Slashdot Mirror


Vapor Trails - On Famously Unreleased Videogames

Thanks to GamePro for its article discussing formerly in-development videogames which never actually got released. Some of the more unconventional include Data East's Tattoo Assassins ("2D video-captured fighters, whose tattoos come to life and whack on other players. Characters included a Nancy Kerrigan clone and a giant running hot dog"), Sega's Virtua Hamster ("...[involving] polygonal rodents with rocket packs and skateboards swooshing through a huge hamster habitrail, collecting popcorn kernels to spit at enemies"), and Runandgun!'s partially resurrected Duelin' Firemen! ("...[an FMV] game about singing, dancing firemen [starring Rudy Ray Moore].")

24 of 64 comments (clear)

  1. Oh 3D Realms by The-Bus · · Score: 5, Funny

    I think anything 3D Realms announces doesn't come out. Duke is an obvious choice but let's not forget Prey either...

    But once it comes out, rest assured I will be playing it on my Glaze3D chip. Maybe they'll even port it to the Phantom!

    --

    Small potatoes make the steak look bigger.

  2. Tattoo Assassins... by Lazyhound · · Score: 5, Informative

    ...is actually available as a MAME ROM now.

    1. Re:Tattoo Assassins... by Lazyhound · · Score: 4, Informative

      Also, holy ****, the GamePro article is a word-for-word reprint of a feature they published in the magazine about four years ago, with one or two games added. How lame is that?

    2. Re:Tattoo Assassins... by *weasel · · Score: 3, Funny

      as lame as gamepr....
      hm...

      maybe we shoulda seen that coming

      --
      // "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"
  3. Virtual Hamster?? by osullish · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would love to know what they were smoking when they thought of that!

    Stoned Developer 1 : "uugh dude, (takes a deep puff..) do you know what there isn't enough of in games to day?"
    Stoned Developer 2 :"uugh I dunno dude"
    Stoned Developer 1 :"Hamsters man, just think about it dude.."
    Stoned Developer 2 :"crazeeee man"

    --
    It's hard enough to remember my opinions, never mind the reasons for them..
    1. Re:Virtual Hamster?? by Yorrike · · Score: 4, Funny

      Stoned Developer 2 :"Dude! (takes another puff), you know what else is missing?"
      Stoned Developer 1 :"Whassat?"
      Stoned Developer 2 :"Fuckin', games, like, where you fire angry lightbulbs at hopped up rainbows while flying backwards through Atlanis on a hunk of cheese!"
      Stoned Developer 1 :"Dude!"

      --

      Looks can be deceiving. Or CAN they?

  4. Hamsters? by neostorm · · Score: 2, Interesting

    That's such a funny idea. I would have loved to see that.

    Reminds me of "Battle Hamster" http://www.the-underdogs.org/game.php?id=3403

  5. hamsters? been done. by *weasel · · Score: 4, Funny

    go for the eyes boo, GO FOR THE EYES!

    --
    // "Can't clowns and pirates just -try- to get along?"
    1. Re:hamsters? been done. by Engdy · · Score: 2, Funny

      Butt kicking for goodness!

      --
      Siggy Wiggy Figgy Tiggy a bana bo Biggy!
  6. Dueling Firemen by hrieke · · Score: 2, Insightful

    What sick twisted mind came up with this?
    Just watch the video...

    --
    III.IIVIVIXIIVIVIIIVVIIIIXVIIIXIIIIIIIIVIIIIVVIIIV IIVIIIIIIVIII...
    1. Re:Dueling Firemen by pezpunk · · Score: 3, Insightful

      seriously! i watched the trailer for this and my jaw just went slack. timothy leary, mark mothersbaugh, steve albini, and the guy that created Dolemite are in it. the other actors, though, are kinda weird. it's really hard to discern any details from that website, but apparently this was going to be a 3DO title?!?! seriously wacked. the trailer opens (i THINK) with 2 airplanes crashing into downtown Chicago, and lots of high-rises bursting into flames ... oddly prescient for 1996. apparently the citizenry of chicago reacts by doing 500 hits of acid each and throwing a big party. aliens(?) arrive. firemen breakdance. timothy leary turns into Max Headroom. what the fuck?

      --
      i could live a little longer in this prison
    2. Re:Dueling Firemen by cgenman · · Score: 2, Funny

      I believe that is an airplane and a space shuttle crashing into the Sears Tower. Everyone left alive runs to the Hancock building to boogie down. As for actual gameplay... Who knows?

      I also believe that this is the first videogame that Tony Hawk has appeared in, either by image or by proxy. Also the presence of the Reverend Ivan Stang and Timothy Leary means that the game was made in connection with The Church of the Subgenius.

      Personally I hope they make this into a full-length movie. With primary filming already in the can, it could probably go down as one of the best terrible movies in history. Pull a Rocky Horror and only show it late on Friday Nights and you could have a winner.

    3. Re:Dueling Firemen by Allison+Geode · · Score: 2, Interesting

      see, I thought the same thing: this would make an AWESOME screwball midnight movie. they seriously should dust off the non-interactive segments (what am I talking about? its an fmv game, there ARE no interactive segments.) and sell it to some cable network. I mean, hey, I saw a movie where aliens implant people with alien dna via easy listening music and graham crackers, and the aliens only weakeness was polka late at night on cable. it was the stupidest thing I've ever seen, and if I knew the title of it, I'd look for a dvd of it. (hint hint: cookie for anyone who knows the title.) Duelin' firemen looks at least twice as screwed up, and twice as awesome. truly a travesty it never got released: would have been the best game on the 3do, except for Gex. but that got ported, so it doesn't count.

  7. Why not games that would've (could've) been good? by wheresdrew · · Score: 2, Interesting
    Why most the ones in the article look like there was a good reason they got shelved.

    Why not list Half-Life for Dreamcast or Macintosh? What about Thrill Kill for PS1?

    (Okay, Thrill Kill made it out in various forms - I still have my copy - but it wasn't ever "officially" released.)

  8. I would think Malice for tXBox deserves a mention. by freidog · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Malice was one of the titles used to show of the power of the XBox before it was released . If you paid attention to the XBox hype, chances are you saw some Malic screenshots.
    It was widely expected to be a release title in fact. But here 3+ years latter, no release date ia availibe, the Official webpage no longer exists, and we've heard nothing from Argonaut Games in the last year or so.

  9. Warcraft Adventures by Clomer · · Score: 3, Insightful

    I'm surprised that nobody has mentioned WarCraft Adventures: Lord of the Clans. It was to be Blizzard's first adventure game, but was cancelled as a nearly complete game. Oh well, at least the story is now available as a novel. And it is part of WarCraft official cannon, as it plays into the setup of WarCraft III.

    --
    Intelligent responses welcome, flames will be met with marshmallows.
  10. Fallout 3 & Xcom by samsmithnz · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Don't forget about the ill-fated Fallout 3...
    http://www.petitiononline.com/fallout3/petition.ht ml
    http://www.gamespot.com/pc/rpg/fallout3/news_60856 20.html

    and XCom, I don't know how many times this project has been canned and then resurected again 2 years later...
    http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~xcom/x6x1.shtml
    http://dynamic.gamespy.com/~xcom/x8x1.shtml

    These are the two biggies for me...

  11. Penn & Teller's Smoke and Mirrors by Pluvius · · Score: 3, Interesting

    If I had to pick one piece of vaporware I'd want to be able to play, this would be it. It was a bunch of screwed-up mini-games, including this one where you have to drive from somewhere to Las Vegas in a tour bus. I remember reading a preview for it in Video Games (aka the best gaming mag ever); a couple of the staff members actually took turns playing the tour bus game for like eight hours before they accidentally wrecked and ruined all their "progress."

    Rob

  12. Re:Marble Man? by Thedalek · · Score: 2, Interesting

    The ROMs are out there, it's just a matter of getting them leaked.

    Don't you mean a matter of getting them dumped?

    I recall a few years back (before CPS2 encryption was cracked) someone started posting to some Mame dev boards saying that he owned a MarbleMan cabinet. Once someone asked him how much he would want for such a thing, he quoted some absurd figure.

    That didn't discourage the Mame fans, though. They started a collection to reach the mark (I think it was $10,000), and were making serious progress before he decided he wouldn't sell.

    --
    Happiness is relative, Based upon the way we live.
  13. Polybius! by Man+In+Black · · Score: 2, Interesting

    Polybius is one game that I've always wanted to see surface some day... any game that was written by the military/CIA/(insert conspiracy theory here) and can give people amnesia and horrible nightmares has got to be one hell of a game!!

    Sadly, I think it's actually been proven to be a hoax.

    --
    -"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." -EH
  14. How About Nintendo? by aceadean · · Score: 2, Funny

    I seem to remember reading about this great game for the NES called Doki Doki Panic... Man I wonder whatever happend to that game?

  15. Ben, we hardly knew ye by spyrochaete · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Too bad the world will never see Full Throttle 2. Lucasarts axed it because it did not meet their high quality standards. Also, the actor who voiced the protagonist Ben passed away a year or two ago. Shame. The original was a cool, cool game.

    1. Re:Ben, we hardly knew ye by Black+Hitler · · Score: 2, Interesting
      The original was a cool, cool game.
      And the new one looked terrible. Seriously, the screenshots they released were sub-Grim Fandango in terms of graphics quality and they were describing it as an "action-adventure" instead of pure adventure, complete with lots of fistfights (in fact, most of the released screenshots were of action scenes). Can't say I'm terribly crushed they canned it.