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USA To Return To Moon By 2015, Then Mars
securitas writes "This afternoon George Bush announced space exploration plans for the USA to return to the Moon by 2015, the design and construction of a new space vehicle fleet by 2014 (called the Crew Exploration Vehicle) to replace the aging space shuttles which will be retired in 2010, and the construction of a permanent Moon base, followed by manned missions to Mars. The initiative begins with a $1 billion increase to NASA's budget and $12 billion in new space exploration money over next five years. However Congress is concerned about how to pay for the new space policy initiative in the face of a $500 billion national budget deficit. AP via Yahoo has a Moon/Mars/space policy FAQ, and there's more at NASA and the New York Times among others."
And if a married couple goes up together NASA gets $1.5 billion more!
Or did President Bush say "Crew Expiration Vehicle" three times during his speech, and made reference to "expiration that will inspire today's students"?
I've been around Texas, and I tell you I've never heard a native Texan mispronounce a word like "exploration" so obviously, repeatedly, and to me, ominously.
Bleakness... Desolation... Plastic Forks...
Jeez, just yesterday I read about how they were searching for water on Mars, now we're looking for Bushes on the Moon? They aughta start with that young one ... I bet Jenna's fallen over and seen stars a bunch of times...
The way he pays for everything else ... by cutting taxes, of course!
In the 1960's, it took us under 9 years from Kennedy's pledge to land on the moon.
Now we can do it in 11!
"I believe that the cult of the particular brings only death - for it bases order on likeness." St.-Exupery
In 1961, when shit wasn't invented yet and people fought bears for vital food, President Kennedy had the balls to give NASA less than nine years to get to the moon.
In this day and age, when there's metric shitloads of technology all over the place and the internet makes valuable porn as free as air, President Bush gives it twelve years. What a tool.
Now I am reading more, and the deadline is actually 2020. That's seventeen years.
See, Kennedy had the balls to lay a firm deadline down. "You bitches will put a man on the moon before January 1, 1970 or I will come back from the grave and kick your ass," he said. He knew he was going to get shot. That's how hardcore he was. He also got crazy laid by Marilyn Monroe.
President Bush says, "You ought to think about just possibly putting a man on the moon sometime during this five year period."
President Kennedy showed us that you have to slap NASA around a little bit to get them to do anything worthwhile with manned space exploration. You can't be all lovey-dovey and set long gradual timetables.
And Bush mentions "the goal of living and working there for increasingly extended periods." So we'll have another Skylab ISS, but on the moon. The only differences will be that it won't crash into Australia like Skylab (it will crash into the Moon instead - that might sound hard to acheive since it would already be on the surface of the moon, but they will find a way to do that), it will leak more than ISS, and since it won't even be international we won't be able to bum rides from the Russians.
If Kennedy was alive in this day and age he would have said, "Fucking NASA, I am still alive in this day and age so you assholes better have a self-sufficient Mars base by the year 2013. Also make me a space elevator. And resurrect Marilyn Monroe." Then NASA would complain that it is not their job to resurrect people and Kennedy would punch NASA in the eye.
I bet the "Crew Exploration Vehicle" is going to blow the fuck up about twenty times too. You can probably trace the suckiness of manned space exploration to the decision to switch from cool names like "Mercury" and "Apollo" to crappy names like "Skylab" and "STS." When the Apollo blew up they fucking fixed it and came home, but when the Space Shuttle gets fucked up they make Powerpoints about it and ignore the problem.
Tim
Omnia vestra castrorum habetur nobis.
We can it's just that people don't want to live in the desert...no Starbucks or burger joints.
People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
That's right. A few billion here, a few billion there. Pretty soon, it starts to add up to real money.
Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
1989: President (George H.) Bush announces that we're going to Mars by 2020.
2004: President (George W.) Bush announces that we're going to the Moon by 2020. Then to Mars.
2013: President (Jeb) Bush announces that the Chinese have agreed to allow us to send an American astronaut to their new moonbase, but only if we abandon all remaining manufacturing efforts.
2022: President (Jenna) Bush sadly informs the country that the Moon has come to us - the Chinese are dropping asteroid sized chunks of lunar debris on us, a new weapon that even our not-yet-deployed Star Wars program can defend against.
2034: An American finally lands on Mars, although only symbolically. A statue of the last President of the United States, Jenna Bush, is erected in the new Martian People's Republic History Museum.
Do I even want to think of the new positions thought up in zero gravity? *shudders*
Karma whorin' since 1999
Beagle Discovers Life On Mars
Beagle Discovers Oil On Mars
Bush anounces "Operation Martian Freedom"
Martians wellcome troops but "alien terrorists" from Neptune skirmish with coalition troops.
President Yaxcbat ( Neptune ) announces "Operation Freedom Earth"
Neptunians arrive at Earth and kick some Dubya butt
Neptunians introduce foolproof ballot punching machines using superior alien technology
Republicans thrown out of the Green House ( As the aliens renamed it )
Earth is happy.
The bikini - security through obscurity since 1943
The Mars ship may not be made in America, and the crew will be Dynagen contractors, but we can take pride in the fact that exclusive broadcast rights of the landings will belong to American big media companies.
Bush just tell the taxpayers that he was going to Uranus
For instance, if we allocated a billion of those dollars to public education they'd probably waste it teaching kids to read and right.
"called the Crew Exploration Vehicle"
I am the only one would immediately thought of cavity searches..?
What the hell kind of name is the "Crew Exploration Vehicle"? At least the shuttle didn't have some crazy name; it was the shuttle. And it is a shuttle, so that was an OK name.
Then you had the Apollo landers. The name of a *god* who rode through the heavens in a flaming chariot. Now *there*'s an appropriate name. Or the "Saturn V". Named after another god (or a planet, but whatever). Still better than C.E.V.
Has anyone tried to *say* CEV? Chev? Chevy? How are we supposed to pronounce it? I swear, it sounds like a suppository.
This is a sign of bad leadership somewhere. It has to be. No one but a comittee would call a Mars craft the "Crew Exploration Vehicle". I don't want to explore the crew! Eck!
Oh well, I guess some old-timer there has some strange fetish... it is the end of all hope.
I bet the "Crew Exploration Vehicle" is going to blow the fuck up about twenty times too. You can probably trace the suckiness of manned space exploration to the decision to switch from cool names like "Mercury" and "Apollo" to crappy names like "Skylab" and "STS."
If you really want to explain the difference between the successful Apollo days and the failed promises of the Space Shuttle, it's to your credit that you've identified the problem as psychological, but you've failed to understand the specific psychology.
What is the most distinctive difference between the Saturn V (and all it's successful kin, including the current ultra-cost-effective Russian rockets servicing the ISS) and the Space Shuttle? The Saturn V looks like a penis.
Come on, think about it. These are rocket scientists here. Many of them aren't getting laid, and the rest aren't getting laid very frequently. If you aren't even going to let them subconsciously work out their frustrations via overcompensating engineering, what reason do they have to get out of bed in the morning, much less reach for the stars?
What about the roads? Surely the roads go without saying. How about Public health? The aqueducts? The wine? Sanitation? Medicine? Education?
Ho! Haha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
Aparently congress unanimously voted to give the money to DIEBOLD instead.
in the unprecidented vote of 1638458 to 0
I will not give in to the terrorists. I will not become fearful.
what could the plan be? turning the moon into some kind of death star?
hopefully.
My problem? I was perfectly gruntled, until some numbnuts came by and dissed me.
Now he is going to look for WMD in the moon? Those evil terrorists!
"There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
No, you have to build the space station seperate from the moon. How else can my grandchildren look at me strange when they point up and ask if that is the moon and I reply with a chuckle, "That's not a moon. That's a space station."
You think those explosions in the Australian outback are a coincidence? That ain't a fractionator mate, it's a launch tower! Those weren't gas explosions, they were rocket fuel!!! Think Dubya is being a mongrel by not signing Kyoto? It's not that he doesn't like it, just that it is irrelevant, 'cause he won't be here!!! Is he a bastard for tearing up the ABM treaty? He needs that gone so he can get his launch vehicles away! Dick's affilation with big business is just a front for the collection of global fatcats who will be riding the rocketship to freedom, away from environmental disaster.
Up until now the only bit we haven't been able to figure out has been the destination. Now we know! It's Mars!!! First stop will be the moon, from where Dubya and friends will move onto their new Martian Utopia while the rest of us fry back here on earth!!!
As I write this, I'm boucing through the outback, in a ute with my comrades, tinfoil akubra on my head. Our objective is to save civilisation from this menace . It's a tough mission, but someone's gotta do it. Wish us well and pray for us as we roll towards our destiny...
OK maybe he wasn't that eloquent.
Web2.0: I love when people Flickr my cuil and digg my boingboing until my google is reddit and I start to yahoo
What do you mean return to the moon? We've never been there.
Joe
All the guys at JPL have to do is fake some soil sample results from Spirit, claim to have found oil, and we'll be landing on Mars within 5 years.
Just because you can mod me down, doesn't mean you're right. Shoes for industry!
GWB supposedly speaks to the President of Mexico in Spanish. Are we to believe that GWB's Spanish is better than his English? If not, why aren't we at war with Mexico?
Already we have a big schedule slip. That's so NASA.
Perhaps if his school had an extra nickel, he would have used the correct 'write'.
The Kruger Dunning explains most post on
Look at the shadows! They are all pointing in the wrong direction! And the reflections on his head don't line up with the overhead lights! And if you analyze the echos of the applause, you can tell that the room it was recorded in has wood panelling and not the plaster that you see on tv! All of this proves the speech was faked!