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The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis
An anonymous reader submits "Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie? How come Yoda runs off to Dagobah? Who will Darth Vader kill? Will the Clonetroopers become Stormtroopers? Will Chewbacca or Grand Moff Tarkin have a role in Star Wars:Episode III, and if so what is it? AgonyEngine of the Phatooine Network dares to answers these questions with a definitive timeline synopsis and character analysis, carefully compiled from the many spoilers and spy reports from the insiders and interviews."
i fail it. i fail it. i fail it. i really do.
What the hell?! Lucas shocks us again! This is bigger than Vader begin Luke's father, or Leia being Luke's sister.
00:00:03 Server /.'ed.
Spoiler: Phatooine Network gets /.ed in the first few minutes.
You are more than the sum of what you consume. Desire is not an occupation.
Thanks for ruining the movie...didn't even say the link contained spoilers.
/.'d
There are some people that if they don't know, you can't tell 'em.
is clouding my connection to the server. I heard a million requests and all went silent.
Look out the for a walk-on from Triumph the Insult Comic Dog. It's so awesome, Triumph walks up to Darth and asks him which button to press on his breather to call his parents to come pick him up! I'm pooping with anticipation!
You know they made a book out of those movies?? LAF
movies I know I'm going to like.
So I read the spoiler for Matrix: Revolution, and now I have absolutely no desire to see it. This technique also works for execrable movie adaptations like Timeline.
This saves me:
* a metric buttload of money;
* from disappointment;
* more time for my kids.
Laugh at my Lisp and I keeell you.
Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie?
That would be httpd, Bob.
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
All that research! If we could only focus that amount of mental power on piecing together other important issues, like where Saddam Hussein is, or what exactly Michael Jackson was doing with those kids...
stuff |
Today's Slashdotting has saved my weak-willed self from spoiling the movie. Hopefully the urge to click through has passed by the time the site is responding...
.... yeeaaaah... like, maybe Leia is in fact Darth Vader, Anakin is an ewok, Darth Vader was born with his helmet on and the Jedi order lived happily ever after. Who knows.
You are more than the sum of what you consume. Desire is not an occupation.
You'd think a Jedi could handle a little slashdotting.
He should have joined the Dark Side.
If you aren't part of the solution, there is good money to be made prolonging the problem
You have ruined the ending for us all. At least we can all look forward to being suprised at the end of The Passion and Return Of The King.
25 comments in and its /.'d already. I guess I shouldn't be surprised, this is Slashdot afterall. Its not like there are any Star Wars geeks here.
"The quality of life is determined by its activites."--Aristotle
Seeing his recent track record, I'm sure George Lucas took care of that already.
the preceding comment is my own and in no way reflects the opinion of the Joint Chiefs of Staff
That sound you hear is ten of thousands of 35-year-old men padding off to "be alone" for a bit.
Comparing it to Windows will be a moot point, since El Dorado is going to have a 40% larger code base than XP.
from the is-anakin-her-first dept.
Best... Slashdot... Dept... EVER!
Please God, let it be Jar Jar. Three hours of "Faces of Death"-like gore footage of Jar Jar getting digested by that big sand worm would get *MY* ten bucks.
I'm not normally an irrational zealous dickhead, but I figure "When in Rome..."
Thanks for ruining matrix reloaded asshole. I havent seen it yet.
LUKE: What's going on?
HAN: Our link is correct, except...no, Website!
LUKE: What do you mean? Where is it?
HAN: Thats what I'm trying to tell you, kid. It ain't there. It's been
totally blown away.
LUKE: What? How?
"Wow, who would have thought that Han Solo was Anakin Skywalker's half-brother."
Oh, say does that Star-Spangled Banner entwine / The myrtle of Venus with Bacchus's vine?
Everything in EP3 ends up the way things are when EP4 begins.
Slashdot: Failed Car Analogies. Amateur Lawyering. Anecdote Battles.
Today's Slashdotting has saved my weak-willed self from spoiling the movie. Hopefully the urge to click through has passed by the time the site is responding...
If the last two movies were any indication of how the next one will play, then the spoilers will be far more entertaining.
...Episode IV was titled "A New Hope".
"Finally! A Star Wars movie that doesn't suck!"
--R.J.
Electric-Escape.net
They used walkie talkies to communicate.
don't you mean wookie talkies?
"Begun, this Spoiler Season has."
A shirtless Anakin, a pregnant Padme, and a curious C-3PO have a scene together.
Sounds like a synopsis of some of the worse fanfic out there. There's "pushing PG" and there's just plain wrong.
The movie's not scheduled to be out until 2005 - almost two years from now (source, starwars.com). I read the spoliers content in the knowledge that I will have forgotten them by the time I see the film...
I am TheRaven on Soylent News
That is all I need, along with the nifty Dark Side and Empire. "I love it when a plan comes together" is what Palpatine should say at the end like Hannibal Smith.
I feel a great disturbance in the force. It is as if a thousand TCP connections timed out and then were dropped.
Shop as usual. And avoid panic buying.
Ah yes, the Star Trek "alternate timeline" approach^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^H copout.
"Those other movies are on another timeline. Everything actually turns out happily ever after! Here's more Jar-Jar for you!"
What the hell?! Lucas shocks us again! This is bigger than Vader begin Luke's father, or Leia being Luke's sister.
Vader is Luke's father?!?!!
Leia is Luke's sister!?!?
Man, talk about a bad day for me to wake up from a 26 year coma and immediately log onto Slashdot...
--
Was it the sheep climbing onto the altar, or the cattle lowing to be slain,
or the Son of God hanging dead and bloodied on a cross that told me this was a world condemned, but loved and bought with blood.
> A shirtless Anakin, a pregnant Padme, and a
> curious C-3PO have a scene together
Dude, that's just sick!!!
"War is God's way of teaching Americans geography." -- Ambrose Bierce
A shirtless Anakin, a pregnant Padme, and a curious C-3PO have a scene together.
I'm already getting all hot and bothered.
Queen AgonyEngine: I was not elected to watch my website suffer and die while you discuss this invasion in a committee! If this body is not capable of action, I suggest new leadership is needed. I move for a vote of "no confidence" in CowboyNeal's leadership.
CowboyNeal : What?...No!
REM Old programmers don't die. They just GOSUB without RETURN.
My grandkids, if they watch them at all (which I rather doubt), will watch them IV, V, and OK, you can watch VI to finish the story. I'll then tell them that there were some other ones made but they were pretty bad, so so they don't need to waste their time.
What about Lando?
Maybe Obi-Wan's been packing grits, if you know what I mean and Luke and Leia are his? Once Anakin finds out what's up, he goes all postal and shit.
I drank what? -- Socrates
. . . does the PLOT matter in a Star Wars movie? Actors recite cheesy dialogue, things blow up, everyone's happy. The only plot point in a SW movie was the hole "you're my dad?" thing in SW:ESB.
"We shall party like the Greeks of old! You know the ones I mean." - HedonismBot
Therefore, we must acquit!
It was bound to happen - the card had to happen somehow!
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