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Florida Ponders Communication Tax on LANs
victor_the_cleaner writes "Here in Florida, a little known tax provision may lead to LANs being taxed. According to the article, 'The provision was intended to make sure companies operating their own land line communication systems, which two decades ago was limited to large utilities and railroads, were paying the same taxes paid by those who rely on commercial phone carriers. About 10 companies (in Florida) pay more than $1.2 million annually based on that definition. However, the statute is so broadly worded that it could be interpreted to describe a local area network.'
Internal auditors at the city of Tampa noticed a couple of years ago that the substitute communications service provision was still there and asked state officials why it wasn't being enforced.
And now people like Sharon Fox, the city of Tampa's tax revenue coordinator are pushing for enforcement."
Florida tax auditor found strangled with cat 5 . Police baffled. "Why anyone would use a network cable is beyond us stated........
hide my "cans on string" communications network before the taxman cometh!
LAN Inspector: "Hello, mam. I need to search your house for networking cables in order to tax you properly."
How many people are going to open their door to a guy that that? It seems more like a wallet inspector position to me.
EVERYDAY IS CATURDAY
Admin: Somebody set up us the tax provision.
Admin: We get signal.
CEO: What!
Admin: Main screen turn on.
CEO: It's You!!
Florida: How are you gentlemen!!
Florida: All your LAN are belong to us.
Florida: You are on the way to taxation.
CEO: What you say!!
I work for a cell company that deals with those idiots. At least 1 out of 10 can add, you cant say that for Georgia!
Do they tax LANs in India? Russia? Other countries?
Of course not. In Russia, the LANs tax you!
Want to improve your Karma? Instead of "Post Anonymously", try the "Post Humously" option.
For a second there I thought this was Fark. I was expecting to see a Florida tag.
--"The perfect example of the man of action is the suicide." - William Carlos Williams
the connection between you and your provider (DSL)
Duh. That is already taxed. Whether you have DSL or Cable the government is getting part of what you pay. That is the point of the article. The government already taxes the regular communication networks. They wanted to make sure that company's that run their own lines pay tax, too. Only in Florida it seems they got carried away. And guessing that it is vague enough for those other things is just silliness. The law would basically have to say - tax anything that has a connection and then they would tax babies for their embilical cord.
this reminds of the stamp act what are we going to dress like MCSE's and start throwing networking equipment into a nearby lake?
Oh that would of been funny if it wasn't for the tipo.
X=M
I'll get the hang of this keyboard. Honest.
"Hi. I'm having trouble accessing my files today."
"Your username?"
"SF3092."
[clickety-click] "Sharon Fox, is it?"
"That's right."
[clickety-click rm -rf, you know the drill] "But you don't have any files!"
"What? OMIGOD, my LAN tax proposal was in there!"
"As if I didn't know."
"Excuse me?"
"I said 'I can't imagine where it could go.' Don't worry, we have it on backup."
"Thank goodness."
"It's engraved on a grain of rice. Bwah hahahaha!"
"AAIIIIIIGGGGHHHHH!"
(with apologies to Simon)
I see one and only one way a tax on LANs becomes fair.
Yeah...if they came to my house. I've been wanting to get rid of this cat 3 stuff for years.
What?
Plumber!
I didn't call a plumber. Who is it!?
Flowers!
Flowers for who?
Plumber!
Why you're that crazy Landshark aren't you?
No ma'am, I'm just a dolphin. Will you let me in please?
A dolphin? OK.
Aaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!! You're not a dolphin. You're a filthy A LAN inspector!!!
Well this is Florida too. Let's just call him a LAN Shark.
"Who is it?"
"Plumber."
"I didn't hire a plumber. Who is it?"
"Candygram."
"You're...that crazy LAN Shark I've been hearing about on Slashdot, aren't you?!"
"No ma'am, I'm...I'm just a dolphin."
With a tribute {and apologies} to George Harrison:
(If you drive a car car) I'll tax the street
(If you try to sit sit) I'll tax your seat
(If you get too cold cold) I'll tax the heat
(If you take a walk walk) I'll tax your feet
(If you push 'trons on the wire) I'll tax your LAN
(If you push them outside)I'll tax the WAN
"If you put the federal government in charge of the Sahara Desert, in 5 years there'd be a shortage of sand". -Milton F.
Well, if they start taxing SneakerNet I want an extra deduction for buying new shoes every year.
The higher the technology, the sharper that two-edged sword.
However this could be a big advantage. if this entices the spammers to leave florida then perhaps we can get them into a state with capital punishment for spamming.
I as a native of south Florida, I demand a tax recount!
...but I think it'd be best to save it for when my state decides to tax my home LAN.
Given the ignorance of the media on technology issues, I'd expect the closing of that breaking news to be "cats 1 through 4 unavailable for comment."
beating the hell out of a hammer shouldn't be your biggest concern when people are throwing hammers at you.