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Laser System to be Tested in Boulder, CO

Posted by michael on from the fry-and-die dept.

luv_jeeps writes "Ball Aerospace is going to test fire a laser beam on Sunday night, as part of the CALIPSO project. If you live in the Colorado/Wyoming area, chances are good that you could see it. The article, a little light on details, says that the beam could be as big around as a basketball hoop."

40 of 318 comments (clear)

  1. Colorado? by WIAKywbfatw · · Score: 5, Funny

    Get many sharks there?

    --

    "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
    1. Re:Colorado? by stendec · · Score: 4, Funny
      I'm afraid you misinterpreted the system's specifications. Nowhere is it documented that this will be a fricken-laser test; rather, it is a standard laser test.

      Difficulties involved in getting phase coherence with fricken photons has yet to be resolved, but they're working on it.

    2. Re:Colorado? by fbg111 · · Score: 2, Funny

      The frickin-laser test also proved temporarily unworkable when Greenpeace sabotaged their operation to capture and airlift sharks to the laser test site in Colorado. Can't have a frickin-laser test without first mounting it on a shark's head. Of course, those Greenpeace spoilers are being disposed of as we speak, in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death, so they should be able to proceed with the real test shortly.

      --
      Flying is easy, just throw yourself at the ground and miss. -Douglas Adams
  2. Someone has to say it. . . by atc24 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Stop humping the laser!

  3. I think it be cool by RedHatLinux · · Score: 5, Funny
    when this laser hits a house full of popcorn and totally ends the evil professor's dream of a super weapon.

    Yeah I actually did watch a Val Kilmer film, But I was young so please forgive me :)

    1. Re:I think it be cool by Gojira+Shipi-Taro · · Score: 2, Funny

      Well then you should have disassembled the Nazi RA's Panzer and re-assembled it in his dorm room. /RealGenius: Moles and Trolls. Moles and Trolls. Work Work Work Work Work.

      --
      "Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency. I'm fucked."; ~ Donald J. Trump
  4. Caution by corrie · · Score: 5, Funny

    From the article:

    "The company has taken special precautions to protect aircraft and birds that might fly into the beam."

    I hope all those ducks got the memo.

    1. Re:Caution by EmagGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

      "special nets have been placed below the path of the beam to catch the falling roast duck, to protect it from being splattered on the interstate"

      I think that's what they meant...

      How the F! do you protect birds that might fly into the beam?

    2. Re:Caution by mcc · · Score: 4, Funny

      Just remember: The inescapable progress of science is not only ultimately beneficial to mankind. It's also delicious!

      Let's just hope that they remembered to set aside an appropriate amount of funding in the grant for plum sauce.

      --
      Irritable, left-wing and possibly humorous bumper stickers and t-shirts
    3. Re:Caution by Alsee · · Score: 2, Funny

      How the F! do you protect birds that might fly into the beam?

      a-duh! You just paint them all silver first!

      -

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    4. Re:Caution by sharkey · · Score: 2, Funny
      How the F! do you protect birds that might fly into the beam?

      12-gauge loaded with #4 shot. Shoot the birds BEFORE they hit the laser beam.

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      --
      "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  5. yeah, sure by arabagast · · Score: 4, Funny

    "If you see a piercing green light shooting into the sky Sunday night, it's not aliens, it's the work of scientists at Ball Aerospace.".. That`s what they want us to believe! Do not go with strange green men into theyr flying saucers on sunday - they are NOT going to give you candy as they surely will tell you .

    --
    Doolittle : ...What is your one purpose in life?
    Bomb no.20 : To explode of course.
    1. Re:yeah, sure by a1cypher · · Score: 2, Funny

      Does this mean that its ok to go with strange green men boasting free candy on days other than Sunday... ? Hrmm...

  6. Article: -5, Bad Pun by Dark+Lord+Seth · · Score: 3, Funny
    The article, a little light on details, says that ...

    Oh, the humanity!!!

    PS, Slahdot is fucked. "Score: -5, Bad Pun" is being parsed as no topic at all.

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  7. Next week's headline by Zork+the+Almighty · · Score: 4, Funny

    British secret agent in Denver!Witnesses say he drives a cool car with lots of gadgets. Single women beware!

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    In Soviet America the banks rob you!
    1. Re:Next week's headline by RealProgrammer · · Score: 4, Funny
      This just in:
      (UPI) Sources for Bell Aerospace insist their demands for "one million dollars" have been met, but they will fire the "giant laser" anyway. The White House could not be reached before press time.
      --
      sigs, as if you care.
  8. laser article by e_lehman · · Score: 5, Funny
    The article, a little light on details...

    Hehehehehe! Hoo-whee! You guys really crack me up...

  9. A week later.... by insmod_ex · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...sixteen people reported blind by staring at the laser. Theyll be pulling a SCO and suing the United States for making Colorado a state and thus allowing the laser test to go on. Anyone up for a game of laser tag? :D

  10. Re:Light on details? by cgranade · · Score: 2, Funny

    Linux: the OS that moves at the speed of light. Pardon me if that was a bit cutting, but I can't resist the burn...

    --

    #define DRM chmod 000

  11. One thing in Colorado's favour... by WIAKywbfatw · · Score: 4, Funny

    They have lots of mountains that could be hollowed out to make ideal bad-guy secret lairs.

    --

    "Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
    1. Re:One thing in Colorado's favour... by corbettw · · Score: 5, Funny

      They have lots of mountains that could be hollowed out to make ideal bad-guy secret lairs.

      There's already one there.

      --
      God invented whiskey so the Irish would not rule the world.
    2. Re:One thing in Colorado's favour... by flewp · · Score: 2, Funny

      Canada? You mean America Junior?

      --
      WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
    3. Re:One thing in Colorado's favour... by CaptnMArk · · Score: 2, Funny

      And they have a FLASH web page. LOL

  12. Re:Birds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    You're new here, aren't you?

  13. Hmm.. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Wonder if this laser can remove basketball hoop sized tatoos?

  14. The 12:00 News by The+Spanish+Ninja · · Score: 5, Funny

    And our top story this hour, the RIAA has commandeered Aerospace's big laser and has started frying mp3 downloaders. When reached for comment, they told us "The lawsuits just weren't inspiring the right kind of fear."

    --
    "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
  15. Re:I for one am excited by UnknowingFool · · Score: 3, Funny
    . . . does anybody know what it will be good for, other than vaporizing martians?

    I suspect Marvin the Martian will be disappointed with the outcome of the test:

    "Where's the KABOOM? There was supposed to be an earth shattering KABOOM!!"

    --
    Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
  16. Those damn scientific standards... by michiel.h · · Score: 5, Funny

    A basketballhoop? That's what? (1/15)*Volkswagen Beetle?

    I'm Dutch. We play soccer, not basketball.
    Insensitive clods.

  17. Re:Birds? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Zoology interns have to put anti-dazzle goggles on all the birds they can catch.

  18. Too bad I misread that by Sebby · · Score: 2, Funny
    because of the 'CO' at the end, I thought it was another SCO story, and I read it as:

    "Laser System to be Tested on SCO'

    ... and immediately thought WooHoo!!!

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    AC comments get piped to /dev/null
  19. Specs by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's really just 157 pocket-lazers tied togeather with duct tape and flipped on at once.

    1. Re:Specs by The+Spanish+Ninja · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ahh, duct tape...physical emodiment of the Force...how would we live without it?

      --
      "I like you, but I wouldn't want to see you working with subatomic particles."
  20. Re:Birds? by gnu-generation-one · · Score: 5, Funny

    I get the part about aircraft, but how will they protect the birds?

    This from a country which just finished eating 45 million turkeys?

  21. ACK! by mog007 · · Score: 2, Funny

    When this thing hits the moon and destroys it, don't say I didn't warn everybody!

    Or the sun! It could cause it to go nova!

    I need to upgrade my tin foil hat... it isn't strong enough to resist "lasers" yet.

    --
    Learn something new.
  22. Re:I for one am excited by king_penguin_05 · · Score: 2, Funny

    First of all, congratulations, you are the first person to ever refer to an Austin Powers movie as science fiction.
    Secondly, you say that we have heard of "laster beams." I am unaware of this invention or of its mention in the classic science fiction film, Austin Powers.

    --
    "I can't drive 55. It only goes 38."
  23. Re:tape it please by va3atc · · Score: 2, Funny

    will some kind person in Colorado video tape this event and put up a torrent for it.

    Please :)

    Just for goodness sakes no, no, no Quicktime! Thanks, I just had to clear that up :)

    --
    Candle burns its brightest in the dark
  24. the first laser test failed by the_REAL_sam · · Score: 2, Funny

    here, you can see how the laser glanced off its target, without a scratch:

    first laser test

    --
    "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." -Jesus Christ The Lord's Prayer
  25. Re:Question... kinda.... star trek reference... by Alsee · · Score: 3, Funny

    Laser stands for:
    Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.

    Maser stands for:
    Microwave Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation.

    Phaser stands for:
    Plaid Hippopatamus Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Rotund-mammals.

    That's why phasers are so powerful, imagine being bombarded with billions and billions of plaid hippopotami!

    -

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  26. Re:RTFA by flewp · · Score: 4, Funny

    and the aerography guys know what's fowl and what's weather

    But what about..... FOWL WEATHER??!!!

    Sorry. It *had* to be said. Whether it needed to be said out loud, well, that's another story.

    --
    WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
  27. Re:News from Colorado by phrogeeb · · Score: 2, Funny

    Watching from downtown Denver, but i guess we missed it? That bites a big one.

    Didnt know there were so many CO slashdotters - we should all get together.

    Cuz im sure we're all really really cool people. Slashdot readers are always cool. No losers here. Nu-uh.

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