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Jodrell Bank Telescope Gets No Signal From Beagle
tipiyano writes "Continuing the story of Beagle 2 from earlier today it seems like the hope for Beagle 2 surviving the landing at Mars is reducing as the Jodrell Bank telescope didn't receive any signal from Beagle. In the words of a mission manager, 'I wasn't too worried about the missed link with Odyssey, but it starts getting serious if Jodrell Bank cannot get a signal either'."
But what about the Beagle's problems? It's all alone on Mars and probably can't signal back it's existence.
Poor thing.
I have been pwned because my
1. The Europeans are as incompetent as the Americunts (naaaaaah!)
2. There is something on Mars which hates space probes!
Flight managers ... said they had narrowed Beagle-2's likely landing area to an ellipse just 30 kilometers wide and 5 kilometers long
Yes. All over that area.
The coolest voice ever.
for the Martian Air Defenses!
(Wonder if they buy their flying-saucer fuel from Halliburton?)
NASA Administrator: So, what the hell happened to our probe?
NASA Scientist: We think that it got sucked through a black hole and got seriously upgraded by omnipotent living machines. We'll probably see it again in several hundred years when it returns as an entity called B'agel that threatens to destroy the earth in it's question for knowledge. Hey, it could happen...
Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
It is now official - Jordell Bank has confirmed: Beagle2 is dying
Yet another crippling bombshell hit the beleaguered Mars exploration community when recently ESA confirmed that Beagle2 accounts for less than a fraction of 1 percent of chances for survival. Coming on the heels of the latest Jordell Bank signal analysis which plainly states that Beagle2 has lost radio contact, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Beagle2 is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent radiotelescope comprehensive signal search.
You don't need to be a Aldrin to predict Beagle2's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Beagle2 faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Beagle2 because Beagle2 is dying. Things are looking very bad for Beagle2. As many of us are already aware, Beagle2 continues to lose power. Red dust covers it like a river of blood. The lander rover is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core systems. The sudden and unpleasant failures of long time rover systems of traction and cameras only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Beagle2 is dying.
Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.
All major surveys show that Beagle2 has steadily declined in survival chances. Beagle2 is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Beagle2 is to survive at all it will be among martian hobbyist junk collectors. Beagle2 continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Beagle2 is dead.
Fact: Beagle2 is dead
45 5F E1 04 22 CA 29 C4 93 3F 95 05 2B 79 2A B2
Beagle is fitted with state of the art, top of the range Pringles tin....
liqbase
s/s h/ sh/
Think of it in a positive way. It'll save a lot of money that otherwise would be spent analysing the signals and coming up with conclusive evidence that Mars has rocks on it.
Regards,
--
*Art
There is no reason to bash the Europeans as a whole as they like to do Americans.
What an odd way to bash Europeans...
Try 1 for 1, not counting Beagle or the current Spirit and Opportunity probes.
;-)
Shh... don't jinx it. It'd be tragic to see Spirit crushed, and Opportunity lost.
Beagle 2 is 68 Kilograms. The Viking landers were around 576 Kilograms, around 200 pounds of which was fuel.
Dude, seriously don't mix up your units. We already crashed one over that.