Politicians For Sale... On Amazon

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Politicians For Sale... On Amazon

Posted by ryuzaki0 on Friday January 23, 2004 @11:03AM from the own-them-all dept.

aldheorte writes "In either a brilliant move or a sick commentary on politics (or both), Amazon is now selling U.S. Presidential candidates, or at least contributions to such."

41 of 425 comments (clear)

Decisions, decisions... by hendridm · 2004-01-23 11:03 · Score: 5, Funny

I can't decide between the serial killer and the dear hunter. Or maybe I'll just take a gamble this year...
1. Re:Decisions, decisions... by McCrapDeluxe · 2004-01-23 11:31 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  That guy's more of a deer hunter. If you want someone who hunts his dears, you'd go for this guy.
2. Re:Decisions, decisions... by Talinom · 2004-01-23 11:34 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I think that I'll vote for Senator Palpatine. At least we know where he stands.
  
  --
  "Giving money and power to governments is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys." - P.J. O'Rourke
3. Re:Decisions, decisions... by FreshFunk510 · 2004-01-23 11:50 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Speaking of which, does this pictures look like it was taken through a sniper scope? It looks like someones about to off him.
  
  --
  
  "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
4. Re:Decisions, decisions... by FreshFunk510 · 2004-01-23 12:15 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Wow. I hope you don't have any firearms, sir.
  
  --
  
  "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
Can't Wait..... by OctaneZ · 2004-01-23 11:03 · Score: 4, Funny

I can't wait til I can donate my $200 to Al Hamburg! and with only One-Click no less! Boy, a grumpy 72 year old man is just what this country needs!
1. Re:Can't Wait..... by FreshFunk510 · 2004-01-23 11:12 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Tell me about it. The best part about him is:
  
  Education: Self-educated by reading
  
  Now that, people, is what I call a TRUE American.
  
  "I read me some books edumacated mah self."
  
  --
  
  "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
2. Re:Can't Wait..... by sabNetwork · 2004-01-23 11:30 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Not to mention that he's divorced with 9 kids. I'm sure the American public looks at him with sympathy.
  
  --
3. Re:Can't Wait..... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-23 11:47 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  "I read me some books edumacated mah self."
  
  Well he sure beats Bush on effort.
4. Re:Can't Wait..... by kfg · 2004-01-23 12:18 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  * Is my math/memory off? Wasn't Black Friday in 1929, which would put him growing up on the tail end of it all?
  
  Your math is fine. Your memory, however, is a bit shakey.
  
  Black Friday was in 2003. In fact, it'll come around again in 2004, just as it does every year, the day after Thanksgiving.
  
  I believe you're thinking of Black Tuesday. :)
  
  KFG
Oh no! Amazon link on Slashdot by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-23 11:05 · Score: 1, Funny

Where's the affiliate Barnes and Noble link for those disagreeing with patents or some damn thing?
Move along, folks... by Black+Parrot · 2004-01-23 11:05 · Score: 5, Funny

The politicians have been selling themselves since forever.

Arguably they're just a sub-specialization of the World's Oldest Profession.

--
Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
Wait, let me get this straight.. by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-23 11:06 · Score: 3, Funny

There's a president of the United States now?

This is all too much for me to handle!
Wow...they DO check the suggestion box by grasshoppa · 2004-01-23 11:07 · Score: 5, Funny

I've been begging them for an easy method for buying a Politician, and here we go. Corporations shouldn't be the only ones with all the fun.

Now, I hope they get around to the second part of my suggestion: Judges.

--
Mod me down with all of your hatred and your journey towards the dark side will be complete!
1. Re:Wow...they DO check the suggestion box by Grrr · 2004-01-23 11:27 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  If only they'd accept Flooz...
  
  <grrr>
If They're Going to Sell Them on Amazon, by CrankyFool · 2004-01-23 11:08 · Score: 4, Funny

I want:
A) "Other Amazon Shoppers who contributed to Howard Dean also purchased..."
B) One-click ordering
1. Re:If They're Going to Sell Them on Amazon, by FreshFunk510 · 2004-01-23 11:19 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  How about a 5-star rating while you're at it? User reviews anyone?
  
  --
  
  "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere." - Martin Luther King, Jr.
2. Re:If They're Going to Sell Them on Amazon, by hopemafia · 2004-01-23 12:11 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Wesley Clark got the most stars of any of them, and he only had 4.
  
  --
  If God had had a computer it would have taken him 7 months to create the earth...if he even bothered to do it at all.
But it used by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-23 11:08 · Score: 3, Funny

I'll just wait a while and then click on the "Buy It Used" button.
Dean by Frizzle+Fry · 2004-01-23 11:09 · Score: 5, Funny

From their page on Howard Dean:

Current Job: Former governor of Vermont
Prior Job(s): Vermont state representative, Vermont lieutenant governor, medical doctor

How is "former governor" a current job? Given that he is no longer governor, wouldn't it make more sense to list governor as a prior job?

--
I'd rather be lucky than good.
1. Re:Dean by nnnneedles · 2004-01-23 11:26 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Current Job: Unemployed
  
  Yeah, that would look really good..
  
  --
  Will code a sig generator for food
Ratings? by jdunlevy · 2004-01-23 11:12 · Score: 5, Funny

What, no option to "RATE THIS CANDIDATE"? No Customer Reviews? No "6 people recommended Howard Dean instead of Dennis J. Kucinich"? No "1 person recommended Lyndon H. LaRouche Jr. in addition to Howard Dean"? ...
1. Re:Ratings? by nacturation · 2004-01-23 11:57 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  George W. Bush:
  
  0 of 2,912,790 Florida voters found this candidate helpful.
  
  --
  Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
Not As Bad As It Seems by thedbp · 2004-01-23 11:12 · Score: 3, Funny

Sure, it seems really cheesy and horrible to be able to "purchase" your candidate online, but at the same time, it give equal screen space to people like Dubya, Sharpton, and... holy cow, who is this?

Al Hamburg?

Divroced with 9 kids. Self educated ... by reading. This guy's got MY dollar AND my vote! God bless the democratic process!
Re:Not quite yet by Anonymous Coward · 2004-01-23 11:14 · Score: 1, Funny

Current conditions: 25 F

I'd say it's pretty cold .
Re:Contibutions by SkArcher · 2004-01-23 11:16 · Score: 5, Funny

If it was a really sick commentary on Politics, they'd be selling them on eBay

--

An infinite number of monkeys will eventually come up with the complete works of /.
Re:Contibutions by BJH · 2004-01-23 11:21 · Score: 2, Funny

However, I would prefer to see an Internet based voting system that gets rid of the electoral college system....

Well, you could always use Amazon's Sales Rank... ;)
And the burning question is... by Arcanix · 2004-01-23 11:31 · Score: 3, Funny

Can you get your money back if the candidate turns out to be defective?
Re:i'm sure by TaGirl_Keri · 2004-01-23 11:32 · Score: 2, Funny

I'm sorry Sir, This item has been sold already. It was bought in 2000.

--
My fav units are dead Mavs
Does this qualify? by JRHelgeson · 2004-01-23 11:41 · Score: 4, Funny

If I contribute over $25, does that qualify for FREE Super Saver Shipping?

--
Good security is based upon reality and common sense. Common sense is a function of having common knowledge.
1. Re:Does this qualify? by AtomicBomb · 2004-01-23 11:55 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  >> If I contribute over $25, does that qualify for FREE Super Saver Shipping?
  Yes, of course. Empty promise are always delivered for free. :-)
Re:Lucian Wojciechowski by petabyte · 2004-01-23 11:46 · Score: 2, Funny

I couldn't do that to my (not yet existing) children. I mean what would they think?

"Dad, I got a B on my History exam because I couldn't spell President Wojciechowski. How could you vote for him!?!"
"Son, I'm so sorry ..." *tear*
Great Motives as well by llamashoes · 2004-01-23 11:52 · Score: 4, Funny

From Vote-Smart.org

Greatly Increase Funding: k) Other: program to stop school Bullying of litler kids
Re:Nitpicking by TheShadow · 2004-01-23 11:58 · Score: 2, Funny

Well, what if the real number is 90,001? That's not less than 90,000... but it's more than 89,599.

--

--
"What do you want me to do? Whack a guy? Off a guy? Whack off a guy? Cause I'm married."
Re:i'm sure by murphyslawyer · 2004-01-23 12:09 · Score: 2, Funny
- The US is about ready to sell bush to the highest bidder.
Ironically, this statement is equally true no matter how you interpret the phrase "sell bush", especially since we're discussing whoring out politicians.
Of course, the easy thing to do here would be just to make a comment about someone's mother, and be done with it.
--
I ain't evil, I'm just good looking.
Re:Contibutions by mahbidness · 2004-01-23 12:27 · Score: 2, Funny

Great Politician! Would do business with again! A++++++++++++++++

--
"It is a solemn thought: dead, the noblest man's meat is inferior to pork."
Re:Donations from outside United-States? by b-baggins · 2004-01-23 12:27 · Score: 2, Funny

Only if you're a Democrat. You may then donate if you are from any of the following nations:

France
Germany
Canada
Communist China

You may also donate if you are any buddhist monastery.

Communist China is the preferred donor, because they will give you big bucks in exchange for a few little US technology factoids, and they are very good at laundering the money (ooh, a racist joke!)

--
You can tell a great deal about the character of a man by observing those who hate him.
If They're Going to Sell Them on Amazon, by Dukael_Mikakis · 2004-01-23 12:39 · Score: 4, Funny

They should try to keep them in stock. I ordered a Carol Moseley Brown, but it says that she's Out of Print.

And after the Iowa primaries, they should post a notice: Howard Dean [EXPLICIT LYRICS]
Bush contribution schedule by Animats · 2004-01-23 18:42 · Score: 3, Funny
- $5. Added to campaign mailing list.
- $50. Called back by telemarketer.
- $500. Called back by junior campaign staffer.
- $5,000. Called back by senior campaign staffer. Invitation to minor Bush campaign event.
- $50,000. Called back by Cabinet member. VIP invitation to major Bush campaign events.
- $500,000. Bush calls you back and thanks you. Invitation to major event at White House.
- $5,000,000. Karl Rove calls you back, finds out what you want, and makes it happen.
Voting by Popageorgio · 2004-01-23 20:49 · Score: 2, Funny

"Was this contribution worth anything in the grand scheme of things? Rate from 1 to 5."
Quote of the day: by Idarubicin · 2004-01-24 02:52 · Score: 2, Funny

Did anyone else notice the following quote at the bottom of their comment pages this morning?
"I don't care who does the electing as long as I get to do the nominating." -- Boss Tweed
Ah, delicious.

--
~Idarubicin