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Robots Of The Victorian Era
prostoalex writes "Somehow the robotic inventions of the 19th century are terribly under-appreciated. But when you read about a new Aibo or running humanoid robot, don't forget the mechanical marvels of the 19th century. The Steam Man, unveiled in literature in 1865, would provide the willing consumer with a truly horseless carriage. The Electric Man(1885) was a working prototype before 19th century was over, too. The Boilerplate was a prototype soldier built in 1893 to resolve potential conflicts between the nations, and, according to promotional photographs, was usually surrounded by young females. And, finally, the Automatic Man, unveiled in 1900, a 7'5'' robot capable of many things, but mainly pulling carriages." (Don't forget the less-fictional, more-fraudulent Ajeeb and The Turk.)
Robots of the Vicki era?
Bite my shiny metal ass.
My personal favorite is the colossal 50 foot tall mechanical spider built shortly after the civil war. It could shoot fireballs, nets, and even crush wagons! Sadly, it was destroyed in a grain-alcohol disaster shortly after completion.
It was designed by many of the worlds most prominent scientists in a variety of fields, whom all came together to focus on this single effort. It really is a shame we don't have the ability today to team up all of our top scientists to create massive mechanical horrors.
I am a filthy pirate.
The Virtual Soldier
Program Manager: Dr. Richard Satava
The Virtual Soldier Program seeks to establish a new capability that will revolutionize medical care to support the soldier. The program will create the mathematical modeling approaches to develop an information (computational) representation of an individual soldier (a holographic medical electronic representation or holomer) that can be used to augment medical care on and off the battlefield with a new level of integration. This virtual soldier will be based upon a highly complex model that is derived from biologically driven principles and populated with properties that are extracted from evidence-based data. The initial Phase 1 effort will consist of a two-component, three-dimensionally displayed model: (1) An organ-tissue system model component, and (2) a properties level model component. Once derived, the virtual soldier will provide multiple capabilities, including but not limited to automatic diagnosis of battlefield injuries, prediction of soldier performance, testing and evaluation of non-lethal weapons, and virtual clinical trials.
DARPA
And on another note...
SCO Soldier
Program Team: SCUM Group
The SCO Soldier Program seeks to scan source codes and find the printf function on those lines of codes and report them back to its owner. Using covert tactics and illicit (possibly) illegal methods, the SCO Soldier can then automate fascimile transmissions of source code to a database which can then quantum generate subpoenas on the fly.
With the speed rate of over 2billion lines of code per minute, the SCO soldier can quickly misconstrue every line of code for pseudo-authenticity and create a manically broad worded asinine report which sounds great on the outside but is actually empty on the inside.
SCO Soldier not available in Open Source and will be licensed to someone who is willing to be sued immediately afterwards in efforts to ensure that SCO Soldier is functioning properly and generating frivolous lawsuits.
MoFscker
I for one welcome our Robotic Duck Overlords....
"Music is everybody's possession. It's only publishers who think that people own it." - John Lennon.
grr, that ugly looking robot has got a GF, hell, I wish I looked like a robot...
The IT section color scheme sucks.
I won't rest until the following exchange can happen in real life:
[Bender and Fry in Bender's apartment.]
Bender: [while sleeping] Kill all humans, kill all humans, must kill all hu...
Fry: [shakes him] Bender wake up!
Bender: I was having the most wonderful dream. I think you were in it.
Fry: Listen, Bender, uh... where's your bathroom?
Bender: Bath-what?
Fry: Bathroom.
Bender: What room?
Fry: Bathroom!
Bender: What what?
Fry: Aaah, never mind.
[Bender shuts himself down to sleep, Fry lies on the floor]
Bender: [while sleeping] Hey, sexy mama... Wanna kill all humans?
"Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
Just lie back and think of electric sheep.
On another note, its quite impressive that these were developed (assuming their ligitimate), considering the level of technology available at the time.
Hi there
steam men... sounds sort of sexy from a gay point of view. ;)
Isn't this ground well covered by the original Wild Wild West..?
This is my sig.
none of them are nearly as funny as
Angrybot.
"My credit card's not rejected, YOU'RE rejected!"
They got the facts all wrong... the Boilerplate soldier wasnt developed in chicago... it was developed in Paris.
:D
You see... the Parisans knew well in advanced just how many battles they were going to have to surrender in, over the next hundred years, so they designed this robot to do it for them. You see, the average French soldier was far to arrogant to admit that they, yes... did in fact suck... however, the French government refused to accept the casualities of extended conflicts due to the fact they had nobody amongst themselves brave enough or confident enough to actually surrender, so they created a robot to face the shame for them. Sadly the protype never lived up to the hype, and for the next 8 consecutive battles, the French had to swallow their pride and surrender Mano-eh-mano.
Shees, cant the history books get anything right?
Off-topic: Can we change Bill Gate's image here to match the boilerplate robot? I would find it less menacing and more approachable. It, too, would be heartless.
I can just see the Tin Gates marching toward us, tottering on stiff metal legs, arms waving in front. Rasping from the tiny grate at the mouth: "Embrace and extend! Embrace and extend! Embrace and extend!"
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
1. Robot legs, like chair legs, must be covered by knitted doilies at all times.
2. A robot should never harm a British subject of the Crown. Harming colonials is OK. This includes during a tiger-hunt.
3. If a robot sees a brother robot down on his luck, the robot should give the brother robot a fresh lump of coal so the brother robot can work up a head of steam and forge ahead.
Don't blame Durga. I voted for Centauri.
Finally the revisionist conspiracy has been exposed! Their shameless attempts at hiding the existence of BoilerPlate will no longer work. At last the world can see BoilerPlate posing with Pancho Villa, instead of only seeing the revisionist version of the picture, where BoilerPlate has been replaced by some nameless revolutionary. Kinda makes one wonder if those US soldiers in Iraq aren't actually BoilerPlate Mark 10's.
...and then bursting into flames.
Keep your packets off my GNU/Girlfriend!
We are much more advanced in 21st century. We even have one become governor now.
Desi Noise, Live!
The man, the myth, the pimp. This is the PimpBot 5000. He combines the classic sensibilities of a 1950's robot with the dynamic flare of a 1970's street pimp. Pimpbot 5000 I think he could have taken the Steam Man.
"You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours." -- Yogi Berra
You know, you may think they're cute, but we had a whole flock of these things infest our attic. Exterminators won't touch 'em, and let me tell you - they *do* produced a ton of excrement! Lucky for us it wasn't real excrement - just some kind of mixture of mercury, asbestos, and cyanide.
In a word - helium.
The tin woodsman was not a robot. He was a piecemeal cyborg. An offended witch caused him to 'accidentally' chop pieces off himself while plying his trade. As each limb and part was lost, the local tinsmith made him a replacement, until his entire body had been replaced.
At least, that's what's in the book. Personally, I find it incredible. It's enough to cast doubt on the veracity of the entire OZ ouvre.