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Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Rumors
Stop reading if you're spoiler paranoid. ChazeFroy writes "The actor who played Chewbacca in the original Star Wars trilogy, Peter Mayhew, will be in Episode III. Of course, this has been previously reported and comes as no surprise. However, TheForce is reporting that Mayhew's contract contains a stipulation that he must also appear in Episodes 7, 8, and 9. This was first reported in the British movie magazine Hot Dog, whose December issue with this news just hit US newstands."
Star Wars Episode 7: Milking the Cash Cow
Star Wars Episode 8: Beating a Dead Horse
Star Wars Episode 9: Please God, Make it Stop Already!
Do not read this sig.
The force is strong with me. I see these movies coming out, and thousands of voices scream out in excitement, followed by anger.
The future is always cloudy.
no
7, 8 and 9? I must be one uninformed geek. I thought I only had 1 more disapointing movie left to watch.
Th
Now VI, VII, and VII. Star Wars - teaching Roman numerals to whole new generation.
the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
If you thought that you were going to have to wait a long time to get the original trilogy DVDs before...
- c -
Well I would HOPE SO! If anyone but Peter Mayhew played Chewbacca I just don't think it would pass... I mean, it takes some serious talent to walk around in a big furry costume for a while... And while they're at it they better get the same people for C3P0 and Vader or this movie just won't quite work!
-matt
"Oh thank God! I'll may yet eat another meal that wasn't first deposited in a dumpster!"
There's a Mercedes gap too. I want one and can't afford one, but it's not government's job to do anything about it.
They killed JarJar?
-matt
I thought I remember hearing Lucas never wanted to write them?
:o)
Well, we're in luck then. They might actually be watchable.
"I felt a great disturbance in movie buffs... as if millions of viewers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced."
Most likely their own organs went into revolt. Geeks everywhere left Episode II with their brains subconciously chanting: "If you are so stupid to watch the next one, I will KILL YOU!"
~D
This sig has been enciphered with a one-time pad. It could say almost anything.
Special Edition new scenes = sucked.
Episode 1 = sucked.
Episode 2 = sucked.
Episode 3 = ?
It was the sound of millions of Star Wars fans yelling "Can we FINALLY see Jar Jar DIE? Please!?" :P
I thought that Chewbacca played a key role in the OJ case.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
I disagree. No matter how many horrible sequels he puts out, millions of dorks will shell out their money for each one just so see for themselves how bad it is. If they fail to see one, they'll miss out on all the fun when their friends bitch about how bad it was.
Good god, Pee-Wee Herman as Frodo? You have an evil mind sir, eeeevillll....
Nothing a few million $ couldn't rectify.
So what would Episodes 7-9 be like...
<Daydream Sequence>
Star Wars, Episode 7: A New Threat
Synopsis: Luke and Leia get married and head off on a honeymoon, leaving Han Solo and Chewbacca to watch over selection of the new senate. Han Solo gets bored and starts hyperspace download site of music and video content against the wishes of the immensely powerful IGRIMPAA (Inter Galactic Recording Industry and Motion Picture Artists Association), a thinly veiled group of thugs and bandits who have kept entertainers in thrall. Big cruisers appear out of hyperspace around Coruscant and Jar Jar Bings, in their employe serves subpoenas, furthering audience animosity.
Star Wars, Episode 8: Just An Awufl Mess
Synopsis: Luke and Leia return to Coruscant and find the IGRIMPAA firmly running things, Han Solo and Chewbacca rotting in prison and several worlds in outright rebellion. Luke procedes to reform a Jedi council, but finds space cruiser bombs going off all over the place. President Jar Jar Binks attempts to alay Luke's concerns, until it's found Leia has an ePod loaded with bootleg tunes from Naboo. Jar Jar reveals well kept secret that he is master of dark side and cuts off Luke's other hand in epic lightsabre battle. Han and Chewy come to rescue and all flee to the a distant world only to find another massive Deathstar built with IGRIMPAA profits.
Star Wars, Episode 9: Last of the Red-Hot Jedi
Synopsis: Luke and Leia's child, Xyzzy, demonstrates great skill with the force and greater skill with the source, hacks into DeathStar and shuts it down, in a bit of a special effects let-down, just see big ball with lights go out, no explosion. Luke and Leia return to Coruscant, along with Han and Chewbacca and in a final battle Luke duels with Jar Jar, both slice each other in half and last threat is brought to an end, except for offspring of Skywalkers, who demonstrates a slight inclination to power and position and a bit of an angry streak. We've been here before, no?
</Daydream Sequence>
A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
A few typos; it should have read:
Star Wars Episode 7: Beating the Cash Cow
Star Wars Episode 8: Milking a Dead Horse
Star Wars Episode 9: If There Were A God, It Would Have Stopped Already
George Lucas: You can't win, Peter. If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
C-3PO: R2 says that the chances of episodes 7-9 surviving are 725 to 1. Actually R2 has been known to make mistakes... from time to time... Oh dear...
C-3PO: Sir, the possibility of successfully extending this series is approximately 3,720 to 1!
Lucas: Never tell me the odds!
Typos... that's just how I role.
So, you're saying I'll see you in line, eh?
People whine "OMG YOU KILLED _______" when it was actually one of the best things they could have done for the Star Wars universe.
What??? Kenny was in Star Wars??? I think I would have noticed him!!
My guess is that Jar Jar is destined to die on Alderaan.
I'd love to see an extra scene in Episode 4 where Jar Jar looks to the heavens and sees the Death Star. And just as the laser fires his last words are "Mesa thinks this is very bom-bad".
(earth shattering)KABOOM!!
wbs.
Huh?
I saw Episode 2 at the Discount Cinema on dollar movie night (Tuesdays) just to stick it to Lucas.
Yoda kicking ass was worth a dollar, but I'd've paid full price to see Boba Fett torture and kill Anakin and Amidala. Twice.
Fuck continuity.
-l
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he's heading for that small movie.
H: I think I can get him before he gets there...he's almost in range.
(the small movie begins to take on the appearance of another trilogy)
B: That's no movie. It's Episode III.
H: The trailer's too good to be Episode III.
L: I have a very bad feeling about this.
H: Yeah, I think you're right. Full reverse! Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power. (the ship begins to shudder) Chewie, lock in the auxiliary power!
L: Why are we still moving towards it?
H: We're caught in the Lucas beam! It's pulling us in!
L: But there's gotta be something you can do!
H: There's nothing I can do about it, kid, I've already seen Episodes I and II. I'm going to have to shut down. But they're not going to get me without a fight!
Casablanca: Bogart decides to stay but never gets a job. Bacall kicks his lazy ass off the couch and into the street.
Citizen Kane: Kane finally realizes that he needs therapy and later goes to a yoga retreat in Tahiti.
Catch-22: Most of the airbase crew are arrested and shot for insubordination. Yosarian surrenders the entire base to some Italian villagers.
It is by the juice of the coffee bean that thoughts acquire speed, the teeth acquire stains. The stains become a warning
Call me crazy, but Jackson handled LOTR with about the most love and care and achievement I could ever expect from making it into a Hollywood trilogy.
So, if Lucas doesn't want to do VII-IX himself, that's fine, but how about he let Jackson take over? You end up with a vastly superior sequel trilogy, and we'd probably get the movies 1 year apart instead of 3.
[Princess Leia torture scene in Death Star]
The floating torture droid has been removed and replaced with a TV and DVD carousel player...
[Vader places Ep's 1-3 and 7-9 in carousel]
Vader: [finger poised over Play button] So Princess, where is the Rebels' secret base?
--- I wish I could hear the soundtrack to my life. That way I'd know when to duck.
It appears that code isn't the only thing subject to re-writes. Time to opensource SW and let's make 1000 different versions of it.
"Look Lois, the two symbols of the Republican Party: an elephant, and a fat white guy who is threatened by change."
...about the devastating results of too many alterations?
Yub-yub!
Don't forget counting the money...
Year: 2038 Headline Star Wars Episode 9 Completed. Episodes I through VI redone to remove inconsistencies ( just under nuclear disaster caused by 32 bit date rollover ) 01 Anakin is now an Ewok in all episodes 02 Jabba The Hut actually molests Princess Leia 03 ...
Seems Star Wars will never be finished..
Eat at Joe's.
Why was EP VI afraid of EP VII?
Because VII VIII IX!
Give a hand, not a hand-out.
He was in Ep. 4! Owen Lars bought the droids from him!
Hey! Do not taunt happy-fun-ball!
Another way to look at it...
... tastyfish?
Special Edition new scenes = poison...
Episode 1 = poison...
Episode 2 = poison...
Episode 3 =
I predict we'll see Episodes VII, VIII, and IX someday, no matter what George Lucas says now. And we'll probably see other movies as well. (I'd like to see some "Jedi Academy" movies.)
Totally. If not sooner, then the day after Lucas dies his heirs will sell the rights to the Star Wars universe for $1 billion (or so) to Fox and they'll start making the movies again. They won't stop until Episode XVII (or so).
And then after they've gotten every last dollar out of the movie seriies, they'll turn it into a 3d TV show for our grandkids. Or our grandkids' pets. Or something.
"If I could live to be several hundred
I could take a walk and really wander, really wonder."
>>The rumors (see earlier post in this topic) say he will be seen celebrating on Naboo after the Empire is overthrown at the end of the movie. Sorry to disappoint those who would love to see Jar-Jar get whacked!
I forgot about that rumor. You're right.
But it would still be a cool scene, looking up at the Death Star from the planet surface.
wbs.
Huh?
Meanwhile on the Millennium Falcon...
"I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if a jibbering idiot suddenly squeeled in terror and was suddenly silenced."
Your courageous and selfless spelling corrections have made me a better person.
And last but not least... all weapons have been digitally replaced with walkie-talkies!!
If construction was anything like programming, an incorrectly fitted lock would bring down the entire building...
While Lucas is at it destroying the movies, how about Jar Jar turning to the dark side in Ep 4.
We get a scene of Darth Vader telling Jar Jar to lash out with his anger and Jar Jar goes ballistic and runs around killing anything he can get his hands on.
Then, in ROTJ, when we see the Emperor, it is actually Jar Jar wearing a hooded robe, he is the new emperor
Me Sa thinks you should lash out with your anger. Then me sa thinks your transition to the dark side will be complete.
Honestly, what better way to make Luke lash out than hearing that whiny voice!
I guess with more ewoks at least we get to see more of them die.
I am Monkey, the Great Sage, equal of heaven!
I'd like to see some "Jedi Academy" movies.
Me too. But only if they're screwball teen sex comedies.
Ok, and here's some content to flesh it out:
-An evil supervillain too arrogant to hire a 6 year old to spot obvious flaws in his plan
-Obnoxiously saccharine aliens
-An equally obnoxious kid
-Bad guys who aim like drunkards
-Good guys who can't get their shit together enough to make sure the bad guys don't keep coming back
Stir vigorously, bake at 320 degrees and voila.
Or, as the man said in the song, "...but there's this contract I had to sign, that I'll be making these movies till the end of time..."
Cole's Law: Thinly sliced cabbage