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Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement

Posted by CowboyNeal on from the but-not-the-one-click dept.

theodp writes "Amazon's 10-K SEC filing discloses that the e-tailer has been sued for infringing on Soverain Software patents for Network Sales Systems (5,715,314 & 5,909,492) and Internet Server Access Control and Monitoring Systems (5,708,780), aka the Open Market patents, aka the Divine cashectomy patents, which Soverain obtained in the wake of Divine's bankruptcy sale."

37 of 304 comments (clear)

  1. Luckily... by Doktor+Memory · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...Amazon has aleady patented the use of Irony...on the internet!

    --

    News for Nerds. Stuff that Matters? Like hell.

    1. Re:Luckily... by Xeth · · Score: 5, Funny

      And they'll be serving them up with their patented One-Click Countersuit tool.

      --
      If your theory is different from practice, then your theory is wrong.
    2. Re:Luckily... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      I guess if you live by the patent, you die by the patent...

    3. Re:Luckily... by TedCheshireAcad · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah well I patented the patent. My lawyer's gonna be a busy guy.

  2. Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! by good(k)night · · Score: 2, Funny

    I sue firefox for using fire...
    so they will have to change the name again.

    haha! the world is mine!

    --
    my endian is bigger than yours!
  3. I feel sorry for them... by opusman · · Score: 4, Funny

    Filing patent infringement lawsuits is hard work.

    Someone needs to come up with a "One Click(tm) Patent Infringement Lawsuit" system. And then patent it...

    1. Re:I feel sorry for them... by mat+catastrophe · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fuck, bro. All you need to do is send this post to the patent office. Apparently, they'll stamp damn near anything.

      And remember, I told you this, so cut me in on the cash, alright?

      --
      sig not found
  4. Thank God for all these lawsuits... by Infonaut · · Score: 4, Funny
    Without 'em, after the SCO mess gets cleared up, we'd have no reason to visit Groklaw!

    --
    Read the EFF's Fair Use FAQ
  5. Sue everyone? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    I'm gonna sue McDonalds for making me fat...wait already happened...

    1. Re:Sue everyone? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      I'm gonna sue Einstein for time dilation problems.

  6. Re:Not Another One! by Wiser87 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Hmm... I wonder if anyone's patented the art of Slshdotting a website? ;)

  7. My head's exploding by MacGabhain · · Score: 3, Funny

    I'm rooting FOR Amazon in a patent case? Ow ow ow ow ow. It hurts!

  8. Re:Not Another One! by smr2x · · Score: 5, Funny

    Who would dare take on Slashdot in a lawsuit?! Can you imagine how many geeks would find you, surround your building, and make you suffer!?

    Besides the enormous Slashdotting you would receive in return...

    --
    .
  9. is it really this easy? by Sean+Clifford · · Score: 3, Funny
    IANAL, but is it really this easy?

    [click to type company name] hereby sues [click to type deep pockets] for patent infringement for [click to enter $amount].

    CTRL P

    Choose Fax Printer.

    [click to choose Clerk of Court]

    Roll three dice. If you roll a 4 or less, even the most ridiculous case wins.

    1. Re:is it really this easy? by Galuvian · · Score: 1, Funny

      Now you just need to write it up as a business process and patent it!

  10. That's it... by Kid+Zero · · Score: 0, Funny

    I'm patenting the internet. Pay up, Suckers!

    1. Re:That's it... by GoMMiX · · Score: 0, Funny

      Ummm, doesn't Al Gore already own that patent?

  11. Re:The Real Reason for Patents by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    fine i patent free speech.

    is that okay with you?

  12. Re:The Real Reason for Patents by protohiro1 · · Score: 4, Funny

    "but soon in the future, laws will be passed, and that problem will be gone"

    Fantastic! And we can celibrate this new era of equality in our flying cars.

    --
    Sig removed because it was obnoxious
  13. Re:Not Another One! by FluxCapacitator · · Score: 0, Funny

    The stench and glare from the pale, bespectacled, unwashed slashdot masses is definetely something to fear!

  14. government ageny & sane people by Sean+Clifford · · Score: 3, Funny
    Can somebody tell me which government agency is actually run by sane, competent people?

    Pffft! That's easy!

    The Department of Education.

    Oh, wait.

    Nevermind.

  15. Too many lawyers by superpulpsicle · · Score: 3, Funny

    Is it me or is the demand for lawyer increasing forever. Everyone sues every company, and vice versa.

    At this rate, some day someone will make up some legit reason to sue the entire Internet altogether.

  16. Re:I sue George Bush for stupidity infringment!! by dukeisgod · · Score: 5, Funny

    I know I shouldn't be feeding the troll, but does that mean you're saying that you were stupid first?

  17. Could be worse. by bgeer · · Score: 3, Funny

    It could have sample screenshots ripped off of a competing product filed in the patent application.

  18. Re:Not Another One! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

    SCO more or less did take on Slashdot in a lawsuit.

  19. Has anyone patented suing as a business model? by aauu · · Score: 4, Funny

    Replace all your hordes of workers with a handful of lawyers. Pay them % of the profits. Sue anyone listed in the phone book. (pat pend.)

    --
    When I was young, I had to rub sticks together to compute.
  20. I think I've solved the problem. by teamhasnoi · · Score: 4, Funny
    I'm going to patent Apathy! That way, when people complain about how nothing is being done, I can sue them for not doing anything themselves, like writing their congresswhores, or donating money to the EFF, or boycotting companies that use patent litigation as a business model.


    Now if I could only...get out of this....chair......ah, fuckit.


    Wow! I'm making money already!

  21. Re:Come On by Capsaicin · · Score: 1, Funny

    this really won't be good for anyone if it actually works

    It would be pretty good for Open Market's shareholders.

    --
    Better to be despised for too anxious apprehensions, than ruined by too confident a security. --Edmund Burke
  22. I've got an invention... by Myco · · Score: 1, Funny

    The one click lawsuit.

    I've got a good feeling about this one.

    --
    My deviantArt site
  23. Re:Not Another One! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Erm.. yes, it would be "like being nibbled to death by ducks" :P

  24. Re:Not Another One! by Hektor_Troy · · Score: 3, Funny
    Besides the enormous Slashdotting you would receive in return...
    I thought you said in your rectum ...
    --
    We do not live in the 21st century. We live in the 20 second century.
  25. Hell hath no fury.... by openmtl · · Score: 1, Funny
    Both the Soverain President and the VP are women. The President was also an attorney.

    Boy are Amazon in for a long fight !.

    Hides as wife walks into room...

    --

  26. Amazon Sued for Patent Infringement? How Sad... by Pan+T.+Hose · · Score: 0, Funny

    I would like to help them so much... I know! I will offer Amazon my legal advice, free of charge, because I think they are great, and I am such a nice guy, despite being a lawyer. Let me only click... Oh, no! I would have to commit a crime of one-clicking patent infringement to even RTFA! But I want to help them! Must... resist... Thou Shall Not Infringe... Thou Shall Not Steal Innovative Clicking Ideas... But... I ... must... help... Only... clicking... would... help... Must... not... click... Help... Click... No... Cannot... Oh dear God, my brain!

    --
    Sincerely,
    Pan Tarhei Hosé, PhD.
    "Homo sum et cogito ergo odi profanum vulgus et libido."
  27. Business Plan by Stiletto · · Score: 1, Funny


    Step 1: Buy the "IP" of a bankrupt company
    Step 2: Find someone infringing and sue
    Step 3: Profit!!!

  28. Re:Not Another One! by falsified · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm sitting here trying to imagine what a physical slashdotting would be like. I imagine we'd stand outside the building for a few minutes and then a few of us would start running into the building with arms pointed straight at the ground. Then several more would start going, yelling "frosty borscht" or whatever they're saying instead of "first post" these days. Then, everyone else would charge full-speed with maniacal grins, with a collective scream of incredibly lame "server's down" jokes. A force to be reckoned with, for sure.

    --
    HI, MY NAME IS ISAAC.
  29. Re:Not Another One! by JET+666 · · Score: 3, Funny

    don't forget the looting. Oh i mean to setup a mirror, yeah thats it.

    --
    De sig boss de sig
  30. Re:Not Another One! by Perl-Pusher · · Score: 4, Funny

    I imagine some people carrying signs with the goatse.cx picture. Others would argue for software patents just to troll and get others to argue against. Some jerk would stand there and wonder Imagine a beowulf cluster of ......