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Defending Earth From Asteroids With MADMEN
jolomo writes "A partner of Atlanta-based NASA Institute of Advanced Concepts is working on a concept they call MADMEN (Modular Asteroid Deflection Mission Ejector Nodes), which would launch a distributed attack against large Earth-bound objects. Thousands of MADMEN could be built by many nations and when launched, each would land on the object, drill into its surface and remove enough material to change its course."
Obviously a project named after the inventors.
Who read that as Defending the Earth From MADMEN with Asteroids?
So... like... a DDOS against a chunk of rock? ... heh. Imagine a Beo... nevermind.
Why, oh why, do they keep coming up with these silly "destory or deflect the asteroid" schemes? Such "inside the box" thinking.
When is someone going to focus on the important alternative: how about moving Earth out of the way instead?
John.
I can see it now
Russia: We pushed left, why didn't it change course?
USA: Why didn't you check first? we pushed right!
What's the other part? The Mystic Gun Faeries pulling on you?
Dolt.
Only in Atlanta would an idea like, "Shoot it a bunch of times and see if it goes away" would such a solution be born.
Magic Eight Ball: Outlook not so good., Hmmm, how about Excel and Word?
I can see it now: "Yes, we're about to launch a large number of missiles armed with powerful explosives. All nuclear powers please remain calm. This is only a test. No, really, none of these will malfunction and visit death and destruction on somebody we're having a disagreement with. Honest."
I fully support using world leaders as ammunition to deflect asteroids.
I, for one, welcome our new Madmen-flinging overlords.
In fact, a good sized asteriod could clear up a lot of this country's problems in a snap!
Look out congresswhores! Mama needs a new box a' cooties, and she is mad!
Why not use an Illudium Q36 Explosive Space Modulator?
Are you Corn Fed?
Just post a link to the asteroid on /.
That's "Mr. Soulless Automaton" to you, Bub.
Actually you can do a similar experiment in a boat with a gun. If you shoot out the back of the boat enough times, the boat will move slightly forward. Shooting forward will make it move backward a little. If you shoot up in the air, the boat will move downward slightly before springing back from boyancy.
Once strange thing I've never been able to figure out though, is why shooting downward also makes the boat move downward?!
Slashdot Syndrome: the sudden, extreme urge to correct someone in order to validate one's self.
Hey, goddist filth!
The only thing you're supposed to do when a heavenly object is about to obliterate you is to pray. PRAY!
What?
Don't you believe in the tennets of your fairy tales? You're supposed to welcome the end of all the unbelievers with the faith and understanding that only the devout will make it to paradise. You're devout and you will be saved.
Riiiight?
That asteroid is nothing short of the HAND OF THE ALMIGHTY/STARK FIST OF REMOVAL.
You should accept it willingly, lovingingly. Even before it becomes a visible-eye object there should be enough songs and stories about it that the armies of the anointed will leave no dry-earth unshadowed as the seas surge and the sky darkens with its approach.
This whole "playing god" thing will just interfere with the destiny issue.
What happens when humanity does avert a disaster which is supposed to render all human life null-o-void-o?!
Why, would anyone want to interfere with that!?
Virgins for everyone?
Constant bliss that makes orgasm seem like a hangnail?
If anything you'd think humanity would just use a laser to sky-write
"SO LONG AND THANKS FOR THE TEMPTATION" moments before impact.
My guess is, a Sky-writing laser is much less expensive than a bunch of godless toys. Whoops, there goes my common sense again...if there's a buck to be made the more expensive option will be selected.
Stupid meat monkeys, you were put here to suffer, to suffer tempation and vice, shucks, you're all tainted...ahahahah! I've got your original sin RIGHT HERE and I'm wearing a fashionable red bow on it.
Every new form of media has it's own Requirimento
> Does NASA (or any other US gov thing) have a special department that think up cool acronyms?
Yes, of course they do. The Best Retired Alumni Implimenting NASA Symbolism group (BRAINS).
- For the complete works of Shakespeare: cat
MADMEN diverts a disaster by knocking an asteroid off course.
2 years later, Aliens invade because we "attacked" their home planet with an asteroid.
That's a way to initiate first contact!
Honestly, I'd rather be incenerated by an asteroid collision than be dissected by thousands of Alien Hordes angry because we threw rocks at them.
Easy: the hole you just shot in the bottom of the boat allows water in, causing the boat to sink
Dude, when someone tells you to load 300 pounds of rocks into a boat and take it out on the lake he isn't trying to teach you something. He's trying trick you into spending a day moving 300 pounds of rocks and sinking your boat.
I wish posts could be moderated two things. For example, the above post could be both "redundant" AND "unbelievably retarded".
-B
Actually, you can do a similar expirment on a boat with oars. or an outboard motor.
Don't blame me; I'm never given mod points.
I thought that was supposed to go "if you aren't a conservative when you are old, you have no money."
Yeah, you you're standing in the boat, and you throw the outboard motor or the oars out the back as hard as you can... ...then you get out your trusty flare gun and signal for help, because now you're stranded!
=Smidge=