Junkie Loves His Spam

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Posted by CmdrTaco on Tuesday March 16, 2004 @04:35AM from the ruining-the-internet-for-the-rest-of-us dept.

VicPylon writes "Here is the reason we have to spend time and money on spam filters. This character actually responds to and buys from spam. I wonder if he is aware that he is supporting digital pollution?" I guess this proves that there really is something for everyone online.

25 of 667 comments (clear)

Whats his email? by brejc8 · 2004-03-16 04:36 · Score: 5, Funny

Interesting they didn't give out his email address.

--
Mouse powered Chips, Open source Processors and Lego
1. Re:Whats his email? by SmackCrackandPot · 2004-03-16 04:49 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Of course not. He doesn't want to be spammed with real messages. He's probably even got an E-mail filter that removes everything but spam.
2. Re:Whats his email? by Psmylie · 2004-03-16 05:36 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I remember the days when you could give out your email address on the web (like on your own website!) and you would only get meaningful email
  
  Yeah, that was a good week.
  
  --
  
  psmylie's dictionary: Godzillion (noun) Any number large enough to destroy Tokyo
3. Re:Whats his email? by RLW · 2004-03-16 06:58 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  He can either spend his money on spam pitches or he can get mugged. I bet the muggers get pretty peeved though when they demand cash and all he has to offer is vitamins, penis enlargement pills and blurbs about time shares.
  
  After Federal income tax, State income tax, City income tax and sales tax, most of that 40k got mugged by his elected officials anyway.
  
  In any case as much as we hate spam at least its better for us that he does this than him doing hard drugs.
4. Re:Whats his email? by Anonymous Coward · 2004-03-16 08:17 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  He's probably even got an E-mail filter that removes everything but spam.
  
  So do I... it's called "Hotmail"
Really... by hookedup · 2004-03-16 04:36 · Score: 5, Funny

There is only so much male enhancement products a man can buy.

They seem to be the only spam i've been getting lately. Maybe my wife is feeding them my email addresses...
1. Re:Really... by brejc8 · 2004-03-16 04:40 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Reminds me of a spoof spam male enhancement pyramid scheme.
  You divide your penis into one inch parts and send them off to the people on the list and forward the email on.
  Within a week you will receive 20feet of penis.
  
  --
  Mouse powered Chips, Open source Processors and Lego
2. Re:Really... by _Sharp'r_ · 2004-03-16 04:40 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  Yeah, it's like many RPG games, you can only have two gloves, two bracers, 10 rings, one headgear, etc... because that's all that will fit on your appendage.
  
  I'll leave the reader to apply that logic to the parent post.
  
  --
  The party of stupid and the party of evil get together and do something both stupid and evil, then call it bipartisan.
3. Re:Really... by ackthpt · 2004-03-16 04:44 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  There is only so much male enhancement products a man can buy.
  He prbably doesn't need a belt.
  I can't help but wonder how many worms and virii are on his computer, not to mention spyware.
  
  --
  
  A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
4. Re:Really... by phutureboy · 2004-03-16 05:04 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I've thought it would be funny to buy and use each and every penis enlargement product pitched to me via spam for one year, and document the results on a weblog. At the end of that year, I bet my schlong would be enormous.
5. Re:Really... by Cruciform · 2004-03-16 05:11 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  It will be great when spammers finally start seeing jail time.
  
  They'll be receiving unlimited penis!
6. Re:Really... by thelasttemptation · 2004-03-16 05:37 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  Eleven rings, thank you very much... :P
Maybe it's true by Gzip+Christ · 2004-03-16 04:37 · Score: 5, Funny

Ah, I get it now. Those "enlarge your penis" spams really do work - if you respond to them, you're nothing but a big dick.
Mortgage rates by st0rmshadow · 2004-03-16 04:40 · Score: 4, Funny

He must have the lowest mortgage rate ever.
Sheeeeesh! by trp642 · 2004-03-16 04:40 · Score: 5, Funny
How much can one actually love spam? Its not like there is a huge selection of products. Mr. Soto can now claim the following:
- He has the world's largest penis, that is never flacid.
- He makes $10k working at home in his spare time.
- He's seen Paris Hilton nekkid more than anyone.
- His wife's breasts are larger.
- He has the lowest mortgage rate in the world.
Did I miss anything? I mean damn, how many different ways can you spell V!@G.RA???!
1. Re:Sheeeeesh! by grub · 2004-03-16 04:49 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  His wife's breasts are larger.
  
  I could have saved him some money. She should have just rubbed her breasts with toilet paper, it worked on my ex-wife's ass.
  
  --
  Trolling is a art,
2. Re:Sheeeeesh! by gosand · 2004-03-16 05:07 · Score: 5, Funny
  
  I think you mean...
  He has the woOrld's la.rG_est Pae.n.is, that is nev@r fflAccid.
  He makes $10k woarKING @t homme in his sp.a.re ti_me.
  He's seen P.a r is Hi+ltoon nek&kid more than anyone.
  His wife's br*ea=sts are la%rg"er.
  He has the lowest M.0rt6a6e Re.ate in the w0r1D.
  
  --
  
  My beliefs do not require that you agree with them.
We should encourage spam buying by pyser · 2004-03-16 04:47 · Score: 5, Funny

According to the article it takes one buyer out of 15,000 e-mails sent in order to break even. If more people would buy from spam, they'd have to send out fewer e-mails to break even, right?
The email by Gzip+Christ · 2004-03-16 04:53 · Score: 4, Funny

I believe the parent is referring to the "Make Penis Fast!" email, for those that haven't read it yet.
Rats by Rick+Zeman · 2004-03-16 05:00 · Score: 4, Funny

Unfortunately, since it said he's a grandfather, that means he's already reproduced and passed on his stupidity genes. :-(
Re:Sounds fishy by vorwerk · 2004-03-16 05:02 · Score: 4, Funny

How does a guy earning $40k per year have a 2 bedroom apartment in Midtown Manhattan?

He replied to one of the "Earn $10k a week, at home, in your spare time" spams :)
No, but we do have the author's address. by iamacat · 2004-03-16 05:18 · Score: 4, Funny

"Write to Mylene Mangalindan at mylene.mangalindan@wsj.com". Shall we?
Re:oh boy... by IthnkImParanoid · 2004-03-16 05:27 · Score: 4, Funny

As the article mentions, he is unfortunately a 45-year old grandfather. Not only has he reproduced already, but his spawn is reproducing quickly. It's too late, the world is doomed.

--
It's nothing but crumpled porno and Ayn Rand.
Re:Just Goes To Show... by r2vf · 2004-03-16 05:58 · Score: 5, Funny

no the guy is not an idiot...

he's a spammer.

*throat clearing noise*
He may be lying, then... by Dimensio · 2004-03-16 08:00 · Score: 4, Funny

If he is a spammer, by his own admission, then anything that he said with regards to "loving spam" is instantly suspect. Rule #1: Spammers LIE.

Of course, there is rule #3: Spammers are STOOPID.

--
STOP MISUSING APOSTROPHES, YOU MORONS!!!