California Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms

Ronin writes "The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.' One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud." Probably cause people are too embarrased to say they've tried it."

Comments

Re:Denver or California?

[ziggy_zero]

Guy is in California, lawyer is in New York, suit filed in Denver, companies are in Cyprus and British Columbia. Yeah, it's a little confusing.

I can't remember where I read this, but...

[BW_Nuprin]

...from what I've read, a woman's vagina only has sensitivity in the first 3.75 inches, so big wang dang doodles don't really make a difference. However, if your cirumference is less than 3.75", you're measuring in at less than the necessary width to apply pressure to the walls of the vagina, and you might as well just stick it in the mud, 'cause its not going to do any good. So, really, wangular width is whats important.

Interesting previous article on DM Contact Mgt

[Saint Aardvark]

DM Contact Management, mentioned in the article as one of the targets of the lawsuit, was also mentioned in this article from November about a guy getting arrested for sending threatening letters to spammers.

Advanced Botanicals Inc's contact page can be found here. They're listed on this page as having different products refused entry to the US for false labelling.

Re:Penis enlargement blog

[GonzoDave]

Seems to be a marketing ploy. I notice he helpfully links to the site selling the pills he used

Depends...

[Goonie]

If by average you are talking about the artihmetic mean, if the distribution is skewed it's quite possible to have 80% of people having a below-average size. Consider a group of 10 men, 8 of whom measure 13 cm, and 2 who measure 20. Voila, 80% of our group have a smaller-than-average member. By contrast, it would be logically impossible for 80% of men to have a penis smaller than the median.

In practice, many, many natural statistics are normally distributed, and it would be a reasonable guess that penis length is. Therefore, the mean and the median will be the same.

Re:Well good for him

[triclipse]

Yes, IAAL :)

Is it possible for me to form and sue on behalf of a class, and name another class as the defendant?
No, you cannot name a "class" as defendants, no such animal. However, you can name a very large number of defendants (though they will not called a "class" no matter how many you name).

Although the rules for class actions differ from state to state, and from state to federal, I am quite certain that no jurisdiction entertain the possibility of a "class" of defendants.

I would like to sue on behalf of everyone who has received a penis-enlargement spam and did not respond to it.

When I get the time, I am seriously going to start a spamlaw practice, but until then I must refer you to federal law ("Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003") and California law - "Restrictions On Unsolicited Commercial E-mail Advertisers" - Business and Professions Code 17529 et. seq..

California consumers have the right to sue spammers directly and get their attorneys fees paid! See B&P code 17529.8(a)(1):
"In addition to any other remedies provided by this article or by any other provisions of law, a recipient of an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement transmitted in violation of this article, an electronic mail service provider, or the Attorney General may bring an action against an entity that violates any provision of this article to recover either or both of the following:
(A) Actual damages.
(B) Liquidated damages of one thousand dollars ($1,000) for each unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement transmitted in violation of Section 17529.2, up to one million dollars ($1,000,000) per incident.
(2) The recipient, an electronic mail service provider, or the Attorney General, if the prevailing plaintiff, may also recover reasonable attorney's fees and costs."

I would seek damages against the class of individuals who received this spam and did respond to it.

You will have to read the statute to see if it will fit, but if I were to assign this a Fark tag, it would be "Unlikely."

Happy suing!

Penis 'Enlargement' Pills Pack Impurities

[TPFH]

Quite a while ago I posted a comment to a spam article about trusting to buy from spammers, asking "Who would put in their mouth and swallow something from a spammer."

Well, it's old news (Haven't seen an opportunity to post this since then) but I was more correct in asking this than I had imagined.

Well, it turns out some folks at the Wall Street Journal did a laboratory study of these pills, and "analysis of a composite sample of 10 Performance Marketing pills and turned up significant levels of E. coli, yeast, mold, lead and pesticide residues."

So among other nasties, there is a significant amount of fecal matter in these pills.

I'm actually suprised this isn't bigger news.
Maybe we should all put it in our signature files until the spammers go away: "Penis Pills have Poop in them!"

Maybe some idiot that is stupid enough to buy from a spammer will die of E. coli and get a Darwin Award. Those sure get forwarded around a lot. Even my mom forwarded me the nominations for the 2003 Darwin Awards. (Which suprised me.)

Maybe I should submit it for a Front Page story, but it was originally reported on August 13, 2003.