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Stolen Laptop Alarms
torok writes "Three Engineering students from Simon Fraser University in Burnaby, BC, Canada have developed a laptop alarm complete with remote pager that detects if your laptop is being moved and sounds an alarm. The article is a bit sketchy on details, but it sounds like a cool idea."
... and if I hear one of these going off during a test, I'll find the engineers and beat them up!
In Soviet America the banks rob you!
DANGER WILL ROBINSON! DANGER!! Now if only the robot would come and kick the crap out of the guy taking the laptop... that would be great.
Is this where I can look at stolen laptop alarms? Mine was stolen last week on the subway...
1. Secretly Detach Laptop Alarm
2. Attach to dog Bowser and set dog free.
3. Claim that laptop was lost.
4. ???.
5. Profit.
6. Buy new laptop with alarm.
7. Repeat.
If you can't find the guy who walked off with your laptop, press button 'B' and collect his ashes.
Beep beep beep, you laptop is being stolen.
Beep beep beep, you will never see it again.
Beep beep beep, haha.
I just keep a laptop that isn't worth stealing.
EVERYDAY IS CATURDAY
Good. Maybe I can adapt one to go off when my wife picks up my wallet.
Anti-gravity? That was *my* little secret! But I never patented it! Boy, was *that* dumb!
This finally explains why this thinkpad won't stop its incessant beeping.
"I wonder what possesses people to steal others' laptops. Is there a deep insatiable need to steal inherent in the theives that brings them to that point?"
I guess the same thing that keeps me from going down to Best Buy every payday to buy a new laptop is what motivates the thieves. It's like walking into the library and seeing a stack of hundred dollar bills sitting on a table.
Now, what I would *really* like to see is an exploding dye packet, like the ones the banks slip into the stolen money during robberies. Slide it in and close the cover. When the thief opens the lid for the first time...BAM...all of a sudden he looks like one of those blue guys in the Pentium ads. Oh, wouldn't that be good fun!
Anti-gravity? That was *my* little secret! But I never patented it! Boy, was *that* dumb!
I have a sneaking suspicion it's because they want to take your stuff. Without, like, paying for it.
Now that you know their motivation perhaps you can do away with band-aid measures to prevent it, and then apply it to diamonds, money and TV sets so we can get rid of all of our alarms, locks and stuff.
Should be easy. It's surprising that nobody's done it already, innit?
KFG
Everyone knows that even though it's unlikely, your home could get broken into this very night.
Not just unlikely, but improbable. Somebody broke into my mother in law's fenced-in yard. It has a brand new steel fence with a gate. So someone walked up and opened the man-sized gate, no big deal. He stole a flatbed trailer. How they got the trailer into the yard, I do not know, and how this guy got the thing out, I do not know. Obviously he did not drive a truck through the fence. The only thing I can think of is four of five guys turned it sideways and walked through the gate or passed it over the top of the fence.
My point is, thieves strike at the worst times in the most improbable ways. You never see it coming because you do not expect it to come. Always be prepared: keep your shit locked up, and make sure you have insurance. If a laptop is stolen from your house, most home insurance policies should cover the loss. Even with depreciation you should get enough to help cover the cost of a new laptop.
24 beers in a case, 24 hours in a day. Coincidence? I think not!
Yes, I call that 'uglification'. It's a good trick to keep the staplers, tape dispensers, footstools, etc., from running off at work.
I wonder if it might be enough to stick a prominent "Protected by Brink's Security" sticker on the lid. Maybe glue an old beeper case on, with a push button that flashes a red LED. After all, the threat of deterrence is almost as good as deterrence itself.
Anti-gravity? That was *my* little secret! But I never patented it! Boy, was *that* dumb!
Just install BSD on it. Since this OS is dying, who would want the laptop?
Down in South Africa, They have car alarms that shoot flames and kill the thief.
Now my invention, car batteries attached to the laptop, of course it might be to heavy to steal, will have to work on that aspect...
I doubt it happened. Besides, when have you seen campus police move that fast unless it's to ticket your illegally parked car?
http://www.rootstrikers.org/
I doubt in this time and age, a black box being carried by a rapidly walking person making a loud, alarm like noise would be disregarded in any sort of transportation terminal. Airports have been locked-down for less...
i've taken the opposite approach to alarms. if i have to leave the room, i just crank slayer on my laptop at full volume. when i hear the music begin to fade away, i know my laptop is being being stolen.
i call it my "proactive audio alarm system." maybe i should file a patent?
TODO: come up with a clever sig
You've got this sweet lil' notepad computer... when Mr. Thief put's stylus to display, the stylus explodes a dye capsule out the back covering Mr. Thief, and Mr. Thief's clothes with a pernitious and utterly permanent purple dye. Then the screen begins to flash;
Dear Mr. Thief,
You've just been sprayed with a powerful toxic dye. You have approximately 10 hours to report to the computer's true owner before it becomes too late to receive the antidote. You can reach the owner at; *PLACE YOUR PHONE NUMBER HERE*. You will then be given instructions on where to go, and how to get there. Your life depends on following these instructions exactly. This is what you get for being a waste of human DNA. I hope the rest of your day sucks too...
*The Original Owner of this Computer*
P.S. The computer better be in good condition when you arrive, or you won't be when you leave...
I mean with the rysin scare at the Senate, would you risk not getting in touch with the owner? Of course, you then contact the police, inform them you're running your own little sting operation, and make sure Mr. Thief is properly greeted as you get your computer back.
--Genda
Alarms going off has become so prevalent in our society that most people ignore them. When was the last time you saw someone concerned about a car alarm going off?
It depends on the alarm. Anything that sounds like an alarm (or a cellphone) will get ignored. A more cunning alarm would shout "Fire!", "Rape!", "Help! I'm being kidnapped" or "Free beer!"
So have an "airport mode" for the system that changes the alarm from a generic siren to a prerecorded message. Something like, oh...
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.
You must have had a lot of fun taking that through airport security... :-)
A marriage is always made up of two people who are prepared to swear that only the other one snores.