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IBM Patents Method For Paying Open Source Workers

Posted by simoniker on from the i-heart-patents dept.

Frequanaut writes "Oh, the bitter, bitter irony. According to The Inquirer, in a strange move, IBM has patented a method for paying open source volunteers. By the way, if the future of software development is open source, how will anyone get paid when only IBM can do it?" The Inquirer quizzically notes, with regard to this patent: "It may be an ingenious way of paying open source developers and volunteers, Big Blue, but can it really be described as an invention?"

27 of 426 comments (clear)

  1. Note to Recent Grads by fine09 · · Score: 5, Funny

    One more reason you should take a job with McDonalds.

    1. Re:Note to Recent Grads by JargonScott · · Score: 5, Funny

      When my brother graduated from undergrad, an older prof. at the gym he went to asked what his degree was. "Psychology", he answered. The old prof. said "Oh, that's nice. I hear Wendy's is hiring."

      --
      Nuke Gay Whales for Jesus.
    2. Re:Note to Recent Grads by kevcol · · Score: 4, Funny

      Would you rather swallow your pride or a Wendy's Classic Triple Cheese Combo with Biggie Fries and medium beverage?

    3. Re:Note to Recent Grads by mcpkaaos · · Score: 2, Funny

      No, they only hire people with law degrees.

      --
      It goes from God, to Jerry, to me.
    4. Re:Note to Recent Grads by Saeed+al-Sahaf · · Score: 2, Funny

      Judging by the SCO model of software development, one would guess that a law degree is all you need to get into this field...

      --
      "Who are in control, they are not in control of anything - they don't even control themselves!" - Glen Beck
  2. Wow. by njfuzzy · · Score: 3, Funny

    Talk about a development likely to elicit mixed feelings.

    --
    My Photography - http://ian-x.com
    The Deathlings (comic) - http://thedeathlings.com
  3. business idea by pyros · · Score: 2, Funny

    Who wants to go halfsies with me to patent "method for paying open source workers" on the web? We'll make a fortune!

  4. Hey!? by DaRat · · Score: 4, Funny

    I didn't know that you could patent money!

    Or, is IBM paying them with something else? Peanuts? Filtering their spam for them?

    1. Re:Hey!? by ImprovOmega · · Score: 2, Funny

      Filtering their spam for them?

      I can see the cardboard sign now - Will work for SPAM filtration.
  5. Well by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    Nobody will use it anyway.

    What open source developer gets paid? Anyone? Bueller?

  6. What about my method by Raistlix · · Score: 1, Funny

    I'm convinced that the patent for my method of opening a door and walking through will be completed any day now. Then you'll all owe me big!

  7. Microsoft by chunkwhite86 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Next thing you know Microsoft is going to sue IBM for infringing on their patented methods of preventing OSS workers from getting paid.

    --
    I'd rather be a conservative nutjob than a liberal with no nuts and no job.
  8. In other news... by uucp2 · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...SCO patents method for being paid by Open Source workers

  9. I, for one... by Unnngh! · · Score: 2, Funny
    ...don't feel comfortable working outside of very rigid guidelines. For example, this patent will make my OSS development projects go much smoother, and increase my productivity in some ambiguous way. At least I'll know how to pay myself for my own work, it's pretty important I get all that money.

    Hopefully soon, everything about software and computers will be patented, so I can curb my mind from its aweful tendency to stray outside of the box. Go IBM, Microsoft, et al.!

  10. Summary of the Payment Scheme by The+Clockwork+Troll · · Score: 2, Funny
    First, you sign up to get paid (either with IBM or a designated OSR [open source recruiter]).

    Next, you start recruiting volunteers. For every 25 volunteers you recruit, your base pay increases by paid $5/hr.

    The best part is, every time one of your recruits signs up 25 additional developers, you get a $25 per week bonus!

    Really, you can't lose!

    --

    There are no karma whores, only moderation johns
  11. In related news by Nom+du+Keyboard · · Score: 4, Funny
    IBM...patented a method for paying open source volunteers.

    In related news, SCO claims this is only a derivative work on their system of now getting paid by open source volunteers, and promises to add it to their lawsuit.

    --
    "It's the height of ridiculousness to say for those 9 lines you get hundreds of millions."
  12. Oh yeah by CGP314 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Oh yeah... well I'm going to patent paying IBM workers. Take that big blue.

    --
    In London? Need a Physics Tutor?

    American Weblog in London

    1. Re:Oh yeah by DragonMagic · · Score: 2, Funny

      You're applying for a patent in India?

      --

      Human nature is the same everywhere; the modes only are different. -- Earl of Chesterfield
  13. Re:Would you... by originalTMAN · · Score: 3, Funny

    will I own them or do I have to buy a license?

  14. Re:What do the numbers on that flowchart represent by saden1 · · Score: 2, Funny

    It's not a flowchart, it's a pyramid scheme!

    Those at the top get most of the money.

    --

    -----
    One is born into aristocracy, but mediocrity can only be achieved through hard work.
  15. SCO owns this patent by sbowles · · Score: 2, Funny
    I would like to inform you that SCO already owns the Intellectual Property associated with this patent.

    Anyone wishing to pay open source volunteers must buy a $699 license from SCO.

    signed
    Darl

    --
    You sly dog: you got me monologuing! - Syndrome
  16. I think Mozilla summed it up best for me. by Mr+Z · · Score: 2, Funny

    When I opened this up in a new tab in Mozilla, the tab read "IBM Patents Meth..."

    'Nuff said. Now I know what they're smokin'.

    --Joe
    --
    Program Intellivision!
  17. In other News... by blackmonday · · Score: 3, Funny

    In other news, today Microsoft patented paying people with Xboxes and MCSE courses.

  18. Inventor??? by Screaming+Lunatic · · Score: 2, Funny
    Is it just me or does anyone else find the fact that the second inventor mentioned is named Nimrod?

    Here's the the link again.

  19. Great Excuse for Slave Labor by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Sorry, We'd like to pay you... but that would be patent infringement... now back to work slave! *smack*

  20. Re:Not a safe job by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    A popular line in the outsourcing debate is whether Americans will become a nation of burger flippers, but while you cannot outsource local service jobs like burger flipping, such repetitive acts can be performed locally...by the burger-flipping robot that will replace you.

  21. Don't you understand? It's for the *Children* by fishbowl · · Score: 2, Funny

    See, the reason it's a good thing that every single thing that can be conceived of gets patented *today*, is because it's for *the children.*

    Not just any children, but for the children of the current generation.

    See, all these ridiculous patents (and the reasonable ones as well) are going to expire just as children who are coming into the world right now start to reach the age where they have to work for a living. And LOOK at all the wonderful stuff that will be entering the public domain at the same time!

    The only thing left to do is make sure that copyright is freed at the same time!

    WE MUST DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN.

    --
    -fb Everything not expressly forbidden is now mandatory.