What to Get My Geek for Valentine's Day?

A reader writes "Help!!! I've been dating my geek for three months and I'm in a bit of a dilemma. So I thought I'd ask the men of Slashdot what they would want as a Valentine's Day gift. I'm looking for something out of the ordinary that will knock his socks off. Somthing clever, crafty and unique. The budget is $100. My geek's interests are typical geek fare, games, computers, music and gadgetry. So! You, men of Slashdot, tell me what you would want to recieve for Valentine's day and help me make my geek happy."

Comments

The Best Store

[rockwood]

That's easy, almost anything from Think Geek

Lucky bastard...

[thedoktor]

It's not enough that he has a girlfriend, she has the brains to get him a geek toy too. Like i said - lucky bastard

Something non-geeky

[jdepew]

If he's anything like most of us geeks, we'll buy the geek toys ourselves to make sure we get exactly what we want.

So, my suggestion is, get him something non-geeky that he'd like or has commented on that shows you realize he is much more than just Geek.

Re:Something non-geeky

[lcde]

I would have to second this comment. I think if my gf bought me a HD or a thinkgeek t-shirt i would be kind of disapointed because those are things that i would just go out and buy if i need. I would rather have something that would remind me of her whenever i see it.

Re:Something non-geeky

[coolgeek]

And I hate to say it, most geek toys cost more than $100.

Here's an idea: get him something that is not geek-oriented at all. He will probably treasure it more than something destined to end up in one of his techno-junk piles or handed down to his "lower-tech" buddies.

Re:Something non-geeky

[iabervon]

As a particular suggestion along these lines, geeks tend not to pay much attention to the ergonomics of their computers. It is pretty likely that you could get him something cheap that he'd never think to get that would substantially improve how he feels after a long coding session. Good candidates include lighting, comfortable indoor footwear, and a good chair.

You can also generally find better keyboards and mice, but you'll want to have him try a bunch and pick his favorite, because different ones feel better for different people.

Re:Something non-geeky

[KingJoshi]

I wish I had mod points (time expired yesterday).

But I can't agree with you more. I don't give christmas gifts, birthday gifts or whatever. If I see something in the store that reminds me of someone and think they'd like it, and I can afford it, I'll get it for them. I hate the attitudes of people of expecting something, and thankfully, my family is understanding of my philosophy. If it's about giving, why hold it to a particular day (here's your christmas gift, I got it weeks ago but you can't enjoy it until a certain day). How idiotic is that? Then, it becomes more about making yourself feel better about giving than the actual giving.

And as others have said, dont get me "geek" stuff unless you know I want it. I always appreciate the thought, effort put into gifts and the caring by the other person, but if I had wanted to buy an mp3 player or whatever, I would've. Maybe I want the Rio instead of an iPod. Maybe I care more about the RPM than HD size. Even if you get expert advice from other "geeks", their values and tastes can (and tend to) differ.

The best thing about a relationship, imo, is the intimacy. Spend valentines day together playing games that you both like or watch some movies that you guys like or whatnot. Plan the day together and lose yourself in each other's company and love.

Re:Something non-geeky

[PsiPsiStar]

The old saying that 'it's the thought that counts' works here. My girlfriend knit me scarf one time. Give her a single red rose. Give something you make. Give of yourself. If a person really loves you, they'll like that better than anything you can buy them. Girls like attention as much as they like gifts. A lot of small gifts are better than huge expensive things, because many small gifts (of inconsequential cost. A piece of foil wrapped chocolate on her pillow, for instance. Breakfast in bed, etc.) demonstrate that you're thinking about her.

If she wants more, ask yourself if she's worth it.

Hrm

[GigsVT]

This story is kinda fishy.

"A Reader" writes... A reader of Slashdot that doesn't know what a geek wants as a gift, Okkaaay.

This whole thing seems like a big shill story to get people to post links to ThinkGeek, which is of course owned by the same company as Slashdot.

What do you *both* want?

[Dolohov]

It's easy to give a geek gifts. ThinkGeek.com alone should satisfy you there. For V's Day, you might want to look for something you'd both enjoy, so that his immediate response isn't "Must go off and use new gadget alone!" Two-player videogames you're willing to play with him, DVDs you'll both like, that kind of thing. Stuff like books or single-player video games can wait until his birthday.

Re:The gift he'll cherish

[s20451]

I've often wondered why there are no girls on slashdot. Now I know.

Love

[LamerX]

Being a lonely geek myself, I would say that I would be happy just getting to spend my day with a girl I love. The only thing that I would ever want would be her company for that day. There is no material object on the planet that would make me as happy as just getting to spend time someone I love. Just to hold her in my arms, and enjoy her company. Maybe sitting out in a park bench in the middle of the night looking out over a lake at the cityscape.

Really consider sex

[GoofyBoy]

Unfortunately "give him sex!" comments are getting modded down.

Seriously, healthly people like sex. Good caring sex, more so.

You get him $100 worth of somethng from ThinkGeek and its something anyone could give, really lacks creativity and will be forgotten in a year.

Hot, wild monkey sex with a liberal dose of caring and understanding towards your partner's needs will blow his/her mind away, is going to be unique to each other and will strengthen your relationship.

If, for your personal reasons, you are waiting to get married or whatever, then head over to ThinkGeek.

Re:Really consider sex

[pla]

Seriously, healthly people like sex. Good caring sex, more so.

Agreed. Although, having sex on Valentine's day kinda counts as the norm. So, not really a "present", so much as "expected". Sure, most people enjoy sex, and if their first time, well, okay, I guess that would count as "special". But if someone I'd dated for more than a year decided to "give" me sex for some special occasion, I'd feel a tad annoyed - More so than getting nothing.

Go for ThinkGeek. You'll have the best chance of getting something he'd like, but wouldn't insist on picking the model number and production run himself.


If, for your personal reasons, you are waiting to get married or whatever, then

...Then expect a "Welcome to Dump City, population, you" card. Really, waiting for marriage... I always find that cute. It usually lasts until the first year of college, at which point the most reserved females out there become total sluts (while those who have "experimented" already tend to stay in control).

Sexist generalization? Yup. But true.

Re:Really consider sex

[scottblascocomposer]

Sexist generalization? Yup. But true.

Really? Maybe some places. My wife and I waited until we were married, and most of our friends did, too. So we went to a private school, whatever. Even at the university where I did my grad work, there were a lot of people waiting for engagement or marriage. I think it tends to get exaggerated that people don't wait for marriage anymore. A lot of people do, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Suppression, as opposed to repression, is not a bad thing... it just means you think something is special or important enough to reserve it, despite the fact that it may mean delaying gratification. Repression gets people into trouble because it's hard to break the guilt and shame association that they've convinced themselves of, and it ends up screwing up their married sex lives.

Also, I have to say that it's pretty shallow to break off a relationship because your partner wants to wait to have sex. It's only one part of a multi-faceted interaction, and you'll do just fine without for a while.

Re:Really consider sex

[localman]

And how long have you been married? My wife and I were each other's first and only. And I thought it was really something special. For the 12 years that it lasted, that is. Then I found out that she had three affairs behind my back over the course of the last year.

Now I really wish I had been a little more free in my earlier years. Nobody likes to get cheated on, but I think it's worse when you're an innocent fool like I was. Now I'm a balding middle aged guy with few prospects and the only love I've ever had demoted me to fourth place (at best).

Anyways -- everyone's different. But don't be surprised if it happens to you. 70% of all marriages include infidelity, I've learned. And that's just the ones who admit it on a survey.

I used to think that sex was a meaningful act of love. That's still the only way I've experienced it. But I think that it's healthier and more realistic if you think of it as a game.

Cheers.

A memory is the best present one can give

[MonkeysKickAss]

You need to be original, so what you should do is not buy him just anything but you should give him a memory. Things can break, but a memory is alwayys there so plan a roantic dinner with candles, inscence, rent his favorite movie, and prepare a home cooked meal (if you can't cook buy something and make it look as if you prepared it). You don't want to out do him because then he will hate himself, and after dinner go for a walk and then finally go back to your place put on the movie, cuddle up next to him and just enjoy. Thats the best present you can give him, because a memory like that is priceless. Hope I helped and good luck

One Sugestion

[greysky]

Call me old fashioned, but even though I am a geek, I don't really want or expect geeky gifts for valentine's day. That's what Christmas and birthdays are for. Is it just me or are gifts for this occasion suposed to be romantic in nature and not practical? That said, $100 would probably cover the tab for a nice romantic dinner out at a nice restraunt. Or, if he's geeky enough to still live in his parents' basement, you could always rent a hotel room...

A sincere smile, an embrace ...

[JMZorko]

... are the things that meant the most to me. Spend some time with him, go somewhere really cool, have an incredibly wonderful and intimate conversation, witness a beautiful sunset, stay up all night and contemplate the stars, the planet, and the joy of being with one another. Sing him a song if you're inclined!

These all last much longer, and go much deeper, than any consumable, in my opinion.

Regards,

John

Re:Computer Parts

[fafaforza]

Yeah. Nothing will be more fun for him than trying to take back the CPU that doesn't fit his motherboard, or the ram he has no use for since his slots are already filled, or the 20GB ATA66 5400RPM hard drive.

My advice: let him pick the parts himself.

Something special

[reignbow]

Well, so far everybody has suggested some kind of sexual favour... but either it's happened already or you have reasons why not. Oh well. Here are ideas you can actually tell him about in front of your parents:

• take him to the luxus sauna for a day. Complete relaxation, total comfort. Gets you off at 60$
• Get him a nice piece of decoration he can use to brighten his computer/workplace/shrine with. Good modern art, some kind of astronomy picture, something to focus his eyes on when he needs to calm down after some bughunting
• Any book he always wanted but could never afford? Get it and a few tidbits from the left-over money.
• Invite him to dinner to a nice restaurant. Something classy, but not necessarily posh. Good food is a must.
• Organize a surprise network party for him
• Music or a game he likes.
• I think you get the drift. Do
• not give him a bulk network card, no matter how useful it would be, because, while it would make him happy, it would also lack the certain something. What's important is something that makes the gift seem thoughtful, so either good presentation or a truly original idea are necessary. Hope I could help :)

Re:Something special

[sylvester]

You know what?

Go look at the slashdot hall of fame. It's a long shot, and it depends on the guy, but get him something political. A tiger, or an acre of rain forest, or whatever. Or a donation to the EFF, or Debian, or Gentoo, or Fedora, or Blender or Wikipedia or Mandrake or any of hundreds of worthy projects that he probably takes advantage of on a daily basis.

Geeks have money, and they buy exactly the toys they want when they want. You can't win buying him a gadget.

Gift banking

[s20451]

Yeah, I read that too late. But they can do what my gf and I do -- gift banking. She likes jewelry, but the kind she likes costs roughly twice my typical gift budget. Rather than getting her crap that she wouldn't like, we agreed to "bank" the gifts and combine them later. It helps if you also buy small, fun, inexpensive gifts when the larger gift is deferred.

Victoria Secrets

[rossz]

Something that you wear. Trust me, this would be better than any gadget you could possibly purchase.

Asking on Slashdot

[GrouchoMarx]

It's Valentine's day. Save the hardware and gadgetry for his birthday, Christmas, etc. Valentine's day, for one day, you can be sentimental, even to a techie. The geekiest you'd want to go would be, like, "his and hers" memory cards or something. :-) Something you've made yourself, even if it is tech-related, is best.

Of course, you could just let him see this thread. A girlfriend who likes her geek beau enough that she'll ask the nexus of geekdom how to best make a geek happy? Just the knowledge that a girl cares that much and knows him that well is a major gift in itself. Maybe frame the thread or something. :-)

• Widget from ThinkGeek: $30
• New iPod: $300
• New gaming rig: $3000
• A girlfriend willing to say "I love my geek and want to show it" on Slashdot: Priceless

Re:one suggestion

[dszd0g]

Hey, some of us are geeks and proud of it. I have no problem with someone calling me a geek when it isn't done in an insulting manner. Even then I often take it as a compliment.

This is a good thread. My gf has a hard time shopping for me sometimes. I maintain a list of DVDs I want, and she often snags something off that list. A lot of geeks maintain a wish list somewhere. Other times, it is just something I've mentioned I've wanted.

Although, one time I had been mentioning wanting an umbrella for a while, but hadn't gotten my butt to go shopping for one. So she hands me this blue-purple umbrella. For some reason, women seem to think purple works for guys. I had to be careful not to offend her, but I ended up going to the store and returning it for a nicer black one.

I do have some male friends that like purple, but most of them are gay. The general advice about shopping for men, still applies to most geeks.

The difference for geeks is they like cool toys and often care a lot about quality. If you get something that normally comes in a cheap plastic, but they make a nice shiny metal one. Most people might not care, but a lot of geeks will like the nice shiny metal one. I wish I had an example, but I hope I got the idea accross.

Best gift: take some of his worries away

[Marvill]

Speaking as a geek in a long term relationship (defininition: over a year, no rings yet though), Valentine's Day is one of the most difficult holidays to deal with. I had intense social anxiety in high school, but even now, years and years later, there are still some things that trigger it for me. Number one is my fear of getting lost--if I have to go to a new place (say, a restaurant) and worse, I have to get there by a certain time (say, a reservation), I'll worry about it for days unless I take a drive during my free time before the event to memorize all the markers and distances. Number two is crowded places with no places to walk around (I usually solve this one with frequent trips to the bathroom or bar.) At Valentine's Day, though, every restaurant is going to be absolutely packed, and there will be no space at the bar.

I'm not saying your geek has any of these problems, but chances are, he's still feeling the stress of his first V-day in a relatively new relationship. The absolute perfect gift for me would be for my girlfriend to show up at my place on February 13th, tell me she had cancelled my reservations, and drive me to dinner. (Regardless of who pays.) It would show that she understands my problems. (And she does--she's been a huge help getting this far, and it was her suggestion that we take Friday off and spend the weekend with my recently divorced mother.)

As for presents though, every guy honestly really just wants the same thing--a great night in bed with no distractions. Pay any roommates to be conviently not there if necessary. If you want to get him something physical though (ah-ha), consider a framed picture of the two of you for his desk at work. Guys like pictures. Honestly. We're just too lazy to get a nice print, frame, etc etc.

This works nicely because guys NEVER ask other guys what they got for Valentine's Day. The only people who ask are women, and women will appreciate you for the thoughtful gesture and will respect him for having such a wonderful girlfriend.

Leatherman + packaging

[morzel]

Give him a leatherman tool (provided he doesn't already have one)... A lot of choice in your budget range: for $100 you can get a nice one.

For the 'crafty' 'unique' bit, you may want to consider some special kind of packaging that is challenging to actually open... My little brother always gets the same gift for his birthday (money), but he never got a gift from me that didn't take at least 15 minutes get fully open.
One possible example: present him his gift in a box closed with a couple of padlocks, and make him earn the keys with some fun assignments (up to you to think of those).

WRT all the 'sex' postings: sex is not a 'gift' or something you should 'give'. On valentine, you should most importantly make time for each other and enjoy being together in whatever way you spend the day/evening.

Something classy

[ShawnDoc]

One of the biggest problems geeks have is that they have no sense of class or taste. If it doesn't have a million blinking blue leds on it, they don't buy it.

So buy him something nice and classy. For $100 you can buy him a nice analog watch or maybe a nice shirt or two.

He may not appreciate it at first, but this way when you drag him along to a social function or he has to work with someone other than a fellow geek he'l have something to wear that actually looks good and he'll be able to fit in. After he gets a few compliments on his watch or clothes he'll want to wear them every time he goes out.

I'm kind of a geek, and here's what I'd want..

[dougthonus]

First, most of the geeky ideas are right out. Yes a USB keychain flash drive, or mp3 player or something would be very cool. The problem is when it comes to computer devices or things like that, I'd probably so much rather pick it out unless you really knew what you were doing and did a great job of feeling me out on exactly what i wanted. If you did that, then it'd no longer be a suprise and probably wouldn't work well.

Secondly, the ideas about sex and whatever are all great. However, these sound like ideas from people currently not getting sex. If you're sleeping with your boyfriend already, then sleeping with him some more on valentine's day is probably something that will happen anyway and isn't a great gift. If you wanted to turn sex into a gift, then I think you'd better be doing something that's more fantasy based or something unusual (a trip to VS or a night at the sybaris (or one of those sex hotels if they don't have the sybaris by you).

As for just spending the day together, while that is beautiful and I really want to spend the day with my wife on valentine's day, it's something that's going to be done anyway, and you'd probably feel pretty silly saying my gift to you is spending time with you. (I can't think of many things that would sound more conceited). Since basically, he could reply the same way.

So with those things in mind, here's a few ideas:

1) Take an interest in something he loves that you normally have no interest in. It depends on what kind of things you normally do together, but if you hate action movies renting one of his favorites, or watching star wars even if you hate it, or playing some multi-player games you don't like are all great ideas.

2) Get tickets to an event. This is even better when combined with item #1. If you hate sports and he loves them, he'll really appreciate tickets to a basketball, baseball, or hockey game. Tickets to a comedy show, or some other show (as long as it's something he'd like, and not something you'd like, but he'd hate) would also be great.

3) Agree not to make valentine's day a big deal. He's probably stressing out about what to get you for valentine's day, because he wants to do something special for you, but it's hard to feel special buying the same stuff everyone else is (you are obviously feeling somewhat of the same challenge). That being the case, agree to not buy each other gifts, but instead mutually plan an evening together. Go out to see a show, get some nice dinner, maybe plan some bedroom sports for afterwards that are a little spicier than normal (if you are doing that kind of thing that is).

Anyway, just some thoughts!

Re:Geek with a girlfriend?

[jrockway]

He's right. Having a girlfriend is enough for me; I don't need any presents! Love is the best present anyone can give or receive (that and 8 processor Opteron workstations, for the receiver anyway)

no cost, no sex involved

[ScottSpeaks!]

Ask him to (select one, as appropriate to your particular geek and your own curiosity)

• show you how to install Linux
• explain the dis/advantages among IDE, SCSI, and SATA hard drive technologies
• teach you the basics of relativity or quantum theory
• help you make a web page about something you're both into
• explain what the controversy is over copyright, p2p, open source, patents, etc.
• etc.

The point being A) to show him that you're interested (to some degree) in whatever geeky stuff he's thrives on (which assumes that you are, of course), and B) to give him a chance to feel good showing off what he knows (which assumes he does). One of the many fond memories I have of the time with my late boyfriend was the evening we spent years ago, drinking a bottle of wine while I explained everything he'd ever wanted to know (and probably a little more) about the intermingled history of DOS/Windows and the Intel CPU line, and the sun went down. Sure, it was probably a ploy to get me drunk and horny, but he learned a bit, I got my ego stoked, and he ended up spending the night.

Re:Blow job

[MrWa]

Yay, we found one job that will definitely cost more if outsourced.

Actually, they cost a lot LESS if you get them in a foreign country.

Together

[cervo]

Well valentines day is not about material gifts, it's about celebrating love and each other. If you two aren't at the "love" stage yet then focus on each other. You mention you have been dating your "geek" for three months so you must have some insights into his character. Think of something that he as well as you would enjoy to do for valentines day, and then do that.

I've noticed many different answers ranging from sex to thinkgeek to romantic dinners, and that is because each "geek" is different. If you go to slashdot and ask a question like this, you'll get diverse answers from the diverse user base. The truth of the matter is that you know him better than anyone, you have all of the customized knowledge of your "geek" who is really just a normal person like everyone else. There is no greater expert than you except maybe for his family members.

But keep in mind Valentines day is not like a Birthday or even Christmas, it isn't about getting or giving gifts. As I stated above it is about love and celebrating it. Really the day is not about him or you, it's about the two of you. Getting him a gadget or something may be okay for Christmas or his Birthday because A) it is HIS Birthday so the day is about him and B) Christmas is about exchanging gifts....but Valentines day is about the two of you.

Some of the standard type ideas to get you in the right frame of mind:

• Day at couples spa
• Romantic Bed and Breakfast (if you're gonna do sex make it special
• candlelight dinner
• Go see a movie you both would like
• Romantic night time walk together if he is into that thing
• Quiet evening at home working on some geeky project you both would enjoy together [Well you posted to slashdot so he is probably not the only geek in the relationship....]

Some ideas are lame, some are good, but all of them involve not just him and not just you, but the two of you.

Well you get the idea, I don't want to give away any specifics lest certain other people read this and are not surprised.....But don't underestimate the gift of your company. It goes without saying that you should try to spend all the time with him on Valentines day that you can. If you could take the day off from work and so could he (or school or whatever) and spend it together, that in itself would be a great gift.

Re:Blow job

[rixstep]

Don't agree. A good BJ is not a distraction; a non-geek woman hanging about and wanting your attention all the time when you are trying to do SERIOUS WORK - that's a distraction.

But some women don't understand and some women do - and the ones that do, those are the ones we stick with.

If you want to make sure you get that BJ for Valentine's Day - buy her velour knee pads.

Second that.

[weston]

A few years ago I was student teaching (for those who've never done it, that's a pretty big time of stress, because you're essentially learning the ropes of a more-than-full-time job while not getting paid a thing and, in fact, having to pay tuition. So combine no income and no time and going back to high school. Fabulous). When my birthday came around, my girlfriend came and picked me up as soon as classes were out, pulled me away from the stuff I probably would have been doing, and we just went walking in the hills for a few hours, and then to dinner. I did have to be back at parent teacher conferences that night, but those few hours were remarkably refreshing. Just time. It's a great gift.

Re:This is why I dislike humanity

[stevesliva]

Patience required?

I'm somewhat of the opinion that women just take awhile to come to their senses, and the geek men just don't change at all. Women spend all those years going out "to have fun" and dance and "spend time with friends" and the all of a sudden one day that biological starts ticking louder and louder, and suddenly the hilarious well-coordinated pub-crawling metrosexuals just don't seem like the guys they're looking for anymore.

Obviously don't take this post too seriously.

Geeks are NOT sad losers

[omnix]

Who the fsck are you to determine whether someone is a loser? I'm a self-professed geek, and in this day, that's like saying I'm a renaissance man. Being a geek is a philosophy which extends beyond computers, into all things logical and illogical. I see my problem solving (ie - programming) skills as being a form of art. I feel complete and satisfied when I have `finished` a program/module that I know is exactly the way I want it.

Aside from programming (and computers in general), I enjoy other forms of art including photography and sketching. I've been married for 15 years, and I'm a father. I enjoy riding my Triumph Trophy 1200 motorcycle, and training my dog to do agility. But even when I'm doing all of those things, my mind is still racing with hundreds of ideas for the project d'jeur.

I don't know what your definition of `geek` is, but most of the people I know, who call themselves one, use my definition. Not the one in Websters, and they don't feel like it's a limitation either.

One more important point, I would like to direct your attention to, is that you are enjoying the benefits of the geeks. Many of us designed the computers, along with many other things, and wrote the code to contol them. Obviously you don't scoff at the use of these items, and we've made our money doing it.

So again I ask, who are you to determine that being a geek qualifies us as losers. I see you as the loozer, since you don't have the sack or brains to do it yourself.

Recipe for a perfect Valentine's Day

[dmayle]

It's pretty simple... V-Day is on a Saturday, which means no work (hopefully), so it's perfect.

Arrange ahead of time to take the first half of the day for V-Day, and let him have the second half. Take him to the nearest arcade, with $40-50 worth of quarters, or go-kart racing, follow it up with lunch at something cheap but not fast food (maybe Bennigan's or Chili's), then to a movie he wants to see (maybe The Butterfly Effect, or Cold Mountain, but you know better), and have popcorn and icees/slushies or that 128oz. monster size soda.

Next, let him take over, hopefully he'll have something planned for you (remember you arranged ahead of time, so that's a good reminder for him).

When you get back, he'll have had an incredible day, hopefully you'll have had an incredible night, finish it off by taking him home (your place or his), for some intimate time. Do something with him that you've never done before, whether that be letting him get to second base, or your first time having sex in the shower (or the kitchen table, washing machine, etc. ;) )

As for me? My gf and I are currently seperated by that little pond we call the Atlantic Ocean, so I'm having flowers delivered to her, as well as a DVD player (she doesn't have one yet), and the complete Family Guy collection (I know my girl). I'm going to pick up some candles, break out the webcam, and we're going to have a candlelit dinner some 2000 miles apart...