiving? Roasted turkey? Wrong answer. In "less fortunate" areas, the pateNTdead eyecon0meter tells us, they had little of nothing, and gives details about space in their little bodies, where food ought to be. If the dining view, 200 miles of rough road, is unattractive, preparing 'meals' is even more so. For example, there is no food, so the babies must remain hungry for long periods at +- room temperature. And you need to avoid thinking about this scenario. The real 'stuff that matters' overview contains additional references, and includes directions by the creators, for their/yOUR newclear power, & planet/population rescue initiatives/mandates.
( Read More... | that makes sense )
consult with/trust in yOUR creators... the lights are coming up now in order to assist in the avoidance of overheating the main processor, &, facilitation of the aforementioned ncp/ppr programs/mandates.
for each of the creators' innocents harmed, there is a badtoll that must/will be repaid by you/US, as the execrabilious corepirate nazi perpetraitors of the life0cide against the creators innocents, will not be available to make reparations.
see you there? tell 'em robbIE?
Novell had a Internet track to the CNE years ago, back in the days when Netscape Enterprise Web Server ran on Netware. The classes were horrible and I feel bad for anyone that paid to take them.
It appears from the website that this is just a single 5-day course on Novell Nterprise Services for Linux (Netware File and Print and Directory Services running on Linux), not a course on SuSE or Ximian. They suggest (but do not require) that you get a LPI certification first before taking the class.
It's kind of a stretch that they are calling this a Certified Linux Engineer, since there is no actual Linux training involved, just training on Novell's product running on Linux. In fact, the course material says that you should know Linux before taking the course.
So, unfortunately this seems like yet another empty certification, and shame on Novell for calling someone a Certified Linux Engineer when all they did was take a 5-day course on one of Novell's Linux products.
- "When you want something with all your heart, the entire universe conspires to give it to you" -Paulo Coelho
This is not a troll. It is the truth. Novell ruins everything they do. This is most honest thing I have heard all year. If you think this is wrong look at their track record and financials you lazy fucks.
Dear god, Linux was mentioned on Slashdot! Bring on the follow jokes which we heard oh so many times:
1: SCO jokes
2: Cluster jokes
3: Microsoft jokes
Can't Slashdot think up any new jokes? Of course not.
Fortress of Insanity
I was perusing IMDB to find something to troll with and I came across this gem. If anyone has this on VHS, PLEASE!!!! capture it to DiVX or MPEG2 and put up a bit torrent link!!! If only for the historical value!
Okay, for all (three) of you who don't already know Linux, and who aren't interested in the "Novell" portions of this class, I'll be teaching GNU/Linux for the bargain price of (oh, it pains be to quote a figure so high) only $1,000 for a five day course!
Step right up!
If you're a bright class we might even get to advanced topics such as systems administration or software development with GCC and vi!
bitch
This cert from Novell has been on their site for a while now. But it seems that there's more substance to the LPI cert. But the industry has heard of Novell and not of LPI, so if you're into getting certs, both of them are probably appropriate.
What I think is better is the combination of the LPI and UL training for the SUSE certification. Seems as it's the meatiest path of them all....
-m
http://www.invisik.com
BTW, its pretty lame dissing on MCSE's- the paper ones generally get exposed in the real world, and since there are lots of us out there who can fix most NT issues with our eyes closed, I can very much say a real MCSE is an asset to any company. Its not like there arent paper CCNAs, CNAs, etc.
But its easy to make fun of someone else, especially when they can fix things you cant; most *nix people just wave their hands and complain about Microsoft instead of actually *fixing* the Windows servers. Its a poor craftsman who blames his tools.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
Damn, we're behind already...
I went to a real engineering school to learn Computer Engineering (a 4 year EEE + CS program), and every time I see a company create a certification program that takes less than a month to become an "engineer", well... it makes me cringe. I know in other parts of the world that it's not legal to abuse terminology like that, and wish the US would adopt some similar standards. This dilutes the prestige associated with earning an actual engineering degree (really, there is some!).
I know the difference between a real engineer and a fake one, but I'm not so sure the average guy on the street understands the distinction. I also suspect people in hiring positions give a lot more weight to a certification that pretends to be an engineering degree than they really should.
Willi Hitler, now that is some funny shit :)
Oh great. Another reason for non-engineers to call themselves engineers.
The Novell page doesnt seem to reference how long the cert is good for - even in the faq..
Anyone know?
GPL'd web-based tradewars themed space game
This has been available for at least 6 months now. Sleep well.
open (SIG, "</dev/zero"); $sig = <SIG>; close SIG;
Some guy who gets the NCL cert, might be called "The Man From Uncle"?
:P
Ancient TV show for the youngin's; those who watched it are probably groaning to realize their age..
What is an engineer in your book?
Someone who jumps through all the various PE exams and pays dues to some organization every year?
Certified Linux Information Technologist?
Here we have something called common sense. If you hire someone who isn't qualified to do the work of someone with an engineering degree then its your fault.
Novell mentioned it was comming in '02 and announced it at Brain Share '03.
The only reason to have a certification is to be able to prove to someone who doesn't have a clue about computers that you might know what you're doing, ie: it's something to flash the HR lepton who has concocted a bunch of hiring "qualifications" that they themselves don't understand. I've held an MCSE for nearly 5 years now and I still have yet to be asked to produce it. I'm just glad somebody else paid for it. A certification is no replacement for the problem solving skills that only experience can teach you, but try telling that to some HR drone. That's one of the reasons I decided to go the self-employed route. For some weird reason, it's a hell of a lot easier to bid a support contract for a company than it is to get hired by them, even though you may be doing the exact same thing for more money!
You're using her as bait, Master!
The CLE program was well underway long before SuSE was acquired, the certification is to test candidates knowledge of running Novell services for linux (which is now in beta testing, and we here are a beta site). As you probably know by Netware 7.0 Novell has the intention to offer all services on either the netware kernel or linux kernel. That is what this certification is about, not SuSE, please get the facts straight.
In every case I have seen, including folks who had thier MBA paid for by a employer, as part of the hiring package when they moved to a new company the new employer bought out the contract. If an new employer really wants you then they will do what it takes to get you. Note also that in some cases retraining is covered by student loans or other aid and in the US can also be tax deductable. There is more than one way to handle retraining expense.
putting the 'B' in LGBTQ+
Why do you think SuSE is 1,000 times better than redshat?
Comment: Yes I realise the username 'fuckfuck101' makes me sound intelligent, no you cannot buy it from me.
Hmmm. Any old timers remember the 60's spy show "The Man from U.N.C.L.E."? Now we have the man from N.C.L.E. It would be quite fitting to show up to work in a Tuxedo.
I suggest that any good technically competent person is lazy, and someone I'd rather hire. Put yourself in a supervisory role for a moment. Who would you rather hire:
The second person, disliking the "fireman" syndrome so common in support departments, would have to be defined as lazy in that he/she is disinclined to work putting out fires. One can argue that the time spent in preventing the fires in the first place disqualifies the person from being called lazy. It's a shame that upper management tends to look at hard numbers, and it is much more difficult to provide a number for prevented problems, than it is to provide a number for solved problems. Upper management sees that person A solved 30 problems, person B ( the lazy one ) solved 10 problems in the same time period. However, management often does not quantify the extra work person B did to prevent those 20 problems, they just give person A great praise, and quietly replace person B for "underperforming".
Suffice it to say, I'd rather hire the lazy ones.
that post better be seeing some +Funny *REAL* soon...
Anybody not knowing the difference between a "MCSE" or "CNE" and a "real" engineer does not deserve better. The average guy on the street is not usually in a position to hire engineers. But surprise - HR managers DO know the difference.
Would you mix up a MD with a Doctor of Metaphysics ?
Isn't step one to admit that you have a problem and accept responsibilities for your actions?
You sound like you are still wallowing in denial!
I would, but it will cost you most-positive-fixnum dollars. But at least if you fail, you can still get a good job as a garbage collector.
I'm thinking of pursuing a career as a garbage collector. I'm not sure if I want to follow a reference count system or a mark and sweep system. Can you offer any advice? What skill set will get me a better carrer?
Thanks in advance.
Hmm, I think "Im rubber, youre glue", or perhaps "I know you are, but what am I" would have been more the more appropriate fifth grade mentality response, but I suppose yours will work.
I do not need an abstraction layer protecting me from the horrors of the hardware/OS interface.
Hmmm, the Hardware Abstraction Layer doesnt do anything LIKE that... sounds like you are just swinging around jargon in an attempt to look like you know what you are talking about... The HAL was something MS used to make NT independent of the processor it was running on; at one time there were HALs for RISC and i386. They moved away from that direction for the most part, but there are still seperate uni- and multi- processor HALs. Also, there are now 64-bit versions of the HAL, for both Intel and AMD.
I wouldnt call that protecting me from the horrors of the hardware/OS interface (whatever thats supposed to mean).
I do not need a monopoly telling me what I can and can't do with the hardware I bought. I do not need forced upgrades, poor security, bloated code, and a GHz or better procesor to type a letter or browse the internet.
I use Windows, and I have none of those things. Just more anti-MS FUD, but I suppose we are in the right place for it...
Most of all, I don't need Clippy to help me do my work!
Hmmm, Ive never used Clippy myself. Honestly, I dont see why a little cartoon character face on a help file should generate such paranoia, but people are afraid of midgets and clowns, too.
Linus, Raymond, RMS, Cox and crew do not care if I upgrade my motherboard or get a new hard drive, so why do I have to get permission from Microsoft when I try it with XP?
Ive never had a problem with product activation, but thats probably because I always use the enterprise version. However, even people I know who use XP Home have never had an issue with activation. Score another one in the accute paranoia box.
Manipulate the moderator system! Mod someone as "overrated" today.
Domestic engineer
Sanitation engineer
text engineer
(Name your product) certified engineer
I prefer Combat Engineer!
- One of the students in a class had a photographic memory. He didn't understand why everyone didn't just read the book and go take the exam while the book was still in short-term memory.
- The Sr. VP where I work as a mainframe sysprog asked me if I knew anyone who was good at Windows debugging. I told him I knew some MCSE types. He said that if his IT department were a karate dojo, "MCSE" would be equivalent to "white belt" (rank beginner).- An instructor in an SQL Server class related the tale about a forklift operator who got laid off. He kept seeing job ads for "MCDBA" and asked around to find out what that meant. He didn't have the cash to actually take the courses but he bought the books and passed the exam (through luck, I guess) on the 14th attempt. He landed a job making $160K per year and kept it for six months before they realized he didn't know beans. He ended up $80K richer, though.
You were 80% angel, 10% demon. The rest was hard to explain. - Over The Rhine
"Math in a song is good."-Linford
Just the other day, a couple of friends were asking what Novell was good for. Now we know...
sort of.
[o]_O
" An instructor in an SQL Server class related the tale about a forklift operator who got laid off. He kept seeing job ads for "MCDBA" and asked around to find out what that meant. He didn't have the cash to actually take the courses but he bought the books and passed the exam (through luck, I guess) on the 14th attempt. He landed a job making $160K per year and kept it for six months before they realized he didn't know beans. He ended up $80K richer, though."
That's one of the things I like about OSS. You don't have to "fake it". You can go get your books and "real software", with "eBay hardware", and practice to your hearts content. Want to learn Java? No problem. Want to learn EJB? No problem. Build your own CISCO network. So is there any material out there for the person who wants to take that route to certification? Or to a career for that matter?
Two? Which two? SuSE I know about... are you referring to Ximian (which is a desktop shop, not a Linux distro)?
Need a Linux consultant in New Orleans?
So when do we get Gentoo Certified Linux Zealot?
Karma: It's all a bunch of tree-huggin' hippy crap!
The only way to get more information on this topic from the SuSE website is to download the PDF formatted docs.
I appreciate the presentation-control aspects that PDF gives to documents, but I don't think that it's too much to ask that a simple webpage with text information on it be provided as an alternative. I realize this is slightly OT, but in the slim hope that some SuSE webmaster/PR people are reading the thread: please some new-fashioned good ol' XHTML would do nicely instead. Thanks.
No, no; not genderless. It is common gender, which is something different. If you wanted genderless, then go with "it". For english, we use the masculine as the common gender.
I hope those certs dont just become anoter set of certs you can have after 3 weeks of exam crams. They should be able to seperate the boys from the men the way CCIE does.
I think we desperately need tough Linux certs to aim for, certs which will in time be respected enough to be of greater weight than the college degrees. Right now theres no standard way for a company to look for a highly skilled linux technician who can be creative, knowledgeable and original in solving problems. They just go for students from the best universities who have taken lots of java pascal and ada courses.
"Give orange me give eat orange me eat orange give me eat orange give me you." -Nim Chimpsky
Closest thing to what you describe in I.T. that I've seen is the International Information Systems Security Certification Consortium. Granted, it is security-focused, but when you define security as confidentiality, integrity and availability, then that pretty much covers everything that I.T. professionals do. It is worth checking out www.isc2.org to see what the future of such a governing body will look like.
http://tinyurl.com/4ny52
No previous Linux certification is required to become a Novell CLE, however a candidate will need to have the knowledge that is necessary to pass the Linux Professional Institute Certification Level 1 (LPIC 1).
- Evan
The true value of certification from an employer POV is that during the interview process it let's me know that I can skip the basic questions and go for more detailed questions off the bat. Also, it is good for certain vendor kick-backs (Compaq was great about this) and lets me know that the person is at least trying to improve themselves instead of sitting back on their laurels (if the cert is fairly recent). For all those who tell me that they don't need certs because they already have such great knowledge, I ask them why are they afraid of taking the relevant cert test? Most are relatively cheap ($100-$200 range), and if you pass most companies will reimburse you (FYI for vets out there, the GI Bill will now reimburse certs also).
... Certified Linux Information Technologists.
Coming soon - pyrogyra
This post should not have been modded down. The poster made an excellent point and simply told the truth.
Is the truth flamebait now?
>I can access any part of it I need without gagging NDAs and/or paying for the privilege and finally --
p it20031120. html
>I am not tied to one megacorp with a penchant for monopolistic practises
>...running a business that I don't need to compound the issue by welcoming the vampire into my house.
Cringely recently had a column on M$'s plans for a future business model
wherein he makes the case that it's only going to get worse
for independent providers of tech support for M$ products (competition for BillG's minions).
http://www.pbs.org/cringely/pulpit/pul
He notes the recent attempts of The Borg to cripple Technet.
(Others have mentioned the difficulty of using it to solve non-trivial probs.)
gewg_