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Gene Therapy Creates Strong Super-Rats
srstoneb writes "The AP is reporting about a
gene therapy study in which muscle tissue in rats is modified to grow at an accelerated rate. The researchers are mainly interested in combating muscular dystrophy, but obviously there are other potential applications, both good and bad, for a treatment which makes you stronger. Athletic ethics are addressed in the article (it's in the sports section, after all), and rec.arts.comics.marvel.universe regular Tom Galloway -- who posted the link there, where I saw it -- made a comparison to the 'super-soldier serum' that created Captain America. Based on the article, a vaguely Wolverine-like healing factor is another benefit as the therapy allows faster recovery from injury. We already had a non-powered superhero
reported last year. Who knows what the future may hold? ^_^" (And that's not the only natural-born superhero.)
Rats with "vaguely Wolverine-like healing factor".
Wonderful.
I can see the pest control guys kitting up with miniguns and RPGs.
In the free world the media isn't government run; the government is media run.
I for one welcome our new mutant rat overlords.
G4 Hackintosh
Good news for 'pro' wrestlers then!
Progis Riport 1.
Algernon kickd me in th nuts! It is sawr.
I'm sorry, I'll post something useful eventually!
Superrat "Mitee Mus" runs for governor of the Democratic Republic of California, winning 63% of the votes. Standing 7'3" tall, weighing 120kg and gifted with an IQ of 192, Mitee Mus told reporters "Now I can get to the real business of building nice warm nests for every Californian". He is married to the cousin of a Kennedy.
Ceci n'est pas une signature
This is the only way we'll be able to compete in hand to hand combat with the robots that we'll assuredly create and be forced to fight against in the near future.
Who'd win? Super Rat, or this? ;)
You mean the usenet is still used for things besides spam, porn, and warez??? I can't believe it.
Enough said
You should never take life too seriously - You'll never get out of it alive.
Great, we have the rat... now we just need some turtles.
Live Easy And Read News To Ossify Slowly, People. Eliza Lives and Learns. Retsearch, indeed...
Money for nothing, pix for free
makes you stronger. strength crushes enemies. gene therapy! gene therapy! gene therapy!
Rodents of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist.
Good God, you're right! This proves beyond a doubt that Star Trek is an accurate portrayal of the future, and not just a mere work of fiction.
If I seem short sighted, it is because I stand on the shoulders of midgets
" ... Eugenics war ... "
That is the least of our worries!!! PRAY that your grandchildren will NOT have a neat little inscription behind their right ear that reads.
"DNA Encoded by Microsoft (c)."
Only to idiots, are orders laws.
-- Henning von Tresckow
I will assmeble the ultimate real-life superhero team to Save the Universe! It will be called the Ultimate Super Hero International Team! The roster is carefully chosen to represent the most gifted and talented real-life adventurers from across the globe!
On it will be the daring leader and Weapons Expert, Angle Grinder Man! (Linked to above.) Also...
Aerospace Expert: Lawn Chair Larry!
Science and Technology Expert: Troy Hurtubise, inventor of the famous Bear Proof Suit! (Tested by real bikers! And bears! It's bear and biker proof!)
Matter Eating Expert: Sonya Thomas, the Black Widow!
Sneaking Across the Country Naked Expert: Steven Gough!
With these mighty heroes, the Ultimate Super Hero International Team, the Universe shall be Saved!
SoupIsGood Food
The Super-Server man is here! I've already beefed up the server's backbone and hardware, so the site should not suffer from any problems.
Don't thank me, it's all in a days work.
Posted anonymously to retain my secret identity.
We've got a race of super-rats living in the back alley. They're about 3-feet long, and heckle us with merciless honesty about our most sensitive insecurities...
-------------------------------------------
I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
-- Dr. Seuss
Darl McBride is a Russian boxer?
I have something in common with Stephen Hawking...
at least they'll have blue eyes then.. or at least occasionally..
No one can understand the truth until he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness.
--Sheikh Abd-Al-Kadir, 1587
No, because it has no muscles, but I'm sure that won't put off the spammers.
When I am king, you will be first against the wall.
A traveling salesman stops by a farm and in the process of trying to sell his wares becomes aware of something strange out in the yard. It's a tiny newborn chick - with eight legs.
The farmer notices him staring and decides to explain. The idea is that when people buy a chicken, everyone wants a leg but since there are only two legs someone always misses out. So, what the farmer has done is to breed chickens with more legs.
The salesman leaves shaking his head and doesn't think any more about it, until two years later he's in the same area and decides to go back to the farm. When he gets there he sees the farm is in disrepair, overrun with eight-legged chickens and the farmer looks starved and poor.
"What's happened?" asks the salesman. "The last time I was here you looked like you were onto a good thing breeding eight-legged chickens."
"Ah," replies the farmer, "the breeding program was a great success. The problem is we can't catch them!"
If you can't think of something nice to say then don't say anything at all. No, REALLY.
Erm - sorry, but I believe that link refers to the infamous Monkey Man of Tunbridge Wells.
:-)
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No, it's a prank from B3ta.
Those rats do run things. they are manipulating us to make them stronger so then can take over.
Dennis Miller: In response to what its sponsors claim is an idea whose time has come, the first All-Drug Olympics opened today in Bogota, Columbia. Athletes are allowed to take any substance whatsoever before, after, and even during the competition. So far, 115 world records have been shattered! We go now to correspondent Kevin Nealon, live in Bogota for the Weightlifting Finals. Kevin?
Kevin Nealon: Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken antibolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is getting set now, he's going for a cleaning jerk of over 1500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes.
[ Kevin steps aside to reveal the steroid-bulked athlete bent over to lift the 1500 lbs. weight. Sergei tightens his grip on the barbells and pulls up, but instead of lifting the weights, his arms are pulled off and blood squirts ferociously out of his pulpy stubs. ]
Kevin Nealon: Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off, that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian! [ Sergei's trainer wraps a towel around him ] You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn't have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he's really gonna feel that, Dennis! Back to you!
Dennis Miller: Thank you, Kevin. Very nice form on the Russian. Canada, of course, is leading that competition.
credit
"Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus Rex."
'What do we do tonight, Brain?'
'That's Magneto, damn you! And we do the same thing we do ever night, Pinky.. try to take over the world with our rodent superpowers! And how many times do I have to tell you? Stop licking off that blue body paint!'
I instantly pictured a room full of lab rats directly wired into various X-Box and PS2 consoles, honing their FPS/fragging skills, and getting ready to take over the world. But then I remembered that Super-Strong Rats, or SSRs, are intelligent and friendly, just like in "The Secret of NIMH".
So I am no longer worried about our new SSR overlords.
CHeers!
"The only good windmill is a tilted windmill."
Wonder which "muscle" they'll claim to enlarge as a side effect.