The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis

An anonymous reader submits "Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie? How come Yoda runs off to Dagobah? Who will Darth Vader kill? Will the Clonetroopers become Stormtroopers? Will Chewbacca or Grand Moff Tarkin have a role in Star Wars:Episode III, and if so what is it? AgonyEngine of the Phatooine Network dares to answers these questions with a definitive timeline synopsis and character analysis, carefully compiled from the many spoilers and spy reports from the insiders and interviews."

Comments

I hate spoilers

[corebreech]

And to be frank, the worst part about /.'s otherwise commendable policy of allowing every post to stand is that we have idiots who will come in here and post spoilers with the deliberate intention of ruining the movie for everybody else.

I remember when we were days away from Matrix: Reloaded, and some idiot posted with the title Trinity Dies. Of course, Trinity didn't die, but the suggestion that she might acted like a splinter in my mind--if I might borrow a phrase from Morpheus--during my viewing of the movie.

goatse.cx by comparison is relatively innocent, at least in my book.

WHY DO PEOPLE WANT TO KNOW HOW A MOVIE ENDS BEFORE THEY SEE IT?

This drives me crazy! I mean, I even get pissed off at these stupid DVD's that show you previews of the movie you're about to watch before they even let you at the fucking PLAY BUTTON.

And then there are idiots like MATT DRUDGE who will happily spoil a movie using his 48 point type headline if it somehow offends his laughable moral point-of-view.

The great hope here is that some day we'll have the bandwidth so that when a movie is released, we'll have the opportunity to see it, live, before anybody gets to make their day spoiling it for the rest of us.

Thank you for sitting through this diatribe