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Microsoft Warning Leaked Code Traders
An anonymous reader writes "Broadand Reports notes that Microsoft is now sending snail mail warnings to downloaders of the leaked source code. They're also apparently working in conjunction with several un-named peer to peer vendors to send out legal warnings to any users who search for the leaked code. The notice on Microsoft's website has been updated to reflect the new warnings."
Once its leaked on the Internet, you can't take it back. People WILL take a peek at it. If Microsoft really needs to be convinced, they should talk to Pam and Tommy :)
Dear Sir, Please, please, please don't look for more exploits in our code! We've got enough already to keep us busy for the next decade or so. Signed, Your pals at Microsoft.
Probably a package that weighs 5 pounds, doesn't open right, has about 2 sentences of actual use, and then crubmles while being read.
I don't try to be right, I just try to make people think
They're also apparently working in conjunction with several un-named peer to peer vendors to send out legal warnings to any users who search for the leaked code.
Oh my God, that's great.
Anyone want to suddenly start hopping on kazaa and posting spoofed search requests for "leaked windows 2000 code" which appear to be coming from the IP addresses of the White House, the Dennis Hastert re-election campaign, various randomly selected people, entire blocks inside of Time-Warner...
It could be like a p2p reverse honeypot.
Once a few thousand people start getting threatening legal notices from MS for something they didn't do, what happens next?
Does this mean that Windows is open source. Is it cool to use Windows yet?
But it was kinda buggy.
- - - If the sun is a star, why can't I see it at night?
I was wondering why when I tried compiling it, it stopped halfway through and I heard Madonna's voice scream, "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"
I also reply below your current threshold.
Dear Peer-to-Peer user,
Please do not download our source code or we will be forced to sue you. We are not kidding, we will sue you. Seriously, we'll sue...
Sincerly,
Bill Gates
Reply
Dear Bill.
Please stop poluting the internet with your crappy source. Every time I search for porn now, I get coppies of some crappy pile of shit called winedows or something. Furthermore, don't even talk to me about frivilous litigation bub. I wrote that book.
Besides, your source leak is stealing my valuable press. How am I supposed to dump my stock if I can't pump it first.
P.S. Thanks for the license fees.
Yours in infamy,
Darl.
I am become Troll, destroyer of threads
I must have found one of these warnings - when I downloaded "Windows_source_code.zip", all it contained was a
"If you think you have things under control, you're not going fast enough." --Mario Andretti
For those of you still looking for the leaked source code here it is:
#include "windows.h"
#include "system_errors.h"
#include "stdlib.h"
#include "msdos_bugs.h"
char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
main()
{
if (detect_OS2())
freeze();
if (detect_cache())
disable_cache();
if (fast_cpu())
set_wait_states(lots);
set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
set_mouse(action, jumpy);
set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
set_icons(UGLY);
print("Welcome to Windoze 3.11111");
if (system_ok())
crash(to_dos_prompt);
else
system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);
while(1) {
sleep(5);
get_user_input();
sleep(5);
act_on_user_input();
sleep(5);
if (rand() < 0.9)
crash(complete_system);
}
return(unrecoverable_system);
}
War isn't about who's right. It's about who's left.
I just don't get it. No security breach. Not related to the SSI, nor GSP. Then how did it leak???? Psychics?
Bite my shiny metal... oops... Nevermind!
A: Why oh why did I register with Insta-Trace?!?
Dear Slashdot: next time you want to mess with the site, add a rich-text editor for comments.
Holy crap, Microsoft can find your physical mailing address if you download their source code...
Does that mean those people I laughed at in high school for circulating that thing about Bill Gates sending you $100 for forwarding this email were RIGHT?!
Damn, now I wish I'd been stupid enough to send that thing on - I could use an extra hundred bucks.
In post-9/11 America, the CIA interrogates YOU!
It had a EULA shrinkwrapped to it that said "Upon opening this letter I am hereby agreeing to..." so I just tossed it in the trash. I guess I'll wait till one of the letters gets leaked online, then I can just download it.
Here you go:
#include <bsod.h>
#include <gigsofdlls.h>
int main (void) {
if ( 1 ) {
BSOD();
}
return 0;
}
Gates: "Interesting Steve... What's this idea?"
Ballmer: "Well, suppose we leaked the 2K and NT4 sources on the Internet."
Gates: "I'm not sure I follow."
Ballmer: "Think about it. We've got stagnating revenue streams from companies who are still using NT4 and 2000. We've got people continually hacking our software. Are you seeing the connection here?"
Gates: "Sure, I get you: release the source code, so hackers can analyze it to find all the holes. We get free QA, and in the meantime, we can pressure our customers to upgrade to XP, because it's not vulnerable to these source code attacks. Thus, getting more money for us, from people who wouldn't have otherwise upgraded. Brilliant!"
Ballmer: "You're catching on. And hey, I just thought of an extra bonus! We can track down people who actually download the source code and sue them. That way, we get another auxiliary revenue stream from court, make ourselves look good by appearing to 'fight hackers,' and strengthen the hostile attitudes held toward open source software by linking them to our stolen source code! Another inch closer to having a lock-hold on the Supreme Court when they finally make the big decisions about the validity of intellectual property!"
Gates: "Why, this could have a favorable impact on the outcome of the SCO case, could it not?"
Ballmer: "Sure. Those stupid Linux fanboys and their 'take over the world' nonsense. They don't understand who they're playing ball with."
The phenomenon is called "quantum jumping". The code jumped from one Quantum harddrive to another.
I can't seem to find the gigsofdlls header file...
I have his picture of Bill G. in my head walking around carrying a sack in the middle of the night going,
"Here kitty kitty.....
get back in this bag you little F---ing Batstard"
Americans could not be more self absorbed if they were made of equal parts water and paper towel. -Dennis Miller
Customers running Windows XP Service Pack 1 or Windows Server 2003 who have installed all of the latest updates are not impacted
The use of the word "impacted" here is classic corpo-Pentagon-speak.
The correct word is "affected." For a person to be "impacted" has an entirely different meaning.
You'd think Microsoft would care about the distinction, since they are so full of shit.
If Vegetarians like aninmals so much, why are they eating all their food?