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Fathers of Linux Revealed: Tooth Fairy & Santa Claus

Posted by timothy on from the humor-trumps-ignorant-posturing dept.

An anonymous reader writes "The Alexis de Tocqueville Institute, which published the results of their very thorough investigation today, turned out to be right. Linus really isn't the father of the Linux operating system. After having been found out, Linus had no choice but to admit -- this is what he has to say: 'Ok, I admit it. I was just a front-man for the real fathers of Linux, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus.'"

41 of 739 comments (clear)

  1. Hah! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    I gnu it!

  2. Familiar pair for atheists. by Thinkit4 · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Linus is on the Celebrity atheist list. I had a hunch when I heard the tooth fairy and Santa Claus being mentioned together. They are often examples given of non-existent beings (that grant wishes).

    --
    -I am an elective eunuch.
    1. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by benploni · · Score: 4, Interesting

      Education has the highest correlation coefficient to lack of belief in a personal god. By most surveys, more than 90% of professional scientists don't believe in a personal god. It doesn't surprise me one bit that Linus is an atheist -- I already knew he was smart and educated.

    2. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by s20451 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Education has the highest correlation coefficient to lack of belief in a personal god. By most surveys, more than 90% of professional scientists don't believe in a personal god.

      I can buy the second statement, but not necessarily the first. There are plenty of people with higher education who are not scientists.

      In fact in most churches a prerequisite to joining the clergy is an advanced degree. Furthermore, the "professional degree" that you need to be a priest or pastor is a Master of Divinity, which normally requires an undergraduate degree, much like a law degree. There are no shortage of top universities that have excellent theology or divinity departments. Some of the world's most influential and interesting thinkers have been theologians.

      As for the "90% of scientists" claim, I think that's a nasty prejudice on the part of scientists, rather than something to be proud of. Think about it: science and religion explore orthogonal aspects of life, neither of which is any less real than the other. Science tells us about what we can observe and test; religion illuminates things that are by nature untestable, like morality, ethics, compassion, and love for our fellow man.

      In spite of what some might say, science can't really illuminate our understanding of God very much, because by nature you can't perform an experiment on God. Furthermore God can easily escape whatever assumptions a scientist may make (or, as one Vatican astronomer put it, "God is not a boundary condition"). By the same token our understanding of God can't do much to illuminate science, because when (for example) the bible contradicts a scientific observation, the observation must win. Fortunately most mainline religions acknowledge this, it's just the loudmouth conservative wackos who perpetuate the stereotype that a Christian believes the world is four thousand years old.

      In fact my opinion is that the existence of God is an axiom. This fits because axioms are initial assumptions that cannot be tested, and as yet nobody has even developed a convincing test for the existence of God. One either believes that God exists or doesn't exist, and that belief affects the remaining propositions in one's life as any other axiom might. In no way is this incompatible with a career in science. In fact, if one believes (as I do) that God exists, what we know about the universe contributes to a sense of awe concerning the greatness of God. And, as one theologian suggests, this is one important aspect of religion: the "fear" of God puts you and your petty problems into perspective.

      Religion really isn't about heaven, or hell, or converting as many atheists as possible, or strapping a bomb to yourself and blowing up a cafe. Religion is about suppressing your own ego and having compassion for those around you, which is something that a lot of scientists could sorely use.

      --
      Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
    3. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by UserGoogol · · Score: 5, Informative

      Larry Wall invented Perl. If that doesn't show the mind-twisting effect that religion can have on some people, I don't know what does.

      Of course, Knuth is an absolutely wonderful computer scientist, so clearly religion goes either way.

      --
      "Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity." -- Hanlon's Razor
    4. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by Profane+MuthaFucka · · Score: 5, Insightful

      having compassion for those around you, which is something that a lot of scientists could sorely use.

      OK, this is just an ignorant thing to say.

      The fact that you're posting that ignorant comment means that neither you nor your parents died from a childhood disease. Thank a scientist.

      In fact, it's not likely that you had any siblings that died in infancy. Thank a scientist.

      And you probably more had more fat kids than undernourished in your school when you were a kid. Thank an agricultural scientist.

      You probably had the opportunity to know your grandparents, since they probably lived to be about 75 years old or so. Thank a scientist.

      You never had to worry about getting yellow fever from a mosquito bite. Thank a scientist.

      When it gets dark out, you don't need to go to bed. You can stay up and read to get an education. Thank a scientist.

      Hell, you can fricking educate yourself all day long. You don't have to scratch in the dirt just to eat. You've got the luxury of spending the first couple decades of your life just feeding your brain. Thank a whole shitload of scientists

      I could go on and on and on, but it's the unvarnished truth that BILLIONS of people are alive today because of what scientists have done. On the other hand, religion's track record is so poor that when Mother Theresa provides a place for poor people to DIE, she's considered a saint.

      I think you owe a lot of scientists quite a lot more than an apology, but I doubt they'll get it from you. Just like a bully in grade school, it's just too much damn fun to beat up the smart kid.

      --
      Fascism trolls keeping me up every night. When I starts a preachin', he HITS ME WITH HIS REICH!
    5. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by benploni · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Then agian Science can't explain how life forms(today), Science can't explain out of the billions of permutations that evolution requires why is there only one Intelligent species, Why hasn't another one exsisted? The probalities would say it should of happened.

      What?! What about chimpanzees and dolphins?

      Why Science does every corner of the planet have a belief about dragons of all various sizes, yet man was 62 million years to late for Dinosaures?

      Many corners of the planet have a flood myth too. That does NOT mean that Noah's myth is a historical fact.

      Somethings don't make sense, some need help from other points of view, and some never will. Expand your mind.

      Just because science can't hasn't yet explained something doesn't mean religion can. It's called the divine fallacy.

      Just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's not true. It's called argument from incredulity, and it's just as wrong.

    6. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by s20451 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You're starting out by assuming the thing you mean to prove or support.

      The reason it doesn't work is that you are mistaking burden of proof.

      Tell you what. How about you go look up "axiom".

      Did someone say "intellectually lazy"?

      --
      Toronto-area transit rider? Rate your ride.
    7. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by astflgl · · Score: 4, Insightful

      axiom (aksZ m) n.1. a self-evident truth that requires no proof. how is "god exists" self evident? how can you call someone intelectually lazy when you take possibly the most massive shortcut it's possible to take in philosophy/religion? and how did you get modded funny?

      --
      sorry
    8. Re:Familiar pair for atheists. by Minna+Kirai · · Score: 4, Insightful

      ould be infected with HIV and I've made a HIV test and it was negative. Say whatever you want but I'll thank the God for negative test's answer

      "Thank you, God, for killing those other 10 million people with AIDS, but not me!"

      There are many speculations that they are human creations. HIV, SARS etc.. Thank a scientist.

      Trying to get yourself passed over as paranoid/credulous, huh? Well it won't work... even if HIV and SARS were artificial diseases (laughable thought), they'd still be God's responsibility.

      If you believe in God, then every time you "Thank a scientist", you should "Thank the God" too. But there are many things beyond the power of science- for those things, good or bad, you can still "Thank the God"

      How do you know that you're existing?

      That's simple, actually. I think I exist, so I do. The circularity of that argument is no weakness. Regardless of what the definition of "existence" might turn out to be, we can show that some things meet it.

      In oposite, it teaches us to love every man, every creation in this world.

      It does not... the Christian Bible is full of examples of the rightness of killing and vengeance. However, even if I accepted that relgion attempts to teach love for others, a look around will tell you that it has failed. The USA is one of those most heavily Christian places on earth; especially according to its own president; and yet it also maintains the most powerful killing force this planet has ever seen.

  3. Humour is a sophisticated weapon by Space+cowboy · · Score: 5, Insightful


    Only when you are sufficiently confident in your premises do you venture to be droll to your enemies, and make no mistake, the AdTi is Linus' enemy. The use of humour is simultaneously the ultimate statement of confidence and the ultimate put-down - it's a pre-generated sound-bite. It's a kick in the vitals. To all on the (winning) side of Linux, it's a rallying cry. Go Linus.

    There's nothing more satisfying than placing your critics up on a pedestal and ripping them to shreds - the pen is indeed mightier than the sword, and it doesn;t depend on pointiness :-)

    What will be interesting is just how long the AdTI will remain a serious news source - the ultimate goal is obviously to get them to discredit themselves to such an extent that they can be held up as an example of how *not* to do it. Given their paymaster, the hopeless nature of their case, and the imperatives they must put forward each time, I think we have a significant chance of a sacrificial lamb in Linux' cause... Rope to hang themselves is what we want... Remember that :-)

    Simon

    --
    Physicists get Hadrons!
  4. SCO = Santa Claus Operation? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Heh heh heh

    1. Re:SCO = Santa Claus Operation? by AndroidCat · · Score: 4, Funny

      No wonder Darl won't let us see the list .. he's checking it twice.

      --
      One line blog. I hear that they're called Twitters now.
  5. d'oh by abscondment · · Score: 4, Funny

    This just in:
    SCO Claims they created Linux and sues itself. Happy day.

  6. It makes sense... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    who else would give away free software?

    not too sure about the tooth fairy...his prices are kinda steep...

  7. Linus first step in creating linux by Neil+Blender · · Score: 5, Funny

    # ftp ftp.sco.com

    20 ProFTPD 0.0.1 Server
    Name (sco:admin): anonymous
    331 Anonymous login ok, send your complete email address as your password.
    Password:
    ftp> prompt
    Interactive mode off.
    ftp> mget *

  8. And I thought... by Fred+Foobar · · Score: 4, Funny

    I thought the real father was Darth McBride.

    "Linux, I am your father!" :-)

    --
    It was a really good paper.
  9. The flaw in this argument... by LinuxParanoid · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's true that Linux is an imitation of prior Unixes.

    But remember folks,

    Linux copying the behavior of various UNIXes is stealing, but Microsoft copying the behavior of the Mac or Xerox Star is not. And Compaq's reverse engineering of IBM PC BIOS is what caused the death of the PC industry!

    Oh wait.

    --LP

    P.S. I'd be nervous if the press release said AdTI president and pundit Kenneth Brown was tracing the code... but it says he "traces the free software movement over three decades". Hrm, good luck there, Ken!

    1. Re:The flaw in this argument... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Interesting

      To be fair: Both Microsoft and Apple copied Xerox.

      You can read the story of how Xerox invited a number of companies (including Apple) to port Smalltalk to various hardware platforms. This exercise led directly to the Apple Lisa (the "Mother of All Macs"). No, they were not based on Smalltalk, but this introduced the WIMP metaphor to Apple.

  10. mod DOWN the duplicate post Posters by dnotj · · Score: 5, Informative
    This isn't a dupe, we don't read the articles anymore, now we don't even ready the Posting. Wake up people, this is Linus' rebuttal.

    Article Text: LW Slashdotted already


    LinuxWorld Exclusive: Linus Torvalds Makes Startling Admission, Discloses *Real* Fathers of Linux May 17, 2004 Summary As only Linus Torvalds can, the undisputed - except by the Alexis de Tocqueville Institute - inventor of Linux has as promised let LinuxWorld have his immediate comment on the AdTI's president's claims this morning that the parentage of Linux is in doubt. Read his startling admission exclusively here.

    "Ok, I admit it. I was just a front-man for the real fathers of Linux, the Tooth Fairy and Santa Claus."

    Thus begins a characteristically Torvaldsian e-mail to LinuxWorld News Desk sent by Linus Torvalds in response to our invitation to comment on the sensationalist claims this morning that he isn't, after all, the inventor of Linux.

    "They (for obvious reasons) couldn't step forward to admit that they had gotten bitten by the computer bug, and had been developing a series of operating systems on their own during the off season. But when they started with Linux (which they originally called Freax - they do feel like outsiders, you know, and that's a whole sad story in itself), they felt that they could no longer just let it languish in obscurity. They started to look for a front-man, and since Santa Claus is from Finland and thus has connections to Helsinki University, and the tooth fairy claimed 'He's got good strong teeth,' I got selected."

    "Since then," Torvalds continues, "I've lived a life of subterfuge, always afraid that somebody would find out the truth. I'm actually relieved that it's over, and that the Alexis de Tocqueville Institute has finally uncovered the lie. I can now go back to my chosen profession, the exploration of the fascinating mating dance of the common newt."

    In a PS he adds:

    "Btw, did you know that newts have more offspring if you play the harmonica to them during their mating rituals? It's true."

    And in a PPS:

    Btw, I do believe that somebody took over adti.net.

    I don't think the Alexis de Tocqueville institute ever had humor (they certainly used to take themselves very seriously), but their site today is filled with jokes.

    Maybe they forgot to pay their DNS registration fee, and some enterprising person decided to play a joke on them? Or maybe their clocks are running a month-and-a-half late?

    Or is it really unintentional?

    Linus
    --
    No more Micro$oft bashing from me. Its like bashing at the special olympics.
  11. what they will say by JoeBuck · · Score: 5, Insightful

    The Toqueville people say they are going to quote people like Dennis Ritchie and Richard Stallman. What those Ritchie and Stallman almost certainly told them is that Linux is a faithful re-implementation of Unix and thus not highly original or ground-breaking; also that Linus is often given credit for functionality that is not in the kernel (you know, the whole GNU/Linux flamewar). And all that's true. The problem is that the Toqueville people don't get that this is perfectly legitimate; the Posix standard that specifies the behavior of Unix-like systems is a public standard, the code is all original and there were no patents in the way.

    1. Re:what they will say by Pseudonym · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Exactly. The original "study" is correct in that Linus didn't invent very much at all, but they fail to acknowledge that this is completely beside the point. Linus constructed the Linux kernel from scratch. Like all people who progress humanity, he only did so by standing on the shoulders of giants.

      For what it's worth, Henry Ford didn't invent the automobile, either, but even decades later, we'd hardly accuse him of theft. Moreover, he built cars that existing drivers would already know how to drive by making them look like the cars that were there beforehand.

      The situation is similar to what Darrel Huff in How to Lie with Statistics refers to as "the semi-attached figure". If you can't prove something, prove something else and pretend they're the same. So, for example, you say your toilet cleaner "kills germs faster" and strongly imply, though never right-out say, that this has something to do with your family's health even though it probably doesn't.

      Worst of all, this kind of thinking completely ignores how human progress happens. It's the myth of the genius all over again. Progress happens on the fringes of what we already have. When you get down to it, every work is a derivative work (except in the legal sense of the term). Einstein couldn't have come up with the idea of relativity without centuries of work by smart physicists and mathematicians before him.

      Hell, Unix is just a castrated version of Multics, right?

      --
      sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f(q{sub f{($f)=@_;print"$f(q{$f});";}f});
  12. Finally some truth from ADTI... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    At the Tocqueville Institution site here, try clicking accomplishments. ;)

  13. Horrible! by Woogiemonger · · Score: 4, Funny

    I can deal with Linus not being the father of Linux, but what I can't deal with is the tooth fairy being a guy! Now I'm picturing a hairy-legged fairy dressed like a ballerina reaching under my pillow. The horrors!

    1. Re:Horrible! by jpetts · · Score: 4, Funny

      Now I'm picturing a hairy-legged fairy dressed like a ballerina reaching under my pillow. The horrors!

      Just be glad it's only under your pillow...

      --
      Call me old fashioned, but I like a dump to be as memorable as it is devastating - Bender
  14. Lies, all lies! by Revvy · · Score: 4, Funny

    While a formal statement is being prepared, please allow me to express my outrage and personal dismay at the coninuing lies about the origins of the "Linux" operating system. It took many arduous years of skillful coding and deliberate system design for my employer to create what has been stolen from him. In the interest of the public good, he has continued, against my best advice, to allow the bastardization of his avocation to be coninually distributed without compensation or even recognition.

    But now, as Linus Torvalds insists on further disregard of the truth, my employer has become enraged and will soon begin legal action to claim his rightful place as the creater of "Linux", originally and forever known to his friends, employees, and supporters as Bunix.

    Sincerely,
    Bun E. Sue
    Chief Counsel
    Easter Bunny Inc.

  15. This is cool by BCW2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Linus not only believes in the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. He has a better sense of humor than 90% of the people in the entire computer industry.

    --
    Professional Politicians are not the solution, they ARE the problem.
  16. I've worked as a consulatant by Space+cowboy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    ... and we didn't try and tailor the report (3 months work for 5 people including world-wide travel) to our paymasters. Our view was that we were being paid to produce a report on what is (for a fairly major computer manufacturer) rather than what they would like things to be. They already know what they would like things to be...

    On the other hand, "hired guns" are mercenaries - they will do as you wish, when you wish, how you wish. The AdTI are hired guns. Some of us (the others :-) still have some self-respect and integrity - please consider each case on its merits...

    Simon.

    --
    Physicists get Hadrons!
  17. Í like it by AlecC · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This is the right way to respond to the foaming-mouthed radicals of the right.

    There is no point in trying to point out their idiocies. Anyone with enough braincells to count in binary can see that they are spouting irrational codswallop. But there is no point in losing your temper and trying to point out the idiocy of their ways - these guys are beyond redemption. Laughter is the safest refuge - laugh lest ye cry. Well done (again), Linus.

    --
    Consciousness is an illusion caused by an excess of self consciousness.
  18. ridiculous. by wastedimage · · Score: 4, Insightful

    This is getting ridiculous. We should enjoy these stories people! I mean serously any day now people have to start seeing this. How many people can honestly beleive that microsoft just happened to give money to all these companies giving linux shit? Why the hell don't they spend that money on more proficent coders?? FUD only works to a point ..I wish the media would see this and go after ms. Its almost like they're being anticompetitive or something...oh wait jackasses yes thats it jackasses.

  19. Fuck! by Hooded+One · · Score: 4, Funny

    Santa told me he loved only me. That cheating bastard!

  20. Re:Fathers? by RatBastard · · Score: 5, Funny

    It's long been known that the Tooth Farie is a drag queen. Santa and Toothy got married today in Boston.

    --
    Boobies never hurt anyone. - Sherry Glaser.
  21. Re:/. should STOP giving creedence to by XaXXon · · Score: 4, Insightful

    If I had mod points, I would. Mostly for putting mod point comments in your comment.. But also for being one of those obnoxious people who comments about the stories fitness to be posted as opposed to the story itself..

  22. Famous scientist believers [Re:Familiar pair...] by j.leidner · · Score: 5, Insightful
    By most surveys, more than 90% of professional scientists don't believe in a personal god.

    Except for the best ones. Like Stanford's Donald Knuth , for example.

    Or take the case of Reverend Thomas Bayes, the parish priest who discovered Bayes' theorem, on which modern machine learning/data mining relies so heavily, including spam filters named after him.

  23. SantaClaus.com agrees ;-) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    see http://www.santaclaus.com/faq.html#Linux

  24. Re:Famous scientist believers [Re:Familiar pair... by benploni · · Score: 4, Informative

    Lots of famous scientists were deeply religious. I never claimed otherwise. I merely expressed lack of surprise that Linus is not.

  25. Re:Bad Name - as usual by Dirtside · · Score: 4, Funny
    "Could care less if there is or is not a God -- so, quit arguing incessantly about it and pass the gravy!"
    Ah. You mean apatheists. :)
    --
    "Destroy science and religion. Science would re-emerge exactly the same; but not religion." - Penn Jillette, paraphrased
  26. that must irk RMS real bad by discogravy · · Score: 4, Funny

    just cos he's got a beard doesn't give Linus any reason to call RMS "Santa".

    --
    FreeBSD for the impatient.
  27. Re:Dishonest list? by boots@work · · Score: 4, Funny

    It depends on what conclusion you draw.

    "I think there probably is a unicorn, though we can't see it." - unicornist

    "I'm not sure if there is a unicorn, since it might be hidden." - unicorn-agnostic

    "I think there aren't any unicorns, otherwise we would have seen one." weak-unicorn-atheist

    "It's impossible for something to exist and be absolutely undetectable, so unicorns are a logical impossibility."[*] strong-unicorn-atheist

    ([*] i'm not necessarily making this argument; it's just an example)

  28. Study not authored by Alexis de Tocqueville Inst. by Kakurenbo+Shogun · · Score: 5, Funny

    A careful analysis of the study reveals that it was not authored by the The Alexis de Tocqueville Institute, but actually cobbled together using words stolen from the English language.

    --
    Convert RSS to HTML - integrate webfeeds into your website
  29. What about Al? by Froboz23 · · Score: 4, Funny

    We're forgetting that Al Gore took the initiative in creating Linux.

    --
    Take off every Sig. For great justice.