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California Man Sues Penis-Enlargment Firms
Ronin writes "The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.' One of the highlights of the article is when the man says "I was wondering for a long time why no one has gotten around to suing these penis-enlargement guys, because it seems like a pretty blatant ... fraud." Probably cause people are too embarrased to say they've tried it."
These things prey on people's desperation and feelings of inadequacy. I mean really, even a tiny dude can score if his head game is good.
Perhaps this will convince those spammers, that not everybody is stupid enough to buy their snake-oil. If they keep losing money from lawsuits, maybe they'll just crawl back in their holes and rot.
Hey! come on! try dividing it by anything!
...at first I read that as "Denver Man Sues Penis-Enlargement Farms".
FLR
A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work.
And the judge replied: "Duh, fucknut. Get out of my courtroom."
----
"Ours was a free culture. It is becoming much less so."-Lawrence Lessig
If your penis doesn't enlarge when you rub cream on it, maybe you're buying the wrong product.
If his lawsuit is successful and these penis-enlargement companies get put out of business, my inbox should become considerably less cluttered.
I am Sartre of the Borg. Existence is futile.
Takes some balls to do that..
;)
Gonna be a hard case to win mind
(That took far too much effort.. Must touch up on my wang referencing skills)
fortune -o
I'm amazed that they got a million people to sign onto the class action suit. Essentially that means 1,000,000 men are willing to stand up and say "hi, I have an abnormally small penis AND I was stupid enough to respond to spam".
1) advertise for sexual products of the kinky kind ...
2) charge $3 for the product
3) never deliver
4) when customer complains, mail a check for $3 with bold letters saying "RETURN FOR HUGE ANAL DILDO"
5) customer never has the courage to cash the check
6)
7) Profit !!
Who is this Karma guy and why is he bad ??
The DenverPost reports that 'A California man on Thursday sued a slew of international companies, including a Greeley distributor, alleging the penis-enlargement products they market and distribute do not work
...
I hope he doesn't plan on paying his lawyers with the money he's waiting for from his business associate and dear friend, Dr. Adelawe Johnson in Lago, Nigeria
"A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of" - Ogden Nash
It may be hard to track down the spammers advertising it (and prove a link between them and the retailer) but it is hell-of-easy tracking down the retailer when they accept payments on Visa/Mastercard.
Guy is in California, lawyer is in New York, suit filed in Denver, companies are in Cyprus and British Columbia. Yeah, it's a little confusing.
I belong to the ______ generation.
We call Colorado "New California."
Didn't you get the memo?
Constitutional rights may be respected, repealed, or modified; but they must never be ignored.
Up next. Woman sues penish enlargment pill seller for making her boyfriend's penis too large. Their response, "Why should my client be responsible if her eyes are bigger than her ..."
Fight Spammers!
LOL! i guess he got to know that empirically. kinda embarrasing going to court with the evidence, don't you think?? :P
...from what I've read, a woman's vagina only has sensitivity in the first 3.75 inches, so big wang dang doodles don't really make a difference. However, if your cirumference is less than 3.75", you're measuring in at less than the necessary width to apply pressure to the walls of the vagina, and you might as well just stick it in the mud, 'cause its not going to do any good. So, really, wangular width is whats important.
1. Get the spamming community to use linux.
2. SCO sues spammers on copyright charges, drains spammers of funds.
3. Spammers destroy SCO's site permantly.
Steve
> Become 10 times the man you are,
> increase your length by two inches!
Let's see, two divided by ten ... hey, I'm feeling offended!
If he can be in both Denver and California at the same time.
R3AL V@GINAL SHRINKING CREAM!
Men! Do your wives complain that your manhood just doesn't measure up? Slip your woman some VSC and in two to three weeks your woman will be wondering what she was complaining about!
SIZE DOES MATTER!
beowulf289028344street12
A winner is you!
I've found it works pretty well for me. (Proof available on request.)
I came home and found an e-mail message offering to sell me something that would do the same thing.
An oldie, but goody:
After a long makeout session, a man and his girlfriend are about to have sex for the first time. Dude starts undressing, shoes and socks come off first, and the girl asks: "What happened to your feet? They're all messed up!"
Guy says, "As a kid, I had tolio".
She shrugs it off, but when the pants come off, well, there's something odd there, too. The guy notices the look on her face, and says, "As a kid, I had the kneesles".
The rest of the clothes come off. When the girl sees his package, she gets exasperated and says, "Let me guess, smallcocks, right?"
Advanced Botanicals Inc's contact page can be found here. They're listed on this page as having different products refused entry to the US for false labelling.
Carousel is a lie!
a guy and his newlywed wife are on their honeymoon, getting ready to have sex for the first time.
before getting any further, the guy warns his wife: "i just want to let you know, i'm like a baby down there."
the wife responds: "it's okay. i love you no matter what."
the man then takes off his clothes and the wife falls off the bed and exclaims: "i thought you said you were like a baby down there!"
he responds: "i am. it's 12" long and weighs 9 pounds."
Well DUH, they're lesbians!
Ron Paul 2012
Maybe Slashdot editors are in need of some headline enlargment or something.
Seems to be a marketing ploy. I notice he helpfully links to the site selling the pills he used
Judging by past class action suits, about $10.00 per member of the class. And a few million each for the lawyers.
So every woman in Denver will know that this guy has a small cock, AND no money!
Why is he doing this, again?
In practice, many, many natural statistics are normally distributed, and it would be a reasonable guess that penis length is. Therefore, the mean and the median will be the same.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo
--Andy Finkel (J. Klass?)
His enlargement worked so well, he is in Denver AND California at the same time. :-)
It's how you use it...
To which the ladies reply, "Yeah, right."
We apologise for the fault in this post. Those responsible have been sacked. -- Signed RICHARD M. NIXON
Hope this helps.
Your pizza just the way you ought to have it.
Is it possible for me to form and sue on behalf of a class, and name another class as the defendant?
No, you cannot name a "class" as defendants, no such animal. However, you can name a very large number of defendants (though they will not called a "class" no matter how many you name).
Although the rules for class actions differ from state to state, and from state to federal, I am quite certain that no jurisdiction entertain the possibility of a "class" of defendants.
I would like to sue on behalf of everyone who has received a penis-enlargement spam and did not respond to it.
When I get the time, I am seriously going to start a spamlaw practice, but until then I must refer you to federal law ("Controlling the Assault of Non-Solicited Pornography and Marketing Act of 2003") and California law - "Restrictions On Unsolicited Commercial E-mail Advertisers" - Business and Professions Code 17529 et. seq..
California consumers have the right to sue spammers directly and get their attorneys fees paid! See B&P code 17529.8(a)(1):
"In addition to any other remedies provided by this article or by any other provisions of law, a recipient of an unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement transmitted in violation of this article, an electronic mail service provider, or the Attorney General may bring an action against an entity that violates any provision of this article to recover either or both of the following:
(A) Actual damages.
(B) Liquidated damages of one thousand dollars ($1,000) for each unsolicited commercial e-mail advertisement transmitted in violation of Section 17529.2, up to one million dollars ($1,000,000) per incident.
(2) The recipient, an electronic mail service provider, or the Attorney General, if the prevailing plaintiff, may also recover reasonable attorney's fees and costs."
I would seek damages against the class of individuals who received this spam and did respond to it.
You will have to read the statute to see if it will fit, but if I were to assign this a Fark tag, it would be "Unlikely."
Happy suing!
No Inflation Taxation without Representation
Back in my day when you had a small penis, you bought a Corvette, or collected big rifles and pistols
... and the less said about the endowment of those who drive Hummers, the better ...
Nowadays, some folks fearful of modern snake oils content themselves with their SUVs de jour
The Future of Human Evolution: Autonomy
Quite a while ago I posted a comment to a spam article about trusting to buy from spammers, asking "Who would put in their mouth and swallow something from a spammer."
Well, it's old news (Haven't seen an opportunity to post this since then) but I was more correct in asking this than I had imagined.
Well, it turns out some folks at the Wall Street Journal did a laboratory study of these pills, and "analysis of a composite sample of 10 Performance Marketing pills and turned up significant levels of E. coli, yeast, mold, lead and pesticide residues."
So among other nasties, there is a significant amount of fecal matter in these pills.
I'm actually suprised this isn't bigger news.
Maybe we should all put it in our signature files until the spammers go away: "Penis Pills have Poop in them!"
Maybe some idiot that is stupid enough to buy from a spammer will die of E. coli and get a Darwin Award. Those sure get forwarded around a lot. Even my mom forwarded me the nominations for the 2003 Darwin Awards. (Which suprised me.)
Maybe I should submit it for a Front Page story, but it was originally reported on August 13, 2003.
This signature used to contain a cute kitty virus with ansii art. Please set the slashdot editors on fire. Thank you
Someone standing up for the little guy....
I am not sure about the products advertised in the spam. But, reading through all the different forums on the internet, it seems clear that something is successfully turning men into dicks and women into boobs.
corruptino
Man, they discover new particles every day. Does it cause cancer?
Ever since moving to Colorado from California nine years ago, my wife and I have gotten into the habit of telling people we are "from" where we were born. In my case, that means Ohio and, in her case, it means Minneapolis. We only admit we moved to Colorado from California under intense interrogation.
Besides "liberal" tax and spend attitudes, most Califorians don't have the slightest idea of how to drive in ice and snow. This seems to be as much a part of Coloradans taking a dislike to Californians as anything. Thus, saying we are "from" the midwest seems to disarm some of the hostility we might otherwise encounter.
They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither safety nor liberty.
Ben
According to this reliable site no penis enlargement system works but theirs.
They wouldn't lie, would they ? After all, it's written on the web, so it must be true.
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