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The Definitive Episode 3 Spoiler Synopsis
An anonymous reader submits "Want to know who gets killed in the first ten minutes of the movie? How come Yoda runs off to Dagobah? Who will Darth Vader kill? Will the Clonetroopers become Stormtroopers? Will Chewbacca or Grand Moff Tarkin have a role in Star Wars:Episode III, and if so what is it? AgonyEngine of the Phatooine Network dares to answers these questions with a definitive timeline synopsis and character analysis, carefully compiled from the many spoilers and spy reports from the insiders and interviews."
Apparantly it is still over a year away, I bet a lot of these leaked rumours etc. will turn out to be quite wrong by the time the actual film comes around. Maybe a bit of Hollywood spin to get people talking?
This stuff has been readily available for a while -- also condensed at theforce.net.
Being a former spoiler hound for episodes 1 & 2, I found that they sounded much better on paper than they were on screen. This one doesn't really even sound appealing on paper, beyond The Duel, which either means it's going to rock, finally (unlikely) or that it will be so mindblowingly bad that The Phantom Menace will look like Citizen Kane in comparison.
I am not Herbert.
I'm a fan, but not a fanboy, so I haven't kept up with Star Wars 'canon'. But for some reason, I've always remembered hearing that Darth Vader would become the Man in the Iron Lung in a battle with Obi-Wan in some sort of volcano-like setting.
Was that alluded to in one of the SW novels, did Lucas say it back in the '80s, or am I psychic (as opposed to psychotic)?
(BTW, easy decision whether to read the spoiler synopsis. I know the story outline will be far superior to the movie itself, so there's nothing lost.)
Stressed? Me? Of course not. Stress is what a rubber band feels before it breaks, silly.
Actually, there was a really excellent theater skit called Star Wars in 30 minutes. (www.swin30.com) A friend of mine was involved in the group.
Of course, Star Wars was one of the few movies that didn't try to do too much, so it had a more concise structure. Lucas has this annoying need to visit a dozen planets each movie. The desperate need to touch on a zillion small events makes it hard to create any good theatrical moods other than frantic.
This spoiler shows the same problem emerging. It really sounds like two or three movies' worth of material. Maybe it will have to get split into two parts like Kill Bill
Murray Todd Williams
Wow. Thanks for posting this here! There was one author (and I wish I could remember who it was) who proposed that the only way to fix George Lucas' total screw-up of the story was to have the real blockbuster in episode 3 as follows: Darth Vader and Yoda are actually conspiring together to hide Luke and Leia from the Emperor... Because they would give the Emperor too much power for a Jedi-free universe to withstand. It's a great idea because it's the only way (I mean the ONLY way) to make the whole Luke's growing up on his Dad's home planet! thing stop sucking.
"Wow. Now THAT'S a lot of angry Indians." - Lt. Col. George Armstrong Custer
Lucas has this annoying need to visit a dozen planets each movie
:)
You know, a number of years back (think Sonic days) I noticed that every platform game under the sun started falling into the same pattern. Each level is a different climate. Water levels, snow levels, forest levels, desert levels, lava levels, etc etc etc. At the time I thought "hey, this is kinda like how a Star Wars movie is arranged. cool!".
The more cynical side of me was looking forward to Anakin as Mario hopping around 12 different planets in the Episode 1 games. Then I realized, it's called STAR wars. Like, spaceships and such. It only makes sense that spaceships travel between planets (else, why are they there in the first place?).
The more I look at it, Lucas' problem is that he jumps around too much in the new movies. The original trilogy was fairly linear, start at one planet, follow the characters to the next, etc. Episode 1 I almost lost track of where everyone was at any given point. Episode 2 I didn't even bother keeping track.
Maybe it will have to get split into two parts like Kill Bill
Episode 3 followed by Episode 3.5? The geeks would like that
Endless arguments over trivial contradictions in books written by ignorant savages to explain thunder in the dark.
But, "Charles Foster Kane" was a very thinly vieled model of William Randolf Hearst.
"Rosebud" was rumored to be Hearst's pet name for his wife's vagina. Needless to say, Hearst was incensed that Orsen Wells made that the character's dying word.
I won't even start to drag in the Rosicrucian links.
Know you know... the rest of the story.
Why a Jedi Master as great as Yoda shows all the decision making skills and insight of a being with Jar Jar's brain throughout the films -- and then cowers away in hiding at the end. In eps 4-6 I always attributed it to his age....But he seems to be pretty much in his prime in eps 1-3...Yet still is a dunce in matters that really matter.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.
The truth is that he's just in it for the money, and he'll do anything that he thinks will pull in the most profit. He only put Lando in to sell tickets to blacks. He all but removed Jar-Jar from episode 2 because focus groups told him the diehards were only seeing episode 1 five times instead of ten because they hated Jar-Jar so much. In other words, he'll change the story line to sell tickets.
The whole DVD delay was just to sell as many video tapes as possible, then turn around and sell DVDs to all those who bought the tapes (nooo - it was for the art, man! Lucas won't release a DVD unless it's right. Uh-huh. Sure. Whatever). The whole digital special effects thing is just to avoid paying for real actors (but can you blame him? I mean, really -- imagine the payroll for a clone army of Hollywood extras). Geeze, if it was for the art then you wouldn't see the mattes on the episode 4-6 SFX shots. But Lucas found that Kubric's overkill on 2001 didn't sell tickets, so we get mattes you can spot with your eyes closed. Hell, for all the super-D-duper digital effects in 1 and 2, you can still spot the mattes.
He's said he will not make episodes 7-9, but I'll bet he will -- once the computer stuff is good enough that he can do the last three without any actors at all.
If all this should have a reason, we would be the last to know.
Anyone else notice? Star Wars episode III is a year and a half away, and here we are getting significant spoilers. Sure, we know the storyline for LOTR, but specific spoilers about Jackson's film changes did not really appear until two months prior to ROTK release. Guess who keeps a tighter reign on his project?