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FTC to Examine Patent Application Process

Armchair Dissident writes "The BBC is running an article that suggests that the FTC is to look into the way that patents are reviewed and issued. If this article is correct it seems that many guesses as to how patents are issued were correct; with 95% of patent applications being approved. They may also address the issue of "patent trolls"."

49 of 307 comments (clear)

  1. Patent Trolls? by Nuclear+Elephant · · Score: 5, Funny

    Are you telling me Microsoft didn't really invent the double click?

    1. Re:Patent trolls? by ichimunki · · Score: 5, Insightful

      I know you're joking, but the patent system is based on a "first post" methodology. That is, if you and I both work on an idea at the same time, yet independently and unaware of the other, then I run down to the patent office to get my patent while you are still in the lab, I get the patent and theoretically have the privilege of excluding you from using your own invention.

      You ask me, that's problem number one that the patent system needs to solve. In the dot-com age it becomes especially important because the rapid pace of invention holds some real potential for destroying the prior art defense (i.e. if you and I both build a 15-click shopping tool for an online store within a very short time of one another, but one of us patents it first, how will the other successfully argue prior art?)

      --
      I do not have a signature
  2. Patent trolls? by Trigun · · Score: 4, Funny

    Did they patent the first post?

  3. For a moment I thought this was good... by Neophytus · · Score: 5, Insightful
    Until I read this:
    Top tier executives from Cisco, Intel, Ebay, Symantec, Chiron, Microsoft and Genentech are taking part.


    It's good to know the biggest corps best businessmen are going to decide on the next generation of patent law.
    1. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by ctr2sprt · · Score: 5, Insightful
      Who else should they ask? They're not just going to pull random people off the street. The mess we've got now is at least partially a result of computer-illiterate politicians setting the rules. At least they're picking execs who probably know more about computers than how to operate the on/off button.

      We sure won't get a great patent system out of these guys, but we may get a better one. After all, most companies don't bother enforcing patents violated by individuals - they enforce those violated by other companies. That means that while MS, eBay, et al. are some of the worst abusers of patent law, they're also the some of the hardest hit by the abuses of others.

      This is a limited case of enlightened self-interest, which is why I'm optimistic we'll see some improvement. Even reducing the number of bad patents by 5% or eliminating some of the worst classes of them would be a big step.

    2. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 4, Insightful

      500,000 unemployed engineers and the best we can do is the heads of several multimilion dollar corporations to decide patent law. It's enough to make me loose whatever faith I had left in representative democracy.

      --
      SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
    3. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by JungleBoy · · Score: 4, Insightful

      > Who else should they ask?

      Maybe they should ask Academics who are less invested in and benifited from the current patent process. Find people who are technically savy, but at least a bit removed from the patent process. Granted, many Academics recieve patents and benifit from the patent system, but I'd put money on there being fewer patent trolls amongst academics than amoung corporate executives. At least academics have obligations other than making fat sacks of cash for stock holders.

      --
      "You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet might be running loose in your pants."
      -Calvin
    4. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by Cyris · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Can it be worse then it is? I hope not.. but it is possible. I do agree, however, that these execs know more about computers, but this does not mean that they know what is best for patents.

      After the Enron/Worldcom/etc issues, I have a hard time trusting execs from companies to make decisions that could possibly effect smaller businesses. Look at Walmarts business practices. Imagine if they had the ability (other then current political) to change the way the law looks at labor. I have a feeling they would not make any changes to benifit the masses.

      Cyris

    5. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by cpt+kangarooski · · Score: 3, Insightful

      People who are able to represent the overall public interest: the one that doesn't care what inventors think, so long as it is overall a good system for the public.

      Right now I see the equivalent of getting the movie, book, software, and record industries together to write copyright law. Which in fact, is what has been happening all through the 20th century, and it's consistently fucked over the public.

      No matter how enlightened their self interest is, it's THEIR self interest. The patent system is supposed to satisfy the self interest of the PUBLIC.

      --
      -- This and all my posts are in the public domain. I am a lawyer. I am not your lawyer, and this is not legal advice.
    6. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by onion2k · · Score: 3, Insightful

      "A scientist looking at a non-science problem is just as dumb as the next guy." Richard Feynman.

      Same goes for engineers. The patent process is a business and legal issue, not an engineering problem.

    7. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by Waffle+Iron · · Score: 5, Insightful
      The patent process is a business and legal issue, not an engineering problem.

      When they started handing out countless thousands of obvious and non-novel patents, it became an engineering problem. As in: A lot of engineers now have a problem getting their jobs done because they can no longer use the most straightforward and obvious approaches to implementing their projects.

    8. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by HiThere · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Which is one of many reasons why the best answer would be the removal of the patent system. Or at least the removal of all amendments to it made since around 1860.

      The modifications made to the patent system to adjust it to assembly line production were totally wrong-headed, and additions made on top of that have merely made things worse.

      --

      I think we've pushed this "anyone can grow up to be president" thing too far.
    9. Re:For a moment I thought this was good... by Archibald+Buttle · · Score: 3, Insightful

      Do you really think that the likes of Cisco, Intel and Microsoft really like having to fork out millions of dollars to lawyers for patents?

      Yes, these companies file patents that should not be granted. I would suggest that file them knowing that these patents shouldn't be granted. Having a large library of patents means that when they are challenged they have the option of cross-licensing patents they hold to make law-suits go away.

      Unfortunately we are in a situation where bogus patents get granted, and this creates a vicious cycle, meaning that more patents get filed that also should not be. The only way to rectify this situation is a complete review of the patent system, and a comprehensive review of patents issued. Obvioiusly in an ideal world only truely novel and original ideas should be patentable.

      As far as I can see fixing the problem does not require a change in patent law, it merely requires a complete review of the patent issuing process. That involves ensuring that patent offices are sufficiently funded to properly investigate patent applications, and also to review existing patents. Unfortunately the US patent office seems to have been underfunded for some time.

      It is in the interests of big business to fix the patent system in order to reduce their costs. I am sure that Cisco, Intel, Microsoft, et al. don't enjoy having to fork over millions of dollars to lawyers. Remember this doesn't just cost them money - engineers that are valuable for development work end up having to deal with lawyers for the purposes of defending patents when they could/should be doing other work.

  4. Not Everyone Understands the Patent Situation by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    Here's an editorial discussing and explaining exactly the patent issuing problem in US.

  5. Finally! by cmburns69 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Can it be that somebody at the FTC actually reads slashdot?

    "Outlook Positive"!]

    --
    Online Starcraft RPG? At
    Dietary fiber is like asynchronous IO-- Non-blocking!
    1. Re:Finally! by Timesprout · · Score: 4, Interesting

      No, more likely they are looking at covering their own asses in future. The patenting system at the moment is a real threat to companies, particularly smaller ones trying to make a buck. When MS get bitch slapped in court for 500 million over a stupid patent (its under appeal or review I think) you can bet that grabbed a lot of CEO interest adn instilled a desire to 'improve' the system.

      --
      Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
      What truth?
      There is no dupe
  6. Finally- by thewldisntenuff · · Score: 5, Insightful

    We're working towards a solution...Suprised that MS is on the list of supporters....

    But note the end, which states -

    "The last major changes to patent law were in 1952 and there is no legislation before Congress which means that ideas like a patented method for picking up a box by bending your knees may well continue for some time. "

    So let's not hold our breath, eh?

    1. Re:Finally- by NeoThermic · · Score: 5, Funny

      >>So let's not hold our breath, eh?

      Until they patent breathing through biological devices that exchange oxygen for carbon dioxide...

      NeoThermic

      --
      Use my link above, or to view my server, NeoThermic.com
    2. Re:Finally- by stratjakt · · Score: 3, Interesting

      Why are you surprised MS would be there?

      They just got boned by that Eolas thing where loading a plugin in a browser was patented.

      The only time I've ever head of them using their patents is over the use of FAT in compact flash devices, which seems to me to be a patent describing a specific behaviour of a specific type of filesystem, rather than the vague transparent plugin thing.

      This isn't even about changing patent law, just the application and granting process, which I believe the FTC has direct control over. That is, they can give the order "no more rubber stamping" or "take these steps to search for prior art", etc. No new laws are needed to at least improve the current situation.

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  7. The real news by Mz6 · · Score: 3, Interesting
    What really happened was that Microsoft tried to collect their royalty payments on all the double-clicking going on.

    And did anyone else read the last part as "parent" troll instead of "patent" troll? Or is that just me?

    --
    Hmmm.
  8. Pay me royalties! by MalaclypseTheYounger · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just took out a patent on running articles that suggest that the FTC is looking into the ways that patents are reviewed and issued.

    1. Make a Patent.
    2. Enforce the Patent.
    3. Profit!!

    --
    Check out the best P2P sharing website: MEDIACHEST.COM
    1. Re:Pay me royalties! by molarmass192 · · Score: 5, Funny

      You aren't maximizing your profit potential with a 3 step process. It should be like this:Real,
      1. Make a Patent.
      2. Sock patent away in filing cabinet until 1 year prior to expiration and concept is in widespread use.
      3. Enforce the Patent.
      4. Profit!!

      --

      Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws-Plato
  9. Slashspeak. by Oliver+Defacszio · · Score: 3, Insightful
    They may also address the issue of "patent trolls"."

    In other words, patents owned by anyone you don't like, or agree with. That is what troll means around here, isn't it?

    --

    -
    Inventor of the term 'pardon my French'.
  10. hopefully... by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 4, Insightful

    ..they'll have people that are 'experts' in given fields. Somebody who knows the difference between a PDA and a general computing device with limited resources. Heh.

  11. Troll Checklist... by FortKnox · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... slashdot, check...
    ... patent office, check...
    ... FCC, check...
    ... TV? Well, we have foxnews and soon-to-be AlGores Democratic-fest channel.... check

    So... who's left to troll?

    --
    Good quote, too many chars. Seriously, the slashdot 120 char limit sucks!
  12. A tautology by k4_pacific · · Score: 4, Interesting

    From the article:

    "But we have seen instances where companies use that monopoly in an anti-competitive way"

    Doesn't a monopoly imply a lack of competition? This would seem to go without saying.

    --
    Unknown host pong.
    1. Re:A tautology by proj_2501 · · Score: 4, Informative

      It doesn't go without saying.

      It is not illegal to have a monopoly. It is illegal to use your monopoly in certain ways to squeeze more money out of your customers or to stop competitors from appearing.

  13. Stop rewarding the damned parasites! by FyRE666 · · Score: 4, Insightful

    I don't understand why the US legal system doesn't adopt one of our better ideas here in the UK: Make these "patent trolls" and other leeches pay the defendant's legal fees if they lose their cases in
    court instead of slithering off to drag someone else in front of a Judge. This would kill an industry built around threatening people
    with huge fees stone dead.

    It would no longer matter if "Shithead inc."
    with their newly acquired patent on "sitting the right way around on a toilet" threatened a shelter for blind puppies with legal action, since Fido and pals could count on a less than gallant army of equally unscrupulous lawfims would work on no-win no-fee no-payout basis to defend them.

    Mom and Pop stump-jumper could simply ignore the SCO's of the World and go about their business as the legal vultures and patent maggots preyed upon each-other.

    Why the hell should any company (even Microsoft) have to pay out to defend themselves against these parasites?

    1. Re:Stop rewarding the damned parasites! by stratjakt · · Score: 4, Insightful

      Then only the rich companies who could afford to lose a patent fight would be allowed into the system.

      Say I invent something, an actual unique new device. A machine that makes super-fast transistors out of recycled chewing gum or something.

      Then sleaze-co starts using my invention, I try to sue. They bring a barrage of buzzword-spouting techies and slick lawyers to confuse the hell out of the judge and jury.

      Without a billion-dollar war chest, I'd be risking bankruptcy by patenting my invention.

      The legal system is an adversarial one. The best fighter wins, and that person is not necessarily in the right.

      Would you want to sue Microsoft, knowing you were right and they were wrong, but realizing if the judge doesnt see it that way you'd wind up millions of dollars (or pounds) in the hole?

      --
      I don't need no instructions to know how to rock!!!!
  14. Look out Forgent and Microsoft! by newt_sd · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Any chance this could render some of the more idiotic patents worthless.

    Case in point
    Microsoft and their double click of death

    and

    The guy who patented swinging in a swing?

    ITS ABOUT TIME THIS WAS REVIEWED

    --
    ***I GOT NUTHIN***
  15. Patent Trolls, Patent Insightfuls by Atario · · Score: 3, Interesting

    How about a Slashdot-style modding system on patents? Could we prevent gaming the system?

    --
    "A great democracy must be progressive or it will soon cease to be a great democracy." --Theodore Roosevelt
    1. Re:Patent Trolls, Patent Insightfuls by Nuclear+Elephant · · Score: 4, Funny

      Then all our patents would be classified as "Overrated", "Funny", or "Troll"...and there'd be at least one mention of soviet russia in every schematic.

    2. Re:Patent Trolls, Patent Insightfuls by fred_sanford · · Score: 5, Funny

      Then all our patents would be classified as "Overrated", "Funny", or "Troll"...

      Don't forget Overrated, Informative, and Interesting you insesitive clod!

      ...and especially Redundant would apply as well.

    3. Re:Patent Trolls, Patent Insightfuls by freakmn · · Score: 4, Funny
      ...and especially Redundant would apply as well.

      ...and especially Redundant would apply as well.
      --
      warning: This post is likely to contain gobs of dripping sarcasm. Consume at your own risk.
  16. Next patent by Mz6 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Well.. logically the next patent in line is the Ctrl-Alt-Del one. It was probably used more than their double-click.

    --
    Hmmm.
  17. Maybe this will stop Process Patenting by Marxist+Hacker+42 · · Score: 3, Funny

    At least until the lobby gets built to make EVERYTHING patentable.

    --
    SJW: a person who perceives an injustice, and while correcting it, commits a greater injustice.
  18. The problem by pappy97 · · Score: 4, Interesting

    The problem is that the USPTO cannot thoroughly review all applications. Thus too many fall through the cracks.

    Belgium has solved this problem. They issue patents as easily as we can register copyrights. Got a dispute? Take it to the courts.

    I like that system. Take the power out of the examiners hands altogether and let courts decide these issues. Yes I know courts already decide issues, but with the way courts invalidate patents, what is the point of the USPTO?

    Sure someone will say that might favor big companies as they can afford patent litigation, but we know that getting rid of IP legal protection is not going to work.

    We are not going to simply eliminate the patent process (although you can, by Congressional action, or by amending the Constitution). Any of you geeks who think this will happen are in fantasy-land. We simply need to take power out of the hands of the USPTO.

    Another good effect of this would be that all those patent prosecution attorneys (aka patent scribes) would lose their jobs, quit the practice of law (since they only went to make more money than an engineer), and flood the engineering/ computer programming market. All the while the demand for patent litigators (more of a REAL lawyer than a patent scribe) would skyrocket.

    That would at least stop the outsourcing of patent prosecution to India...

    1. Re:The problem by Halo1 · · Score: 4, Informative
      Taken from another post of mine in a previous story:
      • Study by the Federal Trade Commission from October 2003 (extracts with the software patent related stuff from that report). Conclusions: many indications that software patents hamper innovation because of, among others, patent thickets.
      • Empirical study by Bessen&Hunt on the effects of software patents in the US. Conclusion: software patents have resulted in a transfer of R&D money to patent departments and has not resulted in increased R&D. Because of the incremental nature of software development, patents hinder instead of encourage innovation.
      • Study ordered by the European Commission in preparation of the European software patents directive. It did not suit their goals however, so they avoid referring to it. Quote: "Unless this fundamental lack of knowledge is addressed in a more structured manner, any proposal to optimise the patent system in respect of software-related inventions is based on nothing more than wild guesses or wishful thinking."
      --
      Donate free food here
  19. patent trolls by nanojath · · Score: 5, Insightful

    funny responses all used up (darn) so here's the informative one...

    "patent troll (PAT.unt trohl) n. A company that purchases a patent, often from a bankrupt firm, and then sues another company by claiming that one of its products infringes on the purchased patent.. --adj."

    Via The Word Spy http://www.wordspy.com/words/patenttroll.asp

    --

    It Is the Nature of Information to Transgress Artificial Boundaries

  20. Heh... by SeaDour · · Score: 3, Funny

    If trolls are a problem with the patent office, the solution seems simple: start giving citizens patent moderator points.

  21. The article spells out the problem pretty plainly by Weaselmancer · · Score: 5, Interesting

    The National Academy of Sciences is calling for more funding for the patent office where 3,000 examiners handle 350,000 applications a year with an average of 17 to 25 hours to check on the validity of a patent application.

    Businesses claim a lack of due diligence at this stage often results in patents being granted that should not see the light of day.

    There you have it, the entire problem in a nutshell. Too much work, and not enough people.

    And I have a solution.

    Public review for patents. Open source meets patent reform.

    Here's how the new system might work. Someone applies for a patent, and it gets posted to a website for public review.

    That gives the public the ability to search for prior art. If prior art is found, even after the patent is granted...zap. The patent is invalid. And if the prior art is more than...say 5 years old, the idea is now public domain and no longer patentable.

    Also, widen the definition of prior art. Best example of that I can think of off the top of my head is Intel patenting a method to detect overclockers. Measure the cpu clock versus an internal clock. Compare. If they differ by more than a small percentage, shut down. In other words, they managed to patent a binary counter. Bogus. Simply using an established widget in a new way shouldn't be patentable. No more Bezos "with a computer" patents.

    And no patent should be granted for more than 5 years or so. This is important, otherwise we could wind up in a technological backwater. Small countries (with no extradition treaties with the US) would be the next Silicon Valley. You think you're being outsourced now? Just wait until you can't program at all in the US due to fear of litigation.

    I think that it should be possible to have an idea, patent it, and make your million. But not at the expense of the entire tech sector.

    Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to go double click something. ;^)

    Weaselmancer

    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  22. So many things to talk about by jkabbe · · Score: 4, Insightful

    The notion that pointless patents are somehow new is simply false. It would be nice if we could screen these out better so that examiners weren't wasting valuable time doing work on swingset process applications when they should be working on important business patents.

    It's nice to see some optimism that expanding the examiner force should alleviate some of the problem.

    And here's a suggestion for eliminating trolls:

    Currently a large percentage of patents that go to trial (I remember reading 40-50%) are declared invalid. Why not, in those cases where a patent is declared invalid, require that the plaintiff cover legal fees of the defendant? If that were the case you had really better be sure that your patent was valid. Kind of a specialized "loser pays."

  23. Write your Congressmen, especiall Republicans by ShatteredDream · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Tell them that the system needs to be fixed, not thrown out. Mine is Goodlatte (R-VA, 6th) and my suggestion to him is to use funds from the axed TSA to hire qualified laid off IT workers to act as screeners since they, unlike typical patent screeners, worked in the industry.

    The push should be to limit software patents to 2-3 years so that we don't sound like anti-business commies. Follow it up with hiring good patent examiners and you're suggesting a good solution that moderate congressmen can safely support.

  24. Re:The article spells out the problem pretty plain by Weaselmancer · · Score: 3, Informative

    Thank you AC! Didn't know such a thing existed.

    But after a quick read, I found this:

    All utility patent applications filed in the United States Patent and Trademark Office after November 29, 2000 will be published if an applicant does not expressly request on filing that the application not be published. An applicant may make a request for non-publication if (1) the applicant has not filed the application in any other country that publishes applications; and, (2) the applicant does not intend to file the application in any country that publishes applications.

    So, it's a little bit better, but not by a whole lot. You can still hide your applications, and it doesn't take into account things already "in the system."

    I still say that serious reform needs to take place. But it's nice to know that the law already sees it, AC.

    Weaselmancer

    --
    Weaselmancer
    rediculous.
  25. Public Comments? by clonebarkins · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Does the patent process currently have a public comment phase? That is, are patent applications publicly available, and do (or should) assessors take those comments into account?

    --

    "The evil of the world is made possible by nothing but the sanction you give it." -- Ayn Rand

  26. Another potential fix -- please post thoughts by 0x0d0a · · Score: 3, Interesting

    Here's a comment I posted earlier today where I mention the patent reexamination process and suggest a modification. I'll re-print a summary of the data here

    It is currently possible to request that a patent be reviewed by the USPTO. This does not require a lawsuit (or technically even a lawyer, though there is a need for a properly-formatted request).

    There are two types of re-examination. They differ in several respects. One, inter partes, allows you to basically provide rebuttals to the filer's explanations, and the other ex parte, does not.

    My thanks to Thalia for locating the associated fees on the USPTO website: inter partes costs $8800 and ex parte $2500. Both of these costs do not include legal fees, which Thalia estimated (for inter partes) at about $12,000.

    The problem is that getting a patent runs about $1,000 (again, not including any legal fees). This tends to slant things towards people acquiring patents, as it is still more expensive to get a patent revoked.

    The modification that I'd like to see made would involve *patent owners* having to pay ex parte or inter partes fees if it is determined that their patent was improperly approved. This means that groups like the EFF (and, with some work to make the process particularly easy, perhaps anyone) can initate re-examination requests while supplying prior art examples.

    Such a change would encourage patent filers to ensure that their patents really are legitimate when filing (reducing the number of bogus patents), and would not financially penalize someone who knows of prior art and wants to fix the USPTO database (if anything, I'd like to see someone who successfully brings up an example of prior art and gets a patent revoked *paid* a small fee by the patent filer for their time).

    This change would involve minimal changes to the system, and not much cost. There might be the issue of collecting from the patent owner, who might be unwilling to pay. I think that an eight-thousand dollar deposit per patent would probably be too weighty, so I'm not sure how to approach that detail yet. However, even if the USPTO needs additional funding to help cover costs of employees needing to review patents where the USPTO cannot collect from the patent filer, I think that we woudl be better off (furthermore, that individual could be barred from being issued future patents until they have paid off their existing dues).

    Problem: this change would *have* to grandfather old patents, as companies and individuals would otherwise be liable for masses of money for bogus patents. Irritating as it is that those people were able to get away with such behavior, the system permitted bogus patents, and charging them fees for said patents now is not reasonable (nor would it be acceptable to many people).

    I think that this is the only feasible approach to the problem. Trying to ensure that the USPTO never grants invalid patents would require that they maintain a huge staff of PhDs that are up on the bleeding edge in every area of research (and honestly, woudl be better off doing research instead of reviewing patents).

    Thoughts?

  27. Re:95% accepted sounds wrong by Smallpond · · Score: 4, Informative

    You are correct. Most US patents get an initial rejection - a list of prior patents with similar-sounding words in the titles. Then your high-priced patent attorney answers each objection with why your patent is bigger, faster and cleaner. Then it gets accepted. The PTO makes no search of the literature in the field, trade magazines, or current practice, only prior patents.

    How could this be fixed? Only hire experts in the field as examiners? Search google for each patent and trust the information that you get off the internet? Keep a big pile of old Scientific Americans, and Popular Science lying around at the PTO?

  28. no overall.... by zogger · · Score: 5, Insightful

    .... IT union = zero political power. Always voting for a democrat or republican = zero political power.

    No political power = zero economic power.

    Zero economic power = modern technofeudalistic serfdom for the producers,and getting worse daily.

    I am constantly amazed how so many really *quite smart* people haven't bingoed to this yet.

    1. Re:no overall.... by cshark · · Score: 4, Interesting

      A friend of mine tried to start an IT union here in town. It was like herding cats. Problem with unions is that they don't work when there are broad ranges of people that all fall under the same umbrella. IT is a very large label.

      Under the banner of IT you have, hardware techs, IT managers, Database administrators, Windows Administrators, Unix administrators, Web designers, 20 kinds of programmers that are currently marketable, 10 kinds of programmers that aren't, and anyone else who considers themselves to be "knowledge worker." To borrow a term from Gates.

      And the best part... each one of them has their own cyber religion that conflicts with the next. It's never a good idea to get that many kinds of IT people in a room, let alone working together for their common interests.

      Might cause the Universe to implode.

      The closest thing we have to a general techies union is /. and I'm sure you're aware of the kind of love fest this place is.

      --

      This signature has Super Cow Powers