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Is the Universe Shaped Like a Funnel?

Posted by michael on from the down-down-down-to-that-burning-ring-of-fire dept.

DrMorpheus writes "A new theory of the shape of the Cosmos posits that the Universe may be shaped like a medieval horn, according to Frank Steiner at the University of Ulm. This theory, if true, could explain several strange observations about the microwave background radiation. The Universe would be stretched out at one end into a long tube and flared out into a bell at the opposite end. The technical name for this shape is a 'Picard topology'. To quote the article, '...our Universe is curved like a Pringle, shaped like a horn, and named after a Star Trek character. You could not make it up.'"

16 of 525 comments (clear)

  1. Of course, Monty Python reference. by The+I+Shing · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just have to jump in and be the first one to make the reference to Sir Bedevere's remark at the end of what could only be assumed to be a lengthy explanation to King Arthur, "...and that, my Liege, is how we know the earth to be banana shaped."

    Imagine if he'd said, "...and that, my Liege, is how we know the universe to be shaped like a trumpet." Terry Gilliam and Terry Jones might have been Nobel Prize candidates.

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    1. Re:Of course, Monty Python reference. by Mateito · · Score: 5, Funny

      > Maybe that's why music soothes the soul. I mean,
      > if the whole universe has the shape of a sound
      > producing "horn".. (I know, the subject said
      > "funnel" but the body says "horn" and I'm a
      > brass player)

      I am also a brass player*. But that doesn't stop me imagining that the Universe is the shape of an erect penis.

      Adds a whole new meaning to the "big bang".

      Also explains what the unverse was created in 7 seconds.

      *Technically not, I play Sax, which any Trumpet playing purist well tell you is a woodwind instrument, even though its not made out of wood.

      --
      Norman Cook's Ode to Sl
  2. What shap haven't we had by twanvl · · Score: 5, Funny

    Last year it was a dodecahedron, this year a funnel, what's it going to be next year?

    1. Re:What shap haven't we had by maxwell+demon · · Score: 4, Funny

      I've got the solution:

      The universe is universe-shaped!

      --
      The Tao of math: The numbers you can count are not the real numbers.
    2. Re:What shap haven't we had by SmackCrackandPot · · Score: 4, Funny

      From Professor Simpson on donutology

      Donuts most definitely. There are two things to note. The first is that we don't know what's at the end of the horn. For all we know, there could be another horn facing in the exact opposite direction. The other is that we don't know what's outside the open end either. But it must wrap around and go somewhere. If there are two horns end-to-end and they wrap-around, you've got a bagel or donut depending on what's filling the universe. Then the galaxies are like raisins in a raisin donut, and the remnants of the big bang are like the icing on the top of the donut or sesame seeds on the top of a bagel. Either way the universe is a yummy place to be.

  3. If it is shaped like a funnel by Tibor+the+Hun · · Score: 5, Funny

    If it is shaped like a funnel, does it point up -- like a Dunce Hat, or down -- like a toilet bowl?

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  4. Picard topology by dmccarty · · Score: 4, Funny

    Does that have something to do with the shape of Patrick Stewart's bald head?

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  5. Well then by FS1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    If the universe is shaped like a horn, curved like a pringle, and named after Jean-Luke Picard.
    Then it is all my favorites rolled into one.
    The universe blows, is made out of mashed potatoes, and is named after someone i look up to.

    Sorry couldn't help myself.

    --
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  6. Kirk vs Picard by CaptnMArk · · Score: 4, Funny

    Eat your heart out Kirk!

  7. Re:Someone enlighten me.... by Torgo's+Pizza · · Score: 4, Funny

    So that big old guy dressed in white with the beard turned on "God" mode? It's all beginning to make sense now...

  8. Re:Um by spellraiser · · Score: 5, Funny

    Sorry - I just have to cut in here.

    It's actually our universe. The rest of you will need to pay $699 to live in it.

    - Darl McBride

    --
    I hear there's rumors on the Slashdots
  9. A funnel now? by FreeLinux · · Score: 4, Funny

    Slashdot loves these guessing games, doesn't it?

    Slashdot says; the universe is shaped like a doughnut
    Slashdot says; universe is shaped like a soccer ball

    I say; the universe is shaped like a /. Prove me wrong.

  10. At the University of Umm by stratjakt · · Score: 4, Funny

    STUDENT: Professor, what is the Universe shaped like?

    PROF: Ummm, a big horn. Next question.

    STUDENT: Professor, what causes cancer?

    PROF: Umm, breadsticks.

    STUDENT: Professor, is Linux going to take over the desktop this year?

    PROF: Umm, yeah sure.

    DONT YOU BELIEVE IT!

    --
    I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  11. In the begining... by WoodenRobot · · Score: 4, Funny

    In the model, technically called a Picard topology, the Universe curves in a strange way.

    In the begining was the words, and they were "Make it so"...

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    ---
    "I did nothing. I did absolutely nothing and it was everything that I thought it could be."
  12. Re: by WinDoze · · Score: 4, Funny

    A banjo is better tuned with a hammer. (Sorry... my wife plays banjo)

  13. Re: by daeley · · Score: 4, Funny

    A banjo is better tuned with a hammer.

    Are you referring to a tuning hammer or to one you might find in, say, a hardware store? I guess it depends on how good a banjo player your wife is!

    (Sorry... my wife plays banjo)

    Ooooh, so much for that.

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