Mind Over Machine

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Posted by michael on Friday February 27, 2004 @06:20AM from the ultimate-laziness dept.

broKenfoLd writes "Monkeys moving robotic arms by manipulating a cursor on a computer screen, simply by thinking about it? Mice who cause their water tube to dispense some refreshing H2O just by wishing it? Signal processing and decoding has long been a dream of Matrix fans and lazy system administrators for years, and science is amazingly keeping up! Popular Science's Carl Zimmer has written a fascinating piece documenting recent progress in decoding brain signals and interpreting commands issued from thoughts alone. If you heard a single violin playing Beethoven's 5th, you would be able to tell what piece of music was being played even though the rest of the orchestra was not heard. In the same way, by monitoring a relatively few neurons, computers can recognize patterns and allow programming based on these patterns to say, know if a mouse is thinking about pushing his water lever. You can pass the time waiting for Matrix-style video games and motionless system adminstration/utilization by reading the full article."

50 of 331 comments (clear)

Channel surfing by Dashing+Leech · 2004-02-27 06:21 · Score: 5, Funny

But can it be used for channel surfing. That's the ultimate goal.
1. Re:Channel surfing by Hooya · 2004-02-27 06:27 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  but the TV would be stuck on the p0rn channel. if you've got a wife, LOOK OUT!!
2. Re:Channel surfing by rusty0101 · 2004-02-27 06:30 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  Here I though the idea was to make it possible to force 1000 monkeys to type more continuously.
  
  We have got to see if Shakespear was better than 1000 monkeys don't we?
  
  --
  You never know...
3. Re:Channel surfing by spectecjr · 2004-02-27 06:48 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  but the TV would be stuck on the p0rn channel. if you've got a wife, LOOK OUT!!
  
  The trick is to marry someone who enjoys watching porn with you. It's not that hard; if I can do it, anyone can.
  
  --
  Coming soon - pyrogyra
4. Re:Channel surfing by lcsjk · 2004-02-27 07:08 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  What's his name?
5. Re:Channel surfing by SEE · 2004-02-27 07:11 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Please. This is /. The only wives we have are from here.
6. Re:Channel surfing by tanguyr · 2004-02-27 07:19 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  i'm thinking real hard of modding you +1 funny. let me know how it works out.
  
  --
  #!/usr/bin/english
7. Re:Channel surfing by Tackhead · 2004-02-27 07:25 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  > > Nice try, but women don't enjoy porn. They've got this thing with emotional bonding and sensible family life.
  >
  > Nice try, but I know several women who do enjoy porn. You're just not getting to know the right women.
  Or he's not showing them the right pr0n. (This is Slashdot, after all.)
8. Re:Channel surfing by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 08:19 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  The trick is to marry someone who enjoys watching porn with you. It's not that hard
  Can't be very exciting porn then....
9. Re:Channel surfing by Wintergrey · 2004-02-27 08:41 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Sign of the Apocalypse #39952:
  Intelligent, insightful relationship advice regarding women on /.
  (Hold me, I'm scared...)
10. Re:Channel surfing by El_Ehmenopio · 2004-02-27 10:10 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I'll drink to that. But a better trick is marrying someone who enjoys MAKEING porn with you.
Useful... by ackthpt · 2004-02-27 06:22 · Score: 2, Funny

computers can recognize patterns and allow programming based on these patterns to say, know if a mouse is thinking about pushing his water lever.
Sounds like an old joke we shared around the IT dept about 20 years ago related to 'anticipatory paging', why not anticipatory programming. Hmm. Useful
This could save some of the effort of heavy lifting of that axe or driving that nail.

"after the nth time the process failed I gave the computer such a look that the software uninstalled itself, the harddrive crashed and the O/s committed suicide."

--

A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
1. Re:Useful... by Tablizer · 2004-02-27 06:32 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  why not anticipatory programming
  
  THEN x = 3
  IF x == uninitializedValue
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
Just don't forget one thing! by Bendebecker · 2004-02-27 06:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Monsters, John! Monsters... from the id!

--
There's a growing sense that even if The Future comes,
most of us won't be able to afford it.
-- Lemmy
This could be bad... by jhouserizer · 2004-02-27 06:23 · Score: 5, Funny

Can you imagine what might happen when a "hottie" walks though the office?
1. Re:This could be bad... by FooGoo · 2004-02-27 06:30 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  all the CD drives prematurely eject?
  
  --
  People who bite the hand that feeds them usually lick the boot that kicks them
2. Re:This could be bad... by ackthpt · 2004-02-27 06:31 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Can you imagine what might happen when a "hottie" walks though the office?
  What? Outlook automatically downloads all youre V1@gr@ spam onto your drive for your perusal?
  
  --
  
  A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
3. Re:This could be bad... by bluGill · 2004-02-27 06:36 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Interesting question. I love questions like this that we can debate, secure in the knowledge that we will never find out the real answer. Eventually we will find out what it is like to have this working, but we geeks will never find out what it is like to have a "hottie" walk though the office.
  Congratulations, you have posed the perfect open ended question.
4. Re:This could be bad... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 06:39 · Score: 0, Funny
  
  I suspect her anti-leering shields will activate.
5. Re:This could be bad... by lcsjk · 2004-02-27 06:52 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  So that explains all that spam! Wait, I can't feel the wires. They must have used wireless devices! Help, I'm not sure if this is really me!
6. Re:This could be bad... by elbarrio · 2004-02-27 06:59 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  ahhh.... you obviously have never worked on the same floor as HR. ;)
We have that already. by tktk · 2004-02-27 06:23 · Score: 5, Funny

...motionless system adminstration/utilization...
I call it sleeping.
1. Re:We have that already. by raider_red · 2004-02-27 06:56 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I call it working for a government agency. (Before you accuse me of trolling, I am working for a government agency.)
  
  --
  It's good to use your head, but not as a battering ram.
Not such a big deal by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 06:23 · Score: 5, Funny

My water tube can dispense a refreshing H20-based substance just by wishing.
1. Re:Not such a big deal by StarfishOne · 2004-02-27 07:08 · Score: 1, Funny
  
  that sounds quite disturbing to me somehow...
Maybe the Should Rename Magazine... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 06:23 · Score: 1, Funny

from Popular Science to Crazy as Hell Science.
Well by Rupan · 2004-02-27 06:25 · Score: 0, Funny

I, for one, welcome our machine overlords. Welcome to the Source!

--
Ads? What ads?
1. Re:Well by Zcipher · 2004-02-27 07:07 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  I, for one, welcome our machine overlords.
  
  Or, more accurately, "I, for one, welcome our new monkey-controlled robot overlords."
  
  Remember, the first rule of comedy: Monkeys are funny. The second rule of comedy? Anything that is funny can be made more so by the addition of monkeys.
  
  We now return you to your regularly scheduled /., already in progress.
Wow, Me Too! by MooseByte · 2004-02-27 06:25 · Score: 5, Funny

"Mice who cause their water tube to dispense some refreshing H2O just by wishing it?"
Uncanny! Just this morning I caused by "water tube" to dispense liquid just by wishing it too!
ai by maxbang · 2004-02-27 06:27 · Score: 2, Funny

They're talking about reverse engineering the brain - it would be pretty sweet, but one hell of a task to filter through all the activity and figure out what signal meant what, combinations, etc. I'm sure an Altair is all you would need to reverse engineer my brain. You'd flip maybe ten switches, tops.

--
I also reply below your current threshold.
Ok, that should be SUV... by bad+enema · 2004-02-27 06:29 · Score: 2, Funny

Not SCV...Damn Starcraft.
Re:Say it all with me now... by ImaNumber · 2004-02-27 06:30 · Score: 5, Funny

The best part is that this computer can be mass produced with unskilled labor!
Maybe in the future... by BW_Nuprin · 2004-02-27 06:30 · Score: 5, Funny

...we'll be able to RTFA just by thinking about it!
But that would require thinking, and that hurts :(
Re:umm.. not just yet. by millahtime · 2004-02-27 06:31 · Score: 4, Funny

"but if you tried to walk with 95% accuracy"

95% is better than me and my friends after a night out onthe town and we make it home ok. 95% is pretty good betting odds, too.

--
Evolution or ID?
I'm thinking... by kyshtock · 2004-02-27 06:33 · Score: 2, Funny

1. I'm thinking to secure the server/firewall/whatever... Zzzzzt! done!
2. I'm thinking I deserve a raise. Zzzzt! agreed.
Idiot! 3. I'm thinking I'll have myself a raise. Zzzzt... done.
4. I'm thinking that the leggy busty blonde wants visit my bed tonite...Zzzzt!
5. I'm thinking I should you all leave think. Zzzzt!.. !@#RTA [NO CARRIER]

--
Bite my shiny metal... oops... Nevermind!
Doesn't the guy from Amazon... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 06:34 · Score: 1, Funny

...have a patent on thinking about stuff? Might cramp the market for such devices.
Re:umm.. not just yet. by ackthpt · 2004-02-27 06:35 · Score: 2, Funny

the best of these kind of devices (devloped in nasa labs) can only do 95% accuracy.
Well, so they claim, it's a robot that just appeared one day and keeps complaining about this horrible pain in all the diodes down its left side.

--

A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
I Wish by RetroGeek · 2004-02-27 06:40 · Score: 2, Funny

Singing to self: "I wish I was an Oscar Myers wiener"

P O O F !

--

- - - - - - - - - - -
I am a programmer. I am paid to produce syntax not grammar. Deal with it.
Re:I don't think it will ever be like in the movie by kfg · 2004-02-27 06:47 · Score: 5, Funny

But a rat's mind is way simpler.

Allow me to introduce you to our management team.

KFG
Re:Cell Phone by memco · 2004-02-27 06:50 · Score: 0, Funny

I sure hope we're not "plugged in". A lot of companies are investing in some new technology called wireless or something. It may just be the wave of the future!

--
Get me a meat pie floater!
As his cat goes up in flames... by bobdotorg · 2004-02-27 06:51 · Score: 2, Funny

As his cat goes up in flames...

No!!! God dammit!!! I thought a BUD LIGHT!!!

--
__ Someday, but not this morning, I'll finally learn to use the preview button.
I'm thinking of.... by weeboo0104 · 2004-02-27 06:52 · Score: 5, Funny

FIRST POST! FIRST POST!

(Damn, didn't work)

Natalie Portman in my cube.

(Nope, still doesn't work)

I want to be overworked and overpaid, but still have time to surf slashdot from work.

(Woohoo! It works!)

--
It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men. -Frederick Douglass
Is it time for ... ClippyXP? by ggvaidya · 2004-02-27 07:26 · Score: 5, Funny

"You are thinking of typing a letter ... "
Pleeeeeeease don't let MS get their hands on this one, mister!
I thong ot well be cool! by rjelks · 2004-02-27 07:36 · Score: 4, Funny

I can't waid two get this of my home computer. I hoop is works is goat as me speak recondition program!

-

--

Tech News, Reviews and Tutorials
I had a machine like this once... by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 07:56 · Score: 1, Funny

I wished for a glass of high-proof whiskey and got it, but then spilled it on my shirt. I wished for a sponge to clean it up, but the machine gave me a lit cigarette instead. After I got out of the hospital, I sold it.
Re:Cell Phone by ZackSchil · 2004-02-27 07:56 · Score: 2, Funny

Well, there is pre-speech thought and there is conceptual thought. Aside from sounding like a jumblefuck of absolute nonsense, if any conceptual thought slipped into your little mental cellphone, you might have some trouble on your hands.

"No mom, I haven't filled out the job application yet!fuckingshitfilledpieceofdeathuselesskillhatrid noneedjobgetweedsmoke"

"What the HELL was that you were thinking?!"

"Umm.. ahh, I think the electrodes are malfunctioning... wait... uhh, hold on, you're breaking up. I have to go bitchlifesuckingcun...." [transmission has ended]
Re:Is this a troll? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 08:14 · Score: 4, Funny

I'd like to see a simple switch based on brain activity that would toggle on during sexual thought/arousal and toggle off in the absence of that

I believe its called a penis my friend.
Re:This is all cool, but... by Psmylie · 2004-02-27 08:25 · Score: 2, Funny

"If an alien civilization / being came to visit it us, would it talk to a person, or would it talk to Google via posting websites?"

Actually, this is more or less true. The X-10 ad pop-ups were an invasion that we just barely managed to fight off with penis-enlargement spam.

--

psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo
Something's wrong by A+nonymous+Coward · 2004-02-27 09:06 · Score: 3, Funny

It's not that hard

Then what's the point? Especially when married?

--
Infuriate left and right
In my job, I practice with this everyday by Anonymous Coward · 2004-02-27 09:06 · Score: 3, Funny

"motionless system adminstration"

Yip.