Slashdot Mirror
Harmless Pranks During a Downsizing?
Jailbrekr asks: "I am the I/T manager for a large horticultural firm, and will soon be a victim of aggressive downsizing. The downsizing is so aggressive that my position, the only I/T related position, will be eliminated. Being the lone gun has meant that I have held a significant amount of power within this organization, and until now, have refrained from abusing it. Seeing as I will soon be out of work, I have begun my (tongue in cheek) 'reign of terror'. To start, this week is 'Gummi Bear Week', where everyones wallpapers now have a (worksafe) gummi bear theme.What I need are suggestions. What can I possibly do that is work safe, humorous, and not something which will get me fired prematurely? During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?"
Windows DrunkenMouse.exe and ChristmasLights.exe were always quite amusing to run on remote computers. :-)
accidentally redirect the top secret executive salaries e-mails/spreadsheets/etc to the public mailing list. This is especially a good idea just before a downsizing. Make it look like a simple computer error. Being the head of IT, that should be fairly simple.
Install Ninnle on all the servers just before all the jobs are outsourced to India!
Read up young grasshopper.
During the dot bust, when downsizing was all the rage, what did the tech geeks do to abuse their power, and keep the workforce entertained during those especially stressful periods?
:P
Install games on everyones computer, and put shortcuts on the desktop. Before you know it "KILLING SPREE" will be a common noise of the work place.
Frink: Nice try floyd, but you were designed for scrubbing, and scrubbing is what you shall do.
I once set this up for April Fools day:
..init file (equivalent to a DOS autoexec.bat file, but on a Honeywell mainframe.) at the stroke of 11:59:59 the night before.
We had a shared id, and I set up a timed job to install a new
Every user that logged on started to run this program. If you asked it to list your files, it showed a blank list. If you asked for mail, it said no mail, etc. Of course, I installed a secondary password to allow me to get out and eventually delete it, but that's just planning.
I think you about to act like kind of IT person that gives everyone a bad name. Be professional.
Shouldn't you start sending our your resume and start figuring out who won't be fired so you can ask them to provide a reference for you?
Just don't do something stupid like running magnets over all of the backup tapes, that would be wrong and terribly illegal, especially if someone were to hollow out the inner workings of all of the servers.
[o]_O
Have you considered installing the BSOD screen saver on every PC? Nothing bad happens unless someone panics and hits CTL-ALT-DEL. And since the three finger salute is user initiated, any problems because of this are user error, and thus beneath the concern of a short timer.
- doug
Why don't you jsut do your job? If oyu do your job the best you can, your employer won't have a bad idea of you, and could be used as a reference for another job. Be thankful you have a job, despite the fact it will be cut. Some of us have spent most of our lives in school, and when we went out in the workforce, all we could find after 6 months of hardcore job seeking was a 6.75$ an hour job part time at Burger King. PS. If I was stressed out as my livelyhood was in jeopardy and someone played a prank on me, I would be very pissed and file a complaint with your supervisor.
-------
Support Indy Music. Buy
You can be sure that the managers are already afraid you will leave something behind that could cause harm. If they think their fears are realized you might find yourself being walked to the door prematurely.
Once when my sysadmin/netadmin/everything job was finally eliminated when the boss called me in to tell me he complained that nothing was working because they shut everything down to change passwords and such. The worse I did was tell him that wasn't my problem anymore. I never tried to get in. I let him worry that I could.
Do the professional thing - which is, don't do anything.
Your next employer might just call this one to see what they say about you.
Ever dream you could fly? Get up from the Flight Sim. I Fly
Are you kidding me?
People are about to be fired, lives uprooted, and you're screwing with their computers?
Glad I don't work with you. I don't know if I'd be able to restrain myself from beating the bloody pulp out of you.
If you really want to be a useful member of society, you'd start making phone calls, setting up some training, helping all those people about to be let go line something else up.
Yourself included.
If *I* were about to be laid off, the last thing I'd be thinking about would be gummi worm backgrounds.
Now get back to work.
Tape on the bottom of mice. Mildly entertaining. Sounds week! On your last day make all the logoff sounds be a toilet flushing, or the sound of the headmans axe...after all...you're getting the axe! In the name of process improvement make a dvorak keyboard, and put it on the boss's desk all setup and running. Mail server fun! Put somethign in a odd area that sends the boss a email every 40 e-mails or so saying "you really should not have downsized your it guy". make it a reply to his e-mails.....from whomever he sent it to. Depends on what your definition of fun is. I enjoyed leaving a timed effect that had the puter start this whining overload noise on bootup on one specific day of the year...and had a "O V E R L O A D W A R N I N G ! ! ! !" screen appear. With small SMALL print advising people to evacuate the room. Made some folks scream and stuff with that one....nowadays it would be a terroristic bomb threat :(
14 words: badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger MUSHROOM MUSHROOM
There are 10 kinds of people: ones who understand ternary, ones who don't, and ones who think this joke is about binary
to the full wav of 'livin la vida loca' and sit back and enjoy!
Boredom's not a burden anyone should bear.
I used this last April Fool's Day...went over well, except with the management who sent out emails expressing how irritated they were that someone had this much excessive time before a release. Was good for a laugh, though...
--trb
A few desktop prank programs, especially the gems from LizardWorks, are always fun. SneakyIcons is particularly amusing, methinks :)
Unfortunately, I have no clue if they'll run on XP.
The World Wide Web is dying. Soon, we shall have only the Internet.
You claim to be at a large company, that you are the only IT staff, and you are about to be downsized. You don't say whether or not the company will continue operations, will it?
If this company is going to continue operating it will need support for its IT infrastructure. Where will this support be coming from? There is no one better to support them, right now, than you so, use this as an opportunity. Set yourself up as a consultant or the one they outsource their support to. This lets them keep operating smoothly and offers you a chance at a pay rise.
It happens like this all the time. The full-time IT staff is downsized, only to return the next day as contractors getting paid much more than they were the day before.
If however, you play pranks and are generally unprofessional about the job then you lose your job and a good opportunity.
If you're frustrated and angry, do something else. Your pranks will probably not amuse anyone but yourself. Or just focus on one person to play the prank on. I think it's rude to subject everybody to it.
After all, since the IT person is being eliminated it is EVERYONES responsibility to keep things up and running.
The sending of this message pretty much inconveniences everyone involved.
Maybe that's why they're letting you go...
Don't do anything. You're already on your way out the door & you don't need anything to push you over the edge. Anything you *do* do, even innocuous, simply turns the gears off the C** in what you *could* do if you decided to be malicious.
It's just not worth it. (IMHO)
Consider a possible consequence: immediate termination over a misunderstanding. Some people will think it's funny, some will think it's annoying, and the Sr. VP who didn't save his report last night before shutting down only knows that you messed with his system and he can't find his report. It won't look good on the ol' resume.
Here come da fudge!
Duplicate them someplace where they are saved for a few weeks and then sent all together to the users or public. Otherwise, they'll be on to you with the very first one.
Be professional, and don't mess with their systems. In this day and age, it's not a good idea to be labelled as a "[cr|h]acker". Best case scenario: you get let go early. Worst case: they blame all of their problems on you (now and in the future), and/or The Law comes knocking at your door. That level of liability is not good.
Having said that... enjoy your "paid vacation". Don't put in overtime or give the extra effort unless you know the rank-and-file workers (not management) will be harmed by it.
Turn the pager and cellphone off when you're not at work.
Take time every day to look at the newspaper's job section -- even if you've already got something lined up.
This is place-specific, but... if your company has an informal dress code, show up in a suit and tie. And make sure that you are adamant about your hours that day -- or cut back a few hours. If you're in a suit-and-tie office, tweak the dress code as far as possible within the letter of the rules.
Take the time to correspond with friends and contacts, giving them all your new email address.
Catch up on your reading. Put your name in ink on your computer books, or if you want to be bold, pick up just about anything else. You know what will be least (or most) upsetting to your coworkers.
If at all possible, try not to write any kind of scripts to automate your job. This sounds petty on the surface, but if/when something breaks you don't want to be getting any phone calls -- or having it look like you got in to break something. Unless you're getting a nice stay-bonus or severance package, what happens after you're gone is not your problem.
If you do the opposite ("do good to those who harm you, etc."), you have the opportunity to demonstrate that you are a worthwhile source for the consulting work they will surely need, and a good reference.
Horticulture is a good model for your preparation:
First, prepare the ground. Make an extra effort to make sure that things will run as smoothly as possible, put together a plan for them that includes what you, in your professional opinion, consider the minimum admin support - perhaps a visit once per month.
Fertilize. If you do this, you may develop the first valued customer in your consulting business, which might continue after you take another job ==> extra $$. They already trust you enough to employ you; now they will know they can trust you enough to retain you.
Plant the seed. Ask them for a letter of recommendation. Ask the boss to send it to his friends, citing the reasons he is forced to let you go. He may well find you your new job, or several good consulting prospects.
Water and nurture. This may be the opportunity for you to establish your new life at the next level.
Have faith. Watch as God (or whoever you prefer to consider) gives rain and sun to your new life.
It's easier to be a result of the past, but more fun to be a cause of the future! http://www.spacefinancegroup.com/
So you should "abuse" your leet IT skills to setup that mailing list to facilitate the "networking" and set up proper filters or make sure it is not published anywhere, otherwise the headhunter/spammers will get a hold of it, :)
It's one thing to be smart enough to figure out how, against the odds, to crack a supposedly secure remote system and install a prank on it. It's a different thing entirely to be granted the power to abuse a system, because someone put their trust in you, and then abuse it. In fact, it's utterly pathetic.
Doesn't it make you feel good to know that our freedoms are protected by politicans, lawyers and journalists.
I spent four years honing my burger building skills and my french fry salting skills. (I'm on the curly fry honour roll!)
And all I got was this lousy IT job. I'm making $50K+ a year, but my real love is deep frying random things in beef tallow for minimum wage.
A guy can dream, can't he?
Create a slideshow of pictures of your coworkers -- if necessary, photoshop their faces onto other people's bodies, in a SAFE FOR WORK and APPROPRIATE but funny fashion (i.e., no nudes, no sex, and nothing involving politics or race or sexual orientation). Include everyone, even people you hate.
Set it to music (a midi file of "The Way We Were" or Chicago's "If You Leave Me Now" would be pretty darn funny), compress it all into a flash (or similar) slideshow, and set everyone's homepage to the page that lets them launch it.
Sensitive types will cry, easily amused types will laugh, and they'll all think about their coworkers in a more positive light.
It's good that you're looking to keep it worksafe and humorous. And not getting fired early is good too. But you fail to mention what should be your primary filter.
Remember that the management droids (HR, etc) are probably going to make it through the cut (since they're usually the ones making the cuts). And they're also the ones that will be writting your letter of recommendation or being listed on your references. Since you've been the "lone gun" ITman, that could be a very valuable recommendation. So while trying to lighten the mood and play the prankster to releive your stress and that of the other workers, remember not to step on the toes of those being left behind, their recommendation could be the one that helps you land your next job.
DONT PANIC
The IT peon and myself (the non-IT peon) set up a local server that thought it was www.google.com, and looked like google.com -- until you tried to search (or click any other link) at which point it delivered a page in googlesque legalese suggesting that searches "from your IP address" are not allowed, and that google was "cooperating fully with the authorities in an ongoing investigation".
Then we changed 1/3 of the office machines' hosts file to point google.com domain requests to it.
In mid-may, a few people still had it on their machines, and had NOT sought assistance in removing it because they didn't want to call attention to it. Heh.
I mean, it's not like there are links to follow or anything?
How come everybody is all "Don't be 'that' guy", rather than attempting to understand the intent of the post? He even states, IN THE TEXT that he's looking for harmless things to do that will KEEP EVERYBODY AMUSED. I mean, it takes like, what, 5 minutes to do stuff like change the wallpaper for well administered workplaces?
Seriously, he's not doing damage, and he doesn't seem to be interested in malicious behavior, just some fun for dark times.
here's one:
Set up a message broadcast system and play a game of simon says with everybody in the office.
hmmmm?
Um, yeah that's wonderful advice... what are you, 12 years old?
#1 is illegal, it's called blackmail, and your stupid ass will be dragged to jail if you try that.
#2 is simply called theft, and you won't make it three days with this one.
Look, if you're not at all concerned about your professional reputation, what kind of reference someone will supply about you, your chances of them recommending you to someone who's after someone with your skillset, etc then, by all means, kid around. But if you care at all about these things, then be aware that what you consider to be a harmless and humourous way of saying goodbye might not go down that way with everyone.
Just remember this: as much as first impressions count, so do last ones.
"Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue." - David Brent, Wernham Hogg
Yes, be professional. That doesn't mean you can't have fun, but strike a balance.
At this point it should be 9-5, an hour for lunch off site, and no after hours phone calls. Got banked flex time? Use it up now.
Beyond that you really should look at what you can do to eliminate any suggestion that you didn't do your core job. Yes, that means updating essential documentation of those things that you were hired to do. Stuff that you did as a favor can be ignored.
In fact, write it up, add a table of contents, and hand over the cerlox bound (aka, not machine readable)copy on your way out the door.
Clear your workstation of any programs or files that aren't 100% company issue, nuke all non-company e-mail and files, and then sanitize the hard drive so that you don't have to worry about someone finding the stuff later. Tell your co-workers to do the same. Do this a week or two before your last day.
If there is the slightest chance of a lawsuit - and hey, spend a couple hundred bucks on an employment lawyer to see what is and isn't negotiable - you should be copying records of work done and hours worked and taking them offsite. Not internal confidential information, but the paperwork that will support any claim that you might make.
Again, tell your co-workers to do the same.
Finally, do not assume that your employer knows or is telling you the truth about what your rights might be under the law. Depending on your jurisdiction you may be eligible for more severance pay than they offer. Ask your lawyer.
Ask your employer for letter of reference as early on as possible. Even better, write it for them and offer to let them just copy it to letterhead and sign it. Having that letter pretty much assures that they'll say good things about you if they are called. It also will prove valuable if the rest of the company disappears and there is no-one who can actually be contacted.
Although some employers would not approve, it is a good idea to send your personal e-mail to as many contacts as possible before the company shuts down your account. A lot of people who know you as joe@hort.com will have great trouble finding you once that address is gone.
And remember - on the last day it doesn't matter how late you are, how early you leave, or how you dress. And you don't have to shake the hand of the people who are firing you.
Three Squirrels
If you're about to be leaving a nice small friendly company like I did, stick with what you're doing.
There's lots of malevolent things that can be done, and as we can see people are fast to hand these out and condemn you for mentioning the idea at all. The big cool stuff has potential for backfiring. So keep it simple, and be sure to back it out (and write down instructions to back it out, just in case).
The shop I left still has no IT person 3 years later. They get by with simply avoiding change and have the owners kids do the basic PC fix and reinstall. I get the occassional hour or two consulting a year to help with the overhauls, but with the economics they've just had to cut back.
Nobody complained about the screen savers and backgrounds...they can be done well, in good taste, and still provide plenty of humor. (Of course good photoshop skills were part of our IT job there.)
I fixed up the policies to prevent users from changing the screensaver and backgrounds. Then set them appropriately for different people--changing daily!
For the guy who loved to set his rotating text screensaver, I put in an app to set it various choices and force it back after he changed it.
Oh and of course, for the Notre Dame fan, set his browser's home page to a rival college fan site..
Warm happy smiles from the simple things can be nice.
This is one of the times in your life that defines you. It's easy to behave yourself when the consequences of not doing so are severe. But comporting yourself well when you behaving badly is easy is a mark of strong personal character.
And to head off all of you out there carrying around the moral barometer: mutual respect and professionalism is a 2-way street so treat your employees right or suffer the wrath of those with nothing to loose!
ESheep.
For security reasons the fact that you know all the passwords and that you are going to be laid off you are considered a security risk. So change all the passwords to a randomly computer generated ones, that you don't know yourself. That way you are not considered a security risk. When the company needs to get operational after a big power outage or just after a number of system crashes. They will need to pay and Arm and a Leg for the outside consultant to go in and change all the information around.
If something is so important that you feel the need to post it on the internet... It probably isn't that important.
1) set everyone's wallpaper to a funny, non-sexual scene.
2) Change everyone's mouse pointers to one of windows non-stanard ones.
3) Change the login scripts to play the funeral march when they log in.
4) Send an admin message that pops up a window and says "Quit Working, it's time to go home!" at 4:59 PM.
excitingthingstodo.blogspot.com
An interesting related prank is Joseph Haydn's Symphony #45 "Farewell", which he pulled off in the late 18th century. The musicians weren't getting laid off, but rather wanted to be granted a leave so they could visit their families. Using humor and a gentle programmatic hint, the composer (successfully) got his subtle message to the management. In the last movement of the symphony, the musicians drop out one by one, blow out their candle, and leave stage until only a single violinist is left.
This actually happened where I worked 24 years ago. However, probably not by the way of prank.
At the time, I worked in Intel Israel (74) in Haifa, which was the first design center of Intel Corp. outside of USA.
One day I and my buddy tried to display a file in our computer terminal (this was before the IBM PC era). What was displayed instead was information about the salaries of the 40+ employees which Intel Israel had at the time.
http://www.lemonizer.com/banana/.
Ant(Dude) @ Quality Foraged Links (AQFL.net) & The Ant Farm (antfarm.ma.cx / antfarm.home.dhs.org).
Staff live in fear of the power of the IT people. Anything you do that reminds them of this will be taken badly. Even the most light-hearted of practical jokes will get your arse handed to you.
If they downsize, you'll get a severance package. Maybe not a golden parachute, but at least it's something.
If you give them "just cause" to fire you, you've got nothing.
If staff had any real clue how powerful (and cost-effective) the IT people are, they wouldn't be firing them this way. But, they'd rather fire someone to save cash now, than keep them on to save the downtime and related expenses later.
Now get back to work.
So sayeth Bartleby,the world's most dedicated Scrivner. Listen to his wisdom, young Slashdotters, and you to may have the priviledge of dying at your desk one day, just like him.
===---===
Together, we will drive the rats from the tundra.
HOWTO: Make bad documentation look good
When I was in 9th grade, I wrote a program which would make the screen go black and "The Matrix Has You..." would appear onscreen, just like the movie. Then I set up applescript on the machines in the lab so I could trigger it remotely.
I was fired from a big telecom compagny a while back and had time to reflect on this question...
;-)
:-)
:-)
:-)
If your central file server is NFS, I suggest getting a portable. Install linux on it and make a script that:
- get an ip address from the DHCP server, or use a static one if none is assigned. Don't forget to change you mac address every few iteration. If the server doesn't accept connection to unknowed client, just crash a machine and take it's place
- Mount the file system and randomly delete files for 5 minutes.
- Stealth yourself for a random amount of time (24-48 hours).
and start over...
the portable can be neatly hiden in the floor of a server room under piles of wire
Let them figure out that they need an IT guy
Of course that most likely will get you sued, so I never suggested that you do it
Take a screen shot - make that the background pic.
Then hide all the icons in a directory.
You're one of those long-hair, new-age hippy types, aren't you?
and check it for porn at the same time
The real "Libtards" are the Libertarians!
We actually just started having more fun at work, then making changes to the network. We would lob our "stress balls" at anything interesting, and unbreakable.
The real maliciousness, however, was after we were laid off. I took the relocation package and moved to Kansas, but that's when all the problems really started. Files started disappearing, and finally entire file systems and backups. I'm not sure how they were doing it, but since part of the migration meant I gave up my root access and all admin responsibilities I couldn't investigate. In the past we could narrow it down, but without root and the logs I was powerless. I eventually quit and moved back to California, but I still haven't (nor has anyone else) figured out who was whacking files.
So simple, and yet so annoying. I've done this a couple of times to fairly tech-savvy coworkers, and it always takes a surprisingly long time for them to figure it out.
Have you played with VNC lately?! You could easily have some fun connecting to users stations and opening random windows, typing to them, or making their computer "haunted." Heck, if ya really wanted to be bold you could call some random non geek and tell them there's a nasty virus going around that does X. Then make X happen on their computer with whatever remote administration tool you are using. They'll freak out and call ya right back asking how to fix it :D
--untwisted
http://www.hardocp.com/image.html?image=MTA4NjI5Mj kyN0o4ZEZBRUdjWHJfMV8xX2wuanBn
Just saw this a few minutes ago. Not tech related, but still quite amusing.
I used to get high on life, but I developed a tolerance. Now I need something stronger.
is how a large firm will can their only IT manager who is in control of so many machines that a joke will have any effect.
Are companies going to stop using computers eventually or what?
Don't people still have to make backups? What happens if a disk fails? Suppose someone downloads a virus. Who is going to fix it? If the company grows, shrinks, changes, what are they going to do about their computers?
Also, if the IT job has been so slack over the last few months that there is no work, what should IT people do to keep their job or make their department profitable?
Know your pads. One time pad: good for cryptography. Two timing pad: where to take your mistress.
So, you (or your friends) basically screwed you out of a new job? Wonderful!
Life is everything but nothing.