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PCs Use More Sick Days Than People
lunarscape writes "ZDNet is running an article about the 'absentee' rate of PCs in various UK workplaces. According to the article, while the average employee was out sick seven days a year, the average PC was inoperable due to a virus nine days a year. The article also discusses junk e-mail's impact on productivity, with one business reporting that 99.84 percent of all incoming mail is spam."
It never has any problems and is always worki
42 percent say they found it less stressful fighting their way through rush-hour traffic than finding legitimate e-mails among the spam
Living in Seattle, they might think differently.
Sigs cause cancer.
I can't really remember the last time I got sick, but I'm pretty sure the treatment was not to re-image myself.
Maybe that company is Microsoft, and they classify all support e-mails as "SPAM".
Bah. It's a proven fact that 40% of sick days are taken on Mondays and Fridays. Why should my PC be any different?
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These PCs are spending more and more time binge drinking on the weekends. Macs are notorious for ending up dancing with a lampshade on its head.
My PC just cant handle its liqor at all. Damn Mac boozes all night and gets up in the morning no problem though. Its killing me trying to keep up.
Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
What truth?
There is no dupe
If my office computer doesn't use its sick days, can it use that money for upgrades?
My computer will still get promoted before I am!
I'd be out sick more often too if 99.84 percent of what I ate each day was spam.
Looks like the machines are beating us! Come on folks, we've got some catching up to do!
you healthy, wealthy and wise!?!
Hey! No I don't mean the shiny colourful thing on my desk
LINUX is that geeky guy that never takes days off, but instead sits in his lonely office with the lights turned off pounding out incredible amounts of code in record time.
OSX is that hot geek woman that tries really hard to show everyone that she's not just a piece of meat, but instead has a brain. She never takes off either.
OS9 is that old guy on the edge of retiring who doesn't give a $hit about doing the job. He goes to the doctor alot because of cruft, complains about new technology, and talks about the old days to anyone that'll listen. He takes off quite a bit to visit the urologist.
WINDOWS is that guy who managed to get far in the company by taking pictures of the president of the company with a goat. He doesn't really do a lot on his own, but instead steals most of his ideas from the hot chick and the old guy and presents them to his superiors. He takes off all the time to play golf, visit his mistress, and to sleep off hang-overs.
-m
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# Modus Ponens
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The worst of them are some of those especially illegal eastern European bioengineered viruses -- if a worker catches one of those, he calls the manufacturer and leaves the doors and windows at the workplace unlocked. And then he starts sending out hundreds of emails hawking penis enlargements, breast enlargements, home mortgages, spyware, and immunizations against the most popular, common viruses.
You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert until you read it in the original Klingon.
So if i made a trivial spam detection program that just marks ALL as spam will have a 99.84 sucess ratio? mmm maybe i just need to patent that idea.
I like those days at the office when PCs are down. It's far more enjoyable fixing those problems than doing actual work...
Does it make you happy you're so strange?
.. it have its permanent dose of penicillinux.
We send them to the Steve Wozniak Clinic to detox.
I don't make much sense, do I?
--- Ban humanity.
Psssh. Come out here, I'll introduce you to the 405. If the gangbangers don't kill you, the soccer moms surely will.
What we need is a way to integrate this feature with Exposé. Mmm, F11...
Yeah... Actually, most of their machines are down only about an hour, tops. It's that one that's been down since 1982 which skews the numbers!
BSD is the guy everyone ignored. He died yesterday.
./, I like BSD too!)
(hey it's
I've got a revolutionary system to fight spam that I guarantee will be 99.84% effective for this company! It's simple, free, and uses all existing tools! Here's some sample code:
PS: Don't listen to people who tell you it has a high rate of false positives. 99.84% effective, man!