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DIY Cruise Missile Grounded

PSaltyDS writes "The DIY Cruise Missile project from New Zealand has been previously covered on /., but the BBC now reports that Bruce Simpson has been forced to shutdown by his government. His project web site says 'The New Zealand government has moved aggressively to shut down this project -- and by using quite unscrupulous methods which appear to be in breach of the law.'"

29 of 690 comments (clear)

  1. Darn! by TheWart · · Score: 5, Funny

    Well, scratch the cruise missle off of my list of things to build...guess I'll just have to move straight to the ICBM. sigh.

    1. Re:Darn! by EdmundSS · · Score: 2, Funny

      Utah is intercontinental from here, you insensitive clod!

    2. Re:Darn! by NanoGator · · Score: 5, Funny

      "What do you think the C and M in ICBM stand for?"

      I
      Cant
      Build a
      Missile?

      --
      "Derp de derp."
  2. Re:If you were a terrorist. by IshanCaspian · · Score: 2, Funny

    What are you going to do, put it in your pocket? How do you stealthily steal a cruise missile? Wouldn't people notice it poking out of your trunk?

    --

    But there is another kind of evil that we must fear most... and that is the indifference of good men.
  3. You could say.... by Alystair · · Score: 5, Funny

    .... his cruise missle project was shot down *budump bum ching*

  4. Rocket powered skateboard by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Reminds me of the days when we were kids and used to strap on cans filled with a mix of sodium chlorate and sugar to our skateboards.

    Fucking cops had no sense of humor.

  5. hurm... by bsDaemon · · Score: 2, Funny

    Step 1: create weapons of mass destruction

    Step 2: declare war on USA
    Step 3: Collect war repartations
    Step 4: Profit!!!

    1. Re:hurm... by bsDaemon · · Score: 2, Funny

      You must have an underwear gnome fetish.

  6. Open source military hardware? by jeeves99 · · Score: 5, Funny

    He proclaims he doesn't want "nefarious types" to get ahold of the development information, but he doesn't say how he screens the subscriber list to weed out these people.

    Open source software == good

    Open source flying cylinder of death == bad

    1. Re:Open source military hardware? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      but he doesn't say how he screens the subscriber list to weed out these people.

      Let's just say, if your email address starts with "osama" "mohammed" or "saddam", or your surname starts with "al ", you're not making the list.

  7. LOTR and cruise missiles by sssmashy · · Score: 5, Funny

    The New Zealand government has been pretty agressive about exploiting the success of the LOTR movies to make millions of dollars in tourism revenues.

    I guess they don't want those befuddled tourists who knock on doors aking where Frodo lives to accidentally stumble upon a homemade cruise missile silo instead.

  8. Poor guy... by Cutriss · · Score: 4, Funny

    but the BBC now reports that Bruce Simpson has been forced to shutdown by his government.

    Well, there goes his uptime...

    --
    "Mod, mod, mod...and another troll bites the dust."
  9. Bankruptcy assistance representatives ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 2, Funny

    from the United States Government have helped Mr. Simpson with his debt problems by relocating him to the tax haven of Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. No longer will he burdened by oppresive tax responsibilities. Thank you John Ashcroft, humanitarian.

  10. You can have my cruise missiles... by arc.light · · Score: 2, Funny

    ... when you pry them out of my cold, dead hands.

  11. Old Idea ;-) by bstadil · · Score: 3, Funny

    As in Mouse that roared with Peter Sellers

    --
    Help fight continental drift.
  12. Re:Do all measurements in hexadecimal. by AndroidCat · · Score: 5, Funny

    No, then they'd arrest you for building a weapon of math destruction.

    --
    One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  13. Hey! I'll have you know that ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 4, Funny
    cruise missle prairie dog hunts are quite popular amongst those who are tired of going after them with 50 cal sniper rifles. That's so two weeks ago.

    If cruise missles are made illegal, then only criminals will have cruise missles.

  14. Is it just me... by DrEldarion · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... or does it seem like a bad idea to piss off someone who is building a missile?

  15. or by sydlexic · · Score: 4, Funny

    1) create weapons of mass destruction
    2) declare war on USA
    3) ominous silence
    4) discover your ass is actually a smoking hole in the ground

  16. Re:Star Wars by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny
    This would also allow us to shoot down friendlies that go rouge. (e.g. 9/11 plane attacks)

    What the hell is wrong with red airplanes?

  17. You can have MY cruise missiles... by cgenman · · Score: 3, Funny

    ... when you sweep the bits from my warm, moist ashes.

  18. Knock Knock! by angst_ridden_hipster · · Score: 4, Funny

    herrvinny: Who's there?

    Guy in Sunglasses: John.

    herrvinny: John who?

    GIS: John Ashcroft, asshat. Please put this bag over your head, and come with me. We're going on a nice all-expense paid trip for one to Cuba.

    herrvinny: Why? What did I do?

    GIS: Does posting terrorist plots to Slashdot ring a bell?

    herrvinny: But that was just hypothetical. I was critiquing a stupid government decision in a specific case --

    GIS (hitting herrvinny with cattle prod, and putting a bag over his head): Shut up! We'll take care of you terrorist swine! You probably pirate mp3s, too.

    herrvinny: mmmmph ... mmmmph! mmmmph!

    (etc)

    --
    Eloi, Eloi, lema sabachtani?
    www.fogbound.net
  19. I've got an by Neop2Lemus · · Score: 2, Funny
    IBM at home.

    err...

    Well, three outta four ain't bad.

    --
    Needle Nardle Noo
  20. No matter how many times you hear it... by i_want_you_to_throw_ · · Score: 2, Funny

    Some phrases you just can't get used to, like this one.
    "I have now had to give the missile to a friend for safe keeping."

  21. Unmanned Crop Duster by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Mr. Simpson,

    My father owns also a farm and will greatly appreciate to purchase such an Unmanned Crop Duster as you describe. He has certain questions first: can your UCD carry liquid and as well powdered chemicals for distribution? Some certain crops need liquid applied as aerosol spray, where other crops do best with a powder chemical.

    Please also inform whether aircraft can fly among tall buildings (such as grain tower) and what accuracy of navigation is. My father considers starting business of crop dusting for farms in the region and may need aircraft will can fly through city areas and hit remote farms before release chemical payload.

    A great thank you and may Allah shine down on your family.

    Sincerely,

    Abdul Mohammed al Jafar

  22. So to sum up... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    ...we only have to worry about a cruise missile attack from terrorists whose taxes are paid up.

  23. Who cares? by Jack9 · · Score: 2, Funny

    using quite unscrupulous methods which appear to be in breach of the law.

    at least they didn't bomb his house.

    --

    Often wrong but never in doubt.
    I am Jack9.
    Everyone knows me.
  24. you have a cruise missile... by the-build-chicken · · Score: 4, Funny

    why the hell are you worried about a tax debt...you already have a more effective arsenal than the NZ govt ever had.

    Go on...you know you want to...

  25. Re:Some discussions of the project and its shutdow by fucksl4shd0t · · Score: 2, Funny

    Drugs are a great civilian app for cruise missles

    Stoner (on the phone): Um, State Farm agent?

    State Farm Agent: My name is Cindy, I'll be your agent today. what can I do for you?

    Stoner: Um, I need to submit a claim on my renter's insurance, you know. *sniff*

    SFA: Ok, what's the disaster?

    Stoner: Well, you see, it's like this. My homeboy down in Mexico sent me this package, and everything, and it got here and all you know. *giggle*

    SFA: I don't see why that would result in a claim on your renter's insurance.

    Stoner: Um, hang on. (sound of paper crackling) *crunch* Um, yeah. Where were we?

    SFA: You were about to explain how you received a package in the mail and it resulted in a claim on your renter's insurance.

    Stoner: In the mail? I didn't receive a package in the mail? *crunch crunch*

    SFA: Sir? You said that one of your friends in Mexico sent you a package in the mail.

    Stoner: Friends? Oh! You mean my homeboy Paco. Yeah, he's a cool guy, you know. But he didn't send me a package---*crunch*--ooooooh yeah. Yeah. No, that package didn't come in the mail, you know.

    SFA: It didn't?

    Stoner: No, Man. See. It's like this, you know. *crunch* *swallow* Um, hang on. (water flowing) Aaaah. *zip* *snap* Ok, where were we?

    SFA: I don't know.

    Stoner: Oh yeah! I know! See, my buddy Paco said he has this new delivery system, and everything, and he sent me a package with it! It just got here today, you know.

    SFA: Riiiiight. And how does that make it a renter's insurance claim? Do you have renter's insurance?

    Stoner: Of course! You wouldn't think--*crunch*--you wouldn't think I wouldn't? I mean, I'm calling in a claim and everything, so of course I have renter's insurance, you know.

    SFA: Riiiiiight.

    Stoner: So, anyway. This new delivery system is like totally guaranteed to not be picked up by the DEA, you know, and everybody. But it blew up my house!

    SFA: He sent you a bomb, through the mail?

    Stoner: No man! It's not a bomb! He read some website in New Zealand, you know, that told him how to build a cruise missile with like, only $5,000 dollars and everything. I told him, I told him I said "Look man, you're crazy!" But he isn't! He built the fuckin' thing, and everything, you know! And it worked!

    SFA: Your friend Paco, in Mexico, put a cruise missile in your house?

    Stoner: Yeah man! That's crazy!

    SFA: That's not covered by your renter's insurance, you know.

    Stoner: It's not?

    SFA: No, it's not. You know, if you read your policy, you'll see that your policy doesn't cover acts of war.

    Stoner: But it's not an axe of war, you know. It's like, I mean, you know, it's just a cruise missile, and we're not like at war with anybody, I don't think. Are we?

    *click*

    --
    Like what I said? You might like my music