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Halo, Doom Sequels Rated - By Psychic

Posted by simoniker on from the more-accurate-than-many dept.

Friedenfelds writes "Xbox Nation magazine asked a psychic to predict reviews of Doom 3, Halo 2, and a bunch of other big Xbox games - the results are pretty funny." Among the games rated by "a bona fide soothsayer" are Halo 2 ("I see a lot of partnerships in the cards... there's a third in the works, but no one knows this yet. You'll enjoy it, but it's not great for any relationships you're in") and Doom 3 ("The review of the game, by the people... it's not going to play out as well as people expected. Maybe there was too much expectation.")

43 comments

  1. "Maybe there was too much expectation" by KozmoStevnNaut · · Score: 5, Interesting

    Well, DUH!

    Of course some people will expect the impossible and be disappointed when they actually get to play the game. That's how it always is.

    Doom 3 is on of the most highly expected games ever, mostly due to the massive popularity of the previous Doom games, and also because of peoples faith in id to bring a rock-solid FPS experience. It might not live up to every little expectation, but it will be great. And the modding potential is very great. Every single bit of the game content as well as the tools (apart from Maya and Lightwave, of course) will be shipped in the box, making it even easier to get started on that map or mod.

    I am very much looking forward to finally being able to play Doom 3. I am certain that it will evoke pretty much the same feelings as the original games did. And I won't be surprised if I shed a tear or two due to nostalgia ;)

    --
    Eat the rich.
    1. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by ObsessiveMathsFreak · · Score: 1

      I completely agree. To hear (read) some of the talk around the web, you'd swear Doom3 was the second coming. As always with this type of hype, when it come out people's jaws will drop, they'll sing its praises and buy it by the truckload.

      Then after a few months, a few patches and a few million frags, peole will turn around and say, "It's good, but I suppose it's not what I expected."

      I Have Spoken. :E

      --
      May the Maths Be with you!
    2. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by ziggy_zero · · Score: 2, Interesting

      Did you ever play the alpha? If that's any indication of the gameplay, you won't be disappointed (and I don't think most people will be).

      Even in the very small demo levels they had in the alpha, there were some great surprises - it felt much more like you were in a suspense/horror movie than in a run-of-the-mill fps.

      And of course it looked great (lighting especially), and it ran fine on my Athlon XP 1800+ with a GeForce3 that long ago...so there shouldn't really be any hardware issues by the time it comes out.

      --
      I belong to the ______ generation.
    3. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by KozmoStevnNaut · · Score: 1

      I did play the alpha, yes...

      And I absolutely loved it. I ran like crap on my machine, of course, but the atmosphere was still very, very awesome. I actually looked behind me nervously every time those ghost voices played ;)

      --
      Eat the rich.
    4. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by Crayon+Kid · · Score: 3, Funny

      Doom 3 is on of the most highly expected games ever, mostly due to the massive popularity of the previous Doom games, [...] I am very much looking forward to finally being able to play Doom 3. I am certain that it will evoke pretty much the same feelings as the original games did. And I won't be surprised if I shed a tear or two due to nostalgia ;)

      They'd better hurry already. Otherwise there won't be any people left who played Doom and Doom II. Well, OK, I exagerate, they won't be dead, it's just that you kinda grow out of computer games by the time you're 50.

      --
      i ate crayons when i was a kid and now i have two braincells and the blue ones taste nicer
    5. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0
      To hear (read) some of the talk around the web, you'd swear Doom3 was the second coming.

      Na, I'd have to say that award goes to Half-Life 2. Between all the delays, code theft, conspiracy theories about why the game 'really' isn't out, HL2 sounds like it better be THE game of the year and then some, or else.

    6. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by El_Ge_Ex · · Score: 1

      Doom 3 is on of the most highly expected games ever

      No, I think that spot is reserved for DNF...

      (ducks...)

      -B

    7. Re:"Maybe there was too much expectation" by junkgrep · · Score: 2, Interesting

      I played the alpha. It was pretty good, with fantastic atmosphere (even with slightly glitchy shadows and low-res level textures, the normal maps are a visual coup). But I can also see how the gameplay could get old fast. While the game offers incredibly moody visuals, the actual gameplay seems very dated. I'm sure they'll have some innovative things cooked up with creeping along in the dark or with the flashlight as some reviews have described, but I think Halo2 and HL2 are going to offer a lot more as far as a neat and new gameplay experience, both SP and MP.

  2. Who cares about Halo 2 and Doom 3? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    They got their hands on a real live psychic and didn't ask about the release date for Duke Nukem Forever?

    1. Re:Who cares about Halo 2 and Doom 3? by loyalsonofrutgers · · Score: 5, Funny

      The person was a psychic, not god. Psychics don't perform miracles.

    2. Re:Who cares about Halo 2 and Doom 3? by Sv-Manowar · · Score: 1

      I think they'd be sued by the Psychic's health insurance, the future can only be predicted so far you know

      --
      Business Voyeur
  3. The Question They should have asked is... by tayjo · · Score: 1, Funny

    When the hell is Duke Nukem Forever coming out?

    --
    With your neck on my shoulders we could wreck civilization!
    1. Re:The Question They should have asked is... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Geez, the parent was posted in the same minute as the above one, and was #9439695 instead of #9439693. #9439693 was probably posted while the parent was typing. Despite this being a psychic-related story, I don't see why you should be modded down just because you don't have ESP.

  4. Top notch. by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    Probably the most accurate game review I've read this year!

  5. This just in! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    Xbox site, desperate to publish anything on big name games that have been delayed, sees a complete and utter charlatan who says what everyone non-rabid fanboy with two brain cells could have told you.

  6. Pfff! by Golantig · · Score: 5, Funny

    On Doom 3:

    "I think maybe the sales will be disappointing."

    Yeah, no-one is going to buy it; they'll just give it to their mates on 4 floppy disks.

    1. Re:Pfff! by johansor · · Score: 2, Funny

      FOUR floppies!!? Do you even know how expensive floppies are? Of course I could download it of my friends BBS but with my new 14.4baud modem it'll still take a day or two. Some dude talked to me about something weird called Compact Discs yesterday. But they just seem silly, like they'll ever be able to fit 650 MEGABYTES on to those. Personally I'm having greater faith in laserdiscs, yeah those are cool, big and shiny and easy to find how can you go wrong with that? ok, I'm off to watching some Miami Vice episodes i taped on my Betamax...

    2. Re:Pfff! by Kethinov · · Score: 1

      What's that BBS address? I'd like dial up and telnet in from my DOS TUI. Wait until I finish my match of Worms(1) though.

      --
      You're right, I wouldn't steal a car. But if it were possible, I sure as hell would download one!
    3. Re:Pfff! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      s/floppy/hard

  7. My Life Story by naden · · Score: 5, Funny

    You'll enjoy it, but it's not great for any relationships you're in

    Funny .. I remember how I met my gf like it was only yesterday.

    The atmosphere, the excitement, the nervousness. The way she was holding that BFG.

    --
    Funtage Factor: Purple
    1. Re:My Life Story by justkarl · · Score: 1

      You'll enjoy it, but it's not great for any relationships you're in

      I think that this is true for any game, whether it be a FPS, RPG, or anything...I don't need a psychic to tell me that video games promote antisocial behavior. We can file that under "Assumptions".

    2. Re:My Life Story by mindhaze · · Score: 1

      Whilst I agree with you on some level, I disagree with you regarding Xbox Live. The voice component makes it a great social tool. In fact, these days, about the only time I play games is WHEN I'm socializing with friends, etc. Even when I play PC games, we Skype while we're playing.

    3. Re:My Life Story by justkarl · · Score: 1

      That's true, but you're talking to a man who doesn't play online games AT ALL. I don't like them, and for the most part, multiplayer gaming never turned me on. Besides, consoles are really designed for 1 player gaming.

    4. Re:My Life Story by mindhaze · · Score: 1

      That's true, but you're talking to a man who doesn't play online games AT ALL. I don't like them, and for the most part, multiplayer gaming never turned me on. Besides, consoles are really designed for 1 player gaming.

      That's funny... when I look at my Xbox, I see four controller jacks in it. Seems odd that they'd install four jacks if they're only gonna make single player games.

      *shrug*

  8. My Prediction . . . by WarriorPoet42 · · Score: 2, Insightful

    is that they could come out with HORRIBLE games at this point, and just because they are H2 and D3, people are going to buy them in hordes.

  9. I feel.... by Dr.+GeneMachine · · Score: 2, Funny

    I feel.... being drawn into the future... far... very far...
    wait a moment... i'm getting something, a huge event...
    that could be it....
    naah, sorry... just the violent end of the human race, the machines are taking over...
    BUT WAIT!! they continue the developement...
    I'm drawn farther down the timeline... it's very distant now, very weak...
    there! another disturbance!... no, sorry, just the sun going nova...
    still farther into the future... again there is something...
    wait...
    it's faint, very faint...
    ahh, no, that appeared to be the heat death of the universe...
    and still no Duke Nukem Forever
    Sorry, I have to disapoint you, transdimensional sooth-saying is not my metier. You'll have to ask someone else. That's 150 bucks, please.

    --
    This comment does not exist.
  10. She did make a prediction... by Cyrgo · · Score: 1

    She did make a prediction, her answer was:

    "The cards show.. snow.. and ice... and, oh my! The Devil!. This only means one thing: when Hell freezes over."

  11. Oblig. Stephen Wright Quote by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

    I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

  12. umm by Flunitrazepam · · Score: 0, Flamebait

    "Xbox Nation magazine asked a psychic to predict reviews of Doom 3, Halo 2, and a bunch of other big Xbox games - the results are pretty funny."

    No, they aren't

    --
    1) Your analysis is based on bad assumptions so your result is way off. 2) You're a sick bastard for fucking a horse.
    1. Re:umm by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      I agree. Most humor on gaming websites and other fan sites (includes you too Penny Arcade!) is pretty stale and not that funny. Blame the nerds for living a life where certain things in their world are funny, while other people find them retarded and a waste of time.

      WELCOME TO TEH INTARWEB!!!111

  13. Odd title-image resemblance by bluephone · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Ok, click the link in the story, and look at the big yellowish-green image titled "Diviniation Nation", or click here. Now, does that drawing at the right hand side of it look kind of like the goatse.cx image? a flat area with fingers on the edge of a big hole... Odd...

    --
    jX [ Make everything as simple as possible, but no simpler. - Einstein ]
    1. Re:Odd title-image resemblance by M3wThr33 · · Score: 1

      Oh, wow. That's sooo bad. Haha. I need to save that image for later.

    2. Re:Odd title-image resemblance by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0

      Offtopic? Who modded this guy offtopic? It's soemwhat of an obscene comparison, but seeing as how it's dealing with the article's title image, I'd say it's mroe on topic that MOST conversations on /. these days.

    3. Re:Odd title-image resemblance by Mitleid · · Score: 1

      DISCALMER: This post is in no way sarcastic. Scout's Honor.

      That's a pretty cool observation.

      If you can somehow integrate this discovery with Freud, the socialization and therefore subconcious adaption of institutions of internet-origin (ie; goatse.cx), and somehow throw an intelligent All Your Base... reference in there somewhere, I think you'd have a pretty impressive dissertation.

      In other words, someone should mod this guy or gal up. I think they're on to something...

      --

      --
      Is it me, or did it just get fatter in here?
    4. Re:Odd title-image resemblance by Mitleid · · Score: 1

      However, judging from my complete butchering of the word disclaimer, you should not enlist me to help you write it...

      --

      --
      Is it me, or did it just get fatter in here?
  14. So this is it, huh? by Xentor · · Score: 2, Funny

    We have E3 demonstrations, press releases, PR people, and interviews with developers... And their amazing new source is... a self-proclaimed "psychic."

    I have only one question.

    WHY!?!?!?

    Hold on, let me check a deck of tarot cards... Let's see... Cups... Swords... no, no "Queen of Gameplay"... No "King of Multiplayer"... And definitely no card called, aptly, "Release Date."

    I'm trying to think of a logical, or at least semi-rational explanation for having a "psychic" do computer game reviews... I'm trying, really I am. Maybe... no... But what if-- No...

    I give up... Time to call Miss Cleo and ask about Half-Life 2.

    --
    "The amount of intelligence on this planet is a constant. The population is growing." -Cole's Axiom
  15. Well... by Captain+Salty+Pete · · Score: 1

    Is it just me, or is every one of these 'predictions' easily guessable simply by doing some basic research? There will be a Halo 3? I never could have guessed!

  16. I call BS: (I just had a Miss Cleo Vision) by thirty2bit · · Score: 1

    There is too little prediction there:

    B.C.: I don't think this one will go over very well.

    Silent Hill 4: Sounds too fabulous to be true... They might have different people working on it..

    Doom 3: This one is really weird. and compensate for its...I don't know. I think maybe the sales will be disappointing.

    That doesn't sound like a psychic making predictions, but a journalist who's 'got nothing' and needs to make a deadline. All of the "I think" and "I don't know" statments aren't the typical responses you get from a medium. It just smacks too much of personal opinion rather than divine inspiration to me.

    I call BS. No wait, I predicted that...

  17. When's Duke Nukem coming out? :) by Llama_STi · · Score: 1

    when it's done... :rolleyes:

  18. Doom 3 by D3U+Unconscious · · Score: 1

    John will make DOOM 3 great. You seen the latest trailer? That would own Halo 2 and Halflife 2 on Xbox AND pc. Like how many 12 year olds pay 6 pounds a day to run a Halo 2 or half life 2 site? But like im 12 :P and i run one.... www.d3-unlimited.co.uk Yeah ive been trying to catch a email interview with JC or his crew. But, I never got around to it.... Im blabbing now aint I?